RE: O Dom is me! (Full Version)

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catize -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/2/2012 11:28:09 PM)

I understand the point you make here; however, your property....your 'it' is yours because you made sure to get to know her, and she you, at first. You have been her master for many years; which gives you the right to call her anything you wish.
I am perfectly willing to accept your dynamic as portrayed by both you and littlewonder; sometimes I am a little envious. But ignorant folk such as the OP will think they get the title, the perks, and the rights of a master without time, patience or responsibility for what they want.
The OP, in his arrogance, believes that it is his right to chide an unknown submisive woman for her 'tone'. He has no claim to put any of us in 'his camp', nor does he have the 'right' to act as if we will cower in fear with his threat of 'severe correction.'

quote:

-how can ya beat that?)

Rhetorical question or do I need to explain fists and whips to ya? [:D]



MsLadySue -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/2/2012 11:29:32 PM)

Hands littlewonder some cookies ... save the nails!



Kana -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 12:24:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I understand the point you make here; however, your property....your 'it' is yours because you made sure to get to know her, and she you, at first. You have been her master for many years; which gives you the right to call her anything you wish.
I am perfectly willing to accept your dynamic as portrayed by both you and littlewonder; sometimes I am a little envious. But ignorant folk such as the OP will think they get the title, the perks, and the rights of a master without time, patience or responsibility for what they want.
The OP, in his arrogance, believes that it is his right to chide an unknown submissive woman for her 'tone'. He has no claim to put any of us in 'his camp', nor does he have the 'right' to act as if we will cower in fear with his threat of 'severe correction.'

quote:

-how can ya beat that?)

Rhetorical question or do I need to explain fists and whips to ya? [:D]

1-I wasn't defending the OP at all. I hope it didn't come off that way :-)

I was just making a case for the "it" treatment. I used the lilone as an example (And I bet I made her squirm in doing so-Oh Ko-a double win for meeeeee's-does happy dance), but she is far from the only gal who has a similar reaction/need that I've met over the years. If it was an isolated incident I wouldn't mention it, but it's not uncommon in my experience. Heck, in my mind, depersonalization is essentially a school of fetish devoted to it-ism.
And we won't even discuss pet play which is it-ism taken to another level...but for some reason, one that is widely seen as cute and cuddly and thus acceptable.

I know it ain't everyone's cup of tea, and I quite understand why. And I'm kool with that. I don't judge people who are vehemently against making a slave an it at all or find their position unreasonable.
But there is often a kinda group knee jerk reaction at the concept, one that I kinda think is A-unfair and B-possibly biased based on misinterpretations or, (Far more likely) bad experiences with jerks.
Which is a shame, because when done right, being an it, well, it can be incredibly erotic.

2-Whaaaaaa? Beat? Noooooooooooooo? I would never, ever, not once in a million billion years, slide subtle jokes,quiet mockeries, sly references, innuendo and/or double entendre's into one of my posts.
No no.
Not me. Not this cat.
They won't catch me. I'm fucking innocent.



waitinfersumpin -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 12:37:04 AM)

ouch!



littlewonder -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 12:39:29 AM)

<tries not to snicker and laugh> He's just a warm and cuddly, innocent kitty kat. [X(][:D]




Kana -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 1:03:09 AM)

"Meow"



MissKittyDeVine -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 1:34:55 AM)

I may have to shout a bit here.

OSIDE IS NOT YOUR SUB.


quote:

ORIGINAL: waitinfersumpin

Your tone about not being an "it" says it all. If not having an identity, i.e., assuming a Masters', is offensive to you, I am sincerely sorry; however, such an ego would preclude you from being a true s, and in my camp, you would be severely corrected!




Buzzzz -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 5:09:02 AM)

Wow. according to the op, I have been doing it wrong all along......



catize -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 5:13:12 AM)

1. No, you weren't, just wanted to make sure the OP realized that as well

2. Oh! my mistake!![;)]



OsideGirl -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 7:19:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I know it ain't everyone's cup of tea, and I quite understand why. And I'm kool with that. I don't judge people who are vehemently against making a slave an it at all or find their position unreasonable.
But there is often a kinda group knee jerk reaction at the concept, one that I kinda think is A-unfair and B-possibly biased based on misinterpretations or, (Far more likely) bad experiences with jerks.
Which is a shame, because when done right, being an it, well, it can be incredibly erotic.


Here's the thing Kana....I understand your dynamic with LilOne and respect it. (I don't personally think I could survive it) The love and care that the two of you have for each other is evident.

If objectification is what the dynamic is in your relationship, all is good. But, it's not the dynamic that is in practice within our relationship.
The OP made a statement that placed all submissives into the category of "it" and I find that in poor taste.....and his response to me to be in even poorer taste. With some people you're surprised they're single, others not so much. His "true sub" statement pretty much clears up what category the OP is in.



waitinfersumpin -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 7:39:36 AM)

It seems clear from the posts that my use of the term "it" and other references has become a male/female issue. I want you to know that I try to keep an open mind, and I do listen to everyone. The intent of my intro remarks was to stay within our bdsm realm, and not to provoke any ill-will. With the exception of ChatteParfaitt, who prefers a below-the belt approach, I feel you have all made me feel as if we're all in the same room (and I'm sweating) - even if you dislike my ideaology.

In a casual bdsm relationship, the sub should be respected as a human being, as an intelligent man or woman, and should not be referred to as "it". Especially, no man should disrepect a woman for any reason; knowing too that women are more sensitive to these issues than most men are.

In a 24/7/365, the Dom needs to take care that the sub's ego is not stronger; the sub has made an extraordinary comittment to serve. Now, in an ordinary household where the caretaker is being paid, the head of the household sees a caretaker. But if I were to take that role, it wouldn't be bdsm, would it? How do I take the comittment to another level, knowing that I must be the stronger, is by stripping the permanent sub of an identity which would be stronger than mine. I choose to use "it", but if you understand my view, "it" is merely a term, and the relationship is far more complex than that.



sirsholly -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 8:08:49 AM)

quote:

How do I take the comittment to another level, knowing that I must be the stronger, is by stripping the permanent sub of an identity which would be stronger than mine.


That statement makes you sound like a fearful little bully, afraid of the strength of the one you are trying to master.

It is not about the equality of strength. I am just as strong in my submission as my husband is in his dominance, and that will not change. As i said in a prior post, his strength as a Master inspires my strength as a submissive.

I am getting the idea that your issue is a matter of confidence. Once your relationship expands to another level, what are you going to do? How will you maintain the hold you have managed to achieve? You have actually provided the answer in your last post...

quote:

In a casual bdsm relationship, the sub should be respected as a human being, as an intelligent man or woman, and should not be referred to as "it". Especially, no man should disrepect a woman for any reason; knowing too that women are more sensitive to these issues than most men are.


In the beginning, when your relationship was just starting and casual, you treated her with respect both as a woman and a submissive. That is what made her stay with you and have the desire to take the relationship to the next level. You inspired her as a Master to give you her submission. That submission came to you from a strong woman who had her own identity, not yours.

Now...why do you want that to change?



DesFIP -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 8:26:09 AM)

Having an identity prohibits me from being his true s? I have to be sure to mention this to him later. He needs a laugh.

By and large, only male subs enjoy dehumanization op. Now since you're gay, that's what you're used to. However, the fact that women are different should not have escaped you at your age and therefore categorizing us as fake shows a lack of knowledge and tolerance which doesn't square with your self proclaimed mastery. Open mindedness will get you farther than nastiness, any day.

Additionally, it is apparent that this piece of puffery is an ad designed to find you someone. Keep it to this forum, personal ads are not allowed in any other, even the thinly veiled ones such as this.



OsideGirl -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 8:44:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: waitinfersumpin
How do I take the comittment to another level, knowing that I must be the stronger, is by stripping the permanent sub of an identity which would be stronger than mine.


If the subs identity is stronger than yours, then you're not the more dominant partner. Part 2, if the only way you can be the stronger identity is to strip somebody else of theirs, it means that something is lacking.



JanahX -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 8:46:30 AM)

quote:

It seems clear from the posts that my use of the term "it" and other references has become a male/female issue.
-

No it hasnt. So far youre the only one that supports anything youve said. - besides Kana who has a very LONG term relationship with LittleWonder - you were speaking in terms of a non-existent relationship with anyone. Even better yet - passing on some fantasy of yours onto Osidegirl. Which within itself is weird because according to your profile, youre gay.

quote:

The intent of my intro remarks was to stay within our bdsm realm, and not to provoke any ill-will.


Who is "our"? Whom other than yourself are you speaking for?

quote:

In a casual bdsm relationship, the sub should be respected as a human being, as an intelligent man or woman, and should not be referred to as "it". Especially, no man should disrepect a woman for any reason; knowing too that women are more sensitive to these issues than most men are.


Why do you feel its necessary to preach your interpretations of your dynamic with someone else when youre NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP? What qualifies you to tell everyone else here how this works? You so far come across as nothing but short of delusional. Might be time for a mental health check up.

quote:

In a 24/7/365, the Dom needs to take care that the sub's ego is not stronger; the sub has made an extraordinary comittment to serve. Now, in an ordinary household where the caretaker is being paid, the head of the household sees a caretaker. But if I were to take that role, it wouldn't be bdsm, would it? How do I take the comittment to another level, knowing that I must be the stronger, is by stripping the permanent sub of an identity which would be stronger than mine. I choose to use "it", but if you understand my view, "it" is merely a term, and the relationship is far more complex than that.


Once again - you come across as highly delusional and seem to think you have some kind of super powers to strip someone of their identity. Jeffrey Dahmer tried to do that - he injected chemicals right into peoples brains with a syringe. You come across crazier and crazier every new word you type. Congrats -

I think the best part is, is that I think you are really trying to come off as some kind of intellectual. -



JstAnotherSub -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 8:49:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: waitinfersumpin

Your tone about not being an "it" says it all. If not having an identity, i.e., assuming a Masters', is offensive to you, I am sincerely sorry; however, such an ego would preclude you from being a true s, and in my camp, you would be severely corrected!

That has to be the funniest thing I have ever read on this site, and that is saying something.

Good luck to you. I gotta feelin ya gonna be waitin for sumptin for a long while, but then, I aint an it either, so wtf do I know.

Welcome to CM.



Kana -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 11:01:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: waitinfersumpin
How do I take the comittment to another level, knowing that I must be the stronger, is by stripping the permanent sub of an identity which would be stronger than mine.


You missed the main thrust (heeheehee) of my entire post.
My principle point is that being an "it" does not strip her of her identity in the long run, it instead enhances and raises her position and self perception of being a slave, the very best one she can be.
It feeds that sense of being owned, it adds to her security, it builds faith and trust.

But it doesn't damage her emotionally.
And I ain't speaking for anyone else, but I haven't wondered or worried about anyone, much less a slave, having an identity stronger than mine.
It ain't a pissing contest and I certainly don't need her to not have a stronger self identity to have dominion over her.
She submits because who she is AS A BEING and I dominate because that's who I am, AS A PERSON. It's organically how we fit together.
Because ya know what? BDSM isn't about who is better or who is stronger, it's about who is in charge. Which I happen to be in my relationship, not because I'm bigger or tougher or meaner or capable of kicking her ass, but because that's who and what I am as a man, as a dominant, and first and foremost as a human being.

Point of fact-knowing me, serving me, has given her a stronger sense of self (Which is good, I mean really, what fun is it dominating a spineless jellyfish? What sense of achievement or conquering does that give? What heady nectar would that be to drink?) as a woman and as a slave.
Almost everything I do, that we do, is designed around this. To make her a better slave, to allow her to serve me better (Because that's where she finds happiness and pleasure), to help her to grow and flower emotionally, physically and spiritually.

(Now, some of my methodology can be considered somewhat medieval, but hey, catharsis is never easy :-P)

So no, I don't have to tear her down. I don't wanna tear her down. And I don't tear her down. (You know, because I'm a decent person and all. Think about it for a second-WTF else would she trust me so much if she knew I didn't have her best intentions in my heart?)
What I do do is remove the internal walls and restraints she has built that imprison her, and allow her to fly free, maximizing her potential as a human, becoming the very best she that she can be.

Which is pretty groovy.

And the opposite, folks who have to rip others apart, maim em emotionally, yank out pieces of their souls, to feel better about who and what they are?
No need to ask, because I can tell you exactly what they are.
Pathetic.



myotherself -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 12:55:42 PM)

THIS is the reason I love you, Kana! [:D]

You said what Master says to me...he wanted to have ME as his slave. He chose ME, with my sense of humour, my work ethic, my skills and charms (yeah, I'm sure have some...somewhere...). Now why on earth would he throw away all the things that attracted him to me in order to make himself 'a true Master'?

He wants a strong woman with opinions, hopes, dreams and a fulfilled life who CHOOSES to accept his leadership. Surely inspiring a strong woman to freely and lovingly give her submission is much more fulfilling than breaking a woman and pushing her to the point that she only follows you because she thinks she doesn't deserve any better?


Edited to add: Just saying my 'welcome' here. I recommend you peruse the message boards and hopefully you'll get an inkling of why we're not really into 'one true wayism' round here [:)]



kalikshama -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 1:27:32 PM)

I have no words to add so I will offer cookies:

[image]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_aFMywd-Yvxo/S3ehmugXpxI/AAAAAAAAAW8/XygUqv25z90/s400/IMG_7472.JPG[/image]



littlewonder -> RE: O Dom is me! (7/3/2012 3:02:55 PM)

mmm....cookies....must not look must not look.....

eerr....uumm...oh yeah, I remember now what I wanted to say [8D]

Master is completely correct, of course. There are times when my slavery to him starts to wain a little, I forget my place, I get off balance, physically, emotionally and spiritually...especially spiritually I think. By him doing what he does to me, it makes me remember and grow stronger in my submission to him, it makes me a better being by having him push me to do better and reminding me that I can do it. Sometimes, due to my depression, due to life in general, stress, not seeing him for a little while due to work and other stuff, I can get lazy, I get feel like I'm falling into a black hole with no way to stop. By becoming his it, that pulls me back through that hole and puts my headspace back in the real world, on him, on my faith and trust. And lately, yes, I need this. No I don't usually enjoy it.It's damn hard. But in the end it's what I need and for that I love him in oh so many ways. [:)] <even when I'm biting my tongue and wanting to say nasty things to him. hehehe>



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