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Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/1/2012 11:29:45 PM

PiratesAhoy

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/24/2012
Status: offline

about parts of BDSM that they truly have no idea about?

I've read (so far) a lot of different threads from many different sides of this website, and I've noticed a lot of people who are REALLY new (month or less) posting about how a Dom has left, or how they can find a submissive/slave/Master/etc.

I don't know, I really do not want to be "that person" that is annoyed by it, because I know that I'm new too. But I really wish they would try understand more about BDSM and all of the aspects around it before posting the same thing over and over and over again.

Although I find some of them funny (because it's just too bad not to be), but after a while I just become annoyed by it....

I'm mainly speaking to those that have been here for a while (because you've seen more), is this an concurrent event on this site or did I just come at a bad time? Also, do you have a personal take on it?

As always, Later!

Post #: 1

RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/1/2012 11:57:58 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

*snort* I wouldn't say that it gets on my nerves, but some posts are irritating when the poster in question has admitted zero experience and then proceeds to provide what they perceive as "advice" to those asking questions. It's usually a WTF? moment. :P

I don't pretend to know about everything because I don't!

And I don't view everyone in the same way, since there are some people who are simply new to the site, but not new to kink/BDSM.

Regardless of experience, I do get the desire to bitch slap those whiners who have been here for a short time and say "I can't find anyone!"

Yeah? Boo hoo. Get out and find someone in real life instead of expecting that special someone to fall into your lap simply because you've completed a profile on a web site. Pffffft.

Edited for typo.

Frick...those are what get on my nerves! :D

< Message edited by DeviantlyD -- 7/1/2012 11:59:52 PM >

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 12:36:55 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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Doesn't bother me. In fact, I hardly notice it. If I do see it I just shrug my shoulders and click on the next profile or topic. Why would I get annoyed with it? It's online, not real life.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 12:44:45 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

The people behind the keyboard are real though, so there is some semblance of reality there. I can't completely dismiss everything online as "not real life". I'm just not going to let it override my real life.

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Post #: 4

RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 12:50:25 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Not at all. One of the most valuable things about the forum is the the advice and support that people new to BDSM can get.

That said, plenty of things do get on my nerves, like the "one true way" brigade, people who are irredeemably stupid, and people who just want to pick a fight - but none of those attributes are exclusive to newcomers!

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Post #: 5

RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 4:03:15 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

People post here for all kinds of reasons. Some are actually looking for advice, they don't feel they can be open about their BDSM interests with their close friends or family. That's a shame, but how it is for many who are new and don't really have that part of themselves fully integrated into who they are to the point they can be "good" about it.

I try to give them the best advice I can. (No, it doesn't bother me, but it often makes me sad. For like, two minutes, I tend to be a strong I don't like to waste my time on useless emotions type.)

Then there are male subs who complain about the lack of fem doms, the pro doms, and the scammers. Yes, I find the bulk of these threads irritating, which is why I don't respond to most of them.

Then there are the trolls just trying to stir shit up b/c they are bored. I *love* these threads. They are the most fun, and I am here for entertainment as much as possible. Often the OP is fairly lame, but the other regular posters are so fun filled and many have a phenomenal sense or humor. I *hate* it when I miss the train wreck threads !!

How about the lame topic threads? Don't waste my time unless another poster is making it fun for me.

That brings us to the no topic I just want want fodder threads -- see above.

There is the I will advertise my kink or search for a partner in the intro thread -- see above.

The intro thread -- since I have to be nice, I often don't bother.

Lastly, there are the threads where regular posters bring each other up to date about their lives, or play games. I don't often post to these threads, though I have. Why? No special reason except my time on here is limited and I *can't* read and respond to every thread.

Are there other types of threads I have not mentioned? I'm sure there are, but frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Like the P & R section. I have posted there, but it's too acrimonious for me. I rarely even read those threads.

I can't believe I had to come back and do an edit to add this, but I am running on one cup of tea only this AM.

I LOVE the pics. Often I scan threads for the pics. It's become a ritual to share them with himself.

< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 7/2/2012 4:05:11 AM >

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 5:01:09 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I *hate* it when I miss the train wreck threads !!

I'll be happy to give you a heads up when I come across those types of threads. :D

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Post #: 7

RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 5:28:28 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

The last time I can remember being seriously annoyed was when I put a lot of time and effort into advising someone around her relationship with her long distance Dom only to find out much later on that she was living with her husband and children. Had I known the D was not her primary relationship, I would have taken a different approach.

It's the nature of discussion boards for new posters to bring up well traveled ground.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 5:34:37 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I appreciate the kind offer, but the only way you have of doing that is to cmail me, and I pay waaaaaaaaaaay less attention to my cmail.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 8:13:50 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

New posters don't generally annoy me, in fact I'll usually be the one answering well trod ground yet again in the hopes that the new guy/gal will get something out of it - I'm aware that there are a lot of lurkers about and it doesn't really go to waste to cover well trod ground again.

An aspect of new person posting that may annoy me however is when the new person, caught in the awesome brilliance of finding this part of themselves perhaps, proceeds to educate others on things that they know nothing about. To me that is fraudulent, and dangerous. So I guess the difference is making it obvious that one is new and offering their perspective- perfectly valid....or taking the attitude that because you've decided to try a thing on for size, now you may offer sage wisdom- not cool.

The second type of new person may inadvertently disguise the fact of their newness in presuming to speak on matters that are beyond the scope of their practice if they don't mention up front that they honestly don't know much about what they're talking about. Very misleading in any area of life when people instruct or advise but there is nothing to back up what they are saying. If you presume to offer information without giving a disclaimer, your audience generally thinks you have personal knowledge of that subject.

So to sum up my ramblings here, opinions are always relevant regardless of experience. Offering advice sets you up as having personal knowledge, and that should be reserved for people that DO have the experience. If you still choose to help or instruct, then letting your audience know your relative background with things is imperative. Why is it that people shop around for doctors, lawyers, car mechanics, counselors, teachers, etc? Because they want experience, and the knowledge that generally comes with it. I mean the stuff we talk about on this site has consequences, sometimes critical ones. Kind of glossing over one's experience level to me is tantamount to misleading others, which could end up hurting someone in a serious fashion. That isn't just annoying, it's dangerous.

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Post #: 10

RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 8:17:12 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

*snort* I wouldn't say that it gets on my nerves, but some posts are irritating when the poster in question has admitted zero experience and then proceeds to provide what they perceive as "advice" to those asking questions. It's usually a WTF? moment. :P

Especially, when it's unsafe advise. I don't care if you've been online for decades. If you haven't done any of this in real life.....you have NO experience, which means everything you say is just theory.

quote:

I don't pretend to know about everything because I don't!

I stay out of things I don't know. I don't go into the Gorean forum. I didn't comment on the "str8t male sub" thread.

I have no issue with people that don't have experience. We all started somewhere. But, when you have no experience and present yourself as someone that does.....you're a liar.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 8:28:24 AM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Does it get on your nerves when new users post...

Yes, especially when they are obvious socks and I see people responding to them seriously.

But that can be kinda fun too - because there's people here that have been around long enough to know the writing style of the poster / provide prior links, screenshots, etc -----> and then let the throwing of the rotten tomatoes begin.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 8:44:04 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Generally speaking, I'm more tolerant toward new folks. The exceptions are when someone who is brand new calls himself SupremeMasterSomething or thinks that being tough and calling all women "sluts" is proper protocol. Or someone into breath play and edge play who has no clue and doesn't care to learn.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 8:51:08 AM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

I have to admit that no one has gotten on my nerves for about a week now. Perhaps I am mellowing.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 8:55:29 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

The people behind the keyboard are real though, so there is some semblance of reality there. I can't completely dismiss everything online as "not real life". I'm just not going to let it override my real life.

I don't take anything online seriously. Until I've met someone face to face, they're just pixels on a screen.
Once I shut off my computer or even before that, I've already forgotten faces and names and what I typed. I don't give it another second's thought.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 7/2/2012 8:57:39 AM >

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 8:59:03 AM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Annoy me? No

Amuse me? Sometimes

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 9:03:53 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Fuck the newbies.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 9:03:53 AM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Generally speaking, I'm more tolerant toward new folks. The exceptions are when someone who is brand new calls himself SupremeMasterSomething or thinks that being tough and calling all women "sluts" is proper protocol. Or someone into breath play and edge play who has no clue and doesn't care to learn.

Steven - I have to agree.

The ones that bug me are the ones who claim they "know it all" - they claim theyve been a MASTER/DOM for a million and one years - yet their profile reads like theyve been rooted behind their keyboard in their moms basement (and only get out once a year for the local star wars convention). Then actually really DO hurt someone if they ever have a r/l experience. Thats one thing that really bothers me about bdsm porn - it just shows you clips and things pieced together and there are SOME people who watch that are too stupid to realize that isnt reality - then they want to go and try out what theyve seen without any knowledge about it at all.

And then theres the no-limit slaves looking for a death wish - or the ones that havent jerked off before posting and get all detailed up about what they want to have done to them - and of course, try to form it into some kind of question. Or the ones that have lost complete touch with reality and want to be caged 24/7 and just eat/drink shit and piss, then be gang banged twelve hours a day.

Whats sad, is that I know that that there has to be a certain percentage that actually DO MEAN IT.

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The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 9:13:57 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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No. It bothers me when idiots post.

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RE: Does it get on your nerves when new users post... - 7/2/2012 9:15:26 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

No. It bothers me when idiots post.

Damn, you must be pissed all the time!

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