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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 4:10:20 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lordlokahi

My sub and I are quite new to this.I am very demanding in the bedroom and am trying to get her insecurities gone.As we have begun to take this a step farther I am curious to see how far it could go.I welcome any feedback male or female as I am still learning to be a better dom


As far as she wants it to go.
I've been with Master for 6 years and we still find places he can push and can't push. It's not something you both just wake up one day and say AHA!! You both have a relationship, you communicate, you both learn together over time.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 7/2/2012 4:14:23 PM >

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 4:13:46 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lordlokahi

If you must know,I am new to this site,however I can trace my geneilogy back to ancient royalty in my ancestors land.I wear a symbol of lordship dating back to the 1800s.


Dude, the 1800's is modern, not ancient. I live in a house parts of which were built in the 1100's. 1800 is like... yesterday!

To your OP...

Where do you BOTH want to go?

There's a faint, and I'll admit, slightly creepy suggestion in your op that you're slightly dissociated... as if you're curious as to how far YOU could make HER go... I'm sure it's unintentional, but I thought I'd mention it.

From my POV... I wouldn't worry too much about where you're ultimately going to go... focus on where to go next. Wherever that is, I hope it's somewhere that both of you want to go.


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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 4:27:29 PM   
OsideGirl


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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml


quote:

ORIGINAL: lordlokahi

If you must know,I am new to this site,however I can trace my geneilogy back to ancient royalty in my ancestors land.I wear a symbol of lordship dating back to the 1800s.


Dude, the 1800's is modern, not ancient. I live in a house parts of which were built in the 1100's. 1800 is like... yesterday!

I can trace my lineage back to a signer of the Constitution, even that's older. (Actually, we can trace back to 1638, but they were just business men and farmers)


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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 4:34:39 PM   
crazyml


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Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I can trace my lineage back to a signer of the Constitution, even that's older. (Actually, we can trace back to 1638, but they were just business men and farmers)



Was it John Adams.... only he owed one of my ancestors two guineas at the outbreak of the war of independence, and my family never got the money.

I'd be happy to work out the interest you owe if it is him ;-)

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 4:51:40 PM   
OsideGirl


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From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I can trace my lineage back to a signer of the Constitution, even that's older. (Actually, we can trace back to 1638, but they were just business men and farmers)



Was it John Adams.... only he owed one of my ancestors two guineas at the outbreak of the war of independence, and my family never got the money.

I'd be happy to work out the interest you owe if it is him ;-)


It was not. Mine was the guy that was late because he kept stopping in taverns.


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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 5:33:29 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml


quote:

ORIGINAL: lordlokahi

If you must know,I am new to this site,however I can trace my geneilogy back to ancient royalty in my ancestors land.I wear a symbol of lordship dating back to the 1800s.


Dude, the 1800's is modern, not ancient. I live in a house parts of which were built in the 1100's. 1800 is like... yesterday!

I can trace my lineage back to a signer of the Constitution, even that's older. (Actually, we can trace back to 1638, but they were just business men and farmers)



Yea, on my mother's side, we can trace her paternal lineage back at least that far as well, although I don't think any of them got involved in signing the constitution.  That's pretty cool.  Although we can trace them back to Dutch chocolatiers (sp?), and possibly one of the Manson Family killers, lol.

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 6:08:20 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Although we can trace them back to Dutch chocolatiers (sp?), and possibly one of the Manson Family killers, lol.


I know I shouldn't be laughing over that combination......

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 6:42:03 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Welcome to the discussion side of CM.

As far as how far you can go? Well shesh, that is dependent on the two of you. Once you know someone well enough to push all the right buttons, you know, you push them. Then you pay serious attention to what happens.

If you have developed a good foundation of trust and understanding, you can have literally total control over someone, most especially during a "scene." Here's something important to remember: Just b/c you have total control over someone, doesn't mean you HAVE to use it.

Does this make sense?


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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 9:10:44 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We date back to the expulsion from Spain, 1492. No records prior to that.

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/2/2012 9:26:28 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a pig. I want, and demand, it all.
Anything short of everything and I'm an unsatisfied kitten

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/3/2012 5:06:57 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lordlokahi

I guess what I'm saying is I don't want this to destroy what we built together.We both have had our fair share of "winners" and we really want to make it work.With that said I don't want her to completely lose herself as that might ruin things.


Just keep up the communication.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/9/2012 8:31:54 PM   
BamaD


Posts: 20687
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Brilliant example!!!!

The operating room

< Message edited by BamaD -- 7/9/2012 8:36:21 PM >

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/9/2012 8:38:36 PM   
BamaD


Posts: 20687
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		The sub sets the limits you are suffering from the illusion of power she has granted you. Once she agrees to explorsomething you have control. It is her world, you just manage it.

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/9/2012 8:40:10 PM   
HypnoDomVentura


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/6/2011
Status: offline 		Depends, are we talking about with a full tank of gas?

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/10/2012 7:08:27 AM   
Brutalessons


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/3/2012
Status: offline 		The Glib answer is as far as she is able, and as far as you enable.
in a broader sense, one of the things I have learned over the years is That a Dom has to be willing and capable of "reading" the Needs of their sub in the Now and place that need in the context of their own. The biggest tool you have when dealing with perceived insecurities is Trust. If I could only offer one piece of advice to a new Dom it is to Learn to be worthy of Trust, maintain consistency and work on empathy skills. As she grows and evolves, the world of possibilities will open before you and her Gift of Submission will take on a depth and clarity that will astound you.

Do not be in a rush. Deal with one day at a time, watch Her grow under your Guidance... this is real, and you are building for the long term. ensure your foundation is solid.

Yes, I am not giving specifics, because every situation differs, every limit or like is unique. This is your journey, yours and hers. try not to rush to the finish line and savor the stops along the way.

(in reply to lordlokahi)
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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/10/2012 4:10:39 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Seems to me that you can only take her as far as you yourself are able. Its kind of one of those things that if you can't imagine it you can't build it - and vica versa.

If you know what you are doing, you can probably take her along for the ride. So , it would seem to me that you need to do your homework, learn new things and take them home.

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/10/2012 4:58:15 PM   
Brutalessons


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/3/2012
Status: offline 		Kiwi, that was one of the points I made in My "glib" response but you do hit on a key aspect, but under a bit of a flawed analogy. It is Me that Guides, so the Limits of that become My own limitations. However, as far as she can go can rarely be conceived at the onset of a relationship rather it is a leasning curve for both Dom and sub, regardless of experience levels. Entering in to this life, limited by Ones oen imagination or under the delusion that "Here" is the blueprint, and here is the end result will almost certainly end in disappointment for both as Both are capable of so much more.

This is not a Dog and Pony show where in a pedigreed ideal is pursued, (hold on, we have Puppies and ponies here, but I digress) rather we have an evolving and chaotic relationship that is charged by potential and limited only by Our wills (and physics on occasion).

I have yet to meet someone in this Life from whom I have not learned something from, and My eduction continues, hopefully right until I draw My last breath. Lordokahi, the OP is just beginning down this path and I do envy him the view from his fresh outlook.

Please note that in All My postings and ramblings these are My own musings and should be taken as such and not as the definitive answer, for which i doubt One exists.

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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/10/2012 6:22:21 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD

The sub sets the limits you are suffering from the illusion of power she has granted you. Once she agrees to explorsomething you have control. It is her world, you just manage it.


Why do you think dominants can't have limits also? Because you're wrong. I've asked him about things that he believes are unsafe for me and he'll turn me down flat. Not my choice, his.

But in a good relationship, it shouldn't be about my limits or his. We should overall have the same ones. If neither of us want to explore punching, then neither of us are limiting the other. We're compatible instead.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/22/2012 9:31:11 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jewboifag

i am a MALE slave/victim and want/need to be taken as far as YOU can go. How FAR are YOU,Master/Sadist, willing to go???



Dude, just stop. You're extremely unlikely to get the kind of thing that you want on the message boards. This part of the site is for people to chat about topics and such, it's not for hookups. Go try this on your profile, kindly leave us alone over here. No one gives a crap about your need.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: how far can I make my sub go?? - 7/22/2012 9:48:24 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lordlokahi

If you must know,I am new to this site,however I can trace my geneilogy back to ancient royalty in my ancestors land.I wear a symbol of lordship dating back to the 1800s.

I can trace my lineage back to Commodore John Barry but I don't call myself an Admiral. haha

NBMG

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