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RE: The good wife guide. - 7/5/2012 10:21:40 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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According to Snopes this is most likely a hoax. It's been undetermined but apparently there was never a magazine called Housekeeping Monthly until 1957. The article claims to be from 1955.

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp

Even if it is fake, I still do those things for Master or at least try. And yeah, where I grew up, that's what you were taught when I was younger and it's stuck with me to this day.

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Post #: 21

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 12:41:09 AM

ARIES83

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Awe, nice detective work.

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 7/6/2012 12:42:33 AM >

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RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 3:56:43 AM

DeviantlyD

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

You forgot #16. - Kick him in the nads when hes being an asshole.

I knew there was a reason I got divorced.

OMG!!! Between you, myotherself and the egg thread, I keep cracking up!!

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Post #: 23

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 6:34:22 AM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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I believe the original article appeared in Good Housekeeping or Redbook back in the 50s. It resurfaces every so often. Like anything else, there are good points and bad points. Such as not hitting your partner with all the crap of your day the second they walk in the door.

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Post #: 24

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 6:50:07 AM

LanaDeVille

Posts: 209
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassIsInSession

Clearly times have changed. Of course when that was written there were no cell phones. It does translate well into modern submissive habits.

I agree, a text, or better a quick call would be respectful and keep the worry demons away.

I think it's interesting though that when those rules were more common place, the divorce rate was much lower too.

I do hope that your bottom statement isn't implying that this is necessarily a better way for people today to live.

The reason the divorce rate was much lower was because back then, divorce was enough to make you the talk of the town. It was a social taboo. And even if your marriage sucked, which wasn't unusual then (it was just kept hush hush), you put up with it. Not to mention that if you were a housewife your opportunities were more limited, so you had better stay married or you were SOL.

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Post #: 25

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 8:04:53 AM

wolf223

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Actually I have most of this as this foward in a old cookbook.
My grandmother gave it too me a long time ago.

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Post #: 26

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 8:25:27 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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I love threads like this.

I truly look forward to seeing replies from pessimistic man-haters with a chip on their shoulder. Women that carry their pain from some past experience, seeing them cling to bad emotional luggage like a traveler in an airport baggage claim turns me on. It's the scent of their pain that hypnotizes me like a fish staring at a shiny lure. Their lost little girl foot stamping tirades are like chum in the water for this sadistic ol' shark and I look forward to seeing the content of the OP berated in as many silly ways as possible. . . . . er . . . I mean, I truly respect independent thinking liberal women and look forward to them sharing their modern views on the antiquated concepts in the OP.

Today I started the day like a king. I woke to the the sexual affections of my girl, then I asked, "have you had your spankings yet today?" . . . she cooked breakfast while I cleared out the cross and BDSM gear from last night's needles play and she is doing dishes as I write this. In a few minutes I am going to put her in the shower and wash that girl spanky clean. I love the OP and firmly believe that if you want your partner to hold their place in a relationship, you should hold yours.

A good wife always knows her place and . . . Women: Know Your Limits!

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Post #: 27

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 8:37:55 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanaDeVille

quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassIsInSession

Clearly times have changed. Of course when that was written there were no cell phones. It does translate well into modern submissive habits.

I agree, a text, or better a quick call would be respectful and keep the worry demons away.

I think it's interesting though that when those rules were more common place, the divorce rate was much lower too.

I do hope that your bottom statement isn't implying that this is necessarily a better way for people today to live.

The reason the divorce rate was much lower was because back then, divorce was enough to make you the talk of the town. It was a social taboo. And even if your marriage sucked, which wasn't unusual then (it was just kept hush hush), you put up with it. Not to mention that if you were a housewife your opportunities were more limited, so you had better stay married or you were SOL.

I agree with this.

Even in the mid-60s divorce was much less of a stigma.

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 7/6/2012 8:39:29 AM >

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Post #: 28

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 9:03:41 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassIsInSession

I think it's interesting though that when those rules were more common place, the divorce rate was much lower too.

What is also interesting is how many of those women used various potions, booze, chemical means..........to cope with their lives.

In similar publications of old........read the adds some time. Lots of 'nerve tonics' and the like.

And ya, in the 60's my mother-in-law got herself addicted to valium and vodka, to cope with her husband that expected all of the crap in the OP.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/6/2012 9:06:55 AM >

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Post #: 29

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 9:05:51 AM

LadyHibiscus

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The divorce rate was lower because it was very very difficult for women to get divorces, and survive financially after them.

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RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 9:08:47 AM

LanaDeVille

Posts: 209
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassIsInSession

I think it's interesting though that when those rules were more common place, the divorce rate was much lower too.

What is also interesting is how many of those women used various potions, booze, chemical means..........to cope with their lives.

In similar publications of old........read the adds some time. Lots of 'nerve tonics' and the like.

I really like the 1950's when it comes to the fashion, music, and past times. However, it really bothers me when people idealize that era. It wasn't "Happy Days" for everyone. =P

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Post #: 31

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 9:14:22 AM

LaTigresse

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Anyone I've talked to that was in their teens and/or twenties during the 50's, says it was not the 'Happy..' time the media portrays.

Considering how screwed up both of my parents are, it didn't do them any favours.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 32

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 9:26:49 AM

GreedyTop

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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I agree with LaT... even the early 60s were the NOT so happy days. Mom was an outcast for quite a while for divorcing my "fly boy" father in 65. Late 60s onwards, she was considered a feminist in some circles, and other, more perjorative things, in other circles. All because she decided she was NOT going to be the "perfect wife" to an errant husband.

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Post #: 33

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 9:46:37 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

I found this on the net somewhere, can't
remember where.
I think the person said its from a actual guide
for new wives in the 1950's or something similar.
I can just picture them handing this type of stuff
out to girls in school after baking class haha.

This an article from Good Housekeeping circa May 1955.

quote:

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a
delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting
him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his
needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a
good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

I usually start dinner at 5:30pm when I close up shop. He usually gets home between 5:45pm and 6pm. So, dinner isn't ready, but it's on its way.

quote:

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed
when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be
fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

I generally make myself presentable in the morning. Unless I've been doing something heavy duty during the day, I don't do this.

quote:

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

We've always had a relationship where we enjoy talking to each other. I see no need to force "gay and interesting".

quote:

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of
the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the
table.

I run a load of dishes and dust the living room in the afternoon during slow times.

quote:

5. During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a
fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven
of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering
to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Master views making fire as his role.

quote:

6. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise
of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

I vacuum during the day, The washer and dryer are in the garage and we have a super quiet dishwasher. Clearly times have changed.

quote:

7. Be happy to see him.

Of course I am, he's the love of my life.

quote:

8. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

I meet him in the hallway with a kiss and hello.

quote:

9. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him,
but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first -
remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Meh. That's up to him sometimes his question is asking me how my day was. He controls how that goes.

quote:

10. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

See #9

quote:

11. Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all
night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through
at work.

Late for dinner by 30 minutes....fine. More than that, I'm not very happy. If he'd stayed out all night and didn't call, we'd be having a serious talk about respect and making me worry.

quote:

12. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or
lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

He sits in the living room and I get him a drink.

quote:

13. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

I do take his boots off, but I doubt I have a low soothing voice.

quote:

14. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment
or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will
always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no
right to question him.

He firmly believes that if I questions or doubts I should discuss them with him rather than bottling it up inside and having it fester.

quote:

15. A good wife always knows her place.

On a beach in Fiji?

I work from home and own my own business, so these things are much easier because I have flexibility. When I working for someone else, it was quite different.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/6/2012 10:08:18 AM >

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Post #: 34

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 10:23:27 AM

JanahX

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Doing some reading on 1950's family values, some of the reasons (which btw, were some of the leading factors that led to the feminist movement -not withstanding "the pill in the 1960's) that women were so repressed into thinking that this list was the way to a happy home - was because many things that we now take for granted were not in place then, and what little were, were not commonly used.

1. Domestic Violence - there were no domestic violence shelters, families kept quiet about it due to embarrassment, it really was not recognized by the courts/police. So in other words - if they had a husband that was prone to violence and she ticked him off - he could beat the shit out of her and there was little recourse she could take.
In the 1950's - Some states WERE allowing no-fault divorce.But before 1970, divorce was relatively uncommon and difficult to get. Fault was usually required-one of the spouses must have committed a crime or sin that justified the divorce. There needed to be adultery, abandonment, cruelty, intoxication or some other reason that made it necessary to end the marriage.

2. In some states women could not make contracts, including wills. They also could not sell property and in many cases they could not control their own earnings. All of these were the legal right of the woman's husband or father.

3. Rape within the marriage - In almost every state, men had the right to have sex with their wife any time they wanted to, with or without her consent. There was, in other words, no such thing as rape if a couple was married, and any form of birth control was still illegal in many places. The combination of these two meant that a woman was almost legally obligated to have children if her husband wanted them.

4. At the end of WWII - women were forced out of the workplace and back into the home. So thus burdened by children (little birth control options) and they were dependant on their husbands income. There were few earnable income jobs for women at that time - and the rate of pay was not enough to live off of.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What I really think makes the good wife guide null and void is that 70 percent of U.S. women now work outside the home. I know that when I wake up at six and get home by six - the last thing I want to do is kiss anyone's ass. I dont know about any of you, but Im pretty wiped the fuck out at the end of the day.

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Post #: 35

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 12:19:32 PM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
That sounds kind of reminiscent of the crap in the book Fascinating Womanhood written by Helen Andelin in 1963. So if the woman is working also to bring home a paycheck, do all those suggestions apply equally to men? Yeah, I didn't think so.
NBMG

Truly this proves that "one man's trash is another man's treasure". Thank you for the link, even if her concepts are not in your scope of appreciation. I plan to buy that book and Man of Steel and Velvet. I am not a religious man, but appreciate works like this as if they meant to say this is "the natural order" instead of "god's way". I will add these books to the same group of books I keep The Surrendered Wife and The Ethical Slut.

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Post #: 36

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 12:22:54 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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See, RS, this is why I keep telling you, I would never fit your cage... *sigh*

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Post #: 37

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 12:55:43 PM

ResidentSadist

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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
See, RS, this is why I keep telling you, I would never fit your cage... *sigh*

I think I finally see your point. If you are locked in the cage you couldn't:

Have dinner ready. Prepare yourself and kneel by the door with a cane in your mouth when I arrive. Be a little gay (actually I suspect you are little bisexual whether in or out of the cage). Clear away the clutter. Light a fire and etc.

That's it isn't it? You secretly want to be my June Cleaver dutifully attending to the home and my personal pleasures. Well, you already know I feel the same way about you. I want to take care of you, guide you in your manner of dressing and the way present yourself to others. I want to protect you from the world and all the evil influences in it by keeping you in that cage. No ill mannered progressively thinking people - books or movies can get in there and warp your sweet mind. And when you are allowed out, you are on tight leash so as not stray into unknown influences that might inspire free thinking or independent thought of any kind. Yup, I have always wanted you as my brainwashed prisoner . . . er . . . I mean 50s household partner.

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Post #: 38

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 12:57:00 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I love you, RS!! You make me laugh down to my toes!!!

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Post #: 39

RE: The good wife guide. - 7/6/2012 1:45:40 PM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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One the funny things is that there is no list of the things the husbands did to keep the women happy, and some things did exist. The whole "be pretty for him when he comes home," the men realized they were going to pay for those weekly salon visits and new dresses so she could look pretty. Sure there were men who were assholes then, just like today, but men also knew they needed to treat a woman like a lady and behave like a gentleman if they were ever going to get her to marry them. It was their job to provide for the family.

In a single income household, I firmly believe the one not working outside the home (that doesn't include you Oside, you work from home, but still "outside" the home in a sense), should be responsible for keeping the house clean, laundry done, dinner ready, blah blah blah.

Like most things, I find good and bad in the list. Be ok with him staying out all night without calling? Bullshit, it's disrespectful, I don't care what your dynamic is.

Dinner on the table? I'm one of those who thinks whoever is home earliest should get things started. If that isn't the couples' agreement that's fine, but if the "man" gets home at 3 in the afternoon, and the "woman" doesn't get home until 5:30, his ass better not be complaining how hungry he is, since the time difference makes it impossible to start dinner before one even gets home.

I think everyone should take a moment to look nice for their partner. That includes the guy who is a mechanic washing his hands and face before leaving work and maybe coming in and jumping right in the shower so he doesn't smell like gas and motor oil and sweat.

Of course people should talk, but neither should hit the other with the "crap" of their day the second one walks in the door unless absolutely necessary. Take a moment to say hello, give each other a kiss and simply unwind. Save the bitching about how both your days went for a little while later, like over coffee after a nice pleasant dinner.

Make a fire? for me, why don't you just say, "burn down the house? I don't start fires (well anyway), I don't light grills, I don't kill the bugs or take out the trash. Thems is men's work. Of course, I also can't lift the wood or the trash, and the bugs scare me too much to kill them, lol.

Right now, my son (by miracle of God) has been coming over and helping with the housework. I've been too sick, and he finally realized that a lot of it I just can't do.

His topics are always more important? Total bullshit. Even in a dynamic, he may decided what is talked about and who talks first, but that doesn't mean what he has to say is more important. I know many men who have nothing of importance to say. Sadly, I think most of them have written to me here over the years, lol.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 40

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