punishment...but we havent met (Full Version)

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daddeesgurl1 -> punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 4:45:42 PM)

Again, let me state the discussion board wouldn't let me sign on with my original name, had to make another to post. I have this daddy who made it thru the first few emails (yay!) And pretty sure we're on our way to meeting soon, see how we like each other. My question is, I was having a tough couple days...he asked what was wrong, to lay it out there. I explained I keep to myself (a fault of mine, I know) when stressed. He said that was alright, but that I could still spill. Well its financial, so I won't say so in fear of him thinking I'm hinting for $$ which is NOT why I'm here. He told me that my dominant side has to come down while with him. Which I understand. So he told me my punishment was to strip and stand in the corner on my toes, and fingertips to the wall for 5 mins. But we haven't even met, is it just me or is this guy asking too much, we've only been emailing a lil for 10 days. He's not my daddy yet.



littlewonder -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 4:49:58 PM)

Personally I would have laughed at the guy and said, well have a nice life!



OsideGirl -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 4:51:16 PM)

This man is a stranger to you. Until you've met face to face and have an agreement with him, he has no right to distribute punishment. I'll also say that whatever you're going through is none of his business yet. I'll even go so far as to say that he's not in the position to tell you what to do with your "dominant side".

I'd tell him that his expectations are out of line. Even on the first meeting, I'd tell him that. Until you have agreed to a dynamic/relationship, he doesn't get to decide anything that happens with you.



Phoenixpower -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 4:55:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Personally I would have laughed at the guy and said, well have a nice life!



yep, thats what I did, too, in such cases...am not a freebie wank fodder for such a twat[8|]



daddeesgurl1 -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 5:05:15 PM)

Thanks, sometimes I overreact so I needed some support.



EllenofTroy -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 5:12:53 PM)

You're not over reacting at all. Life is difficult and I'm sorry you're having issues. That being said, wouldn't it had been nice if "that guy" would have offered you at least a cyber hug instead of instant punishment over something that is emotionally upsetting you? For me that's a trust breaker for someone to want to more or less "play" when I'm upset. Give adivice, give a hug if I'm in the mood, but to punish for feeling out of sorts? Before trust is established? I wish you well and hope all works out for you and that you meet someone caring.



OsideGirl -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 5:16:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EllenofTroy

You're not over reacting at all. Life is difficult and I'm sorry you're having issues. That being said, wouldn't it had been nice if "that guy" would have offered you at least a cyber hug instead of instant punishment over something that is emotionally upsetting you? For me that's a trust breaker for someone to want to more or less "play" when I'm upset. Give adivice, give a hug if I'm in the mood, but to punish for feeling out of sorts? Before trust is established? I wish you well and hope all works out for you and that you meet someone caring.


This is a very good point too. I don't know if I'd want to be with someone that punished me for having emotions or not being ready to share my feelings yet.



DarkSteven -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 5:20:39 PM)

He blew it. He forced you to either go along, or else pretty much kill the relationship right now. If you still want to keep it going, you can reply with, "I'm not comfortable with you being in a position to discipline me just yet. Could we hold off on that?" But he just hurt things badly.

1. Premature, as the others said.
2. Five minutes on tiptoes? That's extreme IMO.
3. Having you strip for a punishment misses the point. Sex should never enter into a punishment - it screws up the focus.

It's up to you whether you want to continue. But I'd move on.



lizi -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 6:37:19 PM)

You don't really know him yet, your business is yours. There are important things in our lives that we choose to share with others when we get to the point of trusting them, if trust isn't established yet then we keep such things to ourselves. Trust generally takes time. Think of the people who come off as odd when they overshare. It's a good thing to have boundaries in place, in my opinion, and to take a gradual road to letting them down with certain people. He seems insecure to me that he basically insisted that you share, so he's not paying attention to your boundaries - a huge red flag to me.

It sounds to me like he wanted to give himself a thrill and maybe a wank session later at the thought of having you do something that pushed his buttons. Having you strip was a big clue for that.

Him telling you that your Dominant side has to come down with him is weird because you're not with him yet. Once upon a time I had a friendship on here with a Dominant guy that i would chat with now and then. It was always kind of a running thing that if he weren't a country away that we'd have tried something together, but we liked the friendship and the undercurrent of attraction, and it was nice. Once he asked me if I wanted to play online, I thought it over and said yes, I'd like that. So he asked again formally if I'd submit to him for this interaction. And I said yes, I would. The point here is that he knows I was not 'his' submissive and I knew it too, and we arranged temporarily to bypass that for the one time. And it was fun. This guy you're talking about assuming that he's got something in the bag before he's found out if he's got it.



HisPet21 -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 7:08:01 PM)

quote:

This man is a stranger to you. Until you've met face to face and have an agreement with him, he has no right to distribute punishment. I'll also say that whatever you're going through is none of his business yet. I'll even go so far as to say that he's not in the position to tell you what to do with your "dominant side".


My thoughts exactly. He doesn't get power over you just because he calls himself a "dominant" and you call yourself a "submissive." You have to give him that power, and if he takes it without a formal power dynamic being established, he has no sense of boundaries. Drop this guy. There are hundreds of others, much better suited to you, who are dying for a chance to meet a sub girl.



littlewonder -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 8:22:12 PM)

He would have been better off being a friend to you and saying he would listen to you and try to give you advice if that's what you wanted. But instead he took to situation and decided to run with it thinking you would fall for it.

I mean if my Master punished me for having emotions over a problem, I'd be always punished! LOL Instead, he tends to listen to me and we try to solve the problem together or he just fixes it himself if he can.

In your situation, he's not your Dom. He's just pixels on a screen. You will have many many many experiences like this on here if you let yourself get caught up in the fantasy in your head.



JanahX -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 8:29:02 PM)

Thank your lucky stars that you havent met him yet. What a creep.

Run for the woods -

Question -has he asked you for any pics or camming where youve sexually compromised yourself? I think I already know the answer to this -



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 9:31:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddeesgurl1
He told me that my dominant side has to come down while with him. Which I understand. So he told me my punishment was to strip and stand in the corner on my toes, and fingertips to the wall for 5 mins. But we haven't even met, is it just me or is this guy asking too much, we've only been emailing a lil for 10 days. He's not my daddy yet.

I bolded certain parts because they are key, in that it means he has NO business telling you what to do.
1. He has NO business telling you what to do with your Dominant side because he is NOT your Dom.
2. He had no business punishing you in the first place. He is NOT your Dom.
3. Even if he was your Dom, by telling you to stand in the corner naked, he is mixing sexual thrills with punishment. Bad idea. Real punishment is not supposed to be fun or thrilling.
4. Yes, he IS asking too much. He's expecting control over you when he is NOT your Dom. Unless I'm mistaken, there is NO agreed-upon dynamic in place yet.
5. Were it me, I would move on. He f*cked up, plain and simple.

NBMG



LafayetteLady -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 10:48:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Personally I would have laughed at the guy and said, well have a nice life!



^this is great^

Never be afraid to tell some jerk on the internet you haven't met and haven't made an agreement with what an asshat he is being.  He will probably get pissed, but who cares?  He's proving himself and asshat, and being submissive doesn't mean you obey anyone who puts "master," "lord," "sir" or "dominant" in their name.



sexyred1 -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 10:53:00 PM)

Why would someone even need to ask strangers about this?

Who would you do anything for a stranger you have only chatted with and never met?

Punishment? From a a stranger?

I honestly do not get this.



daddeesgurl1 -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 10:53:43 PM)

Janahx~ no nothing like that at all. I don't do that ever.


I was surprised becuz I pass up so many other obvious players, every single day. This guy has stuck around for longer then most guys can handle. Just that he asked what was upsetting me, I told him I tend to keep to myself when stressed, so he then reminded me I was here to give up my dominance, and I was showing my dominance by not doing as I was asked and tell him....and this had nothing to do with sex.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 11:06:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: daddeesgurl1
he then reminded me I was here to give up my dominance, and I was showing my dominance by not doing as I was asked and tell him....and this had nothing to do with sex.

But...but...but...WHY should you even think about giving up anything for him, since he's NOT your Daddy/Dom? I thought you were just there to get to know him at that point. Some of those online Doms just kill me. They want instant submission and any sub with a brain should know better than to fall for that shit.

NBMG



LafayetteLady -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/7/2012 11:33:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddeesgurl1

Janahx~ no nothing like that at all. I don't do that ever.


I was surprised becuz I pass up so many other obvious players, every single day. This guy has stuck around for longer then most guys can handle. Just that he asked what was upsetting me, I told him I tend to keep to myself when stressed, so he then reminded me I was here to give up my dominance, and I was showing my dominance by not doing as I was asked and tell him....and this had nothing to do with sex.


Not sharing your financial woes/issues with someone you haven't met has nothing to do with dominance.  He is a jackass, and clueless.



daddeesgurl1 -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/8/2012 12:21:26 AM)

Yeah I thbought so too. Just tired of talking to the endless parade of guys that want no connection, just sex.



LafayetteLady -> RE: punishment...but we havent met (7/8/2012 12:28:00 AM)

Well that covers about 80% of the male population.



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