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-=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 8:50:51 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		If you go to yelowpages.com, type in "Dom Depot", get the listings back (click for link) and click on the 7th one for the closest the local Home Depot without noticing anything is wrong . . . until you realize that Home Depot is further down the page than Dom's Salvatore's Home Imprvmt and Dom's Barber Shop" (I'm gonna' have to go check them out) . . . you might be twisted.

This struck me as an indicator my life isn't so straight and narrow when I don't notice a silly thing like that right off the bat. Similar to a friend's story about visiting Bed Bath & Beyond, looking through the kitchenware and daydreaming about what a nice pervertable paddle that giant wooden serving spoon would make. Finally a salesman asked, "can I help you" and they realized they had been petting the damn spoon for 5 minutes.

Do you find yourself day dreaming in the hardware store, make verbal errors in vanilla situations or other things that are clear indicators you are twisted? Do share with us your 'might be twisted if' story.

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 8:56:51 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		i just am twisted, and everyone around me knows it without me doing much at all.

needles

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 8:59:01 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		I have to say, when I'm doing paperwork at the office and we have a grant "submission," it always seems weird to me to see that word used in that way.

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 9:00:36 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I thought I was twisted for wanting sex after watching "Saw."

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 9:02:38 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I often glaze over and fall into a frozen trance like state when shopping at Home Depot, acting like Homer Simpson in a donut shop.

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 9:03:07 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I thought I was twisted for wanting sex after watching "Saw."



Aagh! You are! :) I can't even look at the box, never mind watch the movie.

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 11:21:12 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I often glaze over and fall into a frozen trance like state when shopping at Home Depot, acting like Homer Simpson in a donut shop.

I know what you mean. I just got back and it was hard not to bring the whole store home with me.

1 - while looking at the # 4 wood threaded screw eye hooks, I realized that if I screwed them into the door frames, I could turn every doorway in my house into a bondage play station. (click)

2 - I did daydream about Trap Door Ring (click) being used as a recessed service ring to fasten a slave chain to. I liked it so much I bought it and I'm cutting out the plasterboard for the recess and using deck screws into a stud to fasten it to the wall. Not quite the marine grade Recessed D-ring tiedown but it was a suitable substitute.

3 - I was in the wood stain department dreaming about tearing apart my cross, sanding it down, staining it a different color and replacing all the hardware and screw eyes with brass ones.

Home Depot is Dom Depot . . . I love that place.






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I give good thread.

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 6:18:48 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		You might be twisted if you refuse to wear a collared shirt to work, based on the premise that Dom(me)s don't wear collars.

(Is that strange?)


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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 7:24:49 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The Man runs a home improvement business. A client called up frantic because her new home had water infiltration issues. The shape of this house prevented using a ditchwitch or a backhoe to open up the foundation and seal it. So he rented this sort of mini jackhammer made by Hitachi. It vibrated its way through the soil. For the past two weeks we've made every Hitachi Magic Wand joke you could think of.

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 7:35:35 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		I was at a local dollar store and saw a few wire plant hangars. I wondered if they'd be fun toys & whacked my thigh with it. *ouch* So I did it again. *ow*. I bought the remaining 3 there. (It leaves delicious welts on tender bits.)

Oh, and no, I do not have any plants, btw.

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/8/2012 9:11:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		when you are reading something and you see the words twisted around as bdsm words and then you have to read it again because you realize it didn't make sense with the sentence or paragraph.


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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/9/2012 1:31:14 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		when the temp agency places you into a business with the letters "b" "d" "s" in their acronym, you have to remind yourself to insert the additional letters appropriately, and not add an "m" at the end!

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/9/2012 5:09:23 AM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		when you go to garage sale and see 2 towels with the monogram D s and you buy them even though they don't match your bathroom color scheme.

may we all find our bliss.



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may we all find our bliss

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We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/9/2012 10:13:46 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		When you see a place called "S&M Amusements" and have to pull over and take pictures for your profile.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/9/2012 11:22:56 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		When you have to resist the urge to take a picture of this aisle at Home Depot:



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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/9/2012 11:39:02 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		When you always type kind as kink and don't always catch it to change it.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/9/2012 12:22:17 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		If you're fucking vanilla and boring. Yay for alternative lifestyle!!



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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/9/2012 12:29:22 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		You submit a University engineering report on "Cyclic Stress loading in dragonwood canes"

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/9/2012 2:09:09 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		when you see a pair of shoes that have ties the whole way up the leg and they remind you of him wrapping you in rope or they have links on them that he could possibly lock together.

When you see jewelry that could be used in the same way or that remind you of slave jewelry such as the toe anklet bracelets.

When I see stuff with a K monogram on them and you want to buy it but people would wonder who K is in our house since neither of our names start with a K. lol



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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/15/2012 9:23:22 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		The scene:
You are in the middle of Florida ranch country on an old back road at a rustic old general store that stuck a modern filling station/car wash/donut shop on the side of it. Pondering the shopping options between the two sides I noticed you could buy a spool of rope, a crop, bull whip, service rings, caging, hay, shock collars, saddles, leashes, bridles, bits, clips, ice, drinks and candy. Everything you need for a great play session from the gear to the aftercare.

The girl:
An olive skinned beauty in cowboy boots and cowboy hat. She has big plump DDs wrapped in a country shirt tied in front instead of buttoned (no bra). Her narrow waist is exposed and and it looks like the artist Michelangelo has sculpted her abs and belly button. She turns to reveal a big round Arabic belly dancer's ass wrapped in a pair of low cut jeans. Seriously, she is sooooooooo hot, she made my mind wonder. I thought about asking her to help me pick out a riding crop by letting me test it on her big round ass.

My thoughts:
I could not for the life of me understand what that fine ethnic Middle Eastern ass was doing out here in the middle of this narrow ass white-bread rancher cowgirl country. But I accept life's little mysteries. Then we left the store and she pulled out first. I spent the next 15 miles following her while staring at this exact bumper sticker:

I cannot tell you in detail all the images that bumper sticker brought to mind, but I can tell you it didn't involve her having sex with humans. Is it just me, am I the only one twisted in this case?

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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