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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/17/2012 4:39:44 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		What do you mean 'if'?

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/17/2012 5:28:38 PM   
kitkat105


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline 		You snort laugh when you find out your cousin is reading 50 shades and finds it "addictive".




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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 12:33:03 PM   
SpankableMick


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/17/2012
Status: offline 		If everything that is penis shaped either makes you want to masterbate or horney

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 2:38:26 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		when your daughter's initials are "S/M" and with her middle name included it's "SAM".

No, I did not do it on purpose!! I swear!!

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RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 3:00:43 PM   
ElsieIsme


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline 		You consider laying 'noisy' flooring so your boots make better noises ;-)


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 3:07:38 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		when Master says "there's no place to tie you up in your apartment" and you make sure that when the lease is up that it's a priority for the next place.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 3:16:59 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		When you're buying a silicone spatula and husband's idea of trying it out is surreptitiously trying to smack different parts of your body on the way up to the registers.



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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 3:31:21 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		you get that too huh? I think I'm gonna ban Master from shopping with me for now on. hehe

Somehow, someway I end leaving the store with little marks and bruises on me....dunno how it happens.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 7/19/2012 3:32:03 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 4:01:47 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		you do a massive double take when a friend says that she's going to try cbt on her son

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 4:05:53 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you go to yelowpages.com, type in "Dom Depot", get the listings back (click for link) and click on the 7th one for the closest the local Home Depot without noticing anything is wrong . . . until you realize that Home Depot is further down the page than Dom's Salvatore's Home Imprvmt and Dom's Barber Shop" (I'm gonna' have to go check them out) . . . you might be twisted.

This struck me as an indicator my life isn't so straight and narrow when I don't notice a silly thing like that right off the bat. Similar to a friend's story about visiting Bed Bath & Beyond, looking through the kitchenware and daydreaming about what a nice pervertable paddle that giant wooden serving spoon would make. Finally a salesman asked, "can I help you" and they realized they had been petting the damn spoon for 5 minutes.

Do you find yourself day dreaming in the hardware store, make verbal errors in vanilla situations or other things that are clear indicators you are twisted? Do share with us your 'might be twisted if' story.


Love this one...local Seattle girl:

http://www.taxdomme.com/

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/19/2012 4:18:37 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		At recent gay pride festival - there was a T-shirt in the exact Home Depot Orange.  Logo had been lifted and turned into "Homo Depot."  When a friend wore shirt to local HD, he was besieged with questions.  Funny thing, he answered them all. LOL!

One fine Friday night, the sub and I had a legit reason to go to HD.  Around the corner comes a Master/slave pair and we all say "slut" at the same moment. 

Here's one that I can share with all you straight kinksters:  How 'bout a wedding in the store?  "Register" for gifts ahead of time.  Cut the cake with a saw, you get the idea.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 1:54:46 PM   
SpankableMick


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/17/2012
Status: offline 		You might be twisted if you take a pool ball stick it in a kneehigh stocking then have stuffed it in your vagina.
First time it was done to me was by a Dom I was playing when he yanked it out I squirted like rain

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 2:04:50 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		You might be twisted if you're showing a house to a client and while in the basement immediately start thinking where you'd put the horse, St Andrews Cross and other apparatus you could build if you were the buyer instead of the agent.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 2:25:47 PM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		You might be twisted if when your buddy doing concrete work at his house, shows you the concrete vibrator he got from harbor freight and you think Hmmmmm not too big to fit ,wonder what that would feel like.

And if you are going to the harbor freight website now . . .

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 3:05:13 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		if only I were more obvious about my twistedness in those public places and in vanilla situations.. maybe I would have a boyfriend by now!!!

I think about building a dream house with a secret hidden deluxe sex room with all the things I would want in it..

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 4:51:59 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		You might be twisted if....

You are watching a mediocre movie, a main character is hiding under a bed (from the bad guys) with a fatally shot but VERY hot young woman, who is trying to be quiet. They are staring into one another's eyes, she makes a very slight gasp moan, he touches her lips with his finger and continues to stare into her eyes as she dies.......and somehow you find that intimate moment hot enough to be the most memorable moment of the whole fucking movie.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 7:02:48 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		You might be twisted if...

You're at an Asian Buffet and head over to the sushi station and see the dishes of ginger & wasabi and think "What a waste of ginger & lube." (And grab a coupla extra sets of chopsticks for "after dinner" nipple torture.)



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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 7:27:53 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		You might be twisted if you have resisted buying "50 shades of gray" since you've heard it's (a) mommy porn and/or (b) abusive.  (A) Been there, done that - obi-wan-kenobi balls for Kegels - give me a break and/or (B) sure hope to HELL it isn't abuse.



_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 7:30:27 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		You might be twisted that when the waitress brings your iced tea and is showing cleavage, you think "Wonder how her nipples would react to an ice cube or two?"

Actually thought that at lunch today.... and me, a gay man. Tsk, tsk.  Does that make me really twisted?

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: -=You might be twisted if . . . =- - 7/27/2012 7:51:15 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		. . . when you get all hot and bothered watching two long lean sweaty fellas lay carpet [hah!] in heavy-duty kneepads and knee-kickers

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"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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Profile   Post #: 40
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