Kana
Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
|
OK, OK, teach me to make specious generalizations and paint with a broad brush-I should have said Many vanilla relationships.
The reason I say this is because the way our TPE is run there's no need to hold anything back. If I have an issue with something it's straight out put on the table and promptly dealt with.
Why wouldn't it be?
She's my slave. I own her. So there's no need to let anything fester.
This has the happy side effect that she always knows exactly where she stands. 99.99% of the time I'm delighted with her...and she knows it.
How?
She ain't getting a consequence.
When I'm displeased she is either receiving a consequence or in that awful, awful period between screwing up and receiving absolution.
But there's no ambiguity.
She doesn't have to wonder how I feel, where she stands, if I'm holding anything back-instead she can be absolutely confident that she stands in my good graces and that all is wonderful with us.
Which is cool...and it allows for an amazing freedom and sharing within the dynamic.
In contrast, I don't see this wide openness in a lot of nilla relationships. I always have friends who wonder (I'm that advice guy-you know, we all have that buddy everyone asks for feedback, gets guidance from-that's me. Don't know why I am, or exactly HTF I got the job, but that's one of the roles in my life, it seems) how their spouse/partner feels, speculate on what's going on with the other, aren't sure of exactly what ground they stand on...with resultant nueuroticisms, insecurities and occasionally downright odd behaviors/arguments.
3 side comments
1-Mons-maybe its not just that she loves me so much, but that I love her equally in return that drives that trust you miss.
2-In case anyone is wondering, or thinks I am biased, I come from a great family with parents who have a spectacular relationship-as in I've never heard em raise their voices in anger at each other, they walk though life together, they are best friends, soul mates, partners and basically made for each other...and my siblings are equally great.
3-Lets be very very clear here. I hate the concept of punishment. When I do mete out consequences it ain't a fun thing, for me or her. It disturbs our dynamic, interrupts the flow of my wa and leaves us both with emotional hangovers, which are no fucking fun.
I don't understand the obsession with punishment or why anyone would want it to be a big part of their scene.
But at the same time, these things are necessary.
I liken it to oiling a gun or tuning up a car or another piece of fine machinery. If I have this thing and don't regularly maintain it, it's gonna no longer work at tiptop 100% efficiency. But if I do the regular work, it's gonna serve me well for a long time, operating as intended, performing the functions that I got it for.
She's the same way.
Using consequences keeps things in line, prevents deviations, makes sure things remain on course.
Or, if you would prefer a different analogy, it's kinda like being at work. We all have a boss (Even self employed folks work for someone-that's who pays the bills) who has many roles, but one of his foremost purposes is to maximize efficiency and output while making sure all company guidelines and standards are met.
They do this through a regular system of rewards and consequences.
You know, like economists say all people are motivated.
So think of these things as routine maintenance instead of something horrific-Kana taking good care of his most valued possession.
Chortles
In fact, I can make a real strong argument that by laying out consequences, doing the little things to keep our relationship on track I am investing in her as well as us, and demonstrating my great love and affection for her by doing so.
So in a weird roundabout way, the best way for me to show my affection is to hold her feet to the fire, to help her be the best woman, slave and person that she can be...and failure to do so is me failing her at the basest levels.
Kinda like that asshole teacher you hated so much, who returned your papers over and over, demanding (The gall) that you reach your highest potential and not skimp on self-you know, that coach you loathed then and thank now, the one who taught you more, better, than anyone else
But hey, that's JMHO and all.
< Message edited by Kana -- 7/10/2012 10:53:34 PM >
_____________________________
"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST
|
RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 
Profile
>
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread