Privacy Etiquette (Full Version)

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pinkee -> Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 10:29:21 AM)

IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal.
 
What's Y/your opinion?  (Please reference mistoferin's Op on "witch hunts".)
 
pinkee
 
 



mnottertail -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 10:30:18 AM)

Not the law of the United States, exactly......why should it be different here?

Ron



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 10:32:09 AM)

I'm not referencing the other topic, but my answer is

"It depends, but 99% of the time, don't share"

If Sensual told me a naughty harmless joke about her life in an email, I KNOW I could bring it up here to tease her about it.

The motivation is positive, the established level of social closeness between her and I is well established, and the possible risk of the information being twisted into something negative is practically nill.

Most cases in which people discuss sharing private information publicly don't fit any of those criteria.



Aileen68 -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 10:34:35 AM)

It makes sense to get permission from the one who sent the email first as to whether or not you can reprint what they wrote.



juliaoceania -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 10:39:09 AM)

It depends on your relationship with the person who gave the info and your part in that information

If you are involved in a long term relationship with someone and they dump you in an email, and you talk about what they said in the email, I think it is just fine.

If your dom emails you that he wants to take you to Disneyland next week, and you made a post in off topic about it, I think it is fine.

If you take a personal message in confidence about someone's kinks and plaster them all over the internet after you've posted your profile on an adult site, not acceptable to me

If you take someone's personal email and paste it into your journal to "expose" them, not ok to me.

If you seek to embarass someone in front of a group of people because they flirted with you and you are hurt they are married, not acceptable to me.

If you expose someone because they may hurt a child... I applaud you

If you need someone to tell you what is acceptable and what is not socially I think you need to go back to kindergarten and have your pinhead pinched... but that is me and I could be wrong.



kyraofMists -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 10:49:37 AM)

~Using Fast Reply

As others have alluded to, it depends on your motivation for sharing and your relationship with the person and where you are sharing it.

For me, I tell people up front that what I know, my Lord and alandra know.  I do not allow people to have an expectation that I will keep something strictly to myself.  The three of us are confidants and we don't hide things from each other.

Knight's kyra



pinkee -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:10:11 AM)

To Ron: i did not reference law; i said privacy etiquette.
 
The other P/posters;  the only exception i can imagine is prior permission, under agreed-upon conditions, from the M/member with whom Y/you interacted.  And frankly, i can't see the motivation in any event, apart from puffing.
 
pinkee



timeoutgurlie -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:13:57 AM)

My opinion is I was raised with this lesson:

Never say anything to anyone that would screw you over if it were told to everyone.

I live by that.  Sure, there are times I say thing that I would prefer not be told to anyone else, but if it happens, it happens.  The only guaranteed way to keep your business pristinely private is to share with no one.  Other than keeping your mouth shut, you have no guarantees.  Such is life. 

My best friend's favorite line:

Life's rough, get a helmet.

It's simple enough for anyone to understand, people should take it to heart a bit, they'd live happier and whine less.

I just recently have talked about a certain member of the site privately with others.  If they choose to reveal what I asked and why, so be it, I would face it and not be bothered.  I don't know these people well, and although I have something resembling trust in them to not make it public, if they did, I wouldn't be upset.

If there is information so precious or secret that you're fully aware it being public would damage or ruin you, and you tell people anyway...if your life is shattered or at the very least, your feeling are hurt, you have no one to blame but yourself.



LaTigresse -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:16:33 AM)

As others have expressed, it all depends on the content, the relationship, and what the purpose of "sharing" it is.

I make it a point to never betray confidences, if I think it is a gray area and am not sure if someone will mind my telling someone else I refrain until I am able to ask. The only time I would betray that confidence is if someone was in danger. At that point I would still be very selective as to how and who. I like the phrase "need to know".



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:16:58 AM)

I agree with you all the way up to this:

quote:

If you expose someone because they may hurt a child... I applaud you.
May being the operative word. You may be wrong in your assumption that they may hurt a child. Your statement I simply can't agree with but thats another thread.



timeoutgurlie -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:18:59 AM)

I have an off topic question, I see my last post says "in reply to kyraofmists"...yet I didn't quote her post, and didn't even post directly under hers.  Is there any thread topic about how this 'in reply to' feature works? [&:]



perverseangelic -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:19:54 AM)

If I put something onto the internet, I assume that it will, at some point, become public knowledge. GIven the way the internet is, any e-mail I write could become public, any journal entry I write could be seen by my parents, any picture I post could be found by potential employers.

Because of this, I don't put anythin on the internet that I would be uncomfortable having made public. I could honestly care less if someone posted my e-mails or anything else.

In more general terms, I honestly don't think there's a problem with posting just about anything, as long as identifying marks are removed. That is, if someone gets an e-mail they think is particularly silly/rude/informative/useful, I think that it shouldn't be a problem to post it in a public forum, as long as the identity of the writer is removed. I post conversations I've had on IM in one of my journals. Before I post them, I remove the screen name of the person I'm talking to. It becomes a conversation between me and a random individual. I don't think there's anything wrong wit doing that.



proudsub -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:23:19 AM)

In most cases i see no problem if you don't mention names or contact info.



pinkee -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:23:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

I agree with you all the way up to this:

quote:

If you expose someone because they may hurt a child... I applaud you.
May being the operative word. You may be wrong in your assumption that they may hurt a child. Your statement I simply can't agree with but thats another thread.



Hi MrDiscipline.  Many thankies for replying.  Yes, an intent to do harm to A/another -- not just children -- might rise to the level where disclosure was a duty.  However, disclosure should, IMHO, be limited to the police, the O/one to whom harm is intended, or Support...not the boards or Y/your journal.
 
pinkee



OedipusRexIt -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:24:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

It depends on your relationship with the person who gave the info and your part in that information

If you are involved in a long term relationship with someone and they dump you in an email, and you talk about what they said in the email, I think it is just fine.

If your dom emails you that he wants to take you to Disneyland next week, and you made a post in off topic about it, I think it is fine.

If you take a personal message in confidence about someone's kinks and plaster them all over the internet after you've posted your profile on an adult site, not acceptable to me

If you take someone's personal email and paste it into your journal to "expose" them, not ok to me.

If you seek to embarass someone in front of a group of people because they flirted with you and you are hurt they are married, not acceptable to me.

If you expose someone because they may hurt a child... I applaud you

If you need someone to tell you what is acceptable and what is not socially I think you need to go back to kindergarten and have your pinhead pinched... but that is me and I could be wrong.


I agreed with everything in this quote except the last statement.  It seems a little uncalled for.  There's nothing wrong with having asked the question, which was all the OP did.



kyraofMists -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:28:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie

I have an off topic question, I see my last post says "in reply to kyraofmists"...yet I didn't quote her post, and didn't even post directly under hers.  Is there any thread topic about how this 'in reply to' feature works? [&:]


If you clicked the "Reply" button at the top righthand corner of my post then you will have "in reply to kyraofMists" and if you use the Fast Reply feature at the bottom of the page it will show a reply to the last person who posted. 



juliaoceania -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:34:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

I agree with you all the way up to this:

quote:

If you expose someone because they may hurt a child... I applaud you.
May being the operative word. You may be wrong in your assumption that they may hurt a child. Your statement I simply can't agree with but thats another thread.



In my vanilla life, if a child maybe hurt I am calling the cops without hesitation,.. if nothing is wrong and all is above board.. the adults involved have nothing to worry about. To many children are abused,neglected, and exploited in our country.



juliaoceania -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:35:25 AM)

The last line was a joke was between me and someone that reads the forums...



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 11:56:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee
Hi MrDiscipline.  Many thankies for replying.  Yes, an intent to do harm to A/another -- not just children -- might rise to the level where disclosure was a duty.  However, disclosure should, IMHO, be limited to the police, the O/one to whom harm is intended, or Support...not the boards or Y/your journal.
 
pinkee
I can agree with that, pinkee. Going to authorities with proof of intent to harm is good (somemtimes it's great) and smearing it on the boards or in your public journal isn't. But the person I quoted didn't say that. Thay said may harm. To suspect someone may harm and to show proof that they would/will harm is two different thing.



pinkee -> RE: Privacy Etiquette (6/8/2006 12:06:45 PM)

For me, a "threat" would need to be evaluated.  Does the M/member have a history of acting out or violence?  Is the threat credible?  Did the M/member make it in the heat of the moment or later calm down and retract it?  Is vengenace involved?  Was the threat specific?  Etc.
 
pinkee



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