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Daddy questions - 7/11/2012 11:04:23 PM   
daddeesgurl1


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/27/2012
Status: offline 		What would make a good question list for potential Daddy? I was asked to make a list of questions to see if he would be a good match for me. I feel I've asked at least the basics (vanilla everyday stuff, experience, expectations, respecting limits), but I'm enjoying his push to know more. Unique.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 12:24:05 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		How would we know what you like or expect? Take the kink out of it, go masterbate a few dozen times till your brain is the one in charge again and then ask yourself this question, "What do I want in a MAN." The kinky shit you can work out over time, there's no rush and no blueprint for the "one true way". Whatever works for you is what should matter, not what a bunch of strangers say.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to daddeesgurl1)
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RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 12:29:03 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		Ask him if he'll buy you a porche.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to daddeesgurl1)
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RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 12:43:33 AM   
daddeesgurl1


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/27/2012
Status: offline 		I didn't realize asking for ideas was stupid...my apologies

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 1:25:50 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

...... go masterbate a few dozen times till your brain is the one in charge again .....


There should be an emoticon that covers
that sentiment, it would get a lot of mileage.

-ARIES

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 1:39:30 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		It's not stupid - we tend to speak to the point round here is all.

Imagine if I came in and said 'A Daddy should be over six foot two, he should be educated to PhD level, he should earn at least 70k a year, he should be able to cook. He should like to drive fast and want sex two to three times a week. He should enjoy sailing holidays and extreme sports and be an atheist.' Would you take my advice? Would you rule out a guy that you clicked with and seemed decent because he wants sex every night, is a rubbish cook and prefers going to the theatre over sailing? I'm guessing not.

For the most part you want someone who is a decent human being and has the qualities you value in any type of partner. For me, I want someone who is honest, pretty level-headed, responsible with money, has a good work ethic, is a family man, doesn't drink or smoke and is kind and consistent. My husband is all of those things. He is not, however, very adventurous or ambitious, he likes a quiet life and is a bit geeky. You might hate him. You might need someone who is spontaneous and unpredictable, and you might not care about his drinking habits or work ethic.

Make a list of qualities that the perfect man would have. Then divide them up into things you must have, and things that you can do without. Then ask about those.

In my opinion there isn't much that a list of questions will tell you for certain. Some things are black and white - he either has a job or he doesn't - but most people will be pretty forgiving on themselves if asked about their personal qualities. No matter how thorough your list of questions, you're unlikely to have someone say 'I'm pretty unreliable, I gossip and won't keep your secrets, I have a foul temper that will come out after we've been together for a few times, I'm a serial cheater and can't keep my hands to myself and I'm kind of a racist'. You need to observe someone and see their traits.

In the spirit of trying to answer your question though, how about throwing in some hypotheticals? You have no profile so I don't know if any of these would apply but how about:

-What would you do if I crashed your car?
-How would you handle it if I had a really bad week and was struggling to be obedient?
-What happens if I get pregnant?
-Do you believe in punishments and if so what would you do if x happened? (this seems important as people have widely different views on this)
-How would you help me if I got fired from my job?

That said I do have a sort of first-date checklist of dealbreakers if you are with this person in the flesh. I won't tolerate anyone who is rude to waitstaff/service people, or who drives aggressively, or spends the evening bragging or bitching about an ex.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to daddeesgurl1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 6:38:11 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		What do you want out of a relationship? What kind of person would you be happy with? Get to know someone, and see if he's that kind of person.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to daddeesgurl1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 7:13:59 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddeesgurl1

What would make a good question list for potential Daddy? I was asked to make a list of questions to see if he would be a good match for me. I feel I've asked at least the basics (vanilla everyday stuff, experience, expectations, respecting limits), but I'm enjoying his push to know more. Unique.


How well do you know yourself and what you are really looking for?
The answer is within the second question.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to daddeesgurl1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 7:25:03 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		The advice I give all novice female submissives:

I don't discuss the details of sex or submission until we've met and I decide I like you.

Right now, you should be discussing vanilla stuff to determine if you actually like this person enough to meet them. Your genitals should not be involved in making that decision. Make a list of your core values and don't settle for someone that doesn't fit those values.

The majority of relationships in WIITWD don't make it past three months. It's mostly because the genitals made the decision, now the shine is off and they realize that they don't even like the person they're with.

Part two: If you get overly involved in talking about sex and submission now.....then you meet and you decide the chemistry isn't there, it will be confusing because you've sent messages that you were up for more and now you're not.

Part three: If you get someone that all they want to talk about is sex and kink, you can bet that's all that they're interested in.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/12/2012 7:30:21 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 9:26:38 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Quoted for truth and quality....

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

It's not stupid - we tend to speak to the point round here is all.

Imagine if I came in and said 'A Daddy should be over six foot two, he should be educated to PhD level, he should earn at least 70k a year, he should be able to cook. He should like to drive fast and want sex two to three times a week. He should enjoy sailing holidays and extreme sports and be an atheist.' Would you take my advice? Would you rule out a guy that you clicked with and seemed decent because he wants sex every night, is a rubbish cook and prefers going to the theatre over sailing? I'm guessing not.

For the most part you want someone who is a decent human being and has the qualities you value in any type of partner. For me, I want someone who is honest, pretty level-headed, responsible with money, has a good work ethic, is a family man, doesn't drink or smoke and is kind and consistent. My husband is all of those things. He is not, however, very adventurous or ambitious, he likes a quiet life and is a bit geeky. You might hate him. You might need someone who is spontaneous and unpredictable, and you might not care about his drinking habits or work ethic.

Make a list of qualities that the perfect man would have. Then divide them up into things you must have, and things that you can do without. Then ask about those.

In my opinion there isn't much that a list of questions will tell you for certain. Some things are black and white - he either has a job or he doesn't - but most people will be pretty forgiving on themselves if asked about their personal qualities. No matter how thorough your list of questions, you're unlikely to have someone say 'I'm pretty unreliable, I gossip and won't keep your secrets, I have a foul temper that will come out after we've been together for a few times, I'm a serial cheater and can't keep my hands to myself and I'm kind of a racist'. You need to observe someone and see their traits.

In the spirit of trying to answer your question though, how about throwing in some hypotheticals? You have no profile so I don't know if any of these would apply but how about:

-What would you do if I crashed your car?
-How would you handle it if I had a really bad week and was struggling to be obedient?
-What happens if I get pregnant?
-Do you believe in punishments and if so what would you do if x happened? (this seems important as people have widely different views on this)
-How would you help me if I got fired from my job?

That said I do have a sort of first-date checklist of dealbreakers if you are with this person in the flesh. I won't tolerate anyone who is rude to waitstaff/service people, or who drives aggressively, or spends the evening bragging or bitching about an ex.



_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 9:31:04 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		yeah... what Athena said.

I think it's definitely time for a vote. I move we keep her. Seconded? *laughs*

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 10:14:26 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Oh, yeah. We ant to keep Athena.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 1:11:41 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Awwww you guys say the nicest things.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 2:29:39 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Well, the real question here should be what do you want in a MAN and and what do you want out of a relationship with that man? Then you go from there. A Daddy is not some mysterious figure, he is still a MAN.

If you just want definitons, then I found a link from a site called A Little Understanding called What Is A Daddy Dom?. These are two more links to DaddyD's Page What is Daddy Dom - and also to A Daddy Dominant's Creed. I still recommend thinking about what you want in a man and in a relationship, rather than just going for other people's defintions. After all, YOU are the one who will be IN that relationship, not them.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 3:38:05 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Do you normally go on a date and act like it's a job interview, asking a list of questions? Most of us don't.

We just date and talk like ordinary people. As we talk about our lives, we see if we see things eye to eye, if we can easily talk for hours without realizing the passage of time, if we can sit quietly together without it feeling weird.

If you just talk, instead of focusing on sex/play, you'll find out a lot more about him than if you ask 20 questions that don't tell you if he gets along with his mother, if he changes jobs frequently, if he likes art museums or spending time at a book store. Stuff that you like and that you need compatibility with.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 5:14:26 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddeesgurl1

What would make a good question list for potential Daddy? I was asked to make a list of questions to see if he would be a good match for me. I feel I've asked at least the basics (vanilla everyday stuff, experience, expectations, respecting limits), but I'm enjoying his push to know more. Unique.

Ok, you sound like you already have the basics out of the way. That's good.

Next you should consider what 'makes' the relationship you seek a 'D/lg' dynamic. Are you interested in corner time for misbehavior? Do you want to be able to sit on Daddy's lap whenever you like or do you have to be invited? Is it okay for you to ask? What sort of dress code will be expected for private time together? Is there a particular age range which appeals to you? If so, what is it? Do you like good girls or sassy little girls? How do we grow together in this dynamic given its very nature? What things do you believe will stunt the growth of our relationship should they not be addressed? What are the short and long term goals you have in mind for us? What expectations do you have of your girl? Will I be expected to adhere to an allowance you set? How do you feel about work outside the home? Do you think that errands and chores are best when done together or is that something you want your girl to take care of on her own?

Those are just a few off the top of my head that you can both assess and ask one another. Good luck with your dynamic.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to daddeesgurl1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 5:50:14 PM   
AineofTx


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/31/2012
Status: offline 		@ OP: I think we have largely missed the point here. IMHO, when a D-type asks me leading questions like that, it means he doesn't know what he's doing or who he is. He's a guy standing around with a fist full of darts without a target. Turning in big, loopy circles. He's hoping he'll recognize it when he sees it.

But I have become jaded over the years. It takes one minor misstep and I'm out. Life is just too damn short and there are to many good guys (and presumably gals) out there to waste a bunch of time on obtuse queries.

A

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 7:31:33 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Aha! Like this? Question in the Interview Process

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to AineofTx)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 7:32:22 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I've never made a list when getting to know someone. I prefer just talking to them like any other human being on the planet...casual conversation, talking about shit and if a question comes up, then I ask it. I find that I get to know more about a person than through some kind of formal list where the person has time to think up something that they think you want to hear. When asked off the cuff, it's a casual flow and they're more apt to be honest because they have now come to a casual and comfortable rapport with the other person.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to AineofTx)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Daddy questions - 7/12/2012 7:35:15 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I just get to know them like I would anyone else, vanilla or kink, without a list. Later on, when we start talking kink, I do have a list that we can go over to find out what his experience/likes/dislikes/hard limits are.

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


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Profile   Post #: 20
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