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domincalifornia -> RE: Is this appropriate behavior from a male Dom? (7/17/2012 11:52:17 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessxKitty
Recently I had a bit of trouble with a user here going around saying my profile was fake and that I was really a man. A fellow Domme warned me about this user, and asked if I would like some advice from her "mentor" whom she claimed was close to the admins. I'm new to the site and was unsure how to proceed, since verifying my identity didn't seem to be stopping this user from spreading lies.
All my communication with this "mentor" happened over skype. At first we talked about my problem and he said he would take care of it...but then he asked me to turn on my cam. Thinking he simply wanted to verify my identity, I did, but then he began to ask very personal questions and complimenting me. To each question I responded "how is that relevant to my problem?" And each time this male Dom acted very huffy and condescending, saying that he was not "my plaything". When I resisted further attempts to probe into my personal life, he acted like I was the one with the problem, saying that he did not "find my manner very pleasing". I felt like this man was trying to take advantage of me, I've had enough experience with creeps to know when I am being solicited. Finally, the user who had been spreading rumors sent me a panicked email begging me not to go to the admins any more, apologizing for his "silly behavior". Then the Dom I was talking to on skype told me to "bow my head in thanks". I told him he had completely disrespected my boundaries, and that helping me with one problem did not give him licence to treat me like a potential new addition to his harem.
Tell me I am not completely insane---this kind of behavior is NOT what constitutes respectful, professional etiquette between members of the BDSM scene, right? If this were an office I could have gotten this guy fired for sexual harassment. Do male doms always treat female dommes with such disregard for personal boundaries? I felt like this guy was trying to force me into a scene with him that I had absolutely not asked for or consented to.
I realize it is also likely that the man spreading rumors, the female domme who contacted me, and the male dom who called me rude are one and the same person. I cannot contact the female domme because she has blocked me, stating that my rude behavior has made her mentor mad at her!
Any insights into my situation would be most appreciated.
x-posted to "ask a mistress"
Oh, please babe. If you are a financial domme on CM, some guys are going to talk trash about you. Goes with the territory. So you don't sound "insane" to me, as much as gullible. I mean, you think people online generally treat each other with "respectful, professional etiquette"? You think a "female domme" is going to refer you to her "mentor" who happens to be a guy who wants to skype with you? You got played by someone who was looking for some cheap kicks. Nothing more to it than that.
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