RE: Help?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Help?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Help?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Help? - 7/14/2012 3:07:09 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

I don't know you nor your boyfriend. You may or not may a Dominant. That's up to you to explore and figure out. Self Actualization is a great thing. Some people might slam you for your motivations. I won't. Motivations can do amazing things in people's lives. Even motivations of the heart. So learn as much as you can about this lifestyle, BDSM and kink. At the very least, you've educated yourself (a plus) and you've grown as a human being (another plus).

Also, it's not very uncommon for subs to even get around to exploring their Dominant sides. Dare I say this out loud in the message board.

Also people tend to associate D/s with personality. Which ain't always the case. There are some extremely Dominant personalities which enjoy being submissive in their personal relationships. D/s is a relationship structure. While Topping/bottoming is associated to activities.

There's a wide mix and variety among people into this madness.

My advice, is to talk with your boyfriend. Figure out exactly what he's into. Explore if you can do these things, if you have any real interest. Think of this a bit like picking up a new hobby, or hell personal self enrichment. Explore it some. Allow yourself the Freedom to do so. Many people shun away from doing so.. because of social conditioning, and very ashamed of these taboo things.

Communication and Exploration and learning new things. This is key. Don't worry about what everybody thinks or worry about judgement. Like the saying goes.. opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one. LOL

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to DesiresFury)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Help? - 7/14/2012 7:45:16 PM

Kaiel

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Read 50 shades of Grey, it will tell you everything.

too funny! LMAO

OP, I think you got a ton of good advice here on the forums... however, if I were you I would run not walk to the closet exit. Dishonesty in a relationship is always a big RED FLAG.

Good luck!

MK

< Message edited by Kaiel -- 7/14/2012 7:51:44 PM >

_____________________________

I keep My expectations and thread counts high- "catitude"

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Help? - 7/15/2012 6:20:52 AM

MsGypsey

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesiresFury

I thank you all for your feedback. My bf and I have been together 3 years. We were supposed to be married. And I THOUGHT we were in an exclusive relationship. Up until a couple of days ago, I did not know that he was displeased. He never told me. I would have gladly done things differently. Even though, to be honest, it made me uncomfortable and felt unnatural. Maybe that was the problem. I was trying to be something that goes against my nature. Anyway, thanks again and I guess I'll be moving along now.

I'm sorry that you were together for that long and then find out only recently what exactly is on his mind, and how much your thoughts diverge. From what you've written in your OP and subsequently, I can only say that I think you will find someone who is more understanding of your needs and what you have to offer in a comfortable, natural and rewarding relationship. Better, is out there.

(in reply to DesiresFury)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Help? - 7/15/2012 4:50:08 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesiresFury

Maybe you can give me some advice. I'm new to this board and may not know the correct terminology. So please excuse. I found out after hooking up with my boyfriend, that he's into this kind of thing. He's submissive, or even a slave. I'm not really a dominant person. But I tried to accommodate him as best I could. I guess it wasn't good enough. I found out recently that he's been trying to hook up with others on Craigslist. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure he's a member here, although I don't know his username. I really love him and don't want to lose him. Any advice for me?

Yes...accommodate him if you love him...he's locked in...this is in his brain.

(By the way...his screen name is "Lookienonookie"....he's a total slut).

(in reply to DesiresFury)

Profile

Post #: 24