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RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 6:58:09 AM   
SadisticMs2


Posts: 203
Joined: 8/10/2011
Status: offline 		My business advice would be don't try to sell a skill that you just do not have.

(in reply to pyschosubmission)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 7:23:31 AM   
r1a2y3m4o5n6d7


Posts: 196
Joined: 1/15/2012
Status: offline 		She called you GUYS. Someone take a whip to her/him.

(in reply to SadisticMs2)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 10:52:13 AM   
Delilya


Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		I'd be happy to teach you what you need to know. You, of course, will be paying for the classes. After all education doesn't come cheap. Should I go ahead and set up a Paypal account now?

_____________________________

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(in reply to r1a2y3m4o5n6d7)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 11:02:40 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
So, basically you're looking for everyone else to do your job for you rather than reading and doing research.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
We get constant complaints on this sites about dommes who are just out to make a quick buck and aren't actually interested in being dominant at all. They give the rest of the female dominants a bad name. Real pros work hard for their money and have skills that are worth paying for. People doing what you propose give them a bad name, and result in a billion whiny threads here from subs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticMs2
My business advice would be don't try to sell a skill that you just do not have.


Yup. This. ^^^^^ ALL of it.

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 1:16:58 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonbitch

Well, not at all looking for anyone else to do my job. I've been looking for days on end online researching and things, I just don't feel as though I've found the proper literature.

I was obviously mistaken. I read "ask a mistress" and figured this was a thread for this sort of thing I thought I'd get a little bit of help and maybe a little more welcoming responses than I did. I was wrong, I will find no help here. Sorry to bother you all.





You want to start a business. So you came here asking for help. Fair enough. But your initial request was so vaguely worded that no one knew what you were asking. Your second request was so broad that it was virtually impossible to answer in a meaningful way.

On top of that, you turned snarky when people told you your posts were too vague and broad to respond to.

So I will leave you with one tip, since you want tips: If you want strangers to help you when there's nothing in it for them, you should exercise more thankfulness, more humility, and check the sense of self-entitlement. Instead of the above post, you should have written an apology for your initial vagueness and then identified exactly what you want to know. Because if you can't ask specific questions at this point, it shows you have done insufficient research on your own.

(in reply to moonbitch)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 4:01:22 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality


quote:

ORIGINAL: moonbitch

Well, not at all looking for anyone else to do my job. I've been looking for days on end online researching and things, I just don't feel as though I've found the proper literature.

I was obviously mistaken. I read "ask a mistress" and figured this was a thread for this sort of thing I thought I'd get a little bit of help and maybe a little more welcoming responses than I did. I was wrong, I will find no help here. Sorry to bother you all.





You want to start a business. So you came here asking for help. Fair enough. But your initial request was so vaguely worded that no one knew what you were asking. Your second request was so broad that it was virtually impossible to answer in a meaningful way.

On top of that, you turned snarky when people told you your posts were too vague and broad to respond to.

So I will leave you with one tip, since you want tips: If you want strangers to help you when there's nothing in it for them, you should exercise more thankfulness, more humility, and check the sense of self-entitlement. Instead of the above post, you should have written an apology for your initial vagueness and then identified exactly what you want to know. Because if you can't ask specific questions at this point, it shows you have done insufficient research on your own.


Since it seems that a lot of women come here and ask for advice regarding how to engage in online pay for play, many seeming to want to get in on the market, some of the bottoms who are only looking for online play as an outlet and are frustrated with the amount of findoms demanding tribute should develop a barter plan and offer it up. Off the top of my head, it would go something like this -

The sub offers a week of his time for the femdom to train him online, and provides her:

* suggestions of lessons / games that many /most subs like
* practical ways she can implement and monitor
* ways she can track progress and provide rewards and incentives
* insight into financials - how much subs are willing to pay and what gets them from the point of browsing to buying
* where subs find findoms

I mean think about it. Subs have all the data these women want. If a man were to really offer to make it worth her time, he could get a LOT of domination "for free" if he gave back to her valuable data regarding her methods. Maybe the rule would be that they'd engage in the week (or x days) of domination and then he'd provide her an evaluation regarding what she did right and could do better, and what'd he'd be willing to "pay for" vs. not.

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 5:58:55 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

If I paid someone for a haircut, and it turned out that the hairdresser had just gone on a message board and said 'please tell me how to cut hair' instead of spending time learning and training and practicing, I'd be pretty pissed.[

...PS. I've decided to become a personal trainer. I'm not very fit and don't like exercise, but I've read an e-how article so I'm sure I can boss you about until you lose weight. Anyone want to sign up? /quote]

I think you've earned your second shoe for this!

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(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 6:07:47 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I honestly do think you should just go away, now, before you get a storm coming down on your head.




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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 6:39:15 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticMs2

My business advice would be don't try to sell a skill that you just do not have.


Because it needed to be said again.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to SadisticMs2)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/18/2012 7:59:45 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Normally in my sex life I had always been a total sub. Nothing I love more than being completely controlled. Recently I joined a website where there is a lot of online domme requests. I need help. Anything, really. Any sort of pointers on how to initiate things, how to not give too much right away, tips of any kind would be amazing!!


The main job you have is sorting through the high volume of mail you will receive in your inbox; this is somewhat akin the HR department of a company screening resumes. Next, you have to decide how to bring up your pro status. If its not in your profile, guys will hope you are a lifestyle domme.

If you feel submissive by nature, I think that could be a selling point, because you can the relate to submissive needs and urges.

Lastly, my suggestion would be for you to decide on a specialization. I think trying to satisfy the male needs across the broad spectrum of BDSM and D/S would be both taxing (energy wise trying to connect with clients) and expensive (buying the gear.) If you narrow in on bondage & spanking, for instance, you have fixed costs and a more targeted client base. You could also quickly develop an expertise and confidence in what you do.

Attracting attention and interest will be the least of your problems, finding good, appreciative guys with whom to work will be the trick.

As you've learned here (the famous "ask a Mistress" embrace), a thick skin will be useful, b/c many guys are inherently hostile to professionals. Be prepared to be called a "whore," "slut," and a "fake" by irate men who are frustrated.

When meeting potential clients for the first time, pick a neutral, vanilla spot to screen them.

Good luck. Some of the professionals here report positive experiences and seem satisfied in their jobs.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 7/18/2012 8:01:45 PM >

(in reply to moonbitch)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 11:47:07 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

As you've learned here (the famous "ask a Mistress" embrace), a thick skin will be useful, b/c many guys are inherently hostile to professionals.


Rather than hostility, I think the OP rec'd a valuable reality check.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 1:03:26 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonbitch

I really don't want to argue with a bunch of strangers. Thanks for the help, guys!


Oh for fucksake! Pull those undies out of your ass and chill the fuck out. If you think the answers you've gotten before mine were rude, you really shouldn't even be trolling the net. Nothing I read before my post was rude. And the only thing rude in my post is my propensity for the word 'fuck' when I read ridiculous words written by ridiculous people behaving ridiculously.

I suggest you go back to being submissive and playing in the shallow end of the kiddie pool.

Seriously

Annnnnnnnnnnnd, apparently I was a little late to that party...

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/19/2012 1:04:41 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to moonbitch)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 3:25:50 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonbitch

Wow, not the kind of responses I was expecting. Sort of rude in response. But I guess I'll try and make it a little more clear.
For online, for profit, and to explore a different facet. My question basically TIPS. Tips/pointers. That's really all I'm trying to get at.



Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

(Sorry....I meant that in the most submissive of ways).

(in reply to moonbitch)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 3:26:58 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xLaChienne

I got nothing for you.

There are thousands of findomme sites around with tips and such. You might check one of those out.


You look like a globe.

(in reply to xLaChienne)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 3:28:02 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonbitch

Well, not at all looking for anyone else to do my job. I've been looking for days on end online researching and things, I just don't feel as though I've found the proper literature.

I was obviously mistaken. I read "ask a mistress" and figured this was a thread for this sort of thing I thought I'd get a little bit of help and maybe a little more welcoming responses than I did. I was wrong, I will find no help here. Sorry to bother you all.




One word: Humility.

(in reply to moonbitch)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 3:33:24 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		<cough> http://www.collarchat.com/m_4176806/tm.htm

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 3:54:24 PM   
xLaChienne


Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
You look like a globe.


Is that a forum euphemism for fat?

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 3:56:28 PM   
Byste


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/1/2012
Status: offline 		Since you're submissive, just ask the "submissive" men what they want you to do and do it.

Byste

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 4:18:00 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		It's like they ask for it. Then are surprised when we respond.


_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Byste)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: HELP! NEW to domming - 7/19/2012 4:34:36 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xLaChienne


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
You look like a globe.


Is that a forum euphemism for fat?


I don't think so...as best as I can tell, it was actually a euphemism for "you look like a globe".

(in reply to xLaChienne)
Profile   Post #: 40
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