Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Leggo my ego*!


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Leggo my ego*! Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 10:26:12 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
Internal enslavement for real....is that like "true M/s?"

Perhaps and like all such things I suspect it stems more from a lack of empathy on my part than some sort of actual measure of anything. I must admit to a vast degree of amusement at what I have read about "IE" on various web sites and yes, that does smack of "twue IE". But rightly or wrongly I meant what I said. Much of what I've read about IE sounds like "svengali-esque mind control techniques" more useful for fantasy than reality (and for the record, I'm eternally grateful to AnimusRex for giving me that phrase LOL). All I have done is reached inside her mind with the same degree of authority others reach for the body. There's no parlour tricks. There's just me demanding obedience as a part of the word "total". The only tool I have to accomplish my ends is the banked trust & respect I've accumulated over the years.

It's giving my mind over to another, and that is a place I can't go, given my own history.
*nods* It is exactly giving over her mind. I think what surprised me about the reaction I got to this was the fact that I didn't exactly invent the phrase, "I'm his mind, body and soul.". Heck, that's not even a BDSM phrase. It's another one of those things that poets and songwriters have been saying for a long time that I just thought sounded like a good idea to take literally. You certainly see it on BDSM profiles constantly. So when I was more naive I really was taken aback at the reaction I got. In my own head all I'm doing is the mind and soul parts... no biggie, right? *laughs*

To say "If the Mister says it, he's right because he says he's right" makes me think, why bother having any thoughts at all then? I may as well get a lobotomy. Now I know Carol is not a lobotomized woman walking around with no thoughts. But when you say these things, that's the image it gives me of myself, in that type of situation.
It doesn't go "beyond trust". It is the very essence of trust for us. It just takes trust farther or in a direction that you are unable to or don't want to go at this point in your relationship. Although honestly... when you two have another decade under your belts I won't be surprised to see you thinking of this in an entirely different light. You are both honorable people. Insofar as the no thoughts thing, you are of course correct. The reality between us is not as your own experiences play it in your head. If it was true what you were thinking I'd be stopping the whole thing in a heartbeat. The real truth is that it is the largest expression of love and intimacy and "us-ness" that happens in our marriage.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 10:45:55 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		I have no idea what you guys are talking about. The topic simply never occurred to me.

Let's just be clear ; I'm not going to get along with any of you.

Y'all have fun.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:00:40 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC


Perhaps and like all such things I suspect it stems more from a lack of empathy on my part than some sort of actual measure of anything. I must admit to a vast degree of amusement at what I have read about "IE" on various web sites and yes, that does smack of "twue IE". But rightly or wrongly I meant what I said. Much of what I've read about IE sounds like "svengali-esque mind control techniques" more useful for fantasy than reality (and for the record, I'm eternally grateful to AnimusRex for giving me that phrase LOL). All I have done is reached inside her mind with the same degree of authority others reach for the body. There's no parlour tricks. There's just me demanding obedience as a part of the word "total". The only tool I have to accomplish my ends is the banked trust & respect I've accumulated over the years.


I understand where you're coming from. We're just in a different place - no better, worse, or anything else. He does reach inside my mind to a certain degree, he just doesn't manipulate it. He influences my thoughts, and it's my sense of self, my love for him and his character, which brings me to do what he says. It's his love for me, his character, and his trust in my submission to him which gives him the authority to command me. But he doesn't want me agreeing with him in all things. He wants me to point out the things that are hard to point out - such as if I think he's wrong about something. So that's why I personally don't subscribe to the "He is right because he says he's right" philosophy.

quote:


*nods* It is exactly giving over her mind. I think what surprised me about the reaction I got to this was the fact that I didn't exactly invent the phrase, "I'm his mind, body and soul.". Heck, that's not even a BDSM phrase. It's another one of those things that poets and songwriters have been saying for a long time that I just thought sounded like a good idea to take literally. You certainly see it on BDSM profiles constantly. So when I was more naive I really was taken aback at the reaction I got. In my own head all I'm doing is the mind and soul parts... no biggie, right? *laughs*


Oh I know, it's quite a romantic notion but not practical in my own mind. He doesn't get my soul - it's not mine to give. That's my own spiritual belief, though. As for my mind, well he's invited in and welcome to be there, of course. And he's welcome to tool around in there and reshape some of my thinking. But when he's in there I'm fully aware that he is, and aware of what he's doing. And if it doesn't feel right I speak up - at which point he either changes direction and/or approach, pulls back, or forges ahead anyway. But there's not an automatic "If he says it, he's right" response from me.

quote:



It doesn't go "beyond trust". It is the very essence of trust for us. It just takes trust farther or in a direction that you are unable to or don't want to go at this point in your relationship. Although honestly... when you two have another decade under your belts I won't be surprised to see you thinking of this in an entirely different light. You are both honorable people. Insofar as the no thoughts thing, you are of course correct. The reality between us is not as your own experiences play it in your head. If it was true what you were thinking I'd be stopping the whole thing in a heartbeat. The real truth is that it is the largest expression of love and intimacy and "us-ness" that happens in our marriage.

Oh I totally get that we've only been together 3 1/2 years and aren't even under one roof yet, and that things will change greatly when we are living together with more years invested. I will likely think of this concept entirely differently in the years to come. Right now, though, this is where I'm at, and why I can identify with LadyHib's sentiment. It's a concept that scares the shit out of me, and of which I am quite defensive about.

So I'm not in any way saying what you & Carol are doing is wrong; I'm saying that it's a concept that would not work for me here and now, and which gives me an unsettling feeling when I consider putting myself in a similar situation, at this point in my life.

But we evolve and change, so in the future? Who knows.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:01:51 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Let's just be clear ; I'm not going to get along with any of you.


What a strange sentiment, but okee dokee.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:17:38 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		This kind of thing has always disturbed me a little bit. What happens if the slaves owner falls over and has a heart attack - or gets hit by a bus and dies? Whos going to do the thinking then?

Ive read one too many stories where someone gets relocated as someones slave and the owner tires of them, replaces them and boots the slave out on the street without a dime.

Theres just so many pit-falls when you put your security in someone else - and then one day theyre gone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

heh...Master likes to joke about when he asks me what I'm thinking and I say "nuthin" and he says "Ok course not. Slaves don't have thoughts. They don't need to think".



_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:42:09 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I will be honest, Jeff, that "perfectly obvious" thing absolutely chills my blood. For reasons that I suspect I don't have to mention here. I don't fault you for wanting what you want, and getting it, I am just glad you use your powers for good.



From my POV, most male dominants have this thinking or something close to it. And yes, I certainly agree, reasons to make sure said dominant uses his power for good.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida


I do disagree with Chatte in this "b/c good submission requires you to do things like place your dominant's wants and needs above your own," and I know it was said in the context of some other things I do agree with, but I don't actually place his wants and needs above my own. We both place the relationship's wants and needs first and we fall second to that.


I like your statement better in terms of the overall picture. I was speaking more on a day to day basis. On that basis, I do put his wants and needs above my own.

But, you know, I have some medical problems, and there are times when I *can't* put his wants and needs above my own. That I am in pain and need to deal with that has to come first, and so he, for the sake of the relationship, has to tone his ego down so I can be first (which he has zero problem with).




_____________________________



(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:47:23 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt


I like your statement better in terms of the overall picture. I was speaking more on a day to day basis. On that basis, I do put his wants and needs above my own.

I totally get where you're coming from. Day-to-day being more like, he wants steak for dinner and I'm more in a salady kinda mood. I tend to get kind of literal so I read your original post with a "total picture" in mind. But I get it. :)

quote:



But, you know, I have some medical problems, and there are times when I *can't* put his wants and needs above my own. That I am in pain and need to deal with that has to come first, and so he, for the sake of the relationship, has to tone his ego down so I can be first (which he has zero problem with).

Yep, and this is where the needs of the relationship comes first in my mind. Your health is best for the relationship. Therefore, your immediate need is going to be a priority so that the relationship can thrive.

It's just the blanket statement of "He always comes first, all the time and in all things" that I don't subscribe to, personally. I know now that's not what you meant.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 2:22:09 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
For example?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_complex
In psychoanalytic theory, the term Oedipus complex denotes the emotions and ideas that the mind keeps in the unconscious, via dynamic repression, that concentrate upon a boy’s desire to sexually possess his mother, and kill his father.[1][2] Sigmund Freud, who coined the term "Oedipus complex" believed that the Oedipus complex is a desire for the mother in both sexes (he believed that girls have a homosexual attraction towards their mother); Freud deprecated the term "Electra Complex", a term which was introduced by Carl Gustav Jung. The Oedipus complex occurs in the third — phallic stage (ages 3–6) — of five psychosexual development stages: (i) the Oral, (ii) the Anal, (iii) the Phallic, (iv) the Latent, and (v) the Genital — in which the source libido pleasure is in a different erogenous zone of the infant’s body.

In classical, Freudian psychoanalytic theory, the child’s identification with the same-sex parent is the successful resolution of the Oedipus complex and of the Electra complex; his and her key psychological experience to developing a mature sexual role and identity. Sigmund Freud further proposed that girls and boys resolved their complexes differently — he via castration anxiety, she via penis envy; and that unsuccessful resolutions might lead to neurosis, paedophilia, and homosexuality. Men and women who are fixated in the Oedipal and Electra stages of their psychosexual development might be considered “mother-fixated” and “father-fixated” as revealed when the mate (sexual partner) resembles the corresponding mother or father unit.


A large part of the above is nothing more than Freud's excuse for his abnormal sexual attraction to his mother.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 10:18:31 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

This kind of thing has always disturbed me a little bit. What happens if the slaves owner falls over and has a heart attack - or gets hit by a bus and dies? Whos going to do the thinking then?

Ive read one too many stories where someone gets relocated as someones slave and the owner tires of them, replaces them and boots the slave out on the street without a dime.

Theres just so many pit-falls when you put your security in someone else - and then one day theyre gone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

heh...Master likes to joke about when he asks me what I'm thinking and I say "nuthin" and he says "Ok course not. Slaves don't have thoughts. They don't need to think".





Well, as for me, I'm 40 years old and was a single mom with a daughter who is now 20 years old and held two mortgages during that time and I was a military wife and a widow from that marriage and I've been working since I was 16. If I get into a relationship now where he takes care of me and he dies and I can't just pick up the pieces yet then I would hope someone would put me in a loony bin for having lost my mind.

Now there are people like my mom who is now 73 and widowed as well, was married at the age of 17 and never worked a day in her life other than in the fields cutting down corn and paperwood for the mills and quit school when she was only 9.

She hasn't a clue how to even balance her own checkbook or how to do much of anything on her own but she has her children all around her who go and check on her, do everything she needs to do, makes sure she takes her meds, etc....

So I really don't see what bdsm has to do with all of this. This type of stuff happens all the time. Hell, when my daughter left home for the first time she didn't have a clue how to even wash clothes or dishes or how to write a check. I had to teach her all of those things from scratch because she obviously never paid attention the first time around at home.

So this worry about "what if your dom has a heart attack"....errr...ok, what's the difference of asking this of anyone at all???

You do the same as everyone else. You pick up the pieces and go on with your life and learn it or end up homeless or worse.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 10:21:01 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt


I like your statement better in terms of the overall picture. I was speaking more on a day to day basis. On that basis, I do put his wants and needs above my own.

I totally get where you're coming from. Day-to-day being more like, he wants steak for dinner and I'm more in a salady kinda mood. I tend to get kind of literal so I read your original post with a "total picture" in mind. But I get it. :)

quote:



But, you know, I have some medical problems, and there are times when I *can't* put his wants and needs above my own. That I am in pain and need to deal with that has to come first, and so he, for the sake of the relationship, has to tone his ego down so I can be first (which he has zero problem with).

Yep, and this is where the needs of the relationship comes first in my mind. Your health is best for the relationship. Therefore, your immediate need is going to be a priority so that the relationship can thrive.

It's just the blanket statement of "He always comes first, all the time and in all things" that I don't subscribe to, personally. I know now that's not what you meant.



Having been recently ill for about a week with very little energy to do anything at all other than sleep, Master's orders were to get well so he could have his slave back so my priority was still him.

This is how it works for us at least.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:19:47 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


You do the same as everyone else. You pick up the pieces and go on with your life and learn it or end up homeless or worse.



This is why I think that outside support networks are so important and one of the reasons that being isolated (by circumstance mostly) when we lived in Europe was so hard for me. I didn't have any sort of support network so had to trudge through mostly alone in a country where I wasn't allowed to work, my language skills sucked and my only human contact came in spurts at a combined total about 30 mins a day if I was lucky. If Michael was on the road (especially when he was outside of whichever country we actually lived in) I could go two or three weeks at a time without being able to communicate with anyone save via the Internet .. when it worked. The on again, off again relationship with the Internet and the large time difference between Portugal, Italy and my family here in CA made things even more difficult. I survived it, but things did change.

It boils down to adapt or die. When that time comes where Michael is gone and I'm still here.. I guess I'll find out then which one takes place.

I don't have a crystal ball, but I'm fairly certain I know which it will be.


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:26:31 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		that's kinda me right now in Baltimore. I don't know anyone and I could go weeks without talking to anyone except people on here, my daughter on the phone and Master. I'm not currently working, and school is out for the summer plus my classes are online. I can't tolerate face to face classes. I usually end up sitting in the back and sleeping lol.

I'm just starting to get out and meet some people but even that isn't really all that often and I'm still not sure where I stand with them but I'm really really trying to give it time. I know it's difficult for me to call people "friends" because I'm so....well...picky I guess.

But like I said, you go on no matter what your situation. I may have no real network here but I still thrive...somewhat lol...depends on the day and I do what I can to try and get out and be around people like I did tonight at the local arts festival.





_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:52:32 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Real nice op Bita.

"Do you, as a dominant, feel that you take the place of your submissives super-ego?"

Absolutely yes. Not just as a dominant but being a macho type in general, as a relationship partner, I feel it is my job to become an extension of or replacement for my partner's super-ego. I want them to see themselves through my eyes and discover the beauty I see in them. I want them to be pretty or have an attractive personality for me, their ego to become the reflection as seen in my eyes. I want them to see the world from my perspective and adopt my morals (or lack thereof). Every day is a non recoverable investment of your time, I want them to learn to invest their time with me in a life that is rewarding and adventurous.

To get someone to the point that everything, absolutely everything is a pleasant adventure I often need to "strip away the reality" or at least some of the reality they once new.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/20/2012 11:55:43 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		nicely said ResidentSadist. I can positively say that I think that has happened with Master and I.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/21/2012 12:03:25 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
about two months before I said "fuck it" and jumped off the cliff to see if we could fly or not.


Right.. and you flew. How does that not fucking rock in every way? So, no, I don't get it. The whole 'extreme' thing.. dude.. We're worm food, .. or yanno, ashes on the wind, whatever .. our future is secure and assured of that so, damn.. how ya live is how you live. I don't know what topic you think can't be discussed in polite company but this is CM after all. We don't exactly have a web rep of being polite around here.

We have topic'd on every subject from amputation to zapping someone with a cattle prod.. and I remember an amazing thread on 'death' several years back. Hypnosis, mind control, Stockholm syndrome, O/p, TPE, IE .. the list goes on and on and on. Sure, it gets contentious sometimes, but hell, so what. That's passion coming out. I'd get my "Italians Rock" t-shirt taken away if I didn't love passion. Honest to god discussions (sans trolls and socks.. easy to spot, easy to block these days) with passion.. I love that shit and we've had it, loads of it.

That said.. I totally respect your decision to keep somethings between face to face meetings. I respond quite well to 'nunya' (as in - That, my dear, is none of your damn business).

Perhaps, if a thread is started that's worded in a way which allows for open discussion on whatever topics you think don't get spoken of.. well, maybe you'll join in. That'd be cool.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/21/2012 12:18:24 AM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Real nice op Bita.

"Do you, as a dominant, feel that you take the place of your submissives super-ego?"

Absolutely yes. Not just as a dominant but being a macho type in general, as a relationship partner, I feel it is my job to become an extension of or replacement for my partner's super-ego. I want them to see themselves through my eyes and discover the beauty I see in them. I want them to be pretty or have an attractive personality for me, their ego to become the reflection as seen in my eyes. I want them to see the world from my perspective and adopt my morals (or lack thereof). Every day is a non recoverable investment of your time, I want them to learn to invest their time with me in a life that is rewarding and adventurous.

To get someone to the point that everything, absolutely everything is a pleasant adventure I often need to "strip away the reality" or at least some of the reality they once new.


This says some pretty negative things about the women you want. They can't have their own sense of the beauty of themselves? Why would they have to adopt your morals, what is lacking in theirs? Why would their life be non-rewarding outside of your 'investment'?

If reality is narrowed down solely to your own definitions, you'd best be perfect, or they also adopt your flaws. It sounds good on the surface, until you look at the reality of being human. This is not forging a relationship, it's making a reflection of yourself, and that is narcissism. Accepting a person for who they are is harder, but it's also worth it.

I hope you allow yourself to rethink this. Taking it to heart is debasing in the true sense of the word, not in the bedroom fun-and-games aspect. Rewriting a human being shouldn't be casual or enthusiastic.


_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/21/2012 12:24:52 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Real nice op Bita.

"Do you, as a dominant, feel that you take the place of your submissives super-ego?"

Absolutely yes. Not just as a dominant but being a macho type in general, as a relationship partner, I feel it is my job to become an extension of or replacement for my partner's super-ego. I want them to see themselves through my eyes and discover the beauty I see in them. I want them to be pretty or have an attractive personality for me, their ego to become the reflection as seen in my eyes. I want them to see the world from my perspective and adopt my morals (or lack thereof). Every day is a non recoverable investment of your time, I want them to learn to invest their time with me in a life that is rewarding and adventurous.

To get someone to the point that everything, absolutely everything is a pleasant adventure I often need to "strip away the reality" or at least some of the reality they once new.

So Awesome you are. 5 mins., bucket list. Seriously ... and if mind rapes and licking eyeballs are involved, more the better and if there's blood.. just try to keep me away.

If someone else had written what you did, I might imagine they had a Cap'n Save-a-Ho complex, but your everhope has shown that your ability to select high quality can't be denied. I have a feeling that should Samderella decide to join us on the forums, I will see similar high quality.

Thank you for providing my favorite sentence in the whole thread, RS.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/21/2012 12:45:32 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Real nice op Bita.

"Do you, as a dominant, feel that you take the place of your submissives super-ego?"

Absolutely yes. Not just as a dominant but being a macho type in general, as a relationship partner, I feel it is my job to become an extension of or replacement for my partner's super-ego. I want them to see themselves through my eyes and discover the beauty I see in them. I want them to be pretty or have an attractive personality for me, their ego to become the reflection as seen in my eyes. I want them to see the world from my perspective and adopt my morals (or lack thereof). Every day is a non recoverable investment of your time, I want them to learn to invest their time with me in a life that is rewarding and adventurous.

To get someone to the point that everything, absolutely everything is a pleasant adventure I often need to "strip away the reality" or at least some of the reality they once new.

So Awesome you are. 5 mins., bucket list. Seriously ... and if mind rapes and licking eyeballs are involved, more the better and if there's blood.. just try to keep me away.

If someone else had written what you did, I might imagine they had a Cap'n Save-a-Ho complex, but your everhope has shown that your ability to select high quality can't be denied. I have a feeling that should Samderella decide to join us on the forums, I will see similar high quality.

Thank you for providing my favorite sentence in the whole thread, RS.



Nope you nailed it. It really is the stereotypical "Save-a-Ho" complex . . . just that it is done with dash more style and swagger (plus I have great luck picking women).

But guys are assholes like that so I qualified it by saying it was more than a Dom thang' and was part of my macho machismo. I think the only difference between foolish failures that end up as white knights impaled on the white picket fencing of their damsel's dreams and sly old dogs that actually pull off the "Save-a-Ho" approach (which is just a symbiotic ego trip) is whether or not they got the style and experience to sell it to their audience. Every time I see a white knight with a white picket through his heart I know she didn't buy it.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/21/2012 12:58:49 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Nope you nailed it. It really is the stereotypical "Save-a-Ho" complex . . . just that it is done with dash more style and swagger (plus I have great luck picking women).

But guys are assholes like that so I qualified it by saying it was more than a Dom thang' and was part of my macho machismo. I think the only difference between foolish failures that end up as white knights impaled on the white picket fencing of their damsel's dreams and sly old dogs that actually pull off the "Save-a-Ho" approach (which is just a symbiotic ego trip) is whether or not they got the style and experience to sell it to their audience. Every time I see a white knight with a white picket through his heart I know she didn't buy it.

You got style.. I'll give you that! Some days I'm really sorry I'm not a ho in need of saving.

trim quote edit

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 7/21/2012 1:00:42 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Leggo my ego*! - 7/21/2012 3:22:01 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		well this thread has certainly been interesting for sure.

however, i do find some of what has been said disturbing. the more i've thought about the original op the more i've thought 'why would you even want to?'

surely the person you are presented with at the start is what you are attracted to. so why on earth would you want their ego to be a carbon copy of your own? that to me is a very wrong thing to want. not only that, but i would consider the person who would allow me to do that to them to be weak. in which case i would find them highly unattractive. i realise that i am not perfect, in which case why would i want someone to compound what is wrong with me? i want the person i am with to be their own person, and i want to bolster their ego not tear it down.

my ego is my own, small as it may be, but i am not giving it up for anyone. nore is my ego easily flattered. i don't care what most people think of me on any basis. however, if my playmate tried to undo my ego as it is i would find it extremely hurtful. nore could i defer to someone without resenting them if i thought they were wrong. i'd see this as being very damaging to myself, so why would i want to do it to another?

support and bolster (where needed) the ego of your person, but to change it to be a carbon copy of your own is wrong.

needles


_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Leggo my ego*! Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.129