RE: Leggo my ego*! (Full Version)

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needlesandpins -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 3:53:36 PM)

i've seen the scars on my friend from tattoo removal, it's not good in the least. i seriously doubt anything is getting rid of those scars. i'm covered in scars too from surgury, accidents, health problems and such, but i'm not about to do something to my body for the sake of some guy no matter what i think of him.

i'm not sure i understand it right where you are coming from. my pity side comes from the fact that you are coming over in this like a person who has no self worth at all. that you are too weak to cope as a single human being, and who is damaged. because of that it then comes over as though Kana is taking total advantage of that for his own egotistical gain. that is what the objection throughout the thread is about. right now you are not coming over to me as a person with a healthy self image, and ego to start with. you sound more like you needed professional help to sort you out first.

i should have thought that a Dominant's role is to make sure his/her 'slave' can fend/think for themselves. thinking about the being alone part is not wishing it to happen, it's fore thought because it's often the reality. if i were the Dom i'd hate to think i'd left a shell behind that couldn't cope without me. in fact i'd think it down right irresponsible.

i don't know what else to think on the subject.

needles



littlewonder -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 4:00:05 PM)

quote:

you are coming over in this like a person who has no self worth at all
.

I never did...until I met Master and he instilled that in me and now I feel stronger than I ever have in my entire life thanks to him.
quote:


that you are too weak to cope as a single human being,


You'd be right. I hated hated hated being single. It fucking sucked. I give my all to my man and my relationship. I don't look for a way out and if times are bad I don't walk away, no matter how bad it is. Have you ever lost a husband? If you have my condolences. For me I died inside when he died. I felt zero, zilch, nada...call me dead for what it was worth.

I'd feel that way about Master because he means just as much to me as did my husband. We've been together for 6 years, known each other for longer. The only difference is I don't have a chld to him but for all intents and purposes we may as well be married. We tell each other all the time we're like an old married couple still making googly eyes at each other lol.

quote:

and who is damaged.


We're all damaged whether we admit it or not.

quote:

because of that it then comes over as though Kana is taking total advantage of that for his own egotistical gain.


I hope so. He deserves it and well.....it's fucking HOT! We get off on it and he should take advantage of me. Why else own a slave? LOL




ResidentSadist -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 4:15:37 PM)

little,

From your replies I see that you revel in surrender and truly get what I perceive as the root of M/s dynamics. It is pleasure to read your replies and from what I know of Kana on these forums, I expect you will both have a great adventure together. Thank you for sharing so much of your perspectives.

BitaTruble has certainly given us all a fertile playground to compare our many viewpoints on a deep subject. I see many points of view trying to bridge the gaps between surrender and self image. It's nice to see so many step up to plate from all perspectives to hash out this ego surrender thing and dissect it into tangible and bite sized replies. It seems things are boiling down to control issues about self image and that is getting interesting to me.

Thank you for sharing your views of self, surrender and slavery.

With respect,
Kalon Eric



samdarella -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 4:16:29 PM)

I wish I wasn't working and had time to join in on this lively discussion. I might dig deep and find an original thought in my girlie head that ResidentSadist has allowed me to keep. Or maybe He just hasn't had time to suck my ego dry yet.



needlesandpins -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 4:20:30 PM)

yes i lost the man i loved the most in my life....i lost him in more ways than just death, but death eventually. it breaks my heart every day to think of him.

also the man i called my husband for 16 years, but not to death. although i never thought we would split, and neither did anyway else. right now though i think i'm going through the hardest time of my life, it's a bitch and i'm hating it. but because i am the person i am i will work through it, and i'll be stronger because of it. i have people close to me to talk to, but none of them are in a position to offer me the help i need.....i'm on my own doing this, and fighting every single day to cope with it. it's damned hard, but it's what i do. i'm grateful to me people for listening to me when i need them, but no-one is going to live my life for me.

i kinda see where you are coming from, but i'm still mixed on it. thanks though for being so open!

needles



littlewonder -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 4:25:01 PM)

I've really enjoyed this thread a lot. It has been interesting to read the different viewpoints and I understand both sides. I just cannot live under anything less than what I am now and have always been.

Surrender for me is the most awesome feeling in the world! Especially with someone like Master when I can let go completely and freely. But really the whole ego thing, being the religious person that I am, the ego is pride which is not a good thing to have. I know these days we hear a lot that one should take pride in themselves and pride is all that matters but I don't become ensnared in that. My values, Master's values, are different from that and so we live by our values. Master and I have this talk about pride aaaalll the time especially when I start to rant about something someone did to me or something about me and he just starts to laugh and will say something along the lines of "have you checked your pride lately?" lol. Yeah it sucks when he calls me out on things. ggrrr. Not really. Keeps me in line right where I should be....humble and grateful.






GotSteel -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 4:25:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I don't have a monkey in this brawl.


Monkey brawl, sweet!



[image]local://upfiles/566126/279E33D6C9434683B738AD03500F8A60.jpg[/image]



littlewonder -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 4:35:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

yes i lost the man i loved the most in my life....i lost him in more ways than just death, but death eventually. it breaks my heart every day to think of him.

also the man i called my husband for 16 years, but not to death. although i never thought we would split, and neither did anyway else. right now though i think i'm going through the hardest time of my life, it's a bitch and i'm hating it. but because i am the person i am i will work through it, and i'll be stronger because of it. i have people close to me to talk to, but none of them are in a position to offer me the help i need.....i'm on my own doing this, and fighting every single day to cope with it. it's damned hard, but it's what i do. i'm grateful to me people for listening to me when i need them, but no-one is going to live my life for me.

i kinda see where you are coming from, but i'm still mixed on it. thanks though for being so open!

needles



I'm proud <oh god...save me...strike me with lightning lol. This pride doesn't count right?> of our relationshp. So I have nothing to hide. I enjoy discussing it and our love for one another.

Again my condolences for your losses even though they were not through death. For me though I just was walking around like a zombie...there physically but that was it. Then another relationship after that that was horrible because I was just looking for someone, anyone just to feel something again. That didn't work because we were not compatible at all in any way and it left me not only alone and still like a zombie but now also angry and bitter.

So yeah, I give Master every single credit for getting me through all this, for helping me with my daughter, for everything I have today. he's been literally....a Godsend. Why would I not give my all to him??

I'm not picking on your or anything needlesandpins. We just simply have different life experiences. You have your beliefs and we have ours.



DesFIP -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 5:00:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I can’t imagine a person or situation that wants to “strip away enjoyment”? How can you lose your “base”, are you the unstable fragile women RemoteUser imagines when he posts his comments?




In many ways, yes.

I know it's fashionable to talk about all subs are these incredibly powerful, empowered and strong women. I'm not.

As far as stripping away enjoyment, if the only way she knows if something is good or bad is once you rule on it, then what happens to things you know declaim shouldn't be enjoyed. You don't like chick flicks and they are her guilty pleasure. She can't like them anymore because you disapprove of them. If this happens often enough, then yes, she would be afraid to enjoy something for herself because that's her choice, her ego. Not yours.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 5:33:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: samdarella

I wish I wasn't working and had time to join in on this lively discussion. I might dig deep and find an original thought in my girlie head that ResidentSadist has allowed me to keep. Or maybe He just hasn't had time to suck my ego dry yet.


sam is a my slave in training. She has a healthy ego and self image. She has good balanced life, emotionally, mentally and financially stable with a fruitful career, a home, and car of her own. She had a nice relationship and was someone else’s unicorn to a Dom couple when I first met her. But she has given herself to me, surrendered to my will. I quote. “you lead, I will follow”.

She isn’t broken. She doesn’t need fixing. She isn’t a victim and I am not a monster. Yet as her sadistic Master, being what some of you call a monster would only serve to make things even hotter between us.

She will give up her home, her job and relocate when the time comes. Many people associate their self image, their self worth to their career, home and possessions. That is an extension of ego and she will give it up for me.

She has already given up many rights in order to “feel” what it means to be property. I am pretty sure that she feels more beautiful being able to see herself through my eyes. I am also sure that I have the to power to crush her happiness with my rejection or disapproval. She is healthy in mind so I don’t think my rejection would crush her self image for long, make her feel ugly or useless for the rest of life, but I think would ruin her day for sure. After all, it is only in my eyes and she gave me that power. If I abuse that power becoming the destructive monster some of you portray with all your “what ifs”, she will undoubtedly take that power back and adjust her self image accordingly.

We have a power exchange. It is only valid and omnipotent as long as both of us recognize that exchange. We have rituals that reinforce that exchange daily. We choose a BDSM lifestyle relationship, there are spankings in the mornings, and kneeling, and eating dinner at my feet, sleeping on a chain and that stuff we all do to reinforce our own particular style of BDSM relationships.

I am already instilled in her ego and self image feedback system. I was polite when I met her. I informed her I was installing myself in her ego and gratification systems. I told her that what I was doing was to get her addicted to me so she feels like she needs me. And she does . . . as do I need her. When you teach someone to satisfy your soul, they hold a powerful key and it works both ways, just like trust and love.

Giving each other this power is binding. Don’t fool yourself, both ends of that leash are binding. Some think the collar is the end all to power and sacrifice, but the handle of the leash holds an equal duty and addicting allure. This is the crux of my blind spot in understanding what you guys say about monsters doing all that "what if" stuff. I see it as a two way street and do not understand the unfounded fears you propose which to me look like you only feel the collar is binding, not the leash handle. You want capture a man’s passion? Give him absolute power over you and watch him try to resist using it or using you.

Because of the trust and compatibility we are fast falling in love. It is a sickly sweet side effect. She smiles in her sleep and wakes up happy. So do I, but don’t tell anyone, it might ruin my street cred, We are so cute sometimes it makes us laugh at ourselves.

So there I am, out on tiles for you all to dissect. My ego function, my heart, my passions and my love. I control her and in doing so, I take responsibility for her, her happiness and well being. She goes to bed every night feeling well loved, well fed, well fucked and beautiful, so do I.

I have no doubt I am deeply instilled in her self image and feedback system.

Now all that is really picturesque… but to get to the grit, the opposing views, I give you this. While training her dog, using the same feedback systems I use on her, she said, “I’m no different than the dog” while I was doling out the appropriate “good girl” accolades to the damn dog. My first thought was “I’m busted”… Maybe you can link that up to opposing views and your perspectives on holding control of your own self image and shed some light on those views?



littlewonder -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 6:12:48 PM)

quote:

Give him absolute power over you and watch him try to resist using it or using you.


Oh yeah! I hate to sound like Paris Hilton but, that's hot! LOL

quote:

Because of the trust and compatibility we are fast falling in love. It is a sickly sweet side effect. She smiles in her sleep and wakes up happy. So do I, but don’t tell anyone, it might ruin my street cred, We are so cute sometimes it makes us laugh at ourselves.


Are you two also going to become the old "married" couple still making googly eyes at each other like us? LOL I'm happy for you both though.

quote:

I’m no different than the dog” while I was doling out the appropriate “good girl” accolades to the damn dog. My first thought was “I’m busted”


Doh!

Master makes no qualms of using such techniques on me and to be honest, it makes me melt when he does lol.



BitaTruble -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 8:31:08 PM)

This thread has wandered to some pretty cool places and I see a lot of passion from a lot of people.

My POV - My body: If it functions fairly efficiently, I'm going to appreciate it and if it sometimes fails I'll try to get it fixed and if I can't get it fixed, I'll learn to live with it. Many (most?) people don't seem to have much truble with top-types being in control of bottom-types in the corporeal realm... so long as it falls within 'acceptable' parameters. Give a pinky to your dominant and you get to wear the crazy wacky-waffle label. I get the degree thing.

Degrees, though, are pretty subjective and I don't pay much attention to them given we're all worm food in the end. Have you ever been flogged? How much of your skin are you losing with every lash? You grow new skin.. so no worries to give up a little bit of what is going to come back. Over-time, maybe it won't come back as quickly or maybe you'll have rubbed a raw spot but the sacrifice is small, the reward high. Most folks don't have a problem with flogging because it meets an acceptable degree of sacrifice. You are still allowing pieces of your body to be removed at the whim of your dominant or maybe because you are a bottom and actually negotiated to have it removed by your friendly, neighborhood top. Lines are everywhere and sometimes when you tilt your head they look kind of .. different.

If I die with 10 toes on.. that's good. If I die with 9 toes on.. that's bad.

Well, yanno, when I die, it sounds pretty freakin' bad whether I have nine or ten toes. I'm fucking dead. I can't image that's a good thing so I'm not going to keep count because it's a game I can't win. Do I want to die with 9 toes? I can think of worse things, but no, not really.. not unless there was significant reason and motivation behind it. Do I think it's important to die with 10 toes? Not really. Michael thinks it's important that I die with 10 toes. I don't get it, but that's okay. If he wants it to be 10, 10 it will be. I guess as long as he doesn't want it to be 11, it's a limit he has with which I can live. I think it would be fucking kick-ass awesome to bond and do a ritual removal with him but he does not. Ah well. We are not 100% compatible after all. High 90's at best.

My body is his to use (or not use) for his delight at his whim and in his service. Not many people around these forums are going to take issue with a dominant using their submissive partner in delightfully evil, wet and sexy ways. Not many would take issue with a dominant who wanted their slave to cook or clean or do the laundry. In the grand scheme, cooking, cleaning, fucking, spanking.. they tend towards the superficial or temporary to satisfy a need (cooking) or a want (fucking/playing). My body goes through the motions required in the moment to satisfy the priority of that moment. It will continue doing so until it doesn't then burn, baby, burn and spread my ashes center ring at the circus.

My mind is way more interesting than my body. I would venture to say it's one of the best parts of me. The one thing it doesn't seem to be able to do is wrap itself around the idea that one of the best parts of me is somehow off-limits to Michael. He won't take a single bone from me, something I am more than willing to give and he values my mind more than my body. He is to be trusted with my body. He takes better care of it than I do because I don't care as much about it given the end result of living. My mind is even more valuable to him than my body. That he takes such tender care of the latter is my assurance that he will take even more tender care of the former.

This thread has rocked for me. I thank you all for making it so.






BitaTruble -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 8:41:07 PM)

Oh, I had to add this.. Michael thinks I'm crazy. He doesn't have a Capn Save-a-Ho complex at all.. more like Capn Save-the-World. He figures that by keeping a tight hold of my leash, he can save the rest of the world from me.

Silly man. [;)]



littlewonder -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 10:15:03 PM)

hahaha...that's so funny! LOL

And yeah, I have to agree. My mind is something he takes great care of and forces me to take care of BECAUSE it's his. There are times I really don't want to and don't care, but he does and that's all that matters.



Kana -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 11:07:38 PM)

quote:

I've seen the scars on my friend from tattoo removal, it's not good in the least. i seriously doubt anything is getting rid of those scars. I'm covered in scars too from surgery, accidents, health problems and such, but I'm not about to do something to my body for the sake of some guy no matter what i think of him.

I'm not sure i understand it right where you are coming from. my pity side comes from the fact that you are coming over in this like a person who has no self worth at all. that you are too weak to cope as a single human being, and who is damaged. because of that it then comes over as though Kana is taking total advantage of that for his own egotistical gain. that is what the objection throughout the thread is about. right now you are not coming over to me as a person with a healthy self image, and ego to start with. you sound more like you needed professional help to sort you out first.

i should have thought that a Dominant's role is to make sure his/her 'slave' can fend/think for themselves. thinking about the being alone part is not wishing it to happen, it's fore thought because it's often the reality. if i were the Dom i'd hate to think i'd left a shell behind that couldn't cope without me. in fact i'd think it down right irresponsible.

i don't know what else to think on the subject.

needles


Comments
1-I'm not sure where the lilone got facial tats from. I'm for tongue and nose piercing, but nothing that would impede her ability to make a living or function within society w/o drawing stares.
I may be crazy, but I'm not flat out loopy, ya know.
The reason she trust me explicitly is because she knows, as in knowsknowsknows, that I would never make a serious decision that I thought would have negative long term consequences for her.

2-Chortles. No self worth? No self worth? If you met this gal in real life you would never think such a thing. What we are talking about is a fine,smart, vibrant, terrific, capable, intelligent, sensible woman. One who grew up in the freaking mountains of PA (Where winters get coooooooold) with no running water and power, eating food killed by hand. A woman who has taken about the hardest shots life can give, been raped, lost a husband, had serious health issues with her daughter, went through massive childhood medical trauma and kept going and not only that, somehow maintained her decency and her faith in humanity throughout. Yeah, this is no weakling or wimp we are talking about here. This is a woman who knows exactly how great and special she is. I can attest to that cuz I remind her of it every single day...repeatedly.

3-WTF is this takes advantage of shit? I'm sorry, but I abhor this line of thinking...and it's one that is far to prevalent on the boards. There is no victimization here. There ain't anyone helpless involved. We are two intelligent educated adults making rational informed decisions about whats good for us and our lives and how we like to live them. Frankly it's insulting and demeaning, not to me, but to the slaves who are viewed that way.
Personally I find it reprehensible. People here are adults. They are empowered to make their own decisions. Let em make em. And for Gods sake, maybe, just maybe, we should act like they might have a better clue whats good for them than some stranger on a forum board-you know, because they actually are living their life and know the intimate and important details herein, not the random poster.
Let's be very clear here. Kana don't take advantage of nobody. The gals I've played with-they walked in with eyes wide open, fully aware of who I was, what I like, what I intend and intended, and exactly what was gonna happen. And I don't fuck with crazy, or damaged goods. Been there, done that, won't go back no mater what. It's just too fucking painful.

4-I dunno if I agree that a dominants best task is to enable her to "fend for herself" but I can say that each and every day I challenge her to be the very best she that she can be, to transcend her limitations and grow to be a better person, a better friend, a better Mom, and a better slave.
My principle and primary responsibility, AFAIAC, is too see that she is a better person for knowing me.
If she isn't, well then I've failed her in the most fundamental way.
And ya know what?
She is.
Not due to me, she did all the work herself and I'm infinitely proud of her for having the courage to do so, but she always knew she had my support, my love, my time, my help and that I always had her back.
And doing that, why that left me a better man, so we, as always, are bettered by each other. Which is what loving people do. They grow together, as individuals and as a couple.
And if you can't fathom that, well, I pity you.



littlewonder -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 11:14:36 PM)

quote:

I'm not sure where the lilone got facial tats from.


Uumm...Master? The nose and the tongue are on the face <pointing> [8D]

and <I know I'm going to regret reminding him of this>, if I remember correctly, you were talking of a lip piercing to connect to the other piercings and a gag device of some sort. [&:]



Kana -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 11:20:58 PM)

But they're not ink.
Piercing come out, they regrow. Ink is forever. I don't want my slave to look like Mike Tyson.






You can now wipe your (tattooless) brow with relief...unless you are in a roundabout Freudian sorta way asking for one, in which case I will be happy to oblige...



ResidentSadist -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 11:26:03 PM)

Thanks . . . now I can't get the picture of Mike Tyson on Kana's leash out of my head. I'm cracking up over here.

[:)]



littlewonder -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 11:33:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

But they're not ink.
Piercing come out, they regrow. Ink is forever. I don't want my slave to look like Mike Tyson.






You can now wipe your (tattooless) brow with relief...unless you are in a roundabout Freudian sorta way asking for one, in which case I will be happy to oblige...



I thought I said piercings...I may be wrong though of course.....goes back to remedy the situation if she is wrong....>


aaawww....crap. My head was thinking piercings....my fingers obviously were thinking tattoos. lol....have nooooo idea why?!

But I still hold to what I said....if you wanted me to get tats, no matter where they are, you know I would....piercings, tats, whatever....does it really matter?

I mean when you were leaving me in tears and struggling by telling me you were gonna shave my head, I cried like a baby but told you if that's what you wanted then that's what you would have. Thank you LORD JESUS you left me off the hook on that one! LOL...evil evil mindfuck. [8D]



samdarella -> RE: Leggo my ego*! (7/21/2012 11:38:06 PM)

I apologize to everyone that I am not nearly as articulate as so many of you are. I also can't format my posts the same as I'm using my iPhone at work to write. Communicating thoughts and feelings is kind of new to me. I have become fairly good at face to face but expressing myself in writing is a little harder.

Everything ResidentSadist said is true. And I'm not agreeing because I am afraid of his disapproval if I don't. I might not tell Him He is wrong but I wouldn't agree when I don't. We do have a difference of opinion on some matters. And I am free to discuss them. He appreciates I have a brain and use it. Without a brain how could I figure out ways to please Him. I've never been nor will I ever be someone's doormat. I've taken care of myself for many years now. I lived a good life. I am a happy person. I don't need Him in order to be happy. But I am blissfully happy to need Him. He has been extremely effective at cultivating my addiction to Him.

I do feel more beautiful because of the way He sees me and his wonderful ability to share that. Reality is I'm middle-aged overweight woman with a pretty face and beautiful eyes. That's what I see when I look in the mirror. With or without makeup. But as seen through His eyes I am His sexy muse that has all the right combination of girlie parts to please Him. My ass and thighs to me are too big. But now I see them as the perfect size to handle his paddles, cane, straps etc. My pale skin which I never liked contrasts exquisitely with His marks. My tits which sag a bit are perfectly sized and shaped for His attentions. One day they will be adorned with jewelry because He says that's the only thing that could make them more beautiful. He likes to show off my girliest of girly parts because to Him it is perfect. Seeing myself through His eyes makes me feel sexy and beautiful. Because I feel sexy and beautiful, I am. Not to the world. But to Him. Being sexy makes me more sexual. Which pleases Him. And allows me the confidence to feel everything fully and intensely. Therefore I am even more responsive and satisfied. Making me a happier person and nicer to the world in general.

I am normally an introvert. But I am proud to be the girl of ResidentSadist. Pleasing Him and making Him proud of me takes over and I find myself more outgoing and pleasant. My shyness doesn't matter. Making Master proud is what matters. This doesn't make me less me. I've not lost who I was. I have become more me. The me I was always supposed to be.

I've been on CM for almost 2 years and never once wrote in a forum. Lol. And some are probably wishing I still hadn't. But Master once told me He would like to give back to CM in some way. Trying to express feelings and philosophies might contribute to others better understanding our way. Which by far isn't the only way. It's just the way that works best for us.

The funniest part of Him using the same training techniques on me as the dog is that I realized that I do respond in the same way as the dog. Hearing the words "good girl" makes my heart do a happy dance. I nuzzle Him and melt against Him when He pets me.

Last thing I wanted to say about this topic is that by surrendering my will and my ego to Him, by giving Him control, I am free to be me. And that's just fucking awesome. Who knew? Not me. It's a new experience and I'm living it to the max.



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