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angelikaJ -> RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? (7/21/2012 7:02:13 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SirVVV
Wow :D I thought this would stir up some raw emotions, but your responses exeeded my expectations.
I must say, after reading some restonses, it is no longer gerder specific. Guys appearently are just as capable of slapping the labels on people.
I have posed a simple, philosophical question: "Why do I have to prove that I am NOT something/someone.... before you even care to know what or who I am?" This was not intedned as whining about how all these mean women badger poor ol' me. It was not intended to rant generically about womens opiniont towards men either. Most of that opinion, unfortunately, is well deserved.
Most of the responsed do in deed prove my point. We are much to quick and eager to slap labels on people: whinning, ranting and so on.
Stop for a minute, listen... and I mean really listen to what a person has to say and then draw your own conclusions.
My intension was to bring attention to the simple fact that nowadays, when it comes to meeting new people, there is no longer any kind of presumption of innocence. Everybody is a creep, crook, asshole or whatever other label you have habdy at the time.
First: let's go back and look at something you put out there in your initial post on this thread.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SirVVV
It almost seems that half the women here are not looking for a man. They look for reasurance that all men are still assholes and they can go back to their friends to gripe about it.
Drawing broad negative generalisations, is not the way to begin a discussion that has a chance to move in a positive direction with both sides feeling heard.
You just did what you accused the women of doing and also what seems to be upsetting you about some of other responses to this thread.
However... moving along.
You have been here for 2 weeks.
Maybe there is something aggressive in your approach here that is putting the women you are contacting on the defensive?
When the man who became Master to me contacted me over 3 1/2 years ago, He sent a cmail that asked interesting questions.
Non-sexual, interesting questions about profile points.
I answered, and His return response again asked thoughtful, interesting questions about me as a person.
I met him within a month... and we are still together.
You say you are wondering what happened to the presumption of innocence?
I don't think that female-culture has changed in 10 years.
I think that 10 yrs of the internet has taught women that there are smart ways to do internet dating and dumb ways; and to assume everyone is trustworthy is not just naive but non-self-protective.
It has nothing to do with men being assholes.
It has everything to do with the fact that it is easy to create personas online that have not a thread's connection to the reality of the person writing it.
So, and this is being offered not with any kind of assumption and with respect, if you are getting indications from women that you are setting off their creep alarms, then maybe the issue isn't them, but you-- and maybe you need to re-evaluate how you are conducting yourself online and the types of messages you are sending out.
edit: clarity
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