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Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:10:25 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I keep coming across this phrase 'submission is a gift'. To me it is arrant nonsense, if submission is a gift then domination is a gift. At best submission is a loan while a relationship is sound.

The sub wouldn't be submitting if s/he isn't getting anything out of a relationship in return, it takes two to tango so basically what is happening is an exchange of favours.

Am I right or am I wrong?
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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:16:38 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I agree with you, it is an exchange of favors.  Thats why I don't submit to a vanilla guy, there is no exchange going on there.

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Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:18:39 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I've never seen submission as a special gift, if its part of your personality all you are doing is expressing and sharing your self with another.

Saying that though, when someone smiles at me, I see that as a gift....so perhaps any positive thing we share of ourselves is a gift to the recipient.

I know to be in a relationship with a dominant person is a gift to me..and they are just sharing themselves too...if it had to be manufactured and became too much like hard work sharing their dominant personality with me and so the person saw it like some gift they were giving that took some terrible great effort...I wouldnt see that as a gift at all but a burden they were laying me with..wouldnt be conducive to a healthy relationship in my book.



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Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:28:28 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		For the sake of discussion, MeatCleaver, I won’t answer with the obvious…no. A chicken or egg question this early in the morning making this rooster crow.

If a sub wants to look at is as a gift in box that she gives to me, I can accept that. It makes her feel better that she is giving me something valuable. Maybe it is her way of validating her service. In a way it is a gift even if it is one of her ingrained behavior. She chooses to give that behavior to me. If I don’t accept it, she may be walking around in a crowded, bustling place called life feeling more and more withdrawn with a gift box that becomes heavier and heavier.

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:28:55 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Hello meatcleaver,

No, I don't view it as a gift either....in fact the whole phrase makes me squirm.

agirl



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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:32:18 AM   
ExistentialSteel


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Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Hello meatcleaver,

No, I don't view it as a gift either....in fact the whole phrase makes me squirm.

agirl



Wow, we got to see you squirm. Meatcleaver, keep posting things like that. You are onto something here.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:41:26 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Hello meatcleaver,

No, I don't view it as a gift either....in fact the whole phrase makes me squirm.

agirl



Wow, we got to see you squirm. Meatcleaver, keep posting things like that. You are onto something here.


Not much as good as seeing a beautiful woman squirm, agreed.
 
As for the OP.... I don't see it as a gift, because a gift is, or should, be a permanent thing, not a loan lol. But I do see what jali meant, as well, that it's something positive given to one, like a smile.

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:42:51 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Read my sigline, I'm a strong believer, it's not a gift.  Saying that "submission is a gift" is silly lifestyle speak.

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:43:37 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		To me, submission is just a natural aspect of my personality.
If it's a gift, then so is bitchiness, friendliness and so on and so on.
It's part of who I am, just as all the other parts of my personality are, 
and it definitely influences how I interact with people.
But no, it's not a "gift."

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:47:38 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
 
 
oh no - am I arrogant for posting those?
 
Submission IMO isnt a 'gift' to the dominant.  But it is a gift to me.  Just like I have a gift to paint.  I share it with those I love and respect and it is good to let others indulge in it's beauty, even if they may not always like the way it is presented.  Just like art.
But I am not about to rave about how great this gift is.  I wouldn't throw it into someones face either.  It is personal.  It is unique.
 
Peace and Rapture


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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 3:53:27 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

Thats why I don't submit to a vanilla guy, there is no exchange going on there.


That is a thought provoking line.

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For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:02:11 AM   
SirCumsSlut


Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I keep coming across this phrase 'submission is a gift'. To me it is arrant nonsense, if submission is a gift then domination is a gift. At best submission is a loan while a relationship is sound.

The sub wouldn't be submitting if s/he isn't getting anything out of a relationship in return, it takes two to tango so basically what is happening is an exchange of favours.

Am I right or am I wrong?


Agree with you to an extent...........Sir gifted me with his guidance and wisdom in order to release the submissive within me, and for that gift I will always thank the good Lord above for bringing Sir into my life...........my submission to him is not a loan.....He owns me body, heart, mind and soul, I will go to my grave as his slave as he will go to his as my Sir..........
 
The "gift" part to me is when you find that right One that can release the real inner you......and when that release is found, then yes it is a gift........a gift from a Master to his or her sub or slave

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His slut


"Your firm hand and compassionate heart are what guide me in my journey....I am Yours, Sir" His slut

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:04:28 AM   
sabswife


Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		i suppose i don't look at my submission is being a gift, as it is just me, who i am... nothing spectacular on that front because as a submissive i can't comprehend totally why it is supposed to be so special.  if that makes sense...?

on the flip side of this, to me, Dominance is a gift, my Dom enables me to complete who i am.  its something that i personally am incapable of, so i view it as a special talent, gift to Him, and to me.  so i suppose i could see how some view submission as a gift.

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"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."


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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:08:07 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I guess a gift is only a gift when its freely given without any expectation of anything in return.


_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:10:53 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		No, submission is not a gift.  It's part of my personality, what defines me as a person.  Doncha wanna hunt down and kill the person that made that line up?  I can see how some people think it's a gift though.  A submissive opens a door to the deepest parts of herself and invites her dominant in to share it with her.  That's pretty special, because not many people get the invitation.  Of course, if things are as they should be, he does the same. 

No, it's not a gift, it's just sharing who you are.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:25:30 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Hello meatcleaver,

No, I don't view it as a gift either....in fact the whole phrase makes me squirm.

agirl



Wow, we got to see you squirm. Meatcleaver, keep posting things like that. You are onto something here.


I really must choose my words with more care......lol

agirl

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:31:15 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I keep coming across this phrase 'submission is a gift'. To me it is arrant nonsense, if submission is a gift then domination is a gift. At best submission is a loan while a relationship is sound.

The sub wouldn't be submitting if s/he isn't getting anything out of a relationship in return, it takes two to tango so basically what is happening is an exchange of favours.

Am I right or am I wrong?


I don't agree with you particulary often, but here is one of those rare occassions where I do.

"Submission is a gift"? Really? WTF happens to most gifts? The person it is given to smiles, pats the giver on the head a few days later the gift ends up at the back of the cupboard taken for granted for a couple of years before ending up down the charity shop!

My girl didn't give me a 'gift' of her submission.... 'gift' doesn't imply responcibility.... She offered her submission I TOOK UP the responcibility for that submission.

As you say meatie, an exchange with both partys benifiting from it.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:35:36 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I have to agree with you here it is not a gift, it is an exchange. To me people who carry on about it being a gift are like the wives who "give" you that occasional sex as a gift, when in reality that is also supposedly an exchange.

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Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:41:51 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I don't get that phrase either.  It isn't any more a gift than most other things.

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RE: Submission is a gift!!!??? - 6/9/2006 4:48:15 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		Submission is no gift.  That's my thought.  There are also many threads on this topic as to why/why not. 

Happy Friday y'all..

~smilezz~

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