RE: Is it me, or is this common?

RE: Is it me, or is this common? (Full Version)

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AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 4:09:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: A50shadesOfGrey How to put this gentle, It is you! Now it is you only because you are seeking a bad boy and that is what you got. A Boy that is Bad to his women. Now you say that is not what you were seeking? I say deep inside , yes you were. Do not confuse B&D and S&M with picking a louse of a boy friend with the life style you are seeking. There are lots of men out here who can fill your fantisies. But maybe you eliminate them before meeting them because of their hair color, eye color, size of their dick, who knows except you. I am not slamming you besure of that. Just a little wisdom with a wake up call from a new friend if want really want one. I have my second bed room set up for any lady who wants to explore her 50 shades of Grey . How about you ? Do you want to explore your lust with out the heart ache ? Hmmm... let's see. All the women are hot and bothered for this kinky sex book, maybe if I go on a kinky sex website making reference to it and look around for those who might seem new/emotionally vulnerable/naive, I can pretend to be a friend with her best interests at heart and pick up some easy pussy! Win.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 4:31:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders quote: ORIGINAL: A50shadesOfGrey How to put this gentle, It is you! Now it is you only because you are seeking a bad boy and that is what you got. A Boy that is Bad to his women. Now you say that is not what you were seeking? I say deep inside , yes you were. Do not confuse B&D and S&M with picking a louse of a boy friend with the life style you are seeking. There are lots of men out here who can fill your fantisies. But maybe you eliminate them before meeting them because of their hair color, eye color, size of their dick, who knows except you. I am not slamming you besure of that. Just a little wisdom with a wake up call from a new friend if want really want one. I have my second bed room set up for any lady who wants to explore her 50 shades of Grey . How about you ? Do you want to explore your lust with out the heart ache ? Hmmm... let's see. All the women are hot and bothered for this kinky sex book, maybe if I go on a kinky sex website making reference to it and look around for those who might seem new/emotionally vulnerable/naive, I can pretend to be a friend with her best interests at heart and pick up some easy pussy! Win. And the utter cleverness of wiggling out of any commitment, he's such a good friend but hey, he warned her about "no heart ache, just lust". Since he's on about her previous partners and how she must have picked them (looks and dick size according to him and what a mistake that was) I have the sneaky feeling that he hasn't got much to offer in all those departments. The OP is 22, she's getting hit on by that smooth talking little lounge lizard in his 60's, why do I have the Family Guy tune stuck in my head and think about Herbert? Think the guy has a popsicle? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_(Family_Guy)

kalikshama -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 6:56:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Apparently, I'm special. He friend requested me. I'll try not to be jealous (of the new Mac he's going to send you without a doubt as part of the courtship ritual) and the iPhone and the transportation via helicopter and upgrade to first class and the closet full of new clothes

LadyConstanze -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 8:04:50 AM)
Got an iPhone, afraid of helicopters, too many clothes as it is, but the upgrades would be nice...

xssve -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 12:34:57 PM)
Shades is right it is you, there something wrong with you - absolutely, you suck at picking guys. On the plus side, you're probably too good for those assholes anyway, so consider it a victory. From your profile, it sounds like you're a bit on the plump side, nothing wrong with that, but we do live in a shallow world, we all want to be loved for ourselves, but it doesn't happen that frequently - I just turned 50, and in 50 years it' s maybe happened twice, I'm still waiting too. So my advice is, rather than give up, be yourself and have yourself some fun while you wait. You might try a Brother, they're not as picky, they like big girls, and they're not all gangsters, plenty of geeks and nerds, poindexters adn mommas boys even, believe it or not. Most of 'em pretty average at worst, and many downright sophisticated, graceful and cultured, just throwing it out there. Just remember, you suck at picking 'em, so maybe quit doing whatever it is you usually do, maybe get some girlfriends to hook you up - and you have to take some responsibility: you want instant gratification? Guess what, so does everybody else. And online is basically like picking people at random in the street - try SexyThoughts advice: "You want a relationship? You need three things; proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other. " I'm not saying it can't work, it can and does, but click fever is common, and the BBD (The Bigger Better Deal) is always just oooone more click away - don't tell me you didn't check out more profiles while you were dating these guys, that just how it goes. In short, try looking closer to home, familiarity breeds - work, where you eat out, or drink coffee, the library - people who go to the same places you like to go are people who like doing the same things you do, right? So it might be something to try with your online profile, not specific places, but generally, kinds of places you frequent. Just forget the bar, for that very reason: the people you meet in bars, are people who like to... go to the bar, lol. And if you don't go anywhere, then start, the more people you know the greater the statistical probability you'll get hooked up with dreamboy. Anyway, don't get too discouraged, he might be right under your nose and

sexyred1 -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 12:39:02 PM)
Rolls eyes at above post. Yes, of course tell her it is because you think she is too fat to get a good guy. How incredibly offensive, "pick a brother, they are less picky"? Excellent advice. Blame her for the bad behavior of the men she has experienced. Jeez.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 12:40:55 PM)
"Try a brother they're not as picky". Wowser. Jeeebus on a fucking crumpet. Which is worse, the racism or the fat shaming? SMH.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 12:41:51 PM)
Nah, male ego, butthurt, trying to make somebody else miserable by pretending to give advice...

kalikshama -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 1:51:18 PM)
quote: Which is worse, the racism or the fat shaming? SMH. While his delivery absolutely sucked, it was my experience that white guys under 40 did care about body size more than men of color. I'm not noticing that now that I'm dating men over 40. I wouldn't call my black friends "less picky" - I'd say they didn't view Barbie as an ideal.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 1:55:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thineSpirit I was 19 in 1988-89 and i remember how the girls around Miami, Florida were then about their sexuality, they weren't exactly shy, but they weren't giving it away either...add it all up Miami, the 80s, late teens...sex. Well, I kinda hung around with Women a little older anyway, but i completely understand what this letter is about, we had the same scare back then, especially back in Dade County Florida. Miami was much better 10 years earlier. Trust me.[8D]

kalikshama -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 1:57:56 PM)
Hilly, maybe you can explain what his post had to do with the OP? Cuz it escaped me.

OsideGirl -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 2:06:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam quote: ORIGINAL: thineSpirit I was 19 in 1988-89 and i remember how the girls around Miami, Florida were then about their sexuality, they weren't exactly shy, but they weren't giving it away either...add it all up Miami, the 80s, late teens...sex. Well, I kinda hung around with Women a little older anyway, but i completely understand what this letter is about, we had the same scare back then, especially back in Dade County Florida. Miami was much better 10 years earlier. Trust me.[8D] I left Miami (Coral Gables, actually) in 1989, that explains the decline..... [;)]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 2:08:52 PM)
Coral Gables! ~Venetian Pool love~

OsideGirl -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 2:18:35 PM)
Yeah, my jaw dropped the first time I saw that....

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 4:56:21 PM)
Look this ain't about having SEX too soon or waiting too long. This ain't about that at all. What's it about are the choices these guys made and those choices were to walk away. It's was their choice not yours. Which Understandable so... sucks to be on the relieving end of. Dating can be a heartless challenge in life. There will be disappointments, let downs and hell even heartbreak. The good news is that sooner or later the right one will come along.

GotSteel -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 6:19:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GlowingEye The first time we'd been together for about 8 months, this most recent was shorter, but no less explicitly exclusive. Eight months no sex is going to be a deal breaker for a lot of people. You're in an age range where people are generally going to expect sex as part of going steady long term. Unfortunately, you're also in an age range where plenty of guys still aren't going to be very good at relationship communication. In terms of things you can do to have better luck next time, I don't have great advice for you. Best I can say is be very explicit not just about the going steady but also about the no sex, very very explicit about the no sex. You'll probably still end up with guys running for it but hopefully it will weed out the ones who won't be able to deal with the no sex sooner rather than later.

littlewonder -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/26/2012 7:33:47 PM)
When you are getting to know these guys during the dating stage, look for a guy who shares your same values system. If you don't want to have sex because it's a religious thing or you want to wait until married or something like that, then start dating men who fit that profile. Look for men who share your values and your morals, not just some guy who has the same kinks as you or some guy who is cute. You need to really get to know a man and asking these questions of him and talking to find out what qualities you both share before committing to each other. Just don't go with some guy who says "yeah, I'm ok with that". That is code for "I can change your mind. If you don't then I'm outta here!".

kalikshama -> RE: Is it me, or is this common? (7/27/2012 8:23:56 AM)
Great post! I'd like to add: - Don't ask leading questions that let him know what answer you want to hear. - Be concerned if his CM profile is entirely kink-based. - Ask if he has a profile on a vanilla date site. OKCupid has questions about values and the number of dates before sex. If someone's CM profile is all kink based but he has a well rounded profile on a vanilla site, that's one thing, but if he's only talking about kink on only kink sites, he's too one dimensional for me. Or doesn't express himself well in writing, which is also important to me.

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