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Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 4:36:33 AM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		I have been thinking alot lately (I do that) and i realized that now that I have kink in my life I don't think I could revert back to being "vanilla"
I'm not referring to play sessions or the Dynamic that comes along with it. I'm referring to the little every day things in my life that now have a certain "kink" twist to them.

My question to the forum populous is;

Now that you have it/ had it, could you go back to being "vanilla" or "normal"?


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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 4:59:15 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline 		i am now heading towards the late 50's and only found kink and the dynamic when i was 49 and at last i am me and happy no longer in my vanilla marriage but living happily with master and at last feel at peace with the world i could never go back to vanilla not sure what you mean by little everyday things that have kink but maybe all i do now is classed as kink based

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 5:12:56 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

I have been thinking alot lately (I do that) and i realized that now that I have kink in my life I don't think I could revert back to being "vanilla"
I'm not referring to play sessions or the Dynamic that comes along with it. I'm referring to the little every day things in my life that now have a certain "kink" twist to them.

My question to the forum populous is;

Now that you have it/ had it, could you go back to being "vanilla" or "normal"?



I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at here with asking about kink as it pertains to the "little things" instead of the dynamic. Care to explain further?

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 5:36:49 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Oh, having found it in my 20's I've had to come to the conclusion that I'm only really happy long-term in a relationship that has a D/s component to it.

On occasion I've given up the search for someone who is both personally and kink compatible - and I've regretted it every time.

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 5:54:34 AM   
xLaChienne


Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline 		The question makes the assumption that there was a time when it didn't exist in My relationships.

For Me, this is a normal relationship. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

It's not something that I found. It's something that put a name to how I already maneuvered and handled relationships and sex from My first one on.

I know it's very common but I've never entertained the idea of a traditional relationship. Either a prospective date was on board (had the potential to be) or it was a first and last date. I have rarely been attracted to the typical aggressive, alpha male energy in a romantic way so it's not been much of a dilemma for Me. A few times I've been tempted, and oh was the temptation delicious.

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 6:00:45 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		All my relationships have been very different there is no specific 'kink' thing that I need really. I do like to be with someone open and experiemental with sex, someone who talks about their fantasies. I will always come harder and faster when I am under the control of someone else, but people are the most important thing for me now. It used to be I wanted a person to control all of me, I think mostly out of a great fear of faliure and the idea that the only way someone would really want me is if I were to do as I was told otherwise I believed I would do the wrong thing. I got it too, I got someone who nurtured me and tortured me and in the end I grew as a person. I was encouraged in many of my relationships to think about what I wanted, and who I was. Now I am more confident than I have ever been, in a relationship with someone who wants to marry me. The BDSM is there with us but my desire for it comes from a very different place, now it is something to enhance not something I need to make me better.

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 6:20:51 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant
Now that you have it/ had it, could you go back to being "vanilla" or "normal"?

Nobody can go back to who we were yesterday. That being said, "yes".


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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
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officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 7:25:54 AM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

Now that you have it/ had it, could you go back to being "vanilla" or "normal"?
kink is a very small part of my life. My job is 'normal' and 'vanilla', most of my friends are 'normal' and 'vanilla', getting groceries, cleaning my house, browsing the aisles of my fav store are 'normal' and 'vanilla'. My life would be pretty boring without the 'normal' and 'vanilla' plus without my job, I'd be pretty poor and wanting 24/7 kink is not a legit excuse to live off the government tit.

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 7:37:26 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I used to think no, because this is just how I am wired, but I rethought that and now it is, yes, if I found someone and we were compatible in every other way. I have had all the kink in the world and none of it means anything if there is nothing else substantial behind it.

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 8:59:22 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Now that you have it/ had it, could you go back to being "vanilla" or "normal"?

I have never been normal, so there would be nothing to 'revert' back to.

My question to you is: why would you even worry about such a thing?

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 9:06:36 AM   
Moonlightmaddnes


Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline 		My husband and myself has always had some kink in our relationship, so there wouldn't be any normal to go back to. This is our normal.

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 9:21:29 AM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		Yes I could. Last night we discussed that it would have been a perfect day to stay in bed and snuggle. (Where he is, the temps were close to 3 digits. My weather included a thunderstorm that shook the windows & caused local power outages.) Once we are living together we plan on spending Sundays in bed watching football.

Uber kinkfest, eh?

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(in reply to lilmissdefiant)
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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 9:21:56 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm not sure what you mean by those little everyday things. My life is pretty much the same as it's always been. I still wash clothes, do the dishes, work, eat, sleep, run errands the same as always.

As for finding kink, I never "found" it. It's how I've always had sex with someone so I never quite get the whole "vanilla/kink" thing. So for me there's nothing to go back or forth too. If you're talking about missionary sex...yeah, sorry, I still enjoy it and prefer it.


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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 10:32:02 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Absolutely. I consider both kink and poly to be options, not requirements. If I hadn't been content with MP and the vanilla thing, I wouldn't have married him in the first place.



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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 11:22:17 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		fr

What I wrote back in 2008 still holds true, so Imma B Lazy and cut and paste what I wrote back then.

I've never experienced a personal, intimate relationship that was vanilla. My one long term non-kink relationship was still alternative in that it was a lesbian relationship. The idea that I have some notion, however, of what the future may hold for me does tend to make me giggle.

Bottom line, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Could be vanilla rapture or mucking around in the depths of depravity. I'm pretty much game for anything and just appreciate the joy of the ride I'm on.



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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 11:41:37 AM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		If I could be vanilla I would. It would make life so much easier.

Unfortunately I am not wired that way so, HELLO KINKY LADIES!

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 12:40:50 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

I have been thinking alot lately (I do that) and i realized that now that I have kink in my life I don't think I could revert back to being "vanilla"
I'm not referring to play sessions or the Dynamic that comes along with it. I'm referring to the little every day things in my life that now have a certain "kink" twist to them.

My question to the forum populous is;

Now that you have it/ had it, could you go back to being "vanilla" or "normal"?



I don't know what you mean by "little every day things." In reality, kink takes up a very small amount of my time, and most of my daily activities have no kink aspect to them at all.

Also, I have an issue with defining kink and vanilla in such black and white terms. Kink is a spectrum, not an absolute. Many if not most vanilla relationships have some kink aspects to them.

(in reply to lilmissdefiant)
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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 3:49:20 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Sorry, I kinda was always like this, sure my knowledge
and experience has grown over time but I was exposed
to some stuff when I was very young and it just sank
right in my little old brain. Having said that, even though
i've always been like this, I do consider myself very vanilla.
I probably wouldn't want to change anything.

PS.
Wow you are like tiny!
talk about funsized!

-ARIES

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530 DAYS

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 4:49:49 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

If I could be vanilla I would. It would make life so much easier.



Tell me about it.

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RE: Kink - now that you've found it - 7/23/2012 5:33:14 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		I've never really been vanilla (not relationship-wise)... but I guess you could say a lot of my life is vanilla since kink doesn't pervade my every movement.

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