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D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 7:57:50 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
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Seems to me W/we have forgotten to discuss BDSM itself. So, here's my question: Do Y/you seek a D/s or M/s relationship? How long have Y/you been seeking? What motivates Y/you?

pinkee

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 7:58:42 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I don't seek.

But I am open to all connections as long as it's not as a mother or a wife.

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:03:57 AM

OsideGirl

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I'm confused about what you're asking. BDSM and D/s-M/s are not the same things. Two are frequently engaged in at the same time within this community. But, I know people that engage in BDSM (bondage, discipline, Sado/masochism) and have nothing to do with D/s and some people that are heavily into D/s and never engage in BDSM.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:07:38 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

Seems to me W/we have forgotten to discuss BDSM itself. So, here's my question: Do Y/you seek a D/s or M/s relationship? How long have Y/you been seeking? What motivates Y/you?

pinkee

I am seeking a Ds relationship again that might evolve into a Ms one.

What motivates me is internal desires, experience with having multiple subs and slaves at the same time and the contentment that gave me, and the needs/desires of the people currently in my household.

My seeking isn't terribly active though, it is more like an openness to possibilities with limits and guidelines. Collectively I think my household in general would be happier if we had two others -- but we are happy now so we won't compromise on what we want and risk damaging what we have built.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:08:52 AM

TxBadMan

Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

Seems to me W/we have forgotten to discuss BDSM itself. So, here's my question: Do Y/you seek a D/s or M/s relationship? How long have Y/you been seeking? What motivates Y/you?

pinkee

No. I do not actively seek a relationship of any kind. I never have. I perfer to let things happen on their own, without any pushing or shoves from me.

_____________________________

Chris

(in reply to pinkee)

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:09:51 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I don't seek.

But I am open to all connections as long as it's not as a mother or a wife.

Damn Em... You just broke my heart.... (puts away surprise engagement ring....)

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:10:52 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm confused about what you're asking. BDSM and D/s-M/s are not the same things. Two are frequently engaged in at the same time within this community. But, I know people that engage in BDSM (bondage, discipline, Sado/masochism) and have nothing to do with D/s and some people that are heavily into D/s and never engage in BDSM.

Most people define BDSM as "B&D, D/s, and SM" (it is a magical acronym where the letters represent multiple words). Then most people say that M/s is a subset of D/s. So when talking to most people D/s and M/s are part of BDSM.

Now, in the online world, the representation of D/s or M/s players far outweighs what you find in 3d space. I think it is because someone into Bondage or Sensation play is just never going to be satisfied with what you find online (except maybe as a source to actually meet people). I think that many of the D/s players see themselves as different from the B&D and S&M folks because of this. It is almost like BDSM is what you do in 3d and D/s is what you do online...

Taggard

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:13:07 AM

darkinshadows

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Hi OSIDE...

I think that pinkie is asking in what context is a persons search for BDSM.

See for me... M/s indicates more ownership. D/s isnt ownership but in BDSM there is always an exchange of power... Maybe Top/bottom may have been a more appropriate 'label'.

Just a thought.

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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:14:45 AM

accipitres

Posts: 70
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I am a slave, so I am into M/s (Master/slave) relationships. I am also a sadist, so I am into S & M (sadism and masochism).

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:18:04 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm confused about what you're asking. BDSM and D/s-M/s are not the same things. Two are frequently engaged in at the same time within this community. But, I know people that engage in BDSM (bondage, discipline, Sado/masochism) and have nothing to do with D/s and some people that are heavily into D/s and never engage in BDSM.

Most people define BDSM as "B&D, D/s, and SM" (it is a magical acronym where the letters represent multiple words). Then most people say that M/s is a subset of D/s. So when talking to most people D/s and M/s are part of BDSM.

Now, in the online world, the representation of D/s or M/s players far outweighs what you find in 3d space. I think it is because someone into Bondage or Sensation play is just never going to be satisfied with what you find online (except maybe as a source to actually meet people). I think that many of the D/s players see themselves as different from the B&D and S&M folks because of this. It is almost like BDSM is what you do in 3d and D/s is what you do online...

Taggard

I think you are right on the target, Taggard.

I find that folks who do Ds or Ms far outweigh others online too. Howver when I meet people in meatlife and see the books they buy and listen to them talk I note that most folks do BDSM as spice or an occasional thing.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:18:21 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
But I am open to all connections as long as it's not as a mother or a wife.

lol

I bet you get the responses, "When you get older you will change your mind" or "you just haven't found the right person yet". I used to get those responses all the time. Guess I have yet to reach that magic age.

kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:21:01 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Damn Em... You just broke my heart.... (puts away surprise engagement ring....)

I never said anything about being a fiance :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 8:22:53 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
I bet you get the responses, "When you get older you will change your mind" or "you just haven't found the right person yet". I used to get those responses all the time. Guess I have yet to reach that magic age.

kyra

LOL I used to a lot, but it doesn't come up in conversation as much anymore (I either hang around politer people or they just don't care). However, I will often caveat what I say with "I'm open to life changing my mind, but it's not where I see myself and it's not who I am now." This seems to shut them down for the most part.

I'm also blessed with a family who doesn't feel my job is to pop out babies for their pleasure or to somehow prove I'm a secure adult. They really DO understand that this is just who I am and I will do what I want. Plus my sister had grandkids so it takes pressure off me :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 9:04:06 AM

Ceyx

Posts: 89
Joined: 8/23/2005
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I'm just here to read the boards and talk, not to find a partner. I state as much in my profile on the other side, and have the absolute dearth of mail to show for it.

Well. It's that or the fact that I'm a big jerk. One of those.

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 9:15:17 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm confused about what you're asking. BDSM and D/s-M/s are not the same things. Two are frequently engaged in at the same time within this community. But, I know people that engage in BDSM (bondage, discipline, Sado/masochism) and have nothing to do with D/s and some people that are heavily into D/s and never engage in BDSM.

Most people define BDSM as "B&D, D/s, and SM" (it is a magical acronym where the letters represent multiple words). Then most people say that M/s is a subset of D/s. So when talking to most people D/s and M/s are part of BDSM.

Now, in the online world, the representation of D/s or M/s players far outweighs what you find in 3d space. I think it is because someone into Bondage or Sensation play is just never going to be satisfied with what you find online (except maybe as a source to actually meet people). I think that many of the D/s players see themselves as different from the B&D and S&M folks because of this. It is almost like BDSM is what you do in 3d and D/s is what you do online...

Taggard

Let me rephrase:

1. Do Y/you seek a D/s or M/s relationship?

2. Why?

3. How long have Y/you been seeking?

pinkee

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 9:23:46 AM

SuperatusMasculs

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As a Gentleman Dominant, I seek those who wish to submit to Control. Control is only gained through Trust, Respect, and Honor. Mental Seduction must precede any physical contact. D/s and M/s are those Controlled relationships, with B, D, S & M thrown in as levels of Physical Activity. What gets me off is Trust. The fact that as a Gentleman I am Trustworthy, and have conducted my self in such a manner as to have earned it. Implicit in the definition of Control is Trust. If you grant Control without first requiring Trust, then you walk a slippery slope, my friends.

Just my opinion...

Michael

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 9:24:29 AM

Sab

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Don't seek, didn't sought but found. :)

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 9:24:39 AM

MistressLorelei

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I am seeking a long-term D/s relationship. I find that there are far too many views of 'slave' to define if that's what I seek. In some cases yes, in others no way. So I will stick with the D/s definition. I am looking for a total power exchange type of relationship with a combination of darkness and light.

I have been looking for several months, and now, I don't know that I am 'looking' as much as observing. If I close my eyes I may not see it, but I will sense it all the more.

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 9:36:11 AM

accipitres

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Actually, you can get control through fear, not just through "Trust, Respect, and Honor."

Personally, I think trust is just another way of saying "I'm pretty sure you will behave the way I want you to" Where's the fun in that?

I much prefer the Trickster. But then, I'm weird

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RE: D/s and M/s - 6/9/2006 9:42:01 AM

Slipstreme

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Does I don't know qualify as a good answer? :P

I consider myself too new to the lifestyle to aspire to anything more than what I currently have. I will go with D/s or M/s if that is where the winds take me. I see relationships in general as an evolution of sorts. I just know I can never again settle for vanilla.

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