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A Small Rant - 7/25/2012 11:23:47 PM   
AlphaRedWolf


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/29/2012
Status: offline 		First If This is in the wrong place please tell me and move it.

Why does everyone delete so many of the messages unread without even looking at my profile, Out of the possibly 15 or 20 people that I wrote decently sized, and well written messages almost every single one of them was deleted unread, and almost no one looked at my profile after i sent them a message. What is up with that?

Edit: Wow just posting that was cathartic.

< Message edited by AlphaRedWolf -- 7/25/2012 11:24:21 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A Small Rant - 7/25/2012 11:48:25 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Forumites, how many does this make for this week??

I think we should keep a running tally.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to AlphaRedWolf)
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RE: A Small Rant - 7/25/2012 11:48:36 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/1385096/viewjournal.htm


You're welcome.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to AlphaRedWolf)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A Small Rant - 7/25/2012 11:50:45 PM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		1st off,this should have probably been posted in Off Topic[don't worry about moving it,the Mods will soon enough].2nd if you had searched the forum archives,you would have found hundred's of posts just like your's.You do know someone can read the first several lines in your email without opening it,right? Just do a little hover over your message and if they don't like it,they hit delete.Maybe you are too young/old/thin/heavy/just fill in the blank here for the ones you are messaging.This is also the internet,where all those pretty young things on those profiles might not be what/who they say they are.I'm not going to say all my messages get read,but I get maybe 1 or 2 out of 10 deleted and 1 to 3 out of 10 that don't ever get opened because I read their profiles and only message ones that seek at least most of the same things.Rome wasn't built in a day and you aren't going to find exactly what you want in less than 30 days on here.If you do,you are far luckier than most.

< Message edited by punisher440 -- 7/25/2012 11:55:39 PM >

(in reply to AlphaRedWolf)
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RE: A Small Rant - 7/25/2012 11:54:03 PM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Forumites, how many does this make for this week??

I think we should keep a running tally.


Should the anti fin-Dommes,fakes,disappearing Masters/Mistresses/Doms/Dommes/subs/slaves be lumped in with this one or all kept separately?

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A Small Rant - 7/25/2012 11:54:05 PM   
AlphaRedWolf


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/29/2012
Status: offline 		@Endivius That was actually really funny.

@Punisher Woops, I didn't even notice the search function.

(in reply to punisher440)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 12:31:43 AM   
mcbride


Posts: 333
Joined: 1/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaRedWolf
Why does everyone delete so many of the messages unread without even looking at my profile, Out of the possibly 15 or 20 people that I wrote decently sized, and well written messages almost every single one of them was deleted unread, and almost no one looked at my profile after i sent them a message. What is up with that?


Alpha, they do it because they're innundated with messages, and...because they can. Having said that, when it happens, I always feel as if I'm getting off lucky, having only invested a few paragraphs to find out that I'm dealing with someone who thinks they're so special that basic manners -- even the briefest 'no thanks' acknowledgement -- don't apply to them. You dodged a bullet or two.

(in reply to AlphaRedWolf)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 1:01:23 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		They do it because they dont like you.


quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaRedWolf

First If This is in the wrong place please tell me and move it.

Why does everyone delete so many of the messages unread without even looking at my profile, Out of the possibly 15 or 20 people that I wrote decently sized, and well written messages almost every single one of them was deleted unread, and almost no one looked at my profile after i sent them a message. What is up with that?

Edit: Wow just posting that was cathartic.



_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to AlphaRedWolf)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 2:51:14 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Just a thought, but you need to learn how to write in terms of making an impression in the reader.

1. Your profile states essentially, "I'm new. I'm monogamous. Ask me anything you want to know." That clearly states that you expect the submissive to take control of the conversation. Why would a submissive woman, who wants to give over control, want a man who cedes control of a conversation right off the bat?

2. Your post leaves off the points of what was in the messages you sent. Obviously, the messages didn't go over well - what were they?

To partially answer your question, a recipient can "read" the first few lines of a message by hovering her cursor over the message, and that does not count as "reading" it. So if she scans your message and then deletes it, it will be deleted unread.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 6:41:45 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

find out that I'm dealing with someone who thinks they're so special that basic manners -- even the briefest 'no thanks' acknowledgement -- don't apply to them.


So do you think it's bad manners to not reply to messages like this:

A christian slave? What is this? I shall banish your religion and pillage you from your weak keeper. Also, you will be forced to lose weight and improve appearance. I shall claim you next week to begin serving at my feet. You may lick my crumbs off the ground as a piggy diet.

you will stay on your hands and knees during the day until you've earned the right to stand

Not saying the OP writes like this but that his brethren is ruining it for the rest of you.

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(in reply to mcbride)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 6:50:09 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		If you PM (privately mail) me the username of the person who deleted you message and the message you sent her, I'll be happy to critique it.

Since you're new and 22, I suggest you start going to some TNG (The Next Generation) groups near you - fetlife is great for finding events and groups.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to AlphaRedWolf)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 7:27:28 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mcbride
I'm dealing with someone who thinks they're so special that basic manners -- even the briefest 'no thanks' acknowledgement -- don't apply to them.


The men here have taught the women that replying with "No thank you" will lead to:

1) Emails demanding an explaination

2) Emails calling us wannabes, fakes and not real submissives.

3) Emails saying we're fat, ugly, old and any other insult they can find to hurl at us.

I'm also going to add, that if you've ignored what that profile says...no one owes you a "no thank you" because you're so arrogant that you think you're the exception to what ever that person has requested.

So, if you have issues with our manners, you can thank your fellow "Dominants" for behaving like asses.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mcbride)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 8:09:46 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Just a thought, but you need to learn how to write in terms of making an impression in the reader.

1. Your profile states essentially, "I'm new. I'm monogamous. Ask me anything you want to know." That clearly states that you expect the submissive to take control of the conversation. Why would a submissive woman, who wants to give over control, want a man who cedes control of a conversation right off the bat?

2. Your post leaves off the points of what was in the messages you sent. Obviously, the messages didn't go over well - what were they?

To partially answer your question, a recipient can "read" the first few lines of a message by hovering her cursor over the message, and that does not count as "reading" it. So if she scans your message and then deletes it, it will be deleted unread.



I delete messages pretty much every day using this tidy function. It's a tremendous timesaver. As OsideGirl pointed out, a "no thank you" more often than not results in a barrage of insults, or a demand for explanation, followed by a barrage of insults. This, from supposed "submissives".

Move on, and listen to what DS is saying here.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 8:30:47 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		I can't wait for one of his BIG rants

- patiently awaits

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( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 8:48:27 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		~adores Divi~

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 8:56:30 AM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Forumites, how many does this make for this week??

I think we should keep a running tally.


You'd get somebody complaining to the mods that's a blacklist, though.


_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 9:51:22 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		I am happy that you feel better, Alpha.

The take home point is that you are not responsible for anothers decisions and to think you are can lead to ...angst.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 4:21:12 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaRedWolf

First If This is in the wrong place please tell me and move it.

Why does everyone delete so many of the messages unread without even looking at my profile, Out of the possibly 15 or 20 people that I wrote decently sized, and well written messages almost every single one of them was deleted unread, and almost no one looked at my profile after i sent them a message. What is up with that?

Edit: Wow just posting that was cathartic.


Maybe they're just not that into you.

(Damn, that sounds like a great book title...I'll be back in a month).

(in reply to AlphaRedWolf)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 4:53:32 PM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline 		I guess this is what you could call 50 Shades of Rejection.

_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to AlphaRedWolf)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A Small Rant - 7/26/2012 4:56:10 PM   
ReMakeYou


Posts: 147
Joined: 1/20/2012
Status: offline 		I think I've had one deleted unread in all my time here, and only a handful more that remained perpetually unread but undeleted in someone's inbox. You have to really be doing something wrong to not get at least a read's worth of curiosity. (That doesn't guarantee a response, or any followup after that, but improving is a huge step in the right direction.)

One other pointer on top of letting friendly people give you messaging etiquette. Read the profiles of other doms, both locally and in general. See what makes you roll your eyes after seeing it for the dozenth straight time, what seems incredibly dull, and what does a good job catching your interest. There's nothing wrong with borrowing good ideas, and everything right about learning from other peoples screwups.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 20
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