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Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 6:53:09 PM

AlisterLockland

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/27/2012
Status: offline

Are you fucking serious? I realize that I'm not exactly the most aesthetically pleasing man but seriously though what the hell is up with people?

I respect a subs, a slaves, and a switches right to say. "Ya know, so sorry but I'm just not into you for reasons x, y,and z."
My response usually consists of
"Ok cool sounds good. Have a wonderful day and I wish you the best luck in finding what your looking for." end, period, no more.

I'm in total awe and shock from the apparently how things work here though. Is sending a message that says "hello." followed by a question such as "Was wondering if you are still looking for a daddy." (to those who's profile says they are still looking) Is that such an offensive thing? More than that is saying simply "hello" a travesty? I choose to show some base human respect to a woman and don't get the damn courtacy returned to me? Is choosing to show respect to a woman until the point when you know her well enough to disrespect her so strange and outlandish? Maybe it is just me and I'm being unreasonable but isn't BDSM based in respect and trust before it is based in calling a humilation loving sub something along the lines of

(example) "a worthless cum sucking cunt who's sole purpose is to fuck me until she is crying, covered in cum, and used that is lucky I don't throw her away." (example)

You'll have to pardon me if I think there should be some connection between the two of us before I start degrading you to some sub-anthropoid creature.

To the people who agree that you should just jump into the degradation and/or believe that the physical is and should be the most important piece in a BDSM relation.

Go try mixing ammonia and Clorox

This is my personal rant. I hold nothing against the people who haven't/won't answer my messages. Like I said I'm not Fabio, I'm not man pretty. I know it, accept it, and live with it. Just show some respect.

To whoever agrees friend me
To those that don't -> Clorox+Ammonia=fantastic

< Message edited by AlisterLockland -- 8/3/2012 6:56:11 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:04:00 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

no response IS a response.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 2

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:05:06 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

Would you walk up to a woman in public and say, "Are you still looking for a Daddy"?

The fact that you are suggesting gassing people after ASSUMING they aren't into the way you look suggests you are a very angry man. Maybe that comes through, too?

You are starting off on the wrong foot.

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 3

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:11:37 PM

LanaDeVille

Posts: 209
Status: offline

Sigh. I started a paragraph, stared at it, and then realized that I don't have the energy.

Your approach is bad. Someone will be along shortly to tell you why.

< Message edited by LanaDeVille -- 8/3/2012 7:13:13 PM >

(in reply to hlen5)

Post #: 4

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:12:58 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanaDeVille

Sigh. I started a paragraph, stared at it, and then realized that I don't have the energy.

You approach is bad. Someone will be along shortly to tell you why.

I almost didn't post, too. Cross your fingers!!

(in reply to LanaDeVille)

Post #: 5

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:31:13 PM

AlisterLockland

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/27/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

no response IS a response.

re·sponse [ri-spons] Show IPA
noun
1.
an answer or reply, as in words or in some action.
2.
Biology . any behavior of a living organism that results from an external or internal stimulus.
3.
Ecclesiastical .
a.
a verse, sentence, phrase, or word said or sung by the choir or congregation in reply to the officiant. Compare versicle ( def. 2 ) .
b.
responsory.
4.
Bridge . a bid based on an evaluation of one's hand relative to the previous bid of one's partner.

in short lack of action is not a response.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Would you walk up to a woman in public and say, "Are you still looking for a Daddy"?

The fact that you are suggesting gassing people after ASSUMING they aren't into the way you look suggests you are a very angry man. Maybe that comes through, too?

You are starting off on the wrong foot.

True I wouldn't walk up to a woman in public and ask, "Are you still looking for a Daddy"? but on the other hand 1 this isn't public it is a site where like minded and kinked people come to commune and find someone. 2 I wouldn't expect a woman to come up to me in public and ask "Are you looking for a Submissive."

secondly you may be right. It gets tiring, taxing, repetitive and albeit annoying when you are looking for months for a submissive and the little feed back you get is usually tuned to physical. That's if I'm lucky enough to find someone willing to at least give me enough information to hopefully tweak my approach.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanaDeVille

Sigh. I started a paragraph, stared at it, and then realized that I don't have the energy.

Your approach is bad. Someone will be along shortly to tell you why.

I look forward to it. I'd love to learn what I'm doing wrong.

< Message edited by AlisterLockland -- 8/3/2012 7:32:52 PM >

(in reply to hlen5)

Post #: 6

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:36:37 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

I have a physical mail box outside my home. I have it painted pretty and it
compliments my home. There are only 6 houses on my street, but every day
(except Sunday) the postman delivers mail to this very pretty mailbox.
Sometimes the mail is important.
Sometimes it's just a friendly hello from a long distance relative.
And more often than not, it's unsolicited mail from some company who found out
I had a pretty mailbox at my address and they are trying to sell me something.

The point is, no one is obligated to respond if they aren't interested in the product.
And while it would be nice if everyone were to reply to every single piece of mail
they got, maybe some women just aren't comfortable with words enough to decline your offer.
I truly do not believe that people are being intentionally rude by not responding, they are
simply not willing to get in a confrontation or debate as to why they find no interest in you.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 7

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:38:14 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I hear ya on the definition of response, but unfortunately it is what it is, on the other side. Being someone who was raised with common decency it baffled me the number of people who couldn't take the time to say "no thanks" or what have you...However, being on this site for as long as I have, I see why some people don't. So take it with a grain of salt and move on.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 8

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:39:22 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Having a sucky attitude in a rant is acceptable.
However, you will get a more positive response if you are less negative.
That applies here, there and everywhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd9HrO1b7pk
Having established that, let's back up a bit shall we?

I have been Owned for over 3 years.
I met Him here.

How did He get my attention and consequently me?

He sent me a thoughtful email that asked interesting questions based on what I had written in my profile and journal.
None of them were the equivalent of "Are you still looking for a Daddy?"

quote:

Hi, are you still looking for a Daddy?

That (and I will try to explain kindly) has less panache than a bad line in a bar.

Submissives are not fetish delivery systems.

Neither are dominant partners.

I don't want to focus on how badly you botched your approach.

Instead, read this: For men: how to find a woman here
and then come back and tell us how you plan on changing your approach.

Sometimes we get hundreds of cmails a day.
We don't have time to answer every single one or two-liner that comes our way.

Write to us in such a way that makes it clear that you are not just looking for anybody, (unless of course you ARE just looking for any body).

Write in a way that engages us.
Your approach does not do that.

As for your looks, a warm smile and clean and neat appearance are more important that looking some standard of artificially perfect.

EDIT to add:

quote:

secondly you may be right. It gets tiring, taxing, repetitive and albeit annoying when you are looking for months for a submissive and the little feed back you get is usually tuned to physical. That's if I'm lucky enough to find someone willing to at least give me enough information to hopefully tweak my approach.

You have not been here for months; you joined on July 27, 2012.
That is one fucking week!

Be patient.
Be more patient than that even.

I joined in June 2007.
I met my One here in January 2009.
So I was here for 18 months before I found Mr Exceptional, who won my heart, body, mind and soul and is [my] Master now.

You have been here a week.
There are not any shortcuts.
CM does not provide a mail order service in which you list your preferences and *poof* there she is at your doorstep in 7-10 business days.
Take your time.

Best wishes.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 8/3/2012 7:50:51 PM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 9

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:39:59 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Thanks, poise, for saying that so much more graciously than I would have.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 10

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:44:05 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

If I filled out a questionnaire for a mortgage search organization, regardless of how many polite responses to that inquiry you receive, are you obligated to reply to each sender to say "thanks but no thanks"?

Do you respond to every viagra ad in your email inbox?

Every Nigerian prince who beseeches your assistance in getting his fortune out of the country?

No response (or a deleted unread) means they aren't interested. They don't respond because experience has told them that when they do so they either a) get called a fat/worthless cunt/bitch/whore or b) they aren't heard and the guy tries to push himself on you. By not responding, they avoid that ugliness.

Take it up with your brethren. They caused it.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 11

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:44:45 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Oh yeah, the third thread this week by a "Dominant" whining that women are rude when they don't reply.

OP, do you reply back to with a polite "no thank you" to you every piece of junk mail that you receive? You're talking about the equivalent of a solicitor knocking on the door. Just because you've knocked, doesn't mean I'm obligated to answer.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 12

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:45:05 PM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

I'm not exactly sure what you're on about but if it's that you're not getting a response why are you so convinced its because of looks? Are people coming out and saying that? Women on here are in short supply, if they're not interested many don't reply. When women do reply to say no thanks, the guys get pissy and abusive.

This site *is* public, the same rules apply, I hate being approached with kink and sex, I'd rather know who are you and why would I like to be with you outside of that? If you've written offering the SOS than why would I even write back? If you're out of my area why would i write back? If I've stated an age preference or some other preference and you don't fit it, why would i write back? Do you reply to every piece of junk mail you get in your mailbox or online? How about all the Viagra ads? Do you respond to each one to say why it is or is not needed?

You seem to have way too much invested here, go to a real life event instead and see how things go.

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 13

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:46:44 PM

kitkat105

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline

poise and angelikaj win!

To the OP: Settle down. Have a coffee. Take a deep breath. Then turn off the computer and get involved in your local kink community. Not only will you increase your chances of finding someone, you'll meet some awesome like-minded individuals who will become great friends!

_____________________________

"WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS!"

Odeen's spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

Secretary - ProSubs"R"Us

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 14

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:49:14 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

Think of this as a singles mixer. Start with small talk. Until you have piqued someone's interest enough to continue chatting with YOU personally, it IS a public site.

You've already inched up a little by being willing to change your approach. When I told LanaDeVille to cross her fingers, I was hoping you, the OP wouldn't respond with total vitriol (You slipped a little there with your reply to GreedyTop).

Keep that willing to learn attitude and try to follow the examples of the Doms on here that command respect. Good Luck!

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 15

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:49:19 PM

SpaceSpank

Posts: 244
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

Take it up with your brethren. They caused it.

This is the sad truth. And even when they delete or leave it in permanent unread, they will STILL get nasty messages from those to whom this was apparently a grave insult.

But to be on topic here... you can certainly adjust your approach to be better, but even if you do, it will not magically make them reply to you or even read it in the first place.

It may certainly suck that you took the time to write out a well crafted message to someone, hitting on key points in their profile, and really just put the time into it to show you are not just some slack jawed idiot looking to masturbate to their profile picture.... only to have it deleted unread minutes after sending. But at the end of the day? Get over it, move on... maybe try sending them another message in a few weeks if you feel like it... but don't spam their inbox with messages, you will just wind up on ignore.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 16

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:50:14 PM

AlisterLockland

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/27/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I hear ya on the definition of response, but unfortunately it is what it is, on the other side. Being someone who was raised with common decency it baffled me the number of people who couldn't take the time to say "no thanks" or what have you...However, being on this site for as long as I have, I see why some people don't. So take it with a grain of salt and move on.

I honestly think I've made more of a troll of myself in this instance that I have meant to. I agree though. If for whatever reason I'm not their cup of tea, ok. I'm certainly not going to anything because I'm not liked by everyone. This rant has just been the culmination of many months of looking to the same ends. And in the end it has been a very beneficial endeavor. I hope :D

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Having a sucky attitude in a rant is acceptable.
However, you will get a more positive response if you are less negative.
That applies here, there and everywhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd9HrO1b7pk
Having established that, let's back up a bit shall we?

I have been Owned for over 3 years.
I met Him here.

How did He get my attention and consequently me?

He sent me a thoughtful email that asked interesting questions based on what I had written in my profile and journal.
None of them were the equivalent of "Are you still looking for a Daddy?"

quote:

Hi, are you still looking for a Daddy?

That (and I will try to explain kindly) has less panache than a bad line in a bar.

Submissives are not fetish delivery systems.

Neither are dominant partners.

I don't want to focus on how badly you botched your approach.

Instead, read this: For men: how to find a woman here
and then come back and tell us how you plan on changing your approach.

Sometimes we get hundreds of cmails a day.
We don't have time to answer every single one or two-liner that comes our way.

Write to us in such a way that makes it clear that you are not just looking for anybody, (unless of course you ARE just looking for any body).

Write in a way that engages us.
Your approach does not do that.

As for your looks, a warm smile and clean and neat appearance are more important that looking some standard of artificially perfect.

Best wishes.

Thank you. Though I'm not so great at homework. Thank you for the information and time

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 17

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:51:16 PM

MasterG2kTR

Posts: 6677
Joined: 8/7/2004
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline

Great....another whiner. Man up and grow a pair...then move on.

Not getting a response is just like when I hang up on telemarketers. I have no obligation whatsoever to even respond with a "no thanks".

(in reply to kitkat105)

Post #: 18

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:56:53 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlisterLockland

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I hear ya on the definition of response, but unfortunately it is what it is, on the other side. Being someone who was raised with common decency it baffled me the number of people who couldn't take the time to say "no thanks" or what have you...However, being on this site for as long as I have, I see why some people don't. So take it with a grain of salt and move on.

I honestly think I've made more of a troll of myself in this instance that I have meant to. I agree though. If for whatever reason I'm not their cup of tea, ok. I'm certainly not going to anything because I'm not liked by everyone. This rant has just been the culmination of many months of looking to the same ends. And in the end it has been a very beneficial endeavor. I hope :D

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Having a sucky attitude in a rant is acceptable.
However, you will get a more positive response if you are less negative.
That applies here, there and everywhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd9HrO1b7pk
Having established that, let's back up a bit shall we?

I have been Owned for over 3 years.
I met Him here.

How did He get my attention and consequently me?

He sent me a thoughtful email that asked interesting questions based on what I had written in my profile and journal.
None of them were the equivalent of "Are you still looking for a Daddy?"

quote:

Hi, are you still looking for a Daddy?

That (and I will try to explain kindly) has less panache than a bad line in a bar.

Submissives are not fetish delivery systems.

Neither are dominant partners.

I don't want to focus on how badly you botched your approach.

Instead, read this: For men: how to find a woman here
and then come back and tell us how you plan on changing your approach.

Sometimes we get hundreds of cmails a day.
We don't have time to answer every single one or two-liner that comes our way.

Write to us in such a way that makes it clear that you are not just looking for anybody, (unless of course you ARE just looking for any body).

Write in a way that engages us.
Your approach does not do that.

As for your looks, a warm smile and clean and neat appearance are more important that looking some standard of artificially perfect.

Best wishes.

Thank you. Though I'm not so great at homework. Thank you for the information and time

You are likely to get out of it what you put into it.

You might want to try to remember that: a lot of things in life work that way.

If you choose to be lazy then do not be surprised when you get a D on a paper or have trouble meeting people to perhaps begin a relationship with.
And if you are lazy, most relationships are not sustained for very long.

Your choice.

Also, take a chill pill: you joined a week ago.

Ranting after a just a week of no responses to a very lazy approach is kind of over the top.

This process: seeking someone who is worth being sought takes awhile.

edit: missing o

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 8/3/2012 7:58:05 PM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 19

RE: Personal Rant - 8/3/2012 7:59:07 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlisterLockland
Thank you. Though I'm not so great at homework. Thank you for the information and time

Ah. That tells me all I need to know. Good luck with that.

(From Cynthia, who did lots and lots of fracking homework...and after almost ten years r/t in the lifestyle...is STILL doing lotsa homework.)

(in reply to AlisterLockland)

Post #: 20

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