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xssve -> RE: Sluts and Punishment (8/4/2012 9:38:34 PM)
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Well I'll just have to give you my take on the whole objectification/humiliation/punishment dynamic in general, which I've been forced to give some thought to, as my sub has expressed some interest in certain aspects of it, and I make no claims to being a sadist - but I think generally, punishment first and foremost is cathartic, possibly for much the same reason gang initiation involves a beatdown - it tests your mettle, it means you have the strength to endure the rough stuff, and for the intate, there is a certain satisfaction in merely surviving: it really unlocks your survival instincts, and there is something inherently heroic in fighting a fight you have no possible hope of winning.
BDSM can be pretty rough, and the physical aspect is really the least of it - teenager kill themselves over being called sluts, it takes a pretty tough mind to face up to the public approbation you might quite possibly face for merely doing what comes natural, given that the mostly Christian controlled dialogue concerning morality typically centers around the fear of death, symbolized by the anus, but besides Christians (or really, Calvinists, which isn't really quite the same thing), there are feminists, the retentive petite Bourgeoisie (yuppies), blah,blah, etc, etc, basically a myriad of diverse social groups with ideologies deeply and often violently opposed to anybody having a good time, and quite outspoken about it, who will engage in objectification, humiliation, and even physical violence with a sense of absolute entitlement on the flimsiest of pretexts, and to whom the concept of obtaining prior consent before doing so is utterly alien.
This can, to put it bluntly, fuck with your head - and they start getting the hooks in early - its enormously stressful, serial killers often come from strict religious households, and that is just not natural- the bar is set inhumanly high, and basically, people like to fuck, messy and undignified as it is, duh - we would not be here otherwise.
So much for any empirical definition of "sluttiness", it's subjective, comparative, and relative - at best one might narrow it down to "promiscuous", which suggest certain potential risk factors, but otherwise mostly an affront to control schemes, breeding monopolies, etc., the usual reproductive politics, which lean heavily on social /verbal coercion.
Anyway, so given that there is no generality that apples universally in terms of punishment, one is left with quite a number of possible motives for desiring punishment, which might include everything from proving you got the balls, to expiating irrational guilt, adn probably about a dozen other things Ive thought of, and possibly several dozen things that haven't even occurred to me - all we can say from the masochist POV, is that if it feels good, do it.
From the sadists POV, I really cant say - certainly, anything that excites ones partner is a big turn on for most folks, and being the catalyst for a subs catharsis is something we might be willing to suffer for - i.e., not all guys really like being mean to girls but it turns them on - it just does - there is some whole aspect of feminine psychology that embraces suffering, y'all got some kind of martyr complex - maybe it's about childbirth, a physically demanding but spiritually rewarding (usually) experience, and BDSM is sort of symbolic/ritualistic thing that satisfies whatever deep seated psychological need women have to get knocked up, even though it's a huge pain in the ass.
Anyway, by the same token, guys might feel a little guilty about making you go though all that, knowing your might be ridiculed for being so cool about how weird we are and getting weird with us - who knows? Guilt is psychic pain, and for guys, the usual response to someone hurting us is to hurt them back, which could turn into an unhealthy cycle if one is not philosophical about it.
But it does mean that punishing somebody that gets off on it is kinda like eating your cake and having it too, and ultimately, the answer to your query, is that we're all fucked up, nothing to be done about it - I punish my slut for being such a slut, or because she's not slutty enough, depending on my mood, either way works, and if it doesn't work I'll do something else, as long as it sings.
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