RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (Full Version)

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mnottertail -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 7:29:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

What you are running into, (i.e., the blow jobs on command, etc) is what happens a lot of times on the net when it comes to the idea of training.


And you think I am incapable of speaking in my own behalf, all of a sudden LadyPact?

And you didn't even mention me in your post, and I've always spoken well of you.

Ron



sexyred1 -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 7:39:53 AM)

I hate the term "training" a submissive. I only need training to learn powerpoint or excel, or if I took up gymnastics suddenly.

I don't need to be trained into how to be with someone in a relationship. I call what happens within a particular relationship "learning" each other's likes and dislikes and any normal human being would just remember these things because they want their partner to be happy.

I agree that the word training is a euphemism for "make you do whatever I want sexually and for newbies, I will make them think that this is the only twue way to be submissive".



OsideGirl -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 7:44:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnownedCOBeauty
A Dom I was talking to recently sent me photos of a girl he had tied up, naked (Gah! As if I was interested!) and told me, "Oh, she's just some girl I'm training."


So, basically, he's sharing her photo all over the 'net. Nice.

Right there is a good reason to not allow photos to be taken in compromising positions.



kalikshama -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 7:47:08 AM)

FR -

the link in the OP of this thread demonstrates great training and natural talent: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4198596/tm.htm



DaddySatyr -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 8:04:35 AM)

Using FR (after reading the OP)

I have come to believe that "training", the way most use it, is pretty much as you've stated; "breaking" someone in order to get sex-on-demand. It's bunk.

While there are always things to learn about partners, I wouldn't call it "training".

I have had a few public meetings with a young lady, here, locally. Last night, we were talking and she said something that really just kind of struck me the wrong way.

I explained how I felt about what she said and we moved on.

Later on, I wanted to sort of apologize for coming off as harshly as I may have. Her response was: "Michael, you didn't like what I said. It won't happen again."

Did I "train" her? Well ... I guess that's a word. What I think I did was I let her know that that particular phrase just struck me the wrong way and probably always would. I shared about myself with her. She certainly did learn something about me but, I wasn't holding a whip, when I said it.

I let another human being know that their words had an effect on me. I opened up. I was honest. It worked, very nicely (We're seeing each other, again, today).

I find "training" to be useless because it procedes from a negative connotation and just goes downhill from there.

I constantly tell people to take time to get to know people before you get anywhere near any kind of heavy-duty involvement. I've seen this young lady 4 times and we've never been inside either's homes. Suffice it to say; there's been no sexual contact and no declarations of undying love.

We enjoy spending time together and we're getting to know each other. We're in "training" LOL



Peace and comfort,



Michael



Kana -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 8:45:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

For most of the guys that call themselves "doms", training is an euphemism for "tie you up, beat you, then fuck you". Over the years, I've also come to the conclusion that guys that say "train you to be the perfect submissive" are the guys that don't know how to have a relationship.

This.




GreedyTop -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 8:50:26 AM)

LadyP, when I first replied to the OP it didn't occur to me to think of you - because what I saw Beauty saying rang so true to me when thinking of so many male 'doms' that I have run across (on, and sadly, OFF line).

After I read your post, I realized that YOU *do* train... and that your training, if I am not mistaken, is pretty specific: protocol and such. I don't consider your teaching topping skills to be training in re: dom to sub (teaching topping skills, to me, falls more under mentoring, IMO). But that's just my view :)


Hmm...Pondering now... *grins*


Trained by LadyP for protocols/mentored by LadyP for topping skills.... liking this scenario!! When the hell are you gonna get back to GA??? LOL



And I agree - Beauty is a KEEPER!!!



SpaceSpank -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 9:01:19 AM)

I wouldn't say it is a guarantee... but if that is ALL they are about, and their profile is 100% I'm going to train you to service me, etc etc etc...
That does not mean they don't know how to have a relationship, they certainly may have no clue, but it's not a direct correlation.
But one thing it does mean is that they are advertising that they are only looking at BDSM for sex. And more than that, they, at best, only see subs/slaves as what is essentially a blow up doll that does chores. And at a worst they are looking for a free whore that does kinky shit.

Not that there's anything wrong with those things really, as there are some subs/slaves looking for exactly that. But if you see a Dom/Master like that, you better know what they are looking for. You don't buy ground beef to make a prime rib dinner after all.



quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

For most of the guys that call themselves "doms", training is an euphemism for "tie you up, beat you, then fuck you". Over the years, I've also come to the conclusion that guys that say "train you to be the perfect submissive" are the guys that don't know how to have a relationship.

This.






UllrsIshtar -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 9:26:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

I don't like the term "training". I don't mention it anywhere in my profile. Athletes "train" to be competitors. Slaves don't need to be "trained" to compete with anyone. It's just so silly. I happily teach my girls things that I believe will benefit them, encourage them to explore their interests to give them fuller lives, and lay out my personal expectations. But I do not consider any of that stuff training. Is she learning something? Sure. But it is less about her being the best or perfect at a particular task, and more about doing what satisfies each of us.


That analogy is far nicer than the one that always pops in my head. When I hear about slave training, I think about a new employee/trainee being "trained" to flip burgers at McDonalds.
From that point of view, there is also some comparison. I mean a slave will have to be "trained" to make/do food/drink/housekeeping/shopping according to a new M-types preferences, however, there should be relatively few things that should come up that way in the grand scheme of things.
Once a guy goes off into the weeds and basically starts labeling everything he does with his s-type as training, I always get this feeling of: "Really dude? The depth of your connection with her goes no further than teaching her to flip burgers?"



DarkSteven -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 9:27:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So, basically, he's sharing her photo all over the 'net. Nice.



On the bright side, there's a 90%+ chance that he never tied up a woman and got the photo from the Net to begin with. [:)]



OsideGirl -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 9:28:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So, basically, he's sharing her photo all over the 'net. Nice.



On the bright side, there's a 90%+ chance that he never tied up a woman and got the photo from the Net to begin with. [:)]


True, true.....



LadyPact -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 9:54:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

LadyP, when I first replied to the OP it didn't occur to me to think of you - because what I saw Beauty saying rang so true to me when thinking of so many male 'doms' that I have run across (on, and sadly, OFF line).

After I read your post, I realized that YOU *do* train... and that your training, if I am not mistaken, is pretty specific: protocol and such. I don't consider your teaching topping skills to be training in re: dom to sub (teaching topping skills, to me, falls more under mentoring, IMO). But that's just my view :)


Hmm...Pondering now... *grins*


Trained by LadyP for protocols/mentored by LadyP for topping skills.... liking this scenario!! When the hell are you gonna get back to GA??? LOL



And I agree - Beauty is a KEEPER!!!

I'll be back one of these days. LOL.

I do agree with you though. The majority of folks who are throwing around that word "training" are exactly what you and the OP are talking about. I see it pretty often, which is why I tend to add onto threads like these. The words training and mentoring have been so bastardized by some that they hardly hold the definitions that they once had.

The couple that I work with now (femdom and male sub) is a mixture of the two. I mentor her and train him. She came to Me specifically for the protocol gig. It has worked fantastically for their dynamic and they enjoy incorporating what they have learned. She loves being served in a specific way and he obtains great head space from doing it.




GreedyTop -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 10:08:41 AM)

*loves the LadyP*

cmail in a minute or so...



OsideGirl -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 10:53:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpaceSpank

I wouldn't say it is a guarantee... but if that is ALL they are about, and their profile is 100% I'm going to train you to service me, etc etc etc...
That does not mean they don't know how to have a relationship, they certainly may have no clue, but it's not a direct correlation.
But one thing it does mean is that they are advertising that they are only looking at BDSM for sex. And more than that, they, at best, only see subs/slaves as what is essentially a blow up doll that does chores. And at a worst they are looking for a free whore that does kinky shit.
Which goes right back to the "don't know how to have a relationship" point. I've spent years of watching one of the largest communities function, usually these are the guys that have failure after failure. These situations didn't end because he managed to train the submission to perfection. They've ended because someone got unhappy. They use the "I'm just a trainer" guise to hide the fact that they've been incapable of keeping a relationship alive and to get laid by sucking in the novices or the desperate.



UnownedCOBeauty -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 11:58:33 AM)

Goodness, I don't know where to begin! I'm finally tired enough to sleep and when I awake my thread has blossomed into an ocean of some most wonderful advice. :-)

You have all given me a lot of great insight to chew on for a bit... possibly more than I can swallow! But I shall try.

I will slowly start to get back to you all today/tonight. Thank you for the warm welcome and I look forward to getting to know the forums well. :)



GreedyTop -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 12:01:15 PM)

definite keeper :)



LadyPact -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 12:02:37 PM)

Yeah, I like her.



OsideGirl -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 12:07:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I do agree with you though. The majority of folks who are throwing around that word "training" are exactly what you and the OP are talking about. I see it pretty often, which is why I tend to add onto threads like these. The words training and mentoring have been so bastardized by some that they hardly hold the definitions that they once had.


I did just want to clarify a little on my thoughts about training. LP belongs to a group (Leather) that has very specific protocols regardless of who your dominant is. I think in that context, training in the protocol with someone that may not be your long term dominant still has merit.



JeffBC -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 12:30:40 PM)

I just think you're being too literal about it. Just put the "training" word in the heap of other fantasy words. Someone wants to get/become a sex slave and then train or be trained in the fine arts of pleasure. It's all a part of the story line. Because Carol and I don't do protocol & ritual we also find little need for training. Round our house training looks a lot like this scenario. I noticed one day that every time we went out shopping I'd end up looking around the store for her so I told her she was to always be at my heel on my left when we're out. Presto... trained. "Making her heel" sounds so BDSM-ey but in truth it was just a pragmatic solution to a minor life annoyance.



mnottertail -> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy (8/8/2012 1:59:34 PM)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2B6SjMh_w



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