RaspberryLemon
Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
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<> Allowing oneself to be pulled away from existing friends and family. He hasn't done this and would not socially isolate me. He wants me to be a healthy and well-rounded individual, so my family and friend relationships are important to him. If he had reason to believe that one of those people was harmful to me, he would forbid interaction, but barring that he enjoys and encourages me to be close with friends and family.
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<> All property is legally transferred to another. Everything that is mine is his, by transitive property. However, legally speaking this has not happened as we're not married yet.
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<> Every activity is chosen or approved by another. I do not engage in activities that I know he doesn't or wouldn't approve of, but at the same time I'm not expected to get permission for everything I do. He has the right to decide what I can and cannot do, how and when, but he's not interested in micromanaging my every move and so he trusts my judgment to make choices he approves of.
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<> All finances are handled by another (admittedly common, even in vanilla marriages). He decides how the money gets spent, but it's my job to keep the documentation and records of all of it, and we discuss finances together and I give him advice (which he is appreciative of because honestly on his own he is terrible at managing his money.)
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<> Wardrobe chosen by another. I don't own any clothes he doesn't find acceptable. While he has the right to do so, he doesn't normally dictate what exactly he wants me to wear for a specific day/event. I dress in ways I know he will like and approve of.
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<> Permanently marked or tattooed by another. (Less symbols, more names) No tattoos currently, and he's not planning on putting his name on me, but we are planning on having matching tattoos of a certain symbol that means something to us.
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<> Unconditional submission. (If one said "pull the trigger" the other would, no questions asked or hesitation) He doesn't want or expect blind obedience or obedience without question. He expects me to use my head and he wants to hear it if I have objections or questions or additional info that he may use at his discretion.
Of course, after hearing my input, the decision is still his to make. He owns me and thus has the right to do anything to me or give any order (and I'm expected to follow) that will not harm or damage me.
I am not expected to obey an order that common sense dictates would be obviously harmful/damaging to me. I trust his judgment, so I leave what constitutes that up to his discretion for all realistic scenarios, but if he told me to kill myself, I would not do it because there is no outcome there that is NOT harmful/damaging to me. If he asked me to kill him, it would depend on the circumstance but I don't think I could do that either.
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<> Moving to a new state or country, leaving behind a job. Not at this point, though I would go with him if he decided we were leaving this place.
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<> Being legally renamed. He chose a name for me, and it is getting legally changed to that in the near future. I will also take his last name when we marry.
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Do you worry about not having an exit strategy? No, I don't. I trust him, and I trust my own intuition and judgment. Worrying about an "exit strategy" would be dooming the relationship from the start. If I get hurt, I get hurt. I trust myself and I trust him that I won't.
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How long did it take to build up to this level of devotion? I can't give a definite amount of time that it took. The building of devotion and trust was gradual, and it continues to deepen and intensify with every day that goes by.
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RE: TPE: How rare is it? - 
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