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When you first started - 8/12/2012 2:25:32 AM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		What were the first questions you had when you first dipped your toes into the BDSM waters?

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 2:46:04 AM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline 		I don't think there were a lot of researched pointed questions at the beginning. At first, it was all experimental. Questions took the form of "did you like that?" or "was that too hard?"

Basically every question where the answer is "it's a matter of choice" or "there's no right/wrong answer" I didn't even bother asking. Most questions of health and medicine (how to sterilize, how to not strike the kidneys) I didn't need to ask because I had a basic background from non-kink stuff.

My first meaningful question I can recall was on how certain lubes will destroy certain sex toys.

Edits: Typos. Typos are only acceptable when the post is sexy. This post was dry. Except when I started talking about sex toys.

< Message edited by BambiBoi -- 8/12/2012 2:48:08 AM >

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<3

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 2:54:46 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Well not to put to fine of a point on it,
the first things I wanted to know were about
myself, I wanted to know the categories
used to describe what I did, and at first it
was almost comforting to go from the odd
one out, to a member of a category.

Later on I wanted to know how my behaviours,
urges and quirks may have come about and
this opened up more ways of seeing myself and
accepting the various aspects that make up me.

BTW, I'm still working it all out haha

-ARIES


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530 DAYS

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 3:02:17 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I think my first question was, "Who is that hottie, and how can I get me some of that?"

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 3:08:56 AM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		lol I kinda meant specifically.
Like what did you want to know about BDSM itself.


Type slow, my comprehension skills are craptacular tonight lol

_____________________________

Change what you can and accept what you can't.
He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fu*king mosquito!

Resident Thread Killer

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 3:21:46 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Seriously, that's how it was for me. I just went with how I felt. I didn't really have questions. I just followed my heart and my brains. I'm naturally fairly careful and believe I have the right (and responsibility) to make sure I'm comfortable with what I do. I am not shy about speaking my mind (I know - shocking!) and when things seemed odd or something I didn't like or understand, I just analyzed it and made my own decisions. I read a couple of fiction books and got some ideas and decided what I would and wouldn't tolerate, and then I went and approached the aforementioned hottie and ... well, the rest is history.... good history. :)

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 4:39:34 AM   
SexyThoughts


Posts: 180
Joined: 7/14/2011
Status: offline 		"You want to do what?!?"


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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 4:49:45 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		My first question was, "Can I be a feminist and submissive?" Fortunately, the answer is Yes.

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 5:30:34 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Literally,and I totally shit thee not here, my first question (I was so naive) was, "Why do you have ping pong paddles and no table, dear?"


Oh, the gates of hell open to such simple keys :-)

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 5:35:07 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Mine went something like, "If this is all about power and control, how do I get it and what do I do to keep it?"


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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 7:09:01 AM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Oh, the gates of hell open to such simple keys :-)


LMAO OMG Kana, this quote is SOO delicious!

Lucifyre

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I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 7:11:14 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

I think my first question was, "Who is that hottie, and how can I get me some of that?"

That was almost my first question and thoughts also.

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 7:16:15 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I knew I was into this before I knew what "this" meant.

When I finally started reading some fiction, I realized, oh, ok, these wild thoughts are actually connected to my sexuality, ok, cool.

Then I just tried things out with men who also were into this and never looked back.


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 9:27:15 AM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		My first BDSM partner gave me answers to questions I didn't realize I had, when I started out, so there wasn't a whole lot to ask. She was very helpful and understanding.

I suppose it would have been this: "How do I/you..." [insert topic here] I wanted to know how things were done properly and safely; what was expected of me, and what she needed to do. Once the technical side of things was understood I went from there. I'm still learning seventeen years later.

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 9:32:04 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		The first scene I saw was a leathermen scene with a boy tied to the cross. His Master pierced his ball sack with a sharp pointed steel tube like needle the size of a drinking straw and inflated his balls. My first question was, "where can I get one of those".

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I give good thread.

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 9:02:13 PM   
sheisreeds


Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not alone?

That was the first question. Then it was "Are you okay?". Then it was "What about this?"

My first exposure to the scene was a question while on the phone with my best friend laying on my bed after school.

I answered masochist, took me over a decade to realize the joy of being a sadist too.

I probably have more to add but have to gear up for round 2 . . .

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Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in


You need a spankin' baby!

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 9:20:53 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

What were the first questions you had when you first dipped your toes into the BDSM waters?


What the fuck am I doing???

But I said that about anyone I was fucking at the time lol.

Other than that, honestly, I never had any. It just came naturally to me.

And the only question I ever had about with Master is "Is this who and what I want?".

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: When you first started - 8/12/2012 9:40:18 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant
Like what did you want to know about BDSM itself.

Can I have BDSM and a love & kisses type relationship all at the same time? Fortunately, I found out the answer is "yes."

NBMG

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 5:42:08 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

What were the first questions you had when you first dipped your toes into the BDSM waters?



"Holy crap what is THAT?!" *Said while pointing to set of full manicles and chains.*

"Are you really going to HIT me with that?" *Said while staring down at a moosehide flogger.*

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 10:23:28 AM   
Karnikula


Posts: 55
Joined: 7/21/2012
Status: offline 		Why would a mentally healthy person ever want to submit to someone else voluntarily?

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People are like puzzle pieces that are puzzles.

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