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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 10:26:24 AM

bighappygoth39

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Good evening. Do you troll here often?

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 10:30:49 AM

Hillwilliam

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When I was a freshman in college, my somewhat older gf looked up at me from her position on her knees with sperm dripping off her chin to her breasts and said "thank you Sir".

I realized I liked that............a lot.

< Message edited by Hillwilliam -- 8/13/2012 10:47:47 AM >

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 10:50:31 AM

MistressDarkArt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula

Why would a mentally healthy person ever want to submit to someone else voluntarily?

Well, since you list yourself as a dominant that would really leave you up a creek with all the mentally unhealthy folks, wouldn't it?

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 1:09:57 PM

MissImmortalPain

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My first question, set of questions actually, was always...."Can I do that" Followed by "Why" depending on if the person said yes or no.

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 1:48:31 PM

Jaquin

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I'd have to go with "Why can't this movie be longer?"

To explain: my first experience was with a friend of mine who'd tied me up on his bed as we watched a movie.

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 1:53:04 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant
What were the first questions you had when you first dipped your toes into the BDSM waters?

LOL... let's see.

People really DO this?
Who the hell ARE these people?
Tell me you're joking, right?

most of my early questions went a lot like that :)

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 2:10:10 PM

bighappygoth39

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My partner has said that his first question after dipping his toes was "Wow! Can we do that again?"

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 10:57:07 PM

Karmastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

What were the first questions you had when you first dipped your toes into the BDSM waters?

is the water cold?

seriously though, i didn't ask questions, and that was my problem. if i had to start over, i would have asked where the bathroom is. no seriously, i would have asked about expectations more clearly, and opened it up more for feedback.

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RE: When you first started - 8/13/2012 11:16:27 PM

seasnail

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mine was will you please hit me? NO??? why not please please, nothing rats now i get what i want when i can hoping to be owned soon, please (she said on her knees)

seasnail

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RE: When you first started - 8/14/2012 7:23:17 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

What were the first questions you had when you first dipped your toes into the BDSM waters?

"Ummmmm, why are you wearing a rubber penis?"

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RE: When you first started - 8/14/2012 8:25:42 AM

SpaceSpank

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I asked a lot of questions. I can't really think of any in particular. I looked around for what people did and were into, I checked it out to see if it interested me, looked up/asked about safety concerns, etc.
For me it was really just a general sense of it "clicking" with my interests, so I simply delved into as much information about it as I could. Be that web sites, people to talk to, books, discussion boards/forums, etc.

But if I had to single something out, it's "does this turn me on, do I want to try it, is it safe enough that I could reasonably expect to do this?".

In fact, that is still something I ask myself even now...
Sometimes for things I'd just not seen/heard of before, and sometimes its for things that I had low interest in before, or none at all, but now have piqued my interest.

I don't feel anyone should ever stop asking questions until they are dead... that carries over to my BDSM interests as well. Even if the answer is "no", the important part was asking it.

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RE: When you first started - 8/15/2012 2:50:37 PM

autumnsylver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

My first question was, "Can I be a feminist and submissive?" Fortunately, the answer is Yes.

And all of those "so you want to be a slave" articles really don't help. They make it seem as though if you don't like everything on the list, you can't be a slave, which just isn't true. The only thing that matters is what kind of slave you and your Dom/Master want you to be.

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RE: When you first started - 8/15/2012 5:25:24 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

What were the first questions you had when you first dipped your toes into the BDSM waters?

As a brand new sub..., the biggest questions usually revolve around, "Is it suppose to be like this or like that?" Because you tend to meet doms who make blanket statements about what a sub should be like, and you may have to deal with the "You're not a sub." If you didn't want to go along with all their suggestions.

After awhile, you will realise you should treat it like vanilla in alot of ways. It's not that different. Two people still needs to have common interests, in this case common bdsm interests for it to work.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 8/15/2012 5:26:27 PM >

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RE: When you first started - 8/16/2012 11:06:50 AM

phoenixmoonn13

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my first though was a lightbuld going of in my head and the realisation i was normal not a freak and there are people out there whos way of life is what feels so right to me and that after all my wired thoughts i am normal. then what on earth have i got myself into followed quickly by leaping onto google search for days

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RE: When you first started - 8/16/2012 11:12:30 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bighappygoth39
Good evening. Do you troll here often?

Why is that a troll question. It's not a lot different than mine... Real people actually DO THIS CRAP?

I also had to directly address the question of "submissive" and whether or not I wanted to enhance or suppress that in Carol. The whole concept was new to me and I'd been fed a diet of 50/50. I had to take a good long look at whether being submissive was a defective trait or not and how I wanted to proceed.

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officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: When you first started - 8/16/2012 11:18:29 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: autumnsylver
And all of those "so you want to be a slave" articles really don't help. They make it seem as though if you don't like everything on the list, you can't be a slave, which just isn't true. The only thing that matters is what kind of slave you and your Dom/Master want you to be.

ROFL. I think I've come to the conclusion that pretty much anything written in "article form" regarding M/s on the internet is a ludicrous joke. As a general rule, the more authoritative it sounds, the more it's a joke. People's real life and directly relayed experiences from their own real relationships... yeah that I can get behind. But in my experience, the vast majority of these articles are written from a basis of fantasy kink not practical hands-on and successful experience.

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"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: When you first started - 8/16/2012 1:30:17 PM

Lucifyre

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I don't remember asking a lot of questions in the beginning. Mr and I discovered this together as a couple. I do distinctly remember feeling like I had finally found a group of folks I could relate to and not feel like I needed to be embarrassed or hide anything from. Kind of like the kid holding his finger in the hole in the wall at the dam...once Mr and I figured out that <this> was what we had been doing all along, the kid yanked his finger out and the whole dam broke.

Now 18 years later, neither Mr or myself bother to seek out friendships with people that aren't at the very least kink friendly because we don't have much in common with vanilla folks. I'm not sure if that makes any sense to you guys, but it fits really well in my head LOL

Lucifyre

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RE: When you first started - 8/16/2012 1:34:24 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: bighappygoth39
Good evening. Do you troll here often?

Why is that a troll question. It's not a lot different than mine... Real people actually DO THIS CRAP?

I also had to directly address the question of "submissive" and whether or not I wanted to enhance or suppress that in Carol. The whole concept was new to me and I'd been fed a diet of 50/50. I had to take a good long look at whether being submissive was a defective trait or not and how I wanted to proceed.

Jeff, perhaps she meant she started out on the net and happened to run into a lot of trolls at that time? It's one of the common complaints for new female Dominants. The onslaught of male troll types.

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RE: When you first started - 8/16/2012 2:26:54 PM

limpshorty

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As best I can remember, it was, "huh? You mean me? oh, Yes. I mean Yes Mam."

It is a fond memory.

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RE: When you first started - 8/16/2012 3:00:50 PM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmissdefiant

What were the first questions you had when you first dipped your toes into the BDSM waters?

I didn't have any, I just did what I felt like doing.

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