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ORIGINAL: AislynLass

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Sorry but this idea of laying the complete responsibility on the top is like saying it is the refrigerator's fault that I drank spoiled milk.

I had hoped in my OP that I made the point clear that I was laying complete responsibility on the Top. I said several times that I fully agreed with my self-responsibility as a submissive in communicating with the Dominant/Top, asking questions, negotiating the scene, and educating myself. The point in my OP is that after all of this where the submissive has done what she or he can to ensure that the scene will be a good experience, that the lion's share of responsibility then shifts to the Dominant/Top to ensure a positive outcome since he or she is the one actually wielding the whip or the flogger, etc., and to be prepared to respond appropriately if something does start to go wrong.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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I suppose anyone that has been doing this for awhile and tends to play in the deep end understand that things happen and playing the blame came is rather silly and counterproductive at this point. We jump in the pool and get we get wet. I recall a person waned to do knife play. But didnt want to be cut. Not only didnt want to be cut they wouldn't accept the risk that it could happen. You play with knives you might get cut it happens even when the intent is otherwise. A sudden unexpected move by the bottom that is suppoose to be still at a given moment can lead to a serious cut. That is exactly what happen to the couple I was talking about earlier. The bottom moved when she she wasnt suppose to. It happens, they sowed her head back on and went about playing some more.

The old saying, if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen. Their are more than a few I see that try to engage in this stuff that should head that advice.

I apologize for not communicating as clearly as I should have because I am not trying play the blame game. That would be a very futile and pointless thing to do. As a submissive if I engaged in knife play, I do recognize that something unexpected could happen such as a sudden move that could lead to a cut inspite of the Dominant/Top's best efforts. However, the point I was making is that the Top would respond in an appropriate manner to ensure there wasn't a disastrous end. In the example you gave, evidently that particular Top did do so. In the example in the thread regarding the badly burned flesh from the candle scene, that Top did not.

Dominants and Tops are indeed human [:)] and mistakes and unexpected things can and do happen. My point really was focusing on the responsibility of the Top as the one who wielded the instrument in the scene and the one who is not cut, burned, etc. to see that if things do go wrong for whatever reason that appropriate care and actions are taken....for example, that the submissive does not drive home needing urgent medical care and putting her or himself as risk, as well as, other mororists who happen to be on the road.

I hope this clarifies better the point I was trying to make. The discussion certainly has helped me think further about what is important to me in terms of responsibility for both me and the Dominant I submit to. I appreciate reading everyone's comments so far.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

NV....you ROCK!