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For new subs. - 8/14/2012 5:24:30 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
I borrowed this from a young lady named magdalena82. It's entitled "How I Know You're a Shitty Dom".



You are pushy, even when you barely know me.

Your first message to me is a generic copy and paste job you send to every single female you come across.

Your first message to me is you telling me I would a) better serve you by being on my knees and naked, or b) be smart to address you as Sir or Lord.

Your first message to me includes a pejorative such as bitch or slut.

You attempt to make me feel guilty when I don't do exactly what you say or answer you quickly enough or at all.

You insult me when I don't return your amour (has that ever made a sub want you, really?).

You consider D/s an escape from vanilla life where you have poor interpersonal relations.

You ask to talk on the phone or meet within a few exchanges, and get angry when I tell you I am not comfortable with that yet.

You consider experienced subs "jaded" and prefer the company of newbies under the guise of "teaching and guiding" them. The reality is they are the only ones who don't know you are full of shit.

When I give you my limits you immediately disregard or attempt to cross them. This is not you being Dominant, this is you being a disrespectful asshole.

You tell me "good" subs have few/no limits.

You ask things of me which you would never consider reciprocating (e.g oral sex, massages, rimming, foot worship, housework, etc).

You consider D/s a sexual relationship only, and your messages become very sexual quickly.

You view Fetlife and fetish events as a meatmarket.

You tell me I am not collared because I haven't found a "real" Dom yet (i.e. you). It isn't going to get you very far if you insult my past partners, whom I still love and respect. You are implying I have poor judgement, which I don't.

You expect me to be monogamous to you yet you immediately tell me you want a passel of slaves, implying you are just too much of a Dommy Dom to not share yourself with a multitude of women.

I could go on and on, and will add to this list as my experiences with finding a suitable partner continue. Rest assured I laugh every day at the absurdity of some men I come across!


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 5:26:34 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
LIKE!!!!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 5:27:29 AM   
TheSadistician


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/14/2012
Status: offline
Wow .. she has Me pegged! LOL

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 6:00:38 AM   
SpaceSpank


Posts: 244
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline
Good list, although I'm appalled by the lack of mentioning unsolicited cock shots in the list. Surely they deserve some respectful mention!

(in reply to TheSadistician)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 6:08:45 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpaceSpank

Good list, although I'm appalled by the lack of mentioning unsolicited cock shots in the list. Surely they deserve some respectful mention!


You just print out said cock shot, use it as a dart board and send a picture of your new dart board back...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SpaceSpank)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 6:09:59 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I borrowed this from a young lady named magdalena82. It's entitled "How I Know You're a Shitty Dom".


Yeah, borrowed it for what - to polish up your act? ;)

I like her, btw.

Focus.


_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 6:14:56 AM   
SpaceSpank


Posts: 244
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline
Hey hey,

I don't send cock shots out to people :P
But enough of the subs/slaves I've talked to and heard from always mention they get them, so I figured they deserved to be on the list!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


You just print out said cock shot, use it as a dart board and send a picture of your new dart board back...


(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 6:23:45 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
Being a woman is enough to get them

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SpaceSpank)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 6:27:45 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I borrowed this from a young lady named magdalena82. It's entitled "How I Know You're a Shitty Dom".



You are pushy, even when you barely know me.

Your first message to me is a generic copy and paste job you send to every single female you come across.

Your first message to me is you telling me I would a) better serve you by being on my knees and naked, or b) be smart to address you as Sir or Lord.

Your first message to me includes a pejorative such as bitch or slut.

You attempt to make me feel guilty when I don't do exactly what you say or answer you quickly enough or at all.

You insult me when I don't return your amour (has that ever made a sub want you, really?).

You consider D/s an escape from vanilla life where you have poor interpersonal relations.

You ask to talk on the phone or meet within a few exchanges, and get angry when I tell you I am not comfortable with that yet.

You consider experienced subs "jaded" and prefer the company of newbies under the guise of "teaching and guiding" them. The reality is they are the only ones who don't know you are full of shit.

When I give you my limits you immediately disregard or attempt to cross them. This is not you being Dominant, this is you being a disrespectful asshole.

You tell me "good" subs have few/no limits.

You ask things of me which you would never consider reciprocating (e.g oral sex, massages, rimming, foot worship, housework, etc).

You consider D/s a sexual relationship only, and your messages become very sexual quickly.

You view Fetlife and fetish events as a meatmarket.

You tell me I am not collared because I haven't found a "real" Dom yet (i.e. you). It isn't going to get you very far if you insult my past partners, whom I still love and respect. You are implying I have poor judgement, which I don't.

You expect me to be monogamous to you yet you immediately tell me you want a passel of slaves, implying you are just too much of a Dommy Dom to not share yourself with a multitude of women.

I could go on and on, and will add to this list as my experiences with finding a suitable partner continue. Rest assured I laugh every day at the absurdity of some men I come across!


Interesting

Personally, I would be more apt to stay away from someone who felt the need to post something like this as advice...no matter if it was done in humor or not.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 6:34:27 AM   
SpaceSpank


Posts: 244
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline
I'd find it funny, but I would find it more appropriate in a journal entry. If it was in the main profile... i could understand why they would do it. But most of the people who send out the biggest crap don't bother to read the profile anyways.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 6:52:46 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
That's a great list! I've made lists like that for myself in the past to help me get clear about my boundaries about other stuff. It was a great exercise!

I know I don't want this job if it ...
I'm not in a healthy relationship if...
I should rethink my behavior if...

Thanks Steven for sharing!

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to SpaceSpank)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 7:07:39 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
That list applies to both genders. It could have been titled "How to Know You're a Shitty Domme", and been just as accurate.

I've been approached by Dommes who have used every single example on that list.

But when it comes to Dommes, these should be added to the list:

-You immediately ask for money or send me to your Amazon wishlist.

-You say that I had "better not contact you" unless I first send you tribute, despite the fact that I never contacted you in the first place. You wrote to me and demanded tribute for the "privilege" of responding to your unsolicited message.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 8/14/2012 7:09:33 AM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 7:18:37 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
jeez, Roch!! seriously???


*hugs* how've you been, you sexy man?

ETA: I meant about that last bit...

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 8/14/2012 7:19:06 AM >


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 7:28:41 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
GT,
I've been well. I've just been very busy lately. I don't post much these days, but I do lurk every now and then.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 7:31:39 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


You consider experienced subs "jaded" and prefer the company of newbies under the guise of "teaching and guiding" them. The reality is they are the only ones who don't know you are full of shit.


This reminds me of a guy here in San Diego.

I was at a social without Master and out with some friends. G behaved like the idiots listed in the OP. I told him that he was being rude which led to him screaming at me that he didn't "take directions from subs". He then tried to tell everyone that I was bitter because he had refused me without realizing that some of the people in that room were very close friends including the guy who introduced Master and I and our best man. For about a 6 month period, he tried to stir up shit about us. He gained a reputation as being an asshat and every time he showed up at an event he was treated as such. Eventually, he faded away.

But, even years later one of our acquaintances would come up and tell us that she had met him. They would say that he refused to date anybody active in the community, blaming it on us, saying that we had him blacklisted. When the reality is that he's trying to hide that he has the reputation of a flaming ass hat.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 7:34:31 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

GT,
I've been well. I've just been very busy lately. I don't post much these days, but I do lurk every now and then.


Still suffering forced BJ's in Hugh's mansion? It's a hard life!

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 7:40:26 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
Oh come on, Ogirl, admit you love the instant doms, just add a little bit of hot water...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 7:41:44 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
it is, as always, wonderful to see you posting, Roch! I hope your busy-ness is productive and satisfying for you!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 7:48:52 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Oh come on, Ogirl, admit you love the instant doms, just add a little bit of hot water...



Actually, it's "Just add hot air".....

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 9:32:09 AM   
PurpleKitten


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/8/2012
Status: offline
Awesome! and so true!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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