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RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/12/2006 2:28:53 AM   
KennelDeSade2


Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline 		I consider “the swinger lifestyle” to be anathema to Ds. If somebody identifies as both a swinger and a BDSM perv, (I identify as the second) odds are good that they aren't going to be happy with play that does not include sex. Unless I've got good chemistry and a fairly strong feeling it's going to more than casual play, sex isn't gonna happen. So if I hit swinger in a profile, that is the point where my finger hits the delete button. Why waste their time and mine?

(in reply to elsie)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/17/2006 9:02:37 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Any submissive that comes to us saying she's allowed to play is subject to scepticism until we've talked to her Dom.


I totally don't get that.

We're all adults here.  If I say that Sir allows me to play elsewhere - why should that be treated with skepticism until they speak with him? 

If someone trusts me enough to want to play with me, they'll trust my word on that, too.  Otherwise, I want nothing to do with them.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/17/2006 9:04:35 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2

I consider “the swinger lifestyle” to be anathema to Ds. If somebody identifies as both a swinger and a BDSM perv, (I identify as the second) odds are good that they aren't going to be happy with play that does not include sex. Unless I've got good chemistry and a fairly strong feeling it's going to more than casual play, sex isn't gonna happen. So if I hit swinger in a profile, that is the point where my finger hits the delete button. Why waste their time and mine?


If someone is bisexual, it doesn't mean they need to have a threesome every time they have sex for it to be fulfilling.

Same for swinger - it doesn't necessarily mean anything that you've just stated.

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/19/2006 6:11:54 PM   
VikingHouse


Posts: 57
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline 		I would have some small concerns about her being collared, but only because it would limit My creativity. Discussing her abilities to endure and still embrace My practices would be concerns that, I discussed with both of them, but, I still have strong issues with the swingin' subject mainly because My House is poly-fidelity and disease free and it will remain that way due to the tenets that we observe.
  Sexual interactions are an integeral part of how, I interact with a girl during a session, and penetration of oral, vaginal and are almost always done bareback, anal cavitys are most always done with the aid of lots of lube and a condom, but for a girl that doesn't practice My form of sexual play, I'd have to pass altogether. The health of My subjects is of paramount concern to Me, and if I'm so needy for an orgasm, I'll whack and choke that swollen appendage into submission and have it spitout the stored essence for refrigeration and later consumption by a lucky girl. wefg
  Swinging has always been open to criticism for numerous personal reasons that others have with the practice. I'm not above sharing My property with those that, I respect and know that they are healthy, too, but, I won't chain them before the opening of a gloryhole to serve some luckless and pussyless vagrant or preppie. Sorry fellers, but, I don't care if you ever get off and I certainly am not looking to have My diningroom poluted by anothers messy example of testosterone buildup.
Cognitive Deviant
Gentry
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Fast reply to OP:

In my experience I have found that most do not want an involvement with a collared person, regardless of your claims to be a swinger or whatever else.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/20/2006 8:02:40 AM   
Wolfspet


Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline 		Wolf has a collared submissive, who is completely encouraged to find her own primary relationship.
He does not engage in penetrative sex with her, she is (mostly) free to choose her own partners.  She is a service submissive.  She is collared  because it provides her with a sense of security.

(in reply to VikingHouse)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/20/2006 8:18:04 AM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		I have absolutely NO problem playing with another Doms collared sub AS LONG AS I HAVE TALKED TO THE DOM AND WE HAVE NEGOTIATED!!! Otherwise NO Never, Noway, fagetabout it.


_____________________________

Kink Forever
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Docents_of_Museum/

(in reply to elsie)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/21/2006 4:22:48 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		The way I see it:

Profile needs to be simple and explicit..
  1. Sub is collared to XYZ.
  2. Sub is allowed to play provided that sub's Dominant approves and that he or another dom who is trusted is present.
  3. Sub and Dominant are into swinging but this is not part of their BDSM scene and is addressed seperately.
If the profile is set out with the abovemention points are made clearly (or similar), then the onus is on those who contact the sub to read the bloody profile and those who do not show them selves to be less intelligent than they perport to be and not worth replying to.

Neets and I have lost track of subs who contact us with ther view of being with us. That they are subs and comment on their limits etc shows that we are Gorean and seek only slaves who will be collared to a Gorean Home and live close to us because we have no room for a live-in situation.... (At this time)...


< Message edited by IronBear -- 6/21/2006 4:25:14 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/29/2006 8:06:28 AM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I know Doms (previous potentials) that will no longer even speak to me (via email, phone or IM) because I am owned.  These are men that I had, at one time, some sort of relationship with but now that I am owned they are no longer interested in even speaking to me.  I truly don't understand the concept other than it's their nature and I can appreciate that.  Possessive, jealous, comparison, whatever... it's their choice.

I am an owned sub that "was" constantly approached by Doms until I made my profile explicit enough for them to understand where/what I am about.  However, I still get emails on occasion, and I just kindly respond that I am not interested.  'nuff said.  I am allowed to speak to other men, should I choose, but cannot have a relationship other than strictly platonic... since that is rare, the men that do try to forge a platonic relationship normally step over the line at some point and I have to shoot them down.  This is not only because of my owned status, but because I truly care for my Dom and would not do anything to intentionally hurt him or our relationship.

I agree that a well-written profile is essential in this case.  And if her Dom has a profile as well, and truly approves, he could put something in his profile too... referencing one to another if necessary.

IMHO, she needs to relax.  When the time is right, the right Dom will come along to play with her.  I am sure there are plenty out there that are more than willing.  In the meantime, she should make the appropriate chnages and take things as they come.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 6/29/2006 8:32:52 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2

I consider “the swinger lifestyle” to be anathema to Ds. If somebody identifies as both a swinger and a BDSM perv, (I identify as the second) odds are good that they aren't going to be happy with play that does not include sex. Unless I've got good chemistry and a fairly strong feeling it's going to more than casual play, sex isn't gonna happen. So if I hit swinger in a profile, that is the point where my finger hits the delete button. Why waste their time and mine?


This is a reasonable thought Kennel. However I can say from experience with a number of peoiple involved in BDSM that this is not the case. They and their partners swing for pure sexual gratification. Most of them can have a very successfull BDSM life without sex becomming a neccesary part of it.... Neets and I are members of a swiging group which we look to for more social interaction with the chnce of sex. certainly there is always the chance of meeting a submissive oriented person or two there as well but since our lifestyle is not BDSM based we probably wouldn't fit into your thinking at all.....


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/1/2006 9:47:50 AM   
slavejlb


Posts: 446
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		This one knows that feeling all too, all dress for the prom or undress as the case may be, and no one to dance with or to play with
take care and be safe
slave jlb

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/4/2006 12:55:07 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2

I consider “the swinger lifestyle” to be anathema to Ds. If somebody identifies as both a swinger and a BDSM perv, (I identify as the second) odds are good that they aren't going to be happy with play that does not include sex. Unless I've got good chemistry and a fairly strong feeling it's going to more than casual play, sex isn't gonna happen. So if I hit swinger in a profile, that is the point where my finger hits the delete button. Why waste their time and mine?


I'm a member of both camps, and i don't mix the two in one basket.  a lot of people who swing are also into BDSM, nothing saying we can't have nilla swing and D/s, M/s or S&m as separate activites.  

Negotiation is negotiation.  Believe it or not, we negotiate in both lifestyles, although it's not called that in swinging.  i'll start paying attention to if we label it anything specific.

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/4/2006 9:58:15 AM   
MasterScorpioWI


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/24/2004
Status: offline 		The only thing I can think of is that they just can't handle that type of relationship, perhaps do not want to "play" with someone else's "property" so to speak.  But I agree, at least a reply back saying that they are not looking or interested in that sort of relationship would be appropriate.  I've been approached about being part of a situation such as that, with a collared slave whose Master was further away.  I was happy to partake, felt even a little bit honored that I was asked.  I knew what was wanted, what was not wanted and everything worked out very well.  I was not interested in coming between anyone and I didn't -- and at the time it occurred it was a perfect situation for me.  I hope your friend will find what she and her Master are looking for.  It might just take some time and patience.

(in reply to elsie)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/4/2006 10:13:35 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Nodding...no one wants a car with another owner on the title either-it can be taken back at any moment.

(in reply to elsie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/4/2006 10:30:41 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordAmra
There is allways a limit to what an owned sub/slave will be able to do with the "stand-in" Master. And there in My opinion, lies the problem.


If the one playing with the s-type does not own them, there is always a limit *period*. 

(in reply to LordAmra)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/6/2006 6:10:49 AM   
subedana


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		I kindof agreee with you ImpGrrl. Master Jim does not have an account here and rarely goes on line at all. It's just not his thing. But I also have permission to play with whomever I choose to. Men, women, couples, it's my choice. I just have to let him know about it. If someone doesn't believe me when I tell them this I'm not to sure I want to play with them anyway. Just my two cents worth.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Any submissive that comes to us saying she's allowed to play is subject to scepticism until we've talked to her Dom.


I totally don't get that.

We're all adults here.  If I say that Sir allows me to play elsewhere - why should that be treated with skepticism until they speak with him? 

If someone trusts me enough to want to play with me, they'll trust my word on that, too.  Otherwise, I want nothing to do with them.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/6/2006 5:28:50 PM   
txpet


Posts: 200
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm ...
i am collared and i do not live with Master.
i am allowed to speak with anyone i chose via email, chat or phone.
i am NOT allowed to share photos, vid, webcam or even meet ANYONE in person privately without that Person first contacting Master.
i have had discussions with Doms that email me ... Some are quite interested in sharing conversation. Anything beyond conversation has me sharing Master's email address for His decision.
Master has allowed me to play with a Sadist as i am a masochist and Master does not enjoy causing pain.
Another Dom spoke to Master and arrangements were made for me to be available for use via webcam for this Dom.
Master makes the arrangements for my use.
Any first meeting even solely for play is done with sever restrictions unless it is someone that Master already knows and trusts. Master has said that second meetings will have less restrictions and so forth. As trust is developed, more use is allowed.
i have not met anyone a second time for a variety of reasons ::shrug::
i am Master's property completely.
i am thankful that Master allows me to talk because otherwise i do get lonely but that is a privilege that Master has bestowed upon me.
i do not go looking for play.
When Master wishes me to play, He will have me to do so.
i believe there is little doubt in my profile that i am owned and very happy to be so.

_____________________________

Ken's dirty girl,
txpet jennie

(in reply to elsie)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/7/2006 3:24:49 PM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes, when we see that a person isn't what we want, we think, oh well, and drop it....not saying that it wouldn't be more polite to say so, but sometimes when you do say so, the one you tell gets upset, even hostle...so some figure, why take that risk.

Darkside

(in reply to elsie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: collared but allowed to play .... - 7/7/2006 11:12:09 PM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: elsie

Hello,

i just have a question about a friend of mine who is having a small dilemma.  She is collared but it's not a 24/7 type of thing, She has been given permission to play, by her Master, with a suitable partner as he is not able to be there for her all the time.


Thank you for your responses in advance,

elsie aka nara, owned and devoted to Mistress Tmtashn


Greetings elsie,

Personally I would meet with subs and slaves like this, mostly in the back of my mind to keep up my training and to learn something new, if that is the case.  I would, however, have some conditions, the first few meetings are in public places for chats and to try and to see what levels we are on.  I would then try to assertain what she desires, what her Master wants for the training.  If we do have a session, it would be in a hotel.

This is something that I personally would do, as my own training and growth within Gor and the BDSM lifestyle continues daily.

Be well and take care.

Master Frank Ar.

< Message edited by FrankAr -- 7/7/2006 11:13:31 PM >

(in reply to elsie)
Profile   Post #: 38
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