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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Not sure if there is a question here. Not really sure why I am posting this either. I just know that I want read what others have to say about their own experiences in navigating the minefields.

A few days ago I awoke rather aroused. I cuddled up to Alandra who was sleeping rather soundly and started to rub up against her like a dog in heat. Petting her and enjoying the softness of her body. She started to awaken all tense and even stressed. I hit a minefield. Alandra was abused as a kid and my actions triggered the memories and trauma of those past events. He awaken her in as a child very much like that and even to this day Alandra cocooons herself into blankets when she sleeps so you just can't rub up against her. I rarely ever softly carass her. It's much more rough and gripping of her body. Being sensual is not something we normally do.

Alandra was quick to share what happen was happening to her. Letting me know that I walked into the mindfield. Ike many times before, we cuddled and reassured each that things were ok. Not alot of talk. Just brought her back to the now and away from the past. Yes it would be great if these things didn't happen. It would be great if we could remove these triggers and go through life with these experiences. But, at the same time, these experience bring us closer together. They go off and we deal with it together. The guilt, the angry, the pain all those emotions. I am not her therapist, nor do I try to be. In fact, Alandra has never felt the need to go to therapy. It might be because she herself confronted and stopped this from happening to her long before anyone knew it was happening. In fact, I was the first person Alandra told years after it stopped. She took her power back, but you just don't erase or remove that mindfield.

I suppose many have their own mindfields. Their is no right way to handle them that is for everyone. But a few things I have learned as a person that is walking in another's mindfield. It's never about you. It's never anyone's fault except the abuser. A person without power is truly a weak and fragile thing. You can't help by fixing it. Because it can't be fixed. Nor can you give them their power back they have to take their power back themselves. It's hard, but instead of being a wedge to intimacy, it can be something that binds you closer together. I admirer my Alandra her strength inspires me.

Incidentally, we did have sex....

The mindfield doesn't stop us...it just changes the path we walk to get where we want to go. If there is any message here its that.