quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

Physical signs vary. One constant is that My pupils dilate. My eyes also change color

Oh, dog piss. My eyes change color too. That's kinda scary.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Oh, dog piss. My eyes change color too. That's kinda scary.
Now, they're pretty much hazel, so they shift according to mood a bit anyway, but when I play, they really shift.
I don't get the physical effects you do, but I can crash real hard emotionally after (It's tough coming back down into cold ugly reality. The high from topping is so much cleaner and better), do some real soul wrestling, have to deal with a lot of nasty shit that bubbles to the surface from time to time.
But even that's cathartic. At least it's getting dealt with and not festering inside, slowly turning toxic.
And that dealing, we do it together. I'm not alone, in mind, body or spirit, and that helps.


So hey, all you subs/slaves out there-Dominants are people too-sometimes we need aftercare just like you do


edited to add this:

Yer misogyny isn't the word I'm looking for,
Is there a term for,
"raw, benign, patriarchal, objectification

How bout "ravish?" As in, I'm gonna ravish her in the most primal way possible...

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
That is fucking interesting... my husband's eyes change color too.

I wonder if there's an actual correlation between top-high and eye color shifts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Piling on to LP's comments, I also spent lots and lots of time with meditation, eastern philosophy, zen, martial arts and shamanism so I'm pretty familiar with trance states.
Well that, and when I was a kid, I did lots and lots of drugs.
As in so many that I won't discuss it on a public forum lest you think I'm a liar or Keith Richards

PS-LP-I meant "Oh, Dog Piss" as an exclamatory remark of surprise, nothing negative or dubious :-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Disappointed in My response..... or yours?

Dude, don't do that to yourself. Heck, I've had people tell Me that I'm not a real Domme because I get toppy. According to them, it means I am not in control and therefore, not a Dominant.

And, just because you never have doesn't mean you never will. The possibility is always out there.

This isn't a goal to achieve. As long as you are concentrating on that concept, you'll never get it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Piling on to LP's comments, I also spent lots and lots of time with meditation, eastern philosophy, zen, martial arts and shamanism so I'm pretty familiar with trance states.
Well that, and when I was a kid, I did lots and lots of drugs.
As in so many that I won't discuss it on a public forum lest you think I'm a liar or Keith Richards

PS-LP-I meant "Oh, Dog Piss" as an exclamatory remark of surprise, nothing negative or dubious :-)

Ah.... Exclamatory in familiarity. Got it. I shouldn't be surprised.

It's funny, in a way. Very few will recognize space from the top side (it makes us weak) or, heaven forbid, drop. Some are so wrapped up in "the Image" (tm).

I admit, I haven't studied other methods of altering state. I'm not even great with expressing it. But I know what this is. I don't always achieve it, but I know it's there.


PS. What in the world are you doing up in your time zone?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Pronounced dead at the scene...

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

Does anyone else have a type of "top space"
that you can get to and if so what is it for you?

-ARIES

quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

I've bottomed for sadists, but I am no masochist (a little pain punctuates the pleasure, but here I am talking about serious output). In fact, receiving pain makes me resist submission. I get feisty and angry. While I'm sure dominant sadists would find my squirming, cursing, and tugging at my bindings displeasing, a power-exchange neutral sadist never seems to care. The sadist seems to like these expressions of suffering.

The corollary of my anecdotal finding is that a dominant sadist deeply enjoys a submissive accepting the pain, but controlling the response. So while I might be screaming at full force into a gag so the neighbors don't call the police again, a submissive who is better trained and a masochist exhibits suffering, but keeps their pleasant demeanor.

Does that juxtaposition help?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

1 - I spank her (samdarella) every morning. It puts her in her place and reinforces her mindset. It is an act of Domination reinforcing and reminding her of her role position to me.

2 - I spank her every morning because I am a sexual sadist. It makes my cock hard and gives her something nice to sit on or suck on.

3 - I spank her every morning because she is a sexual masochist and it makes her cum.

4 - I spank her every morning because it is a romantic soft sweet affectionate expression of a gentleman sadist and his masochistic lady.

5 - I spank her every morning because sometimes the spanking becomes the foreplay to a violent lustful encounter that ends brutally using paddles, whips, canes and etc leaving us both spent in a puddle of cum and blood.

6 - I spank her every morning because the ritual is tangible proof of our dedication to each other. Proof of my dedication as a sadistic Dominant lover. Proof of her dedication as my submissive masochistic lover. It is our "duty" to each other.

7 - I spank her every morning because I wake up with a wonderful spankable sexy women in my bed. Did you expect me to leave a sexy naked slave who is a sexual masochist just laying there naked? When she brings me breakfast in bed and sucks my cock while I drink coffee, shouldn't that behavior be rewarded with positive reinforcement like an erotic spanking? If there is no quid pro qou, it's not an exchange is it?

8 - I spank her every morning because there isn't a better way for us to start the day. I am a simple man, basic, primal by some standards (yes I read that thread). Bring me food, give me sex, give me your love, your pain and your pleasures. By the time we have eaten breakfast, we start our day well loved, well fucked, well fed and we're both on top of the world.

9 - I spank her every morning because it is a long lasting mood enhancement. The fact I woke up with a dedicated slave that has obeyed me as Master and satisfied me as a man with food and sex is an unalterable fact. No matter what chaos the world conjures up, no matter what happens, we started this day on center, reaffirmed about who were are to ourselves and to each other. It charged up our emotional batteries and our fortitude. Nothing can happen to change that fact and it allows us to make everything a pleasant adventure. Even the silliest disaster can't change our mood. Even if something awful happens that makes her cry, with a touch or a word, I can lift her up. She may be smiling while the last of her tears roll down her cheeks but she is in the spirit of adventure, not sad. It is because our bond is that tight, that fresh, it is reconnected and reaffirmed daily. I have also refrained from killing assholes that would have irritated me if it weren't for the fact I was in just too good of a mood to be bothered.

10 - I also stick her with needles, whip her, strap her, cane her and etc. Those encounters can vary in motivation and extremes but that is for another reply because although they are also bonding as far as our exchange goes, they aren't the foundation of the TPE bond. They are the icing on the cake.


So there you have a peek at just one of our rituals that involve my sadism, her masochism and how the painful but erotic acts interface with our style of TPE. I hope this answers your OP with some clarity by micro focusing on just one ritual.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

I've bottomed for sadists, but I am no masochist (a little pain punctuates the pleasure, but here I am talking about serious output). In fact, receiving pain makes me resist submission. I get feisty and angry. While I'm sure dominant sadists would find my squirming, cursing, and tugging at my bindings displeasing, a power-exchange neutral sadist never seems to care. The sadist seems to like these expressions of suffering.

The corollary of my anecdotal finding is that a dominant sadist deeply enjoys a submissive accepting the pain, but controlling the response. So while I might be screaming at full force into a gag so the neighbors don't call the police again, a submissive who is better trained and a masochist exhibits suffering, but keeps their pleasant demeanor.

Does that juxtaposition help?

quote:

D/s and sadism aren't entirely separate in our relationship - I would say he would still want to dom me without the sadism, but wouldn't want to hurt me without the D/s element behind it.