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Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/17/2012 10:41:22 PM

KaleidoKenlyn

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So, as of late, I've been noticing a lot of hate for skinny women. All over my Facebook, I've been seeing a lot of pictures of larger women and they're always captioned with "REAL women have curves" or "Curves are beautiful." It's not the pictures/captions that I have a big problem with (at least.. not for the most part). It's the comments that I see posted to those pics. And I see a lot of the same on this site as well. People have taken to calling slender women "disgusting" or "gross" or "a bag of bones." Anorexia and the evils of society will usually crop up in the discussion as well.
Let me clarify something here. I'm not saying extremely underweight women are gorgeous. But I don't think extremely overweight women are either, though they are socially acceptable nowadays. People go on about how "society wants us all to be skinny." But really? At least in my area, slender women are a rare find. There's absolutely no shortage of larger women though. And, no. No one calls them fat. Skinny girl comes around though, and the eating disorder discussion will come right up. They are constantly teased about their lack of weight.
Sure, in the modeling world, you're likely to see a majority of size 2's. But in every day life for most of them, slim women are practically shunned.
People forget that they are real women, too. The majority of them work hard and eat right to keep their figures (not that I am one to diss anyone who enjoys the occasional Twinkie ^_^). The comments that get thrown around really, really bother me. These women have self-esteem issues just like the rest of us. We ALL have beautiful traits. And we ALL have something on our body that could be called "disgusting" by somebody out there. But NONE of us enjoy it.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/17/2012 10:57:07 PM

DaddySatyr

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I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings with my use of "bag of bones" but I take your point and shall endeavor to modify my behavior in the future.

However, I would like to address something in your post:

"The majority of them work hard and eat right to keep their figures ..."

Now, we're into the crux of it. I much prefer the figure of a Sofia Loren, a (young-ish) Delta Burke, a Lynda Carter (OMG!) or even a Nikki Minaj to the Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton types.

I don't view the latter two as having any "figure", at all.

For the record; I don't focus on breasts, when I discuss a lady's figure, either. I'm talking about the curve of the hips/ass.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/17/2012 10:58:10 PM

KyttynTheMynx

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Where I come from, NO ONE forgets that skinny women are real women. It is pretty hard to when that stuff is shoved down your throat through media, doctors visits, and random assholes on the street. Recently, I was physically accosted just because I was a fat woman that dared to not curl the fuck up and die because OMG I AM NOT SKINNY. Thats right. People put their fucking hands on me because I am a fabulous, fat woman. The way to deal with it is to just block (or physically ignore) the assholes. Dont read the comments on a controversial thread. Just take them happy hips and move along. Ive seen the skinny girl hate. Mostly in a group I admin that is dedicated to women with curves. We let them know skinny bashing does not occur there, and remove offending comments. Simple as that.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/17/2012 11:09:10 PM

KaleidoKenlyn

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I get shit from both ends occasionally. In my day to day life, I am teased relentlessly about being skinny (I'm not. Again, this will have a lot to do with my area). But in the online world, I have received a few emails calling me fat. (My brothers also like to tease me about my stomach on the rare occasion I wear a tight fitting shirt to family gatherings.) It's probably because I get it from both ends that I can empathize so readily with both sides.

"For the record; I don't focus on breasts, when I discuss a lady's figure, either. I'm talking about the curve of the hips/ass."
I do that as well, and for my personal tastes I agree with the opinions you had about those celebs.

"Recently, I was physically accosted just because I was a fat woman that dared to not curl the fuck up and die because OMG I AM NOT SKINNY. Thats right. People put their fucking hands on me because I am a fabulous, fat woman. "
Holy jeez, that's terrible!! I've traveled around the States quite a bit and never seen that sort of behavior. I'm so sorry. :/

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/17/2012 11:10:38 PM

KyttynTheMynx

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That behavior happens all over. There are youtube videos of people verbally abusing (or more) passengers on buses or trains because they happen to be fat. Not a new phenomenon.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/17/2012 11:12:16 PM

sexyred1

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OP, people are going to be assholes whether you are too skinny or too fat or too blue or too green.

I have seen BBW bashing and skinny girl bashing. What can you do? You cannot control what people think or do you can only control your reaction to it, right?

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/17/2012 11:22:11 PM

Thaz

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There is far to much intolerance of either end of the scale. Hurling abuse at someone who is overweight will not make them eat less, normally the reverse is true. Likewise someone painfully underweight isnt going to suddenly pile on the bounds.

Anyone ever seen 'Supersizw vs Superskinny' ? I sont vouch for the program as it gives some airtime to one of the more objectionable 'foodologists' out there, however the rest of the show is intresting where they pair a super-morbidly obese person with someone with a eating disorder who is dramaticaly underweight. Lock them up in a house for a week and swap diets....at the end of which overweight person finds out they dont keel over and collapse on tiny amounts and the skinny person might find out that food in fact tastes good and being full now and then isnt a bad thing. There is a lot in common for either extreme.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/17/2012 11:24:19 PM

KaleidoKenlyn

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Red, you're absolutely right. People are going to be jerks.
I posted this because I don't think people realize they are being jerks when they bash skinny girls. (They know exactly what they're doing when they are mean to big girls, which is why I didn't go on about it)
I think and hope that they do it mistakenly. And I hope that by posting this, I can maybe get a few people to think twice about doing it in the future.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 1:38:42 AM

littlewonder

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When I was a size 2, my older sister said I looked like a prostitute on heroin. I thought I looked absolutely wonderful and it was the perfect size for my body being that I am only 5'3". Then when I was heavy, I had people who would stare and it made me extremely uncomfortable and my self esteem went down the toilet. Now that I'm simply an average weight I don't get people saying anything except at my girls' group who are all for the most part, a little large. Then when everyone else is eating the food everyone brings for our meetings and I say I'm watching what I eat I get "but you're already skinny. What weight do you need to lose?" and yeah, others may take that as a compliment but I find it extremely uncomfortable.

So you see, no matter what size you are there will always be someone who doesn't like the way you look and will let you know under no uncertain terms.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 3:58:47 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

So you see, no matter what size you are there will always be someone who doesn't like the way you look and will let you know under no uncertain terms.

Agreed.

The whole thing started off as pushback to discrimination against overweight people, especially women. Unfortunately, what was intended as support for bigger women seems to have morphed into discrimination against skinnier ones.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 4:01:30 AM

JanahX

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Im thin - and people dont normally hate on me because Im thin - its usually because Im being an asshole.

Also - when people post stuff like what youve mentioned, its just pointing out that persons own insecurities.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 8/18/2012 4:18:13 AM >

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 4:15:22 AM

GreedyTop

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but Janah..you're OUR skinny asshole ;)

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 4:17:21 AM

JanahX

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This is true -and Im only an asshole to people that are just BEGGING for it.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 4:45:58 AM

GreedyTop

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*MWAH*

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 4:49:35 AM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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Some folks fell the need to put others down. I am a fat chick, and I don't even understand the anger so many fat chicks have towards the unfat chicks.

Kind of Don't hate me and judge me because I am fat, but I can hate and judge you because you aint......makes no sense.

Preferences are preferences, hating is hating. Nothing we can do to change others, we can just change our selves.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 5:37:59 AM

Ninebelowzero

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Maybethis is equal opportunity body fascism. After all the larger ladies have took the brunt for ages.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 5:55:17 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

but Janah..you're OUR skinny asshole ;)

Do anuses come in 'skinny' and 'fat' shapes? I've never noticed that. Mind you, I haven't conducted an extensive study of the subject.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 6:35:59 AM

Lucifyre

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Personally I am not into really large women, nor am I into extremely thin women. But my tastes are just that...*MY* tastes. The only persons body size and image I can do anything about is my own, Which if you've been paying attention to my other thread, I have been working diligantly on. I don't pay attention to what other people have to say about my weight, though I know when I am heavy people DO talk. I know when I am all healed up and am of the shape I want to be in a few months people are still going to have comments...negative as well as positive.
I can't control othe rpeople's opinions about my size, but I can control how I react. I am working hard to get to where I want to be, so negative comments are going to just bounce off me and roll into the gutter where they belong. I will feel good about my image because I am the one who will have made it happen.

Lucifyre

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 7:07:57 AM

stellauk

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I think what it is is that somewhere deep down in our psyche we look for reflections of ourselves in other people, but when those we come across are different from us we have to make the extra effort, but some people either can't or won't.

It isn't because a woman is skinny or fat that brings out the hatred or abuse, it's because they are different to what is expected of them, as in "perceived" societal expectations. This is something I learned through being transgendered. It's just tied to body size or shape because femininity is judged largely on appearance. Some will objectify you because of your size and shape, but others will hate you.

I work with actors and some of the things actresses come up against at casting calls and auditions is sometimes quite mind-blowing. One was turned down for a role as a femme fatale because she's larger than a size 8. The director told her that 'larger women tend not to have any control over their sex lives because they have limited choices for lovers.'

This thing about what society expects is an illusion. Society is only that world what exists outside your front door, and it's populated by individuals. As far as I'm aware nobody has ever passed a law obliging women to be eye candy. It doesn't matter who you are or how you look, you will always find people who accept you as you are.

Live for them and screw everybody else. They just don't matter. Seriously.

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RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. - 8/18/2012 9:00:42 AM

LanaDeVille

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Call me lucky? I guess. I've rarely felt any "body shame". I'm not a size 2, but I am a size 6, with a small waist, and plenty of upper and lower body. I did track for a while, and when I did, my thighs grew a lot and I got stretchmarks, but I said, "So what?" And went on with my business.

*shrugs*

I don't see why people care so much about "the media". I've never wanted to look like Kate Moss. I love my body.

But then again, I've never been criticized for my body. I think I had someone call me ugly one time when I started High School...and to put it bluntly...it was laughable, considering the person who was saying it to me. Another time this group of "big" girls called me a skinny bitch once. And I laughed at that too. Those are the only incidents I can think of.

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