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ClassAct2006 -> RE: Having a" 50 Shades of Grey" moment. (8/22/2012 5:09:45 AM)
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Very true but the ones who have planned lives - usually those of us with our own businesses, careers, children, families and commitments rarely gel well with the free spirit non-planners. It is a bit like the issue of someone who spends every penny marrying someone who is a miser - never good pairings.
As a family we have things in our diaries booked through to late 2013. Skiing this Christmas was booked in February 2012 etc etc.
Also as a sub I like total reliability and no changes, someone utterly reliable who says what he will do and it happens then, no shocks, changes surprises, just total reliability. I don't mean in terms of the physical things he might do but in terms of is it 6pm or 6.20pm when we will speak as that 20 minutes I will not be painting my nails gazing into space but probably working or fixed someone to deal with a child and if someone is 20 minutes late they have in effect stolen that time from me.....
This obviously shows why lots of men who want a free spirit girl with nothing much on, the air head who never quite does what she will say, the ditzy little thing with her head in the clouds, needs to avoid subs like I am like the plague.
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ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
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ORIGINAL: ClassAct2006
You haven't had sex yet so no rush. Just see how it goes.
1. He may be married (and that is his relationship).
2. He may have a certain kind of girl he wants to fallin love with marry, take home to mother, have babies with and you just don't happen to be someone who ticks enough of the right boxes for that.
3. He may simply not be in love but likes the idea of some sex - which is fine - he has been really clear with you so not misled you.
I like relationships. I like men I can talk to and listen to and do things with and ultimately integrate into their life rather than being some dirty secret for sex on Fridays. You say he hates makingp lans - for me that is a massive warning sign as anyone with a sensbile organised good life can make plans. Someone who won't make plans is just waiting to see if a better girl calls him that night or his friends from the pub want him and only if none of that materialises will be settle with the girl he's not in a relationship with. Men with diaries who are reliable and stick to what they say and plan are the ones to go for.
Hey, I don't like making plans. It's got nothing to do with "looking for something better". It's about will I actually feel like DOING something at a future point (sometimes I just am NOT UP for being social), or I have no way to determine how my day will go at that point, or if I will be feeling well, or if something re: family might pop up (my Mom is in her mid-70s). There are reasons for not being a future-planner, and they don't alway indicate WORST CASE stuff.
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