SlipSlidingAway
Posts: 223
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
IMO, the only type of punishment that of which you can actually measure the effort it cost her is making her to writing exercises.
If you tell her to slap her own pussy, or to not touch her, you're relaying on her to punish herself, and you don't have a measure for whether or not she can be trusted to obey commands like that, because you guys have been online only so far.
Trusting her to obey and carry out punishments and commands doesn't really work until you know to what extend you can actually trust her. Until then you are jeopardizing your authority over her with every command you cannot actually check on/enforce, and risk encouraging disobedience and lying to you. If you actually intend to move your relationship offline at some point, I would stick to commands you know will be obeyed or you can actually enforce until such time that you are actually offline with her.
That's not punishment for everyone, either. It would be a reward for me as I love to write...
However, it might work as discipline.
I think people sometimes don't emphasize the difference between punishment and discipline enough. Punishment in punitive and not always directed at bringing about change. Discipline, however, is designed to make the person a better disciple, a better follower. It's goal is clear: to bring the other person around to being more compliant. I have never been great with punishment, it's not a dynamic that works with me. If I'm in a D/s relationship, I'm there because I want to follow my Dom's lead. So, when I fail? It's not done intentionally and punishment is just going to compound the problem.
A lot of people are passive aggressive in getting what they want. If the OP's sub had simply expressed her need for some impact play she would not have had to be disobedient to get it. While I understand some folks play that way, it is something that undermines the power exchange. I'm not saying she would have gotten her spanking, that would be up to her Dom, but I have found (with intelligent Doms, which is a prerequisite for me) that I am much more likely to get what I need out of the relationship by being honest and following his rules.
< Message edited by SlipSlidingAway -- 8/25/2012 6:23:19 AM >
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"...ethical behavior should be based...on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death. " —Albert Einstein
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RE: Physical & non physical rewards and punishments - 
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