RE: tolerance among us

RE: tolerance among us (Full Version)

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Bearlee -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:46:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee <~~ is happy he IS here... Course, now we're back to that inspiring statement "It all depends on what 'is' is" ...especially considering we're all just pixels in the wind, here! (yeah, I know it was not a direct quote)

MasterR001 -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:46:45 AM)
Yikes!!! Spelling and grammar count????????????? [:o]

Bearlee -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:47:55 AM)
quote: quote: MasterR001: Yup, Spelling anf grammar count! I mean it, too. <cries FOUL> heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!! I quoted you exactly!!! <sigh> ...and ya wrecked my 'joke', dammit! <giggles wildly>

talibahh -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:51:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Brosco Living in Australia I can always claim that my typos and spelling mistakes are actually the Australian spelling and that yanks shouldn't be such a pain in the arse to disenfranchise the rest of the world. lol... agreed [:D] we Aussies should stick together... [;)] tali

ADomDoc -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:57:45 AM)
There is no point in criticizing an individual for bad spelling, grammar, syntax, etc. What a person puts in his/her ad/profile & posts represents them. If they are dyslexic, the can use spelling checkers if they want (it might take an extra step checking it offline & then cutting & pasting it to collarme). Any of us can do that. If a person chooses not to do that, or doesn't care to make the effort ... then that's how they put themselves out to the group. Some will devalue those people's comments or profiles because they put themselves forth in a poor manner. Other readers won't care. Still others won't know the difference. To each his own ... there's someone out there for each of us. And ... folks who act as spelling police only incur the approbation of the general populace ... and ... as the saying goes ... “Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.” If you don't like someone's spelling ... move on ... they aren't worth the aggravation. YMMV :-)

skittykitty -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 7:58:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: talibahh quote: ORIGINAL: Brosco Living in Australia I can always claim that my typos and spelling mistakes are actually the Australian spelling and that yanks shouldn't be such a pain in the arse to disenfranchise the rest of the world. lol... agreed [:D] we Aussies should stick together... [;)] tali Aussie aussie aussi OI OI OI hides

Sinergy -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 8:12:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eroticangel ok.....so it is who i am too. just easier to blanket it by saying lifestyle. and i guess it's just that i thought we were more tolerant of people...or maybe i am just more tolerant. but the bottom line is...do we have to belittle people for their mistakes? Hello A/all, Taggard put it best. The problem with the online media is that it is how you present yourself to the community at large. A post that is poorly worded, filled with misspelled words, bad grammar, etc., speaks volumes about the sort of person who would post it. (On a similar note, a post filled with flames and venom and accusations and intolerant ranting also says something about the person posting it.) A person who apologizes up front, states their lack of learning, disability, second language issues, etc., is generally tolerated by those who have more experience or education in the use of the English language. A person who does not leaves the audience to try to figure out for themselves if the person is ignorant / inexperienced / uneducated or simply stupid. Ignorance, inexperience, and lack of education can all be fixed. We all started pretty much from the same place, and most people in my experience are willing to take the time to help out other people. I am not certain their is a cure for stupidity, although the story Flowers For Algernon makes me wonder if that would really help matters if there was. Just what I think, and I could be wrong, but there you go. Sinergy

bandit25 -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 8:15:02 AM)
You're right, Doc. I do get aggravated and I can't even tell you why.

MstrTiger -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 8:15:54 AM)
There is a current trend on these boards for people to basically attack and belittle each other for the most petty and insignificant reasons such as spelling and grammar mistakes. What actually goes through the mind of someone who takes the time out of their lives to go to the effort of posting a response to someone just to tell them that they have no intention of responding to them because they misspelled a few words in their message? I have also noticed threads where people asking perfectly sensible simple questions asking for advice from people on slightly unorthodox subjects are mocked and belittled by people with no other justification other than the fact that they think their approach to expressing themselves is so much better than the approach of the person who posted the opening message. The thing that offends me the most is the tendency that seams to have developed for people to go out of their way to attack and belittle people because they are ether new to the boards or people new to BDSM on account of their obvious lack of knowledge rather than offering them any practical advice, I regard such attacks as nothing more than a particularly rude form of intellectual vanity. I think in some ways a lot of the people in the BDSM community are actually less tolerant than the average population I generally find people in the average population are usually indifferent or generally accepting of lifestyles different to their own whereas some people in the BDSM community try to attack or belittle people whose approach to BDSM differs from their own. I think the people in the general community see people who practice BDSM as having an addition to their sex lives whereas people within the BDSM community see people whose approach differs to their own as almost in competition with them even if it is on a somewhat subconscious level.

theRose4U -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 8:23:11 AM)
Tolerence isn't going to be greater amongs BDSMer's than it is going to be amongst those in a knitting circle. People come to the boards and say I've been here 5 minutes and no one is jumping my bones yet can you please look at my profile and tell me why? When you look at the profile it's got multiple mis-spellings, is hard to read, has a bitchy or demanding tone or just tells you nothing about them. In the way that the OP explains how tolerence should be applied we should take a look and go humm it's great because we're tolerating they way they wrote it. HOWEVER when the original post is to find out what they can do to improve I prefer honesty as the best policy. Honesty isn't always an easy pill to swallow but the gentle rip of dude look at how you're presenting yourself is easier than the trauma that a newbie would suffer sitting on the sidelines because they haven't "packaged" themselves to show who they are in the best light.

TxBadMan -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 8:28:10 AM)
Did you know that ONLINE; words are the first impression one get's of another. What they write, how they form their words, SPELLING; all sift together to form an opinion of the person posting. When I see a post that is so horribly put together; mispelled words, unfinished thoughtst, etc; all it tells me is that the poster could care less how others view them. It has nothing to do with being 'tolerant', and everything to do with what I, as an individual, find pleasing and what I do not. If the person posting finds offense in the fact that I might point out such things, then they should not have left their post in such a sad way. Again, it has nothing to do with being intolerant and everything to do with what I find pleasing to the eye.

cuddleheart50 -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 8:32:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TxBadMan Did you know that ONLINE; words are the first impression one get's of another. What they write, how they form their words, SPELLING; all sift together to form an opinion of the person posting. When I see a post that is so horribly put together; mispelled words, unfinished thoughtst, etc; all it tells me is that the poster could care less how others view them. It has nothing to do with being 'tolerant', and everything to do with what I, as an individual, find pleasing and what I do not. If the person posting finds offense in the fact that I might point out such things, then they should not have left their post in such a sad way. Again, it has nothing to do with being intolerant and everything to do with what I find pleasing to the eye. I second that!!! :)

happypervert -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 8:32:47 AM)
quote: i think we are more tolerant....more open and more understanding I think there may be some truth to this, but not for the reasons you think. Folks often go on about how "we" are more honorable, sensual, self-aware, and even wiser along with other things such as being better communicators. That is all a bunch of rubbish and perhaps nothing more than self-flattery and elitism. About the only quality we may have more of is craziness. Just look around -- there are a lot of wackos here and maybe more than have a firm grip on reality. Seems to me we must be more tolerant of nuts or they would go away and settle somewhere else; perhaps we just know so many unstable people we shrug our shoulders and say "here's another one." So all you really have is an uneasy tolerance of another inmate in the asylum, just like we tolerate the jerks we have to work with. Don't delude yourself into thinking it is anything more than that.

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 8:56:21 AM)
I've never claimed to be a particularly Tolerant person. Open minded? Yes, definately. Tolerant? Pffffttttttttt - tolerance is highly overrated and easily becomes a slippery slope when it starts being preached at me. My tolerance ends with the concept of your kink isn't necessarily my kink, and as long as your kink is Consensual, I won't bug you about it (to much.) I've spent a lot of time over the years as a Tutor and Instructor of English at the college level, both as a general tutor for those struggling to master Composition and as a teaching assistant for those learning English as a Second Language. During my years as a professional tutor, I specialized in working with those who had specific learning disabilities. I've spent some time as an Editor, due to my persuit of Writing as both a hobby and profession. My training has lent itself to the formation of habits like automatically scanning with an eye towards spelling, grammer, and Punctuation. Those are the core of written communication. In a media where the written word is the Only means of conveying intent, it becomes critical that such issues be addressed. Often I find myself wondering when the standards lowered so drastically, that people managed to get out of elementary school when they're barely capable of spelling their own name, are incapable of basic comprehension past the 5th grade level, and can't structure a sentence to save their souls. Am I an eliltist? Rarely. Am I a Snob? Probably, but not towards material possessions. Am I sometimes judgemental? Yep. That one I freely admit to. It's part of the basic human psyche, and impossible to completely escape unless one is willing to cease having opinions and preferences - both of which are things that I treasure. (Ghods I just love that quick responce feature when I don't want to write multiple posts)

twicehappy -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 9:02:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom I am tolerant if you want to slit open your consenting partner's arm and use the blood as lubricant for anal sex, if you like fucking men during the week and women on the weekend, if you are a male slave who loves eating shit, or all sorts of other kinks. I have no tolerance for people who cheat on others, who abuse their trust, who are power tripping assholes, who are making what I believe to be serious relationship errors, or who believe theirs is the "one true way". As for spelling, guess what? My spelling is horrible, but I recognize my weakness and have taken steps to take care of it. I don't attack spelling often, but I have on certain occasions when I felt it appropriate and I will continue to do so. Quick, call the Pentagon!!!!!! The world is ending!!!! C.D., I AGREE WITH YOU WHOLE HEARTEDLY ON THIS ONE. (now everybody excuse while i go disinfect my keyboard)

puella -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 9:16:25 AM)
Hello eroticangel, Although I can certainly understand your immediate reaction to what you perceive as nit-pickiness (er.... I am using the bit of German heritage I have to allow me to make up new words to fit my need for expression!) or even judgmental, confrontational or unbecoming behavior in posts here and there. The thing is, by the very nature of what you are saying in your post, everyone has a right to express who they are, and what they think is right.. even if it offends your personal style, ethos, codes of conduct, etc. There is just no way everyone will ever come to some Utopian consensus on behavior and philosophy... and I think that is a good thing... you have a very small chance of learning anything new from a bunch of people nodding their heads in time, in affirmation to ideas and sermonizing they all already subscribe to. If you do not like the way they speak, you certainly have the right to address that to them when they post (just as much a right as they have to post that way). There are many who will find your 'call for tolerance' as an infringement upon their rights, etc.. so the idea that any one of us has it 100% right for anyone other than ourselves is a slippery slope of thinking. I can only suggest that if you do not like the way some people post here, do not emulate their style. The best way to promote the way you wish to see things done is not to put out a blanket demand for it, but to carry out what you preach in your own behaviors. To try to fix anyone but yourself, is usually an exercise in futility, and even on some level, an exercise in some sort of missionary zealotry, even if unintentional. I know you are just wishing to find a happier medium here. You can not , however, demand others to behave according to what you feel are better standards. You can, of course, impose those standards on yourself, often to a very great success rate. If you are continually offended by a poster, ignore him. If you are offended by an issue being debated, do not participate in it. If you want to lead people into a better way of being... lead by example.

puella -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 9:18:30 AM)
***** Unless of course you are having trouble with Crappy Dom, my future intended (yes, I know that is a redundancy)... then of course you can bring your problems to me, and I will pummel you unconscious! hehehe[;)]

sharainks -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 9:28:35 AM)
Maybe one of the biggest shocks to me was that tolerance is just as lacking inside the lifestyle as out. Maybe more so. Most of what I believed about this initially has turned out to be untrue as well. "Doms are strong well centered responsible people." No more so than non doms in my experience. "People in the lifestyle are more self aware" again not in my experience. "People who are into bdsm are more intelligent overall than vanillas" interesting idea but again not from what I've seen. I think we get exactly the same mix of personality traits, intellect, and self awareness as in the population as a whole.

darkinshadows -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 9:30:26 AM)
quote: I think in some ways a lot of the people in the BDSM community are actually less tolerant than the average population This sentance made me think of something - because in a sense it is true. It made me think it could be people have less tolerance within BDSM because so many have expectations. You see list after of what people 'want'... lists on 'limits'... lists on 'desires'... so with all that in peoples heads - with all the expectation of what makes a 'perfect' relationship inside wiitwd, people just automatically assess others when they do not make their 'lists' or 'standards'... It is easeir to be less tolerant and shout down an opposing idea, than to support and uphold your own. Just a thought that popped into my head reading Tigers words. Peace and Rapture

awhisper -> RE: tolerance among us (6/11/2006 9:33:16 AM)
Couldn't have said it better myself, even with a dictionary and a thesaurus! giggles quote: ORIGINAL: ADomDoc There is no point in criticizing an individual for bad spelling, grammar, syntax, etc. What a person puts in his/her ad/profile & posts represents them. If they are dyslexic, the can use spelling checkers if they want (it might take an extra step checking it offline & then cutting & pasting it to collarme). Any of us can do that. If a person chooses not to do that, or doesn't care to make the effort ... then that's how they put themselves out to the group. Some will devalue those people's comments or profiles because they put themselves forth in a poor manner. Other readers won't care. Still others won't know the difference. To each his own ... there's someone out there for each of us. And ... folks who act as spelling police only incur the approbation of the general populace ... and ... as the saying goes ... “Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.” If you don't like someone's spelling ... move on ... they aren't worth the aggravation. YMMV :-)

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