RE: The BDSM Lifestyle - You can FCUK it.

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RE: The BDSM Lifestyle - You can FCUK it. - 6/12/2006 8:58:45 AM

wkdshdw

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/12/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I am ranting.
Why do I have to be pushed into 'belonging'? Why do I have to be all chums with a specific group or certain set of values?

You don't. As an example, I don't get along with anyone my age(which is a group of people), and I won't get along with everyone here(a group of people that I also share a few values with). It's naive to believe you will be 'chums' with everyone, or belong with a certain group. I'd be wary of anyone suggesting that you should even attempt to be everyones friend.

quote:

...

So fine - BDSM is a Lifestyle for some people - great and kudos to you. But please - don't insist it is was BDSM is all about and that EVERYONE who practises is in it. Because that just isn't true.

I really would have to say again that anyone insisting BDSM is all about a lifestyle and community for everyone is wearing the rose colored glasses, not to mention they're probably quite self centered. Perhaps that is the person's view on the subject, but you can't possibly thing that everyone has the same idea of "what it is all about", or even the same interest in BDSM. For some people it's a lifestyle, for some people it doesn't extend beyond the bedroom.

Also, for quite a few people that are "into" BDSM, they have no community and are isolated in their interests - like I was until recently. Another example being, I have two friends locally in all, and neither of them know of my interests in BDSM. They won't know about it either, because I'm semi-afraid of being judged and possibly rejected.

It's the same way with many people, at the same time as being completely different.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

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RE: The BDSM Lifestyle - You can FCUK it. - 6/12/2006 10:02:59 AM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
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I don't care if it's called a lifestyle or a community, it doesn't make any difference to me. I like BD/SM=Bondage/Sado-Maso..well some SM. Just because anyone says this is what they do, does NOT mean to what degree, to being into TPE, being a slave, sub, bottom, top, master, or anything else. I don't even care about why I even do it, the fact remains that I do, it's what I like and keeps me happy, it's what I want, hince, it's what I do. I think that any details can be worked out between the two people as to exactly what is or going to be involved. You ask questions, just in the same way you'd be asking questions of someone offline.
"Okay, I was raised, how about you?"
"Yes, I was raised."
" Good, we must be perfect for each other, we've both been raised. Let's get it on."

There is no simple cure for many words.

< Still waiting to see what kinda salad I'm gonna get on my plate, egg, chicken, cob salad? And what about that meatloaf, is it gonna have bell peppers, onion, mushrooms, is it all the leftovers from the refrig., or all fresh ingredients, crackers or oatmeal?...hmmmmm>

~Big
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RE: The BDSM Lifestyle - You can FCUK it. - 6/12/2006 1:41:59 PM

melnkolybabydoll

Posts: 39
Joined: 5/17/2006
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i tend to use the term "lifestyle", although not in the sense in which you mean. i use it loosely to describe the "style in which i choose to live", not as a way to live to fit in with a group, to live by others' interpretations and rules. i happen to subscribe to concepts of all of the acronym. (opening a can of worms, here) Does this make me "untrue" or "illegitimate" within any of the realms of BDSM??? i know to some it does. However, it is to my husband and myself i am true.

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RE: The BDSM Lifestyle - You can FCUK it. - 6/12/2006 2:18:35 PM

txpet

Posts: 200
Joined: 4/29/2006
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BDSM ... i acknowledge what many mean when They ask if i live that lifestyle but i define BDSM as the kinky parts of sex and not the power exchange.
Now, if i were asked if power exchange is my lifestisyle, i have to say yes . i am a slave 24/7 ... actually 24/7 is a phrase that i tend to have a problem with. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, i am avaiable to Master for whatever He wants. i do not however, live with Master. This makes me less of a slave? This makes me less dedicated because Master does not want a live in? This means that i am not 24/7 His property? Nope, it doesn't.
Ahem .. i wandered, i apologize.
i say that D/s or M/s is my lifestyle because i do not live a "normal" life. i get permission before i take actions. There are some People that understand that i can not color my hair without first speaking to Master and there are those that do not understand this. It is simply convenient for me to think that those who do understand are a community. They are not truly a community, they are a group of People that i can speak with openly without stopping to define and explain things to throughout my explanation.
For many people it is not a lifestyle .. this does not make them any less, but it does mean that they and i are not talking about the same thing when we discuss our choices and activities.

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txpet jennie

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Post #: 44

RE: The BDSM Lifestyle - You can FCUK it. - 6/12/2006 6:27:43 PM

CERCKL

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Joined: 3/4/2006
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Lifestyle? Fetish fashion? Community? Pride...etc, etc.

Some will define, some will belong, others exist.

I have many roles, I fulfill many roles; personally, I believe at a certain level, aware or not, we are in a continuous process of defining who we are, our 'personalities', choices, etc. I believe that that around us is an illusion, residual of creation, awareness of certain vibrations interpreting vibrations...

...and this answers the question how? Well, how do you desire to be defined? If I had been 'active' in BDSM, M/s, D/s at a consciously aware level in my early/mid-twenties...I would have been very visually obvious...I would have interacted with community, though as I was then and now at the fringes...prob'ly doing what I could then to fuck with icons, that held 'sacred' etc. Just cuz then I lived to fuck with people, their beliefs, expectations, norms...no matter how extreme the group I was involved with was (yes, then, I knew Satanists who thought I was a freak...).

Now, I exist, I am a father, I am involved in a seperation leading to divorce, I am working towrds developing my art, my spiritual awareness, my relationship with mine...I do the 'community' thing here, since I can between doing shit and it involves interacting in my family room; not against R/L community but my time, resources are limited now and I tend to be stingy with it...

I am focused on mine and our relationship, she has mentioned interest in later interacting with others...and then I will see.

For now, I am. That's all.

Well and being an asshole...
C

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AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

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Post #: 45

RE: The BDSM Lifestyle - You can FCUK it. - 6/13/2006 4:18:29 PM

MichMasochist

Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
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Personally I feel all this lifestyle, community, what some want BDSM to be, is or isn't, is them just isn't me and doesn't interest me at all. Most of the time it's only in the bed room that I actually indulge these interests.

As far as I'm concerned whoopee if it aint politically correct, or what someone else says BDSM does or doesn't include. I know what works for me and is worth it to me.

(in reply to CERCKL)

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Post #: 46