Role "Reversal"

Role "Reversal" (Full Version)

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Baroana -> Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 12:07:54 PM)
Do you other dominant women get as annoyed as I do when men start discussing their turn-ons in terms of "role reversal" activities? For example, the activity that I have seen them most commonly place under this tag is strap-on sex. To me, describing such activity as "role reversal" entails many distasteful assumptions. Perhaps that is why I take a negative view of strap-ons. Am I alone here?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 12:19:23 PM)
Yes. OH HELL YES. Are we ranting, or just seeking validation?

Lockit -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 12:19:23 PM)
Role reversal to me is a descriptive term I use sometimes to describe a whole relationship and to do so quickly and it is not just a sexual act. If anyone brings all of this down to a sexual act, then they don't get the big picture I see and are only seeing a small focus area I wouldn't be interested in. As for a role reversal as you describe... it is offensive, though I wouldn't be offended. As if a dominant woman is trying to be a man and doesn't have a desire to be in charge and must act out a part of another gender. It also suggests to me that the person speaking is seeing from this view and I wouldn't have anything to do with his ignorant ass. It says a lot I am too tired to even think about at the moment, so I am keeping it simple.

Baroana -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 12:22:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Yes. OH HELL YES. Are we ranting, or just seeking validation? Does it matter? Actually, in addition to ranting, I am looking for other opinions. I like it when people say things that make me see an issue in a way I have not seen it before.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 12:24:23 PM)
Ah, then you might be in the wrong place![:D]

DarkSteven -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 12:44:56 PM)
By "role reversal", do you mean women wearing strap-ons and men crossdressing?

Baroana -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 12:46:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven By "role reversal", do you mean women wearing strap-ons and men crossdressing? They're not my words. However, the primary inference I make from the use of such language is that "role reversal" means the woman exercises power over the man. Common expression of this, apparently, involves the woman putting something pointy into one or more holes in the man.

Tantriqu -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 1:01:53 PM)
I find strap-ons and men sexually receptive to them a huge turn-on. Not a requirement, but no man has turned me down, straight or sub! To me, it's not to degrade or humiliate or feminise, it's about my control, my pleasure and their desire to receive and give pleasure. Plus, no one gets pregnant and I come like a bull. And telling a good man to strip, ready the equipment, assume the position, beg to be Taken then I come in his ass?! [happy shiver!]. But men who only feel submissive when cross-dressing and calling themselves sluts, whores or bitches are the antithesis and a major turn-off; to me, it mocks the female.

BambiBoi -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 1:05:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana ... Actually, in addition to ranting, I am looking for other opinions. I like it when people say things that make me see an issue in a way I have not seen it before. Since you invited the devil's advocate... First let me say I understand where you are coming from. When the concept of "being made into a woman" is viewed as humiliated and degrading then there is an unstated assumption that being a woman is worse than being a man. But I think this view oversimplifies the scenario by skipping important details. What kind of woman is the man being made into, and how? You don't see a lot of forced-fem roleplay where the man is made into a CEO type in a suit, blouse, and pencil skirt. It's usually a scantily clad tart with degrading phrases like "SPUNK DUMP" written on my chest in messy lipstick that one Halloween weekend. Edit to add: And its offensive to suggest that behavior makes a man into a woman. It makes a man into a sex toy, which is actually objectification. [OPTIONAL FLOW OF CONSCIOUSNESS READING BEGINS HERE] The same is true with strap-on play. Usually the bottom is bound or bent over. Throughout the mammalian class, most mating happens when the one with the rod tackles, mounts, and borderline rapes the one with the socket. Many times the female is the proud huntress, but is made to submit through cunning or force. There is also a challenge in titling certain activities. When I think "role reversal" I think 1950's household kink (which is not like a real 1950's household, more like the romanticized TV version) with genders reversed. Our culture still believes in "man's work" and "woman's work." Children still think a nurse or maid should be a woman and a plumber or firefighter should be a man. The reality is changing (and fast) but the human psyche holds onto that certainty. So tinkering with it is taboo. And taboos are fun. I don't think the role reversal theory is as simple as "if a penis like object goes inside you, you're someone's bitch." But I do think that if you make someone "your bitch" by sticking a penis in them.... Well, that makes them what you set out to make them. Even fellating a strap on is the bottom's way of indicating respect for the tool that will assert dominance over the bottom. But its not that having a penis is strength. See generally CBT, male chastity devices. Many couples (usually those with a more open view on human sexuality) understand that anal pleasure through strap-ons can be done lovingly and enjoyed by either party. Its just that this kind of pornography is hard to market and sell.

Baroana -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 1:30:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BambiBoi I don't think the role reversal theory is as simple as "if a penis like object goes inside you, you're someone's bitch." But I do think that if you make someone "your bitch" by sticking a penis in them.... Well, that makes them what you set out to make them. Even fellating a strap on is the bottom's way of indicating respect for the tool that will assert dominance over the bottom. But its not that having a penis is strength. See generally CBT, male chastity devices. Many couples (usually those with a more open view on human sexuality) understand that anal pleasure through strap-ons can be done lovingly and enjoyed by either party. Its just that this kind of pornography is hard to market and sell. Great post. Bambi. I want to address these last parts. I hear this: "if a penis like object goes inside you, you're someone's bitch" ...and variations of it all the time...and from people that I would not generally consider to be sexist. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! As far as people, or at least men in general, believing that having a penis is strength, I think this is generally true. It is beyond dispute that penises are time-honored symbols of power. It seems to me that this mentality leads directly to the popularity of activities like CBT. It is still closely related to that kinky "role reversal" (i.e., "Humiliate me by debasing my power center"; "use my own penis against me to reverse the balance of power"; or "lock it up and make me 'impotent'"). Lastly, I like what you said at the end about the loving use of strap-ons. Maybe I'll have the opportunity to try it one day.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 1:35:05 PM)
I only use my strapon with someone I'm in a relationship with. Fisting and all that other stuff is open for negotiation. Me rubbing up against someone and getting all out of breath? Not for the random playmate. And why am I not LOOKING at him? The idea that you can only have sex in one position is just... o.O

PeonForHer -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 2:46:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana Do you other dominant women get as annoyed as I do when men start discussing their turn-ons in terms of "role reversal" activities? For example, the activity that I have seen them most commonly place under this tag is strap-on sex. To me, describing such activity as "role reversal" entails many distasteful assumptions. Perhaps that is why I take a negative view of strap-ons. Am I alone here? Good point, Baroana. Also, may I say just how much it turns me on when I see women being balanced and stuff. Phwoargh! [:)]

Alecta -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 2:48:26 PM)
A masochist walked up to a sadist and said "hurt me", the sadist said no and walked away...... I'm that sadist lol So yes, it turns me off when supposed role-reversal and power exchange activities are described as turn-ons by the sub. It smacks of one who's looking for a fetish delivery system. But mostly, if it's something you want, then it's just not fun for me anymore. UNLESS it is something I've instilled into you. So stranger going "do me with a strapon, baby, it's all I've ever wanted!" = turn off. MY sub/slave admitting he/she likes it when I use the strap-on = turn on. With "crossdressing" I'm more ambiguous. I don't view legitimate mtf persons as crossdressers, I relate to them according to the gender vibe I get off them. However, men who want to be humiliated by being made to wear female clothes/underwear = turn off. Men who don't actually want to crossdress but do it for me anyway = turn on; and general ambivalence for men who just like to wear panties shrug I think maybe it has to do with how involved I feel in the role-reversal?

Lucifyre -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 3:15:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BambiBoi Edit to add: And its offensive to suggest that behavior makes a man into a woman. It makes a man into a sex toy, which is actually objectification. BUT BUT BUT... even dressing a man as a "sex toy" as you put it, is STILL dressing him in a feminine sort of manner which is still implying that being female, ANY kind of female (since women can take on any role at any time) is a "downgrade" from remaining male. I also find that rather insulting. The world population would be down to about 10% of itself if men had to endure what women do through the course of thier lifetimes. I'm not a femininist, but I'll be damned if being female isn't extremely empowering! Holy crap, when I was pregnant I MADE a brand new life that after a short period would be able to sustain itself and go on to create another one all on it's own! All my husband provided was a few seconds of pleasure and a few cells ;) quote: The same is true with strap-on play. Usually the bottom is bound or bent over. But there is no need to assign gender to the bottom in that situation...simply assign "bottom" or "submissive" or "fuck receptacle" quote: Throughout the mammalian class, most mating happens when the one with the rod tackles, mounts, and borderline rapes the one with the socket. Many times the female is the proud huntress, but is made to submit through cunning or force. Personally I think Lions have it perfectly. The female is in charge most of the time and handles the day to day running of the prides life, including making sure the cubs are fed. But during sex and fighting (for pride assignment) the males take over (don't want to have to get our hands/paws dirty with all that messy scuffling LOL) quote: There is also a challenge in titling certain activities. When I think "role reversal" I think 1950's household kink (which is not like a real 1950's household, more like the romanticized TV version) with genders reversed. Our culture still believes in "man's work" and "woman's work." Children still think a nurse or maid should be a woman and a plumber or firefighter should be a man. The reality is changing (and fast) but the human psyche holds onto that certainty. So tinkering with it is taboo. And taboos are fun. [/quote/ But this is a problem with our society as a whole. Just because the kinky community figured out a way to bastardize it and maken it sexually charged and interesting doesn't make the original version of that the correct attitude. Again...it's empowering to be female and men would simply fail at it. <a little snipply snippy here> quote: Many couples (usually those with a more open view on human sexuality) understand that anal pleasure through strap-ons can be done lovingly and enjoyed by either party. Its just that this kind of pornography is hard to market and sell. Even adding to this...Mr can "submit" to me using a strap on on him and STILL remain dominant even during the act itself. He doesn't have to give up any of His maleness or His dominance to enjoy it, and I don't have to give up any of my femaleness or my submissiveness to get off on it.....though being a switch if I am in a situation with a submissive male it gets me just as charged but with a different mindset entirely. Now, adding to my above response, I am a strong advocate of "YKIOK,IJNMK" But I will admit wholly do dissapproving of some other people's kinks...I just won't verbalize it to anyone because well...whatever gets your dynamic going is your business I can just choose not to participate. There are some folks that do some shit that just outright squicks me....but it's not my place to tell them it's fucked up because the kink being fucked up is MY opinion and MY problem, not thiers. *uugh...kids fighting...I may finish this later Lucifyre

Baroana -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 4:35:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucifyre quote: ORIGINAL: BambiBoi Edit to add: And its offensive to suggest that behavior makes a man into a woman. It makes a man into a sex toy, which is actually objectification. BUT BUT BUT... even dressing a man as a "sex toy" as you put it, is STILL dressing him in a feminine sort of manner which is still implying that being female, ANY kind of female (since women can take on any role at any time) is a "downgrade" from remaining male. I also find that rather insulting. The world population would be down to about 10% of itself if men had to endure what women do through the course of thier lifetimes. I'm not a femininist, but I'll be damned if being female isn't extremely empowering! Agreed! Edited to add: Actually, I disagree with part of the last sentence. I am a feminist.

LadyPact -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 4:42:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana They're not my words. However, the primary inference I make from the use of such language is that "role reversal" means the woman exercises power over the man. Common expression of this, apparently, involves the woman putting something pointy into one or more holes in the man. Out of curiosity, did this thread happen to be sparked by one of the threads in General today? Speaking as someone who happens to enjoy putting objects in holes (strap on and/or sounds) if the "role reversal" term got used in association with that, (or stuff like humiliation, emasculation, any reference to 'not a man' grouping, etc) that is not the person that I would be sticking any thing in their hole. I want the man who doesn't need to feel it must be his position to be "lowered" to that of female to be controlled by Me. That to Me says that he isn't as comfortable in being male and wanting these things. Many of these types that do this tend to have issues related to gender, where they feel power lies due to stereotypes, or acceptance of themselves in relation to such things.

Baroana -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 4:54:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana They're not my words. However, the primary inference I make from the use of such language is that "role reversal" means the woman exercises power over the man. Common expression of this, apparently, involves the woman putting something pointy into one or more holes in the man. Out of curiosity, did this thread happen to be sparked by one of the threads in General today? Speaking as someone who happens to enjoy putting objects in holes (strap on and/or sounds) if the "role reversal" term got used in association with that, (or stuff like humiliation, emasculation, any reference to 'not a man' grouping, etc) that is not the person that I would be sticking any thing in their hole. I want the man who doesn't need to feel it must be his position to be "lowered" to that of female to be controlled by Me. That to Me says that he isn't as comfortable in being male and wanting these things. Many of these types that do this tend to have issues related to gender, where they feel power lies due to stereotypes, or acceptance of themselves in relation to such things. Chances are, someone said something today that prompted this. However, I do not remember anymore. Certainly if someone mentioned the words "role reversal," or mentioned strap-ons, it would have gotten me thinking about this. I totally agree with the comments above.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 6:40:10 PM)
"role reversal" . . . the day my slave spanks me, ties me up, knocks me down, whispers her erotic dominant intentions in my ear and chokes me as she fucks me in the ass is the day . . . well, the day I lost my job as I know it. I have been fortunate in that it has been dozens of years since a slave wanted to try on my pants when I wasn't looking. No, that didn't work out well for her and I found it quite annoying. I want a slave that wants their role not mine. And if somehow my pants fall off, if the bitch bends over to grab them, it better be to help me put them back on, not steal them and try them on herself. Not quite the same issues as you Dommes have regarding this but similar intent. Hope you don't mind my jumping into your thread.

Tantriqu -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 6:50:17 PM)
Nope, quite similar, except for me it would be: the day my sub TRIES to or even THINKS spank, tie, knock, choke, fuck, etc. is the day they lose more than their pants.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Role "Reversal" (8/25/2012 7:19:40 PM)
This thread reminds me of a joke. A newly married couple is on their honeymoon. The man is a huge burly guy who takes off his pants and hands them to his new bride. "Here honey, try these on." The pants are obviously much too huge for her very petite little body and she replies, "I can't wear your pants." "That's right," he answers smugly. "And don't you forget it." She thinks a moment and wiggles out of her tiny panties. "Here honey," she says, handing them to him. "Try these on." The panties are so small the husband can't get them past his shin. I can't get into your panties," he says sheepishly. "That's right, dear. And don't you forget it." As for the OP, I don't give a flying fart how the guy interprets an activity I like. If I want to peg him and he allows it, I will and could care less that he calls it 'role reversal'. I'll do it because I find it fulfilling. If he likes it too, good for him.

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