Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (Full Version)

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fullofgrace -> Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 11:46:04 AM)

so i recently had a moment of indecision about whether or not to put my pictures and city on my profile. i took both off for a few days. i just put them back on.

my indecision had to do with the fact that due to the nature of His work, i would not want anyone connecting the two of us and questioning this part of His life. also, i would not want it to interfere with anything business-wise for me; currently i'm self-employed as a webdesigner,  so it's not much of an issue, but once i do get a job.

however, i began thinking about the fact that it really takes all of two seconds to get on my website and see pictures of me there, and the fact that i'd send people pictures in msgs if they asked, and the fact that i am pretty open with ALL of my personal information. i used to manage my dad's website (still do, though he's passed, so i guess it's technically my website now) and his address was all over the place on it, as well as his last name. our last name is not particularly common, so searching it and finding out where i live, or at least where my sister lives and where my mother lived before she passed, is not too difficult. so as a result, knowing that i'm not really protecting myself by keeping it to myself, i've never been particularly closemouthed about handing over my personal info - photos, phone numbers, addresses, etc. i mean, i've only posted my address and phone number on two very close-knit message boards i'm a part of, but i often give my number to people in case they need someone to call if they're in trouble or are just really upset, etc.

as far as pictures go, i'm the same way. my lifestyle before had never necessitated keeping pictures a secret, and i share a lot of my photos in public directories with online and offline friends and family. i've always had pictures of me on my website and on message boards i post on, so putting some on cm never seemed like an issue before.

i've been sharing photos and personal info (at least city state and sometimes address for business purposes, for people who want to exchange letters or gifts, or for meetups) for years now and i've never really had any problems with it. i'm careful about who i give my phone number to, and except for business purposes, that's easy to keep fairly "secret."

i'm curious to hear about whether or not you put up pictures, how free you are with personal info (both in profile and in msgs) and why or why not...what have your experiences been with this?



NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 12:23:57 PM)

I put up my pictures and I give people my first name.  I don't give out my last name until I've approved someone in person.  I'm really pretty honest about who I am, though.  Not much gets edited out, though I could see why others would need to.



darkinshadows -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 12:30:50 PM)

I am 'out'.
People still call me 'dark' or 'angel' anyway even though they know my birthname.  My address goes out to people I know real time and nothing more unless I have known that person years.  My numbers not a problem either.
I did withdraw my image a while ago now, because a few years ago I found it was being used on a dating site.  But now, the internet it so unsafe, it is a choice I take it will probably happen and I just prepare myself for the fall out.  No biggie.  My art is on the net also - I cannot protect that entirely - but if someone uses it for their own, then they will be taken to court, pure and simple.
 
Peace and Rapture



desertdancer -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 12:56:00 PM)

I don't post my city or picture, not because I don't want to, I'd like to be able to.  However, I have had a real life stalker and I just don't want to take any chances of being found.  Having my pic and location listed on the net so blantently may not go well for me if I ever end up back in court.

I bellydanced professionally for a number of years, and we had a wonderful website, with pics of almost every edvent, and I had to remove myself from that as well (at the suggestion of a judge).. I wont go into how unfair it is to have to edit one's self witht things like not posting pics.

But yes, if I felt I could, i would[:D]

~dancer



JohnWarren -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 1:25:21 PM)

While it's not the same as a "in search of" profile, Libby and I had quite a discussion when The Loving Dominant was in the process of being published.  Initially, because I was an academic, I was thinking of having the author simply listed as my long-time scene-name, Mentor, but as the decision date got closer we decided that it would have more credibility if my real name were used.

When the second edition was in the works, Libby agreed that it would be a nice touch to have our pictures on the cover if only to dispell the belief, brought on my a lot of porn publications, that only "beautiful people" do this sort of thing.



fullofgrace -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 2:51:43 PM)

thanks for the responses :)

and john, i think you and libby definitely qualify under the beautiful people status. i've always thought the loving dominant photo was a very attractive one for you two. :)

*hugs desertdancer* i hope the stalker situation gets worked out eventually. people are crazy. my sister's children's father has a history of stalking and...just...her experiences with it have entirely freaked me out. i'm thinking of you and hoping you stay safe.




cuddleheart50 -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 3:05:03 PM)

Well, there is my picture and my name is Marsha....other than that, no info...



lisa1978 -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 3:06:47 PM)

I do not think there is a right or wrong answer to posting a picture and/or location. It is whatever you feel comfortable with. I put up my picture, but I am out to just about everybody I care about and for all I know even the ones I do not know about.

  I do not have a problem with anybody not posting a picture on the dating side. I do though expect them soon after we start communicating to send me one as a trust builder and just the right thing to do. Location is trickier. I think you can be looser with it if you are living in a major city but if you are not, I can see someone hiding that for a while.

  Generally I do not share any information that would make it easy to locate me. For me personally, I will not divulge the specific industry I work in because it would only take four or five phone calls to track me down. So that is what I protect, but other than that I believe in trying to share as much information as possible if the conversation goes that way. The more info exchanged the better chance of making sound judgments and I do not believe it should just be a one way exchange.



Level -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 3:19:48 PM)

My real name is Phuc Hui. I live in a cabbage patch.
 
*shakes head at myself*
 
I give out my real name to those I converse with, and I have in the past given out pics, but I don't know about putting one online... it could cause problems at work being the only reason. And I haven't given any out privately in awhile, I had all of them on my pc that hurricane Rita ate, and haven't bought a scanner to put any on the new one. I hope to address that soon.
 
Sincerely,
 
Phuc



ScooterTrash -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 3:24:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fullofgrace
i'm curious to hear about whether or not you put up pictures, how free you are with personal info (both in profile and in msgs) and why or why not...what have your experiences been with this?
Shifted and I both are fairly open about giving out info, and we use our own pictures on this site. She has been the victim of a stalker in the past, prior to us being together, but that is possible no matter what precautions you take. We aren't too concerned about it now...figuring they wouldn't like my attitude about stalking anyway. Phone numbers we are fairly open with as well....it isn't instant, but it doesn't take years either. If we feel someone is being fairly upfront about who they are, we will certainly open lines of communication. As for any effect in business or my job, anyone who knows me is aware that I don't conform well to the "norm" anyway, so finding out there is yet another facet to me wouldn't come as any surprise...lol. Actually, being different than what is deemed to be socially acceptable has been more an asset than hinderance...corporate heads are quicker to relax around me and just talk, knowing that even if they parted the Red Sea last week, I'm still not intimidated. I feel that if they ever figured out I used a flogger or a singletail...they might be the one who was a little timid, not really a bad thing.



indybbwsubbie -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 3:35:59 PM)

Becuz of my occupation and those who daily place their trust in me with the safety of their loved ones - my personal life has to remain private.  It took me quite a long time before i felt safe enuf to involve myself in the local community - and do feel protected enuf to be who i am with others in the lifestyle.  But i would never jeapordize my employment by disclosing my lifestyle there - for to do so would most likely mean the loss of it.   And as long as i pay my own way in life - the paycheck matters!!!

indy subbie (proudly owned by Master Alan)

"to chain the body is to free the soul"



Rule -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 3:36:44 PM)

I do not have a picture up. One reason is that I have no recent picture, another that I do not photograph well, a third that I am not looking.
 
I suppose that it does matter a bit. Now I am words on a screen and a picture would add a tiny bit more information to those words. On the other hand, the words do convey my message and a picture might detract from that.
 
My avatar has been selected with great care, though, and is one interpretation of my essence. Wulfchyld has created another one for me, an astounding image of my mind, and I intent to use it at some future time.
 
On another site I have another avatar appropriate for the site and one that I feel an affinity to. I use a nick there, but some people know that it is me.
 
On a third site I have an photograph of me, rather unflattering as I photograph badly, but it is not prominently displayed. I use a nick there, but when necessary I tell people my proper name in a private message.
 
Anybody who knows my real name can easily track me down, as I have done some things that required my name and address to be made public on the internet.



SpielMitMir -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 5:11:10 PM)

I have no problem with people not posting their pictures online.
But once I start talking to you. I do ask for a picture. I have some up of myself. You know who you are talking to. Why can't I?

It is very hard to be safe online. I have no idea how many people on this earth has seen pictures of me. I can live with that though.

With the job I have now. I know a lot of people have found profiles I have up and pictures. At first I was scared about it. But why should I be? This is me.

Pass my pictures. I do not tell anyone my real name. I will tell you my nickname. But pass that .... sorry.

If someone that knows me finds me on a site like this. Oh well. There is nothing they can say to hurt me. They must be into the same thing to even know about this site.

You out me. You also out yourself. Plain and simple.



juliaoceania -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 5:15:52 PM)

I have a bad webcam photo that someone may or may not recognize me from, it is rather grainy. I do not give my real name until I want to meet someone. I do not list the city I live in either.



champagnewishes -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 7:41:45 PM)

I post my pic...  I have thought that perhaps now would be a good time to take it down as i have children old enough to stumble across it, i will deal with that in the near future. 

I spent much time defending myself and my choice of lifestyle in courts during a nasty custody and divorce battle...i lost so at this point and time, i really don't care who finds me.



MistressLorelei -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 8:06:19 PM)

It's a personal preference and whatever anyone feels comfortable doing is probably the best thing to do.

For me, I was stalked once, (not from online), and that was a feeling I never want again. The news is so full of stories about online stalking, kidnapping, and other violence as a result of online information that it can be a bit creepy.  What I do have a problem with is sharing everything about myself with everyone.  Some colleges and potential employers are looking at MySpace type sites when considering admittance/hiring.  Right or wrong, who knows who will be looking at what in our future.  Also, I am not 'out' to my family, but even I was 'out', I would rather only share the fact that I may enjoy shoving something into someone's ass while another watches, with the people I choose to share that information with. 

I think it's better to be safe than sorry.   I give out personal info only as I feel comfortable with someone.  I have been happy a couple of times after getting to know more about some people I have found here, that I shared as little as possible.  Then there are others who know almost everything about me.  I like it that way.



Arpig -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 8:12:06 PM)

My name is Bob...bet that narrows the field a lot, eh?

There isn't a spot for city, just for province, so that's what I put in...I am a geek, when I fill in an online form, apparently i do not interpret at all...oh well.



Kedikat -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 8:36:49 PM)

The fact that I am actively searching for a real life partner, makes it a no brainer for me to provide as much info up front as possible and safe. It saves people wasting time, and building false hopes.



Evanesce -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 8:57:45 PM)

I have always signed my real name to my posts - for nearly a decade now - and that's really a picture of me.  And my house, if you look at my profile pics.  And somewhere in the collarme forums, I posted my FULL name, along with my city of residence, although that's not in my profile.  I've nothing to hide, and no reason to fear being outed, so I don't care who knows I'm here.



ElectraGlide -> RE: Personal Information and Pictures - Do You or Don't You (and Why or Why Not?) (6/11/2006 10:37:40 PM)

I have never had anybody tell me they saw my pictures and profile here in my everday offline life. If they did I would tell them the truth, this is a part of my past and I have a current interest. I am not a politician so I have nothing to loose being honest with who I am.



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