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Levels - 8/26/2012 4:52:51 PM

JnSnPA

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What are the different levels of sub/dom are there? Would someone be so kind as to explain the levels to us? Or point us in the right direction of a good explanation.

He has some mild exp and she has none.

Thanks in advance for any input.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 4:54:46 PM

Delilya

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There are no "levels" that I am aware of. Simply what you and yours decide on, inside your dynamic.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 4:57:20 PM

LadyHibiscus

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There aren't any.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 4:59:49 PM

JnSnPA

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I'm not referring to levels like a video game.. I meant the levels of intensity so to speak.. I've seen some post about "extreme sub/dom"

Sorry, I should have clarified more. If I'm still off base, I apoligize.. Please ignore me.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 4:59:54 PM

UllrsIshtar

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There are no levels.

Having levels would imply that there is a unified consensus in the community regarding the meaning of certain labels.
There is no such consensus. There is just a bunch of people who define things in different ways, depending on their own personal outlooks, expectations, and relationships.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 8/26/2012 5:01:36 PM >

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:00:26 PM

JeffBC

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I'll answer that question as soon as you tell me what the "levels" of marriage are.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:01:07 PM

LadyHibiscus

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'Extreme' and 'mild' are subjective words.

There are no levels, other than what your own experiences dictate to you.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:01:13 PM

LadyPact

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Levels? I'm not really sure what you mean by that. However, here is something for your education since you could use some help. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:02:55 PM

SpaceSpank

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I'm sure you will get some rather interesting replies to that.

Methinks you should rephrase it. There are not really "levels". You don't start off as a level 1 sub or what have you and "level up". You are what you are. You are what you are and over the course of your life as you experience new things you may or may not change/adjust your role. IE: Some subs may eventually find they are slaves others may find they are switches.

Now, if you're asking about "types" it is a bit different. There are many variations that subs and Dom's may classify themselves in according to their style and interests. Daddy Dom's, pain sluts, etc. There's almost no end to how far you can subdivide any particular group if you're looking to do so.

Learn how to do things safely, expand your interests as you go along.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:08:07 PM

JnSnPA

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I apologize, types is the wording I meant

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:09:01 PM

Karmastic

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FR-

OP, please read all the answers before me.

my take - sexuality is like a bell curve...and BDSM and kink is on the tail end of that. within a very small portion of that tail end, there's a bunch more much smaller bell curves that entail even smaller granularity and spectrum of differences.

edit: ooops, i didn't see that tiny square out there (outlier) - must be Freudian slip, and that's me ;)

< Message edited by Karmastic -- 8/26/2012 5:13:09 PM >

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:12:21 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JnSnPA

I apologize, types is the wording I meant

Because we're discussing social self-indentifying definitions humans use communicative purposes, that list is prohibitory extensive to list off here.

It would be akin to asking us to list all music genres and sub-genres.

What's much easier to do is for you to tell us the top 10 titles of the songs your like (or BDSM activities you enjoy in this case) and for us to tell us which genre (or type of kink activity) this style falls under.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:31:46 PM

crazyml

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Hey there!

Welcome to this side of CM!

There are a bazillion.

At the highest level you'd say people were "Kinky" or "Not"

At the next level down you can take the acronym BDSM to try to classify some broad (veeeeeery broad) types..

Bondage,
Domination
Submission, Sadism
Masochism

Then you have the kinks list on the other side - which allows you to classify what people are into... But obviously people can be "into" all of those things, some of them, or none of them and still be kinky (If you worked out the combinations you could derive from just the kinks list on this site you'd looking at billions and billions.

The most important thing is - what's Your type, and what's your Partners type...

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 5:45:05 PM

BambiBoi

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I can see how a newcomer might see dominance in terms of levels. Especially since the vanilla world sees BDSM as different depths of depravity, oddity, and pain. The more like a vanilla relationship, the "lower" level and the closer you get to rubber Gorean TPE sado-masichism, the "higher."

Thankfully BDSM is not so neatly organized. Once you get basic concepts like RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) and SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) down, it's a matter of pick and choose what make you happy. Firstly, don't shy away from learning, even when it makes you look and feel stupid. Especially when it makes you look and feel stupid. It's clear you both are willing to get out there and have a little fun. I say that because of your outgoing pictures. Cute lil butt, by the way.

Find your local much (there's one in every major city) and go say hello. As a young novice couple, any group worth its salt would be eager to have you join for tea, crumpets, and vanilla-esque getting to know each other. They will be able to help you find places to play, demos to watch, classes to take. Please feel welcome to the boards, and don't worry about being new. The only time you sound stupid is if you try to act like you're an expert but really aren't.

Don't feel the need to marry any roles or kinks too soon. Don't worry if you don't like something. The first order of business is as follows:

1) Choose a safeword for each other. Most like "red." This is for when play gets too intense, or something is wrong. Doesn't mean the night is ruined or the marriage is over, just a way of aying play got too real. Like when one puppy yelps and then all the tackle-nibbling stops for a second.
2) Locate a munch group or a next generation group in your area. (Often called a TNG group). Send an email saying that you're new and you're interested. The rest takes care of itself.
3) Bite each other. Bambi said so.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 6:05:16 PM

JnSnPA

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Thank you for the positive comments. I apologize again for not making my question clearer from the beginning, but a couple of you caught on to what I was getting at and helped clarify my question and answered as well. Thank you again for the input and sorry for the newb-ness lol

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 6:08:40 PM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JnSnPA

Thank you for the positive comments. I apologize again for not making my question clearer from the beginning, but a couple of you caught on to what I was getting at and helped clarify my question and answered as well. Thank you again for the input and sorry for the newb-ness lol

Hey... no need to apologise for newb-ness!

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 6:14:10 PM

BambiBoi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: JnSnPA

Thank you for the positive comments. I apologize again for not making my question clearer from the beginning, but a couple of you caught on to what I was getting at and helped clarify my question and answered as well. Thank you again for the input and sorry for the newb-ness lol

Hey... no need to apologise for newb-ness!

Agreed. Keep that up and I'll have each of you spank the other.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 7:09:14 PM

kalikshama

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 7:42:00 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JnSnPA

What are the different levels of sub/dom are there? Would someone be so kind as to explain the levels to us? Or point us in the right direction of a good explanation.

He has some mild exp and she has none.

Thanks in advance for any input.

While the common sense approach of "choose whatever works to make you guys happy" is absolutely correct, you will find many "sources," both in cyber BDSM and in the real world sometimes too, who will tell you that there are, indeed, different levels. An evolution, if you will, that someone starts out as a submissive and eventually becomes a true slave. Sometimes this evolution is codified into many different stages.

Even if it's not too official, you will eventually run into a social dynamic where sub women are competing for who can be "subblier than thou," or who is the better slave for taking more pain when bottoming. Just like real life, where people try to keep up with the Joneses, or brag about how their kids are the best, there are similar (bullshit) hierarchies often in BDSM.

Similar issues with masters/doms. I'm just using subs as a running example, not because they're the only ones who do this.

So please remember what people are telling you here on this thread. Eventually, you will encounter people who think we are completely wrong -- or, worse, who will say we are right, but will behave in a socially competitive manner.

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RE: Levels - 8/26/2012 8:06:52 PM

Karmastic

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quote:

there are similar (bullshit) hierarchies often in BDSM.

i didnt wanna go there, but i agree.

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