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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/12/2012 11:33:49 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		If you like that one you should read the resurrected Queen.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/12/2012 11:35:22 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFhM1XZsh6o

please substitute resurrected for mississipi, I am to lazy to do so.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/12/2012 12:17:08 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

What do you list as your occupation?  I list mine as capitalist.


I list mine as Licensed Nurse.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/12/2012 12:51:39 PM   
Nelee


Posts: 205
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So, was a famous "FinDomme" in the Los Angeles area:

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/GoddessMine


Oh god, my sides. Thank you for this link.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/12/2012 7:26:49 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I do think this is one of the best fin Domme threads. It is educational to close minded people. Whether they chose to pay attention to it, is something different all together.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/12/2012 7:32:48 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		FRing it...

To ask me if I think financial domination is a legitimate form of D/s is asking me to pass judgment on someone else's kink, which I just dont do. Ill be honest, I dont get it. But just because I dont get it doesnt mean that its not legitimate to someone else.

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 246
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/13/2012 11:19:07 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		This.^^
I think that is what is great about this lifestyle, it is an ALTERNATIVE lifestyle. To Me that means, exploring what I like, what makes Me and My partner(s) happy. I may not agree with any of the girls kinks, but they would never know. Just not My place to pass judgement. Even with close minded folk who think fin/pro Dommes are prostitutes, it's their choice. I can educate them with what the facts are, but if they choose to stay blind, then hey...who am I to them?

_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/15/2012 7:01:06 PM   
wh0re


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		I stopped reading the OP statement after the first few sentences. I am not sure if somebody actually made You write this but what i read is just silly :) There is no term like ProDomme or ProMistress or whatever (at one hand) as BDSM is not a profession but a lifestyle in general. The so called Pro..whatever are no different than prostitues - they are "working" something which is not supposed in general to be a work but pleasure - for both sides. The fact that some ladies are taking advantage of the ratio between dominant women and submissive men to try and get rich fast, without having to work do not make them legit ... not the least. Yes I agree in the bussiness world there is a tight connection between supply and demand but BDSM is in no way bussiness or at least in my oppinion the core BDSM is not. And although I can somehow justify the Domme using the subs money when they are in D/s relation (and I mean a real long term relation) the crap called tribute is just pathetic.
The site should be for people actively seeking a real D/s relationship and not promoting the services of "Domme" prostitues in any form. A session is not BDSM - it's just like renting a prostitute to fulfil Your desires. It is not a relationship and definetelly it's not BDSM.
And let's be honest 99% of the female Domme profiles contain the words like financial, money, tribute, gift, amazon, spoil ... are they really looking for a genuine submissive and a D/s relationship or are there into it just for the money? Rhetorical question. And worse 90% of them don't even have a clue about BDSM in general. They just have been told or read somewhere that they can make easy money if they do or write this and that and then decided to give it a go? How about the profiles from Phillipines? I am yet to find a Domme from there that has any clue about BDSM and looking for a genuine relationship. Okay most of us know that Philipinos are poor (I used to be married to a Pinaya, been there, seen it all and know what I am talking about) but does this justify them pretending to be something they are not just to raise some cash?
All in all - yes I agree the man should be a man, even he is a sub/slave and take care of the income in a household but then again that happens when there is already a relationship going on and both parties decided they want to be mutual partners. For me somebody asking me for money (in any form) just to talk to me is either too full of himself/herself (mostly herself) or plain stupid.
But actually it's not only the female's fault. If they keep on staying in this site (although most profiles whining about fakes which for me is quite ironic) and multiplying it means there are actually people stupid enough to give somebody money, just to receive a fraction of their attention.
And so that my words are sound and solid I will share an insight:
As a genuine sub who has enough experience both online and RT I believe I do understand the subs point of view - we derive pleasure from pleasing OUR Mistress, from the approvel in Her eyes, from the smile and satisfaction on Her face, because we actually DO care about Her and Her pleasure. It takes quite a time to develop any relationship and this goes especially for the D/s one as there are limits to be set, adjustments to be made and this is a long and ongoing process. So let's say I am doing a session and paying somebody to act like a Mistress for me - where is my satisfaction from the smile or the pleasure or the fake approval (after all I've paid for it). How can I feel I am Her sub if She sees tons of subs everyday and acts the same for them. How am I to care about a total stranger which i never met before and will probably never meet? Where is the relationship (how do we relate to each other)?
So in final words - I am not content with my relation (in case I am a vanilla) and I go pay an escort to satisfy my needs ... I am not able to find a genuine Domme with whom I can explore the vast world of BDSM and I go pay a BDSM escort to satisfy my needs ... difference? Hardly! So there is no need for the so called ProDommes, FinDommes or any kind of "dommes" that are here trying to raise their income, to be offended when they are called prostitues or fakes because they are both.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/15/2012 8:16:07 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		So then... everyone who does not share your viewpoint is simply too stupid to understand the truth? Everyone who does not share your kinks is twisted and/or wrong somehow? Man, I know some vanilla discussion boards you'd fit right in at.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/15/2012 8:33:45 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		Deleted.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 12/15/2012 8:38:41 PM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/15/2012 8:37:55 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
As a genuine sub who has enough experience both online and RT I believe I do understand the subs point of view


Well thank you for explaining things to the rest of us morons who don't share your incredible level of experience and intellect. Your insight is awe inspiring.

BTW, it's unfair to call an entire group of human beings "whores" and "prostitutes". We have many pro Dommes and financial Dommes on these boards who are great people and valuable contributors. I take offense when you call them names. You have no justification for doing so.

If there are elements of financial domination that you dislike or disagree with, that's fair. Tell us what elements you dislike, and explain why. The fosters intelligent dialogue. But calling people prostitutes is unproductive.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/15/2012 10:00:09 PM   
wh0re


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah I was kinda prepared for the sarcastic remarks and obviously people do think when they insert irony or sarcasm in their post it will make them look oh so much better ....

@JeffBC: Stating my point and explaining my view doesn't neccessary mean it is the only view and of course I wouldn't expect You to understand any of a subs point of view, since you are a Dom. And I wouldn't call you stupid for "not understanding the truth" but if you state the post is about my kinks, you either are stupid or lack somewhere in the reading comprehension (and again just to be sure I am understood right, I am not calling you stupid, I am simply not ruling it out). Enough said ... as for the vanilla board, you can keep it to yourself ... probably it's just as fake as the "dommes" you are trying hard to ... erm ... "protect"?

@Rochsub2009: Although generally I didn't like the beggining of your post (with all that oh see now how intelligent am I and how am I gonna use my sarcasm to shut this dude up) the rest made me take my time and answer since you are accusing me of something I haven't done and this is not a nice thing. First I don't recall calling anybody "whore" (except myself but well i think I have the right to call me names). Second prostitute is not calling a name but mentioning a profession (though in many countries illegal it still IS a profession) as is prodoming, femdoming whatever they may call it. Professions - that's all no diferent in their integrity. It is so cute to see somebody take offense on behalf of somebody else ... so moving and justification I gave plenty. What bothers me is you are taking offense, acusing me of calling names, telling me i have no justification, doubting my experience and intelligence and yet nowhere have I seen you posting anything to back your claims ... that's not goood. Oh and i didn't mention anything about anybody's contributions in here, cause i think it's kind of irrelevant to the topic discussed.
And after all I wrote you are asking me to explain myself ... that kind of insult me, you know. Spending time explaining and expressing and then someone comes and tells you to "please explain yourself" ... anyways

On the side note most of the prodommes and findommes and all that financial domination wannabes are violating the TOS, which clearly states "You may not use the Website to advertise products or services, nor may You use the Website in order to solicit products or services" but i guess it's confortable for somebody to cast a blind eye.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/16/2012 6:19:33 AM   
Inghammar


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/25/2012
Status: offline

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/16/2012 6:56:32 AM   
plesto


Posts: 49
Joined: 7/2/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re

I stopped reading the OP statement after the first few sentences. I am not sure if somebody actually made You write this but what i read is just silly :) There is no term like ProDomme or ProMistress or whatever (at one hand) as BDSM is not a profession but a lifestyle in general. The so called Pro..whatever are no different than prostitues - they are "working" something which is not supposed in general to be a work but pleasure - for both sides. The fact that some ladies are taking advantage of the ratio between dominant women and submissive men to try and get rich fast, without having to work do not make them legit ... not the least. Yes I agree in the bussiness world there is a tight connection between supply and demand but BDSM is in no way bussiness or at least in my oppinion the core BDSM is not. And although I can somehow justify the Domme using the subs money when they are in D/s relation (and I mean a real long term relation) the crap called tribute is just pathetic.


There will always be those that take advantage, but if there is no demand, the supply will quickly disappear. As there is clearly a demand from from some men for the tribute sort of thing, then the supply will remain. Calling it pathetic is no different than me branding something you enjoy pathetic simply because I do not agree with it.

Healthcare isn't business at the end of the day, well the core of it isn't. Yet in most countries large elements of it will be business based.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
The site should be for people actively seeking a real D/s relationship and not promoting the services of "Domme" prostitues in any form.


It is up to the site owners to enforce the rules and decide that. Seeing as these profiles are allowed at the moment it is not your place to decide what this site is for.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
A session is not BDSM - it's just like renting a prostitute to fulfil Your desires. It is not a relationship and definetelly it's not BDSM.


You also sound incredibly ignorant with this part. It sounds like you are trying to say there is only one true way. What about casual play partners, or fuck buddies for a more vanilla theme. All they are doing is fulfilling each others desires. The only difference is they do it without exchanging cash upfront, however to get to that point somewhere beforehand time and probably some cash will have been spent.

Also with this statement you fail to even grasp the other reasons people hire an escort or go see a Pro domme.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
How about the profiles from Phillipines? I am yet to find a Domme from there that has any clue about BDSM and looking for a genuine relationship. Okay most of us know that Philipinos are poor (I used to be married to a Pinaya, been there, seen it all and know what I am talking about) but does this justify them pretending to be something they are not just to raise some cash?


So every Domme profile from the Philippines is automatically a fake scammer to get your money simply because you have yet to find someone genuine from there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
All in all - yes I agree the man should be a man, even he is a sub/slave and take care of the income in a household but then again that happens when there is already a relationship going on and both parties decided they want to be mutual partners. For me somebody asking me for money (in any form) just to talk to me is either too full of himself/herself (mostly herself) or plain stupid.


So counsellors, psychotherapists, lawyers etc much all be full of themselves and plain stupid. As lets face it, they typically charge for you to talk to them. You get what you pay for, if someone wants to pay someone just to talk to them, that is up to them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
As a genuine sub who has enough experience both online and RT I believe I do understand the subs point of view - we derive pleasure from pleasing OUR Mistress, from the approvel in Her eyes, from the smile and satisfaction on Her face, because we actually DO care about Her and Her pleasure. It takes quite a time to develop any relationship and this goes especially for the D/s one as there are limits to be set, adjustments to be made and this is a long and ongoing process.


That is your point of view as a sub, although it is probably one many others would also share or a similar theme.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
So let's say I am doing a session and paying somebody to act like a Mistress for me - where is my satisfaction from the smile or the pleasure or the fake approval (after all I've paid for it). How can I feel I am Her sub if She sees tons of subs everyday and acts the same for them. How am I to care about a total stranger which i never met before and will probably never meet? Where is the relationship (how do we relate to each other)?


Your assuming they see tons of subs everyday, which is something you may find at the lower end of the scale, but as you go up, it is likely to become slightly different. You will have to do some reading on the subject of pro Dommes and the type of relationships they have with long term clients to get an idea.

You are bringing the care factor into the second part, you assume that is what all these men who like these findommes are looking for. Just because they are not for you it doesn't mean they are not for someone else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
So in final words - I am not content with my relation (in case I am a vanilla) and I go pay an escort to satisfy my needs ... I am not able to find a genuine Domme with whom I can explore the vast world of BDSM and I go pay a BDSM escort to satisfy my needs ... difference? Hardly!


Well in the first instance you are cheating, so there is a large difference right there. Also, there are more reasons to see an escort other than to just satisfy your needs.

Also a BDSM escort will typically just be acting, a lot of Pro dommes are also lifestyle dommes with their own subs who do not pay to play/explore.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
So there is no need for the so called ProDommes, FinDommes or any kind of "dommes" that are here trying to raise their income, to be offended when they are called prostitues or fakes because they are both.


There is no need simply because you say so. You have failed to give a real reason and simply provided an opinion that suggests lack of understanding. Calling Pro dommes fakes on here is simply ridiculous, I am sure the lifestyle ones will be quite confused by your warped logic.

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Profile   Post #: 254
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/16/2012 6:59:33 AM   
sweeteass


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/30/2009
Status: offline 		Banging someone's head against a wall is a certain type of "legitimate" form of expression. But it isn't quite ethical. There really is no difference if you take your money for sexual services on the street or in a motel room, or here on the internet or in some other third party place. What is the definition of a whore in the dictionary.

A greater problem, is that most of these expressions of findomme-ness are, at the bottom, fake. Women and young girls are here to cheat and finagle subs...to steal their money. The poor guys will not even get the goods, as advertised on the shelf.
The problem of findommes taking over the every bdsm site is large and growing. At present at least 95% of the female profiles are here for the ill gotten $buck. No girls you didn't earn it, you didn't work for it. You are playing to the slave's vulnerabilities, and that is why we have laws that prohibit a person's ability to con others out of their money...because they, society, are vulnerable.

(in reply to plesto)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/16/2012 11:33:26 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I stopped reading the OP statement after the first few sentences.

Yes, that's obvious.

quote:

The so called Pro..whatever are no different than prostitues - they are "working" something which is not supposed in general to be a work but pleasure - for both sides.

How is prostitution defined in Yerevan, Armenia, Bulgaria? Please provide a link.

Here are the laws in my state: http://prostitution.procon.org/view.background-resource.php?resourceID=742

Chapter 272: Section 53A: Engaging in sexual conduct for a fee; penalty
Any person who engages, agrees to engage, or offers to engage in sexual conduct with another person in return for a fee, or any person who pays, agrees to pay or offers to pay another person to engage in sexual conduct, or to agree to engage in sexual conduct with another natural person may be punished by imprisonment in a jail or house of correction for not more than one year, or by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars, or by both such fine and imprisonment.

My state does not define sexual conduct but Arizona does: sexual intercourse or oral sexual contact, which is how I would define it as well for the purposes of a prostitution statute.

I have no problem with either prostitution (which I think should be legal) or financial domination, but I think it is silly to equate the two.

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(in reply to wh0re)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/16/2012 11:36:40 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		This guy can NOT be serious. How do you write something that long without even completely reading the Roch's post, which let Me know right away that he didn't read the rest of the thread, where there is some valuable knowledge to be learned.

But this is what I am talking about when I say close minded people who refuse to WANT to learn anything different from what they think they already know.

ETA: Jeff thanks for your "protection", I feel all fuzzy. According to wh0re, that must be what you are here for.



< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 12/16/2012 12:00:29 PM >

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 257
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/16/2012 11:41:20 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		OK wh0re, I'll bite. Can you try again to explain to me what it is about findommes that makes you so nuts? Here's the bits I got out of your post.

They are prostitutes
You know what? They are in my mind too... not in the legal sense of course but as a general conceptual grouping I see it as the exchange of sex (or sexuality) for money. But so what? I would have assumed that the vast majority of folks posting on a site such as collarme were sex positive. Why does it matter if they are prostitutes? Do you find that morally objectionable somehow? Your reasoning there must tie into your huge objection to tributes also. It's something about "money" isn't it?

They are not looking for genuine submissives
Again, I totally agree with you with one caveat. They are not looking for genuine submissives as I would define the term. But you know what? My definition of what is "genuine submission" is really only relevant to me and mine. I could say the same thing for my own situation. The vast majority of slaves on this site are not "genuine slaves" (per my definitions) and they are not looking for "genuine dominance" (per my definitions). But so what? I'm 49 years old. It's not exactly a news flash that other people are seeking partners who are different than me for reasons different than my own. There are literally bajillions of "sex slaves" over on the other side. From the standpoint of a guy more looking to own property you can imagine how "fake" that could potentially look to me. But I don't see them that way. I see them as "different" rather than "fake". My brain is smart enough to realize there are subcategories under that word "slave" and a casual perusal of the profile usually tells me quite clearly what the proper category is. How is my situation with "slaves" any different than your situation with "dommes"?

So I ask in all seriousness... why do you seem to care so much about this? Why the anger and venom? Why isn't it live & let live? In what way have these "prostitutes" negatively affected your life?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to wh0re)
Profile   Post #: 258
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/16/2012 11:48:15 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweeteass

and that is why we have laws that prohibit a person's ability to con others out of their money...because they, society, are vulnerable.


Personally, imo....do away with the laws and the bans that do not allow financial domination. It weeds out the idiots from everyone else. I'm sorry but if by the age of 25 and you can't see what's in front of your eyes and you're that desperate for a little nookie or play, then it's your own fault. Live and learn.




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Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 259
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/17/2012 1:42:13 AM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline 		I completely agree that for some finDommes it's basically prostitution, although I only use that word for lack of a better one. (I have no qualms with prostitutes whatsoever. Live and let live.) What I mean by that is strictly for the Dommes that exchange some sort of sex with their kink and receive money for it. The ones that 'reward' tributes with videos, pictures, panties, webcam sessions that involve some sort of masturbation, etc. Let the record show that not every finDomme operates this way, even though the vast majority appears to from an outsiders standpoint.

I'm a lifestyle Domme. I have one real-time, live-in slave. Our relationship is not even remotely about money, even though I control our personal finances. I'm also a finDomme. I have one online-only submissive. He sought me out not because he was looking for a prostitute, but because he didn't have the ability to hold a D/s relationship in real-time. Because I'm a finDomme it doesn't make our relationship any less real, it just makes it different.

wh0re, your opinion of 'my kink is okay, but yours isn't' is the only thing that's wrong with the world of BDSM. In a world where people get tied up, suspended from the ceilings, play with knives, locked up in chastity devices, whipped, flogged, play with fire, play with electrical devices and so much more on a daily basis, I find it silly that there are still so many people that get genuinely butthurt about finDommes.

Block them, hide their profiles and go on about your day. It's really so simple.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 260
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