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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 11:27:13 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
maybe i will just wait for a real BDSM site to show up in the internet space

You create the site you want using the Favorite, Hide and Block buttons. I have hundreds of female profiles on Hide. There have been days I've logged in, hidden ten profiles, and logged out. Very quickly, your search will only include women in the general categories you are looking for.

I haven't followed this whole discussion, but the posts of yours that I have read give me the impression that you are intentionally helpless. Women tend to find "can do" more attractive than "can't do." This might be even more important for a dominant woman looking for a servant. Who wants to cut an order, only to hear why it can't be done? Much better to say, "I think the exact thing you're asking for might be impossible, but I could do this and this instead, which is pretty close. Would that please you?"

Take the same approach with dating, and you'll do fine.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to wh0re)
Profile   Post #: 281
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 11:27:54 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re
When I say what I need/have to say, what is written in my profile is close to irrelevant.


Hmmm. When I write to someone whether initiated or replying, I always read the profile to see what they say about themselves.

Any ladies reading this thread who want to comment whether they do this or not? Is it valid that a message makes a profile irrelevant?

When I read a message, I always go to read the sender's profile. If he doesn't have one, or if it contains nothing but a kink list, I rarely respond to the message.


Here's another vote for the guy's profile being VERY relevant.


_____________________________

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(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 282
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 11:34:39 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

You create the site you want using the Favorite, Hide and Block buttons. I have hundreds of female profiles on Hide. There have been days I've logged in, hidden ten profiles, and logged out. Very quickly, your search will only include women in the general categories you are looking for.



Exactly!!!! I do the same thing. This morning, there were 3 new profiles for 19 year old findoms when I logged on. I quickly hit the "hide" button, and now I'll never see those profiles again. Nothing could be easier.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 283
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 12:01:37 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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Wh0re: (although he has probably taken his ball and gone home)
I use the hide feature all the time as well. It helps weed out ppl you don't want to see. So if your hated from findommes is that bad, just take a few seconds to click a button when you see them.



_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 284
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 12:12:49 PM   
DonRosti


Posts: 28
Joined: 12/14/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Wh0re: (although he has probably taken his ball and gone home)
I use the hide feature all the time as well. It helps weed out ppl you don't want to see. So if your hated from findommes is that bad, just take a few seconds to click a button when you see them.





(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 285
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 12:14:48 PM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Financial domination IS a legitimate form of kink/BDSM.

Only if you get it when you pay for it.


_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 286
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 12:35:44 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re

I began writing a reply, but then I though ... it's worthless ... clearly there are quite some Masters of twisting the words. Well good a take my oppinion and just go away with it so I don't bother your tight closed society. Actually I will also have a second thought about the site as well - maybe i will just wait for a real BDSM site to show up in the internet space - one that is for people actually interested in BDSM, rather than classifieds for femdom escorts. All the best people, at least I found out why are there so many femdom prostitutes in here - they get such a support even on the boards, where most of them hardly ever set foot, because they don't want to waste time scaming people for money via their vulnarabilities. Keep up the good job on supporting them, maybe one day you'll get your share from their earnings


Hey. Stop and think for a minute.

We're speaking to you. We're taking into account what you're saying. And we're responding to you. YOU are the one ignoring US.

You're from an Eastern European country. And you're fluent in English. You're obviously well educated. But you have some unaccountable fear of changing your approach to something that works.

You've been on this site for over four years, with bad results. You come here, and your posts make it clear that you think there's something wrong with the site. Even when others claim they've had success.

You claim we're twisting your words - we're not. You claim that the pros stay here because we're protecting them. Nope - they're staying here because people fall for them. If the site tried to stomp out the pros, they'd just make new profiles and return if there was money in it.

You told us that your profile does not matter. We've told you it does. And you decided to leave the site rather than fix it. And wait for another site that will somehow result in you having better luck, even with a lousy profile. Somehow the site that does not yet exist will be different and you'll have success there.

Hic Rhoda, hic salta.

Just quit whining, do what you need to do, and change your profile. Do what it takes to succeed.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to wh0re)
Profile   Post #: 287
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 12:42:29 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Financial domination IS a legitimate form of kink/BDSM.

Only if you get it when you pay for it.


This is true as well. I do understand the high volume of scammers out there pulling the "send me money then we will do x,y,z"..then disappearing. These people should be shot on site.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 12/19/2012 12:43:08 PM >


_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Moonhead)
Profile   Post #: 288
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 12:48:59 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re

I began writing a reply, but then I though ... it's worthless ... clearly there are quite some Masters of twisting the words. Well good a take my oppinion and just go away with it so I don't bother your tight closed society. Actually I will also have a second thought about the site as well - maybe i will just wait for a real BDSM site to show up in the internet space - one that is for people actually interested in BDSM, rather than classifieds for femdom escorts. All the best people, at least I found out why are there so many femdom prostitutes in here - they get such a support even on the boards, where most of them hardly ever set foot, because they don't want to waste time scaming people for money via their vulnarabilities. Keep up the good job on supporting them, maybe one day you'll get your share from their earnings


Hey. Stop and think for a minute.

We're speaking to you. We're taking into account what you're saying. And we're responding to you. YOU are the one ignoring US.

You're from an Eastern European country. And you're fluent in English. You're obviously well educated. But you have some unaccountable fear of changing your approach to something that works.

You've been on this site for over four years, with bad results. You come here, and your posts make it clear that you think there's something wrong with the site. Even when others claim they've had success.

You claim we're twisting your words - we're not. You claim that the pros stay here because we're protecting them. Nope - they're staying here because people fall for them. If the site tried to stomp out the pros, they'd just make new profiles and return if there was money in it.

You told us that your profile does not matter. We've told you it does. And you decided to leave the site rather than fix it. And wait for another site that will somehow result in you having better luck, even with a lousy profile. Somehow the site that does not yet exist will be different and you'll have success there.

Hic Rhoda, hic salta.

Just quit whining, do what you need to do, and change your profile. Do what it takes to succeed.

Steven, I think he left us. He keeps viewing My profile, so I wrote and told him he was missing some great answers on the forums. I do hope he comes back. Even though I have a feeling that his mind is already made up. Oh well, can't educate everyone!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 289
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 12:54:06 PM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Financial domination IS a legitimate form of kink/BDSM.

Only if you get it when you pay for it.


This is true as well. I do understand the high volume of scammers out there pulling the "send me money then we will do x,y,z"..then disappearing. These people should be shot on site.

It was a joke, not a diss. (Well, supposed to be, anyway.)

_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 290
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 12:56:50 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
Oh no no, I took it as a joke. I totally understood. :)
I didn't take it that you meant it in a bad way.


< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 12/19/2012 12:58:37 PM >


_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Moonhead)
Profile   Post #: 291
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 1:03:28 PM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline
No worries, then.

_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 292
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 1:13:40 PM   
MistressZaraUK


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline
Why in hell's name do pro dommes keep getting lumped into the same pigeon hole as fin dommes on this site ? We are completely different animals !

A Pro Domme = Someone who meets people in real life and provides a genuine service. They supply their time, equipment, facilities and expertise to those in the BDSM community who may for many reasons not be able access what they want through clubs, munches etc... Yes, they do charge for this service, but so does a restaurant for supplying you with a meal or a mechanic for fixing your car, funny but I don't see any subs complaining about these service providers, Pro Dommes are no different, they simply provide a service where there is a demand.

A fin domme = Just about anyone who has the intelligence to create a fake profile and scam vulnerable people out of their money with no commitment to ever meet up in real life.

The two are simply light years apart, yet every other sub who complains about fin dommes seem to end up painting Pro Dommes with the same very badly aimed brush.

Zara

(in reply to VioletViolence)
Profile   Post #: 293
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 1:39:53 PM   
dreamysubmale


Posts: 204
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline
If they had the smarts to differentiate between the two, they wouldn't be here bitching about either of them.

_____________________________

Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses... Democritus

(in reply to MistressZaraUK)
Profile   Post #: 294
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 2:35:15 PM   
wh0re


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
"Curiosity killed the cat" the oh so famous quote ... I guess I just couldn't stand it and I came to check what was actually going on. Although probably for most I seem arrogant and not having a clue, actually I am none of the above. I do, anyway, believe in what I wrote and tried to express clearly enough why, in fact, I believe in it. Having read enough I thought it's time for some "myth buting" but not before I express my astonishment at how people comment my "collarme life", "my knowledge and experience" and my personality without even being close to knowing me. Without further ado ...

"THE MYTH BUSTING"
1. "Being unsuccessful in Domme comunication and not having Dommes pay any attention to me and even ignoring my profile" - Sorry to disappoint you but all the Dommes I've been with, I found them on internet ... well not on this site, but on similar sites and even in here I've found overtime Dommes with whom although things never came to a meeting, I was having a nice communication and even some online fun.
2. "I am looking for someone to blame for my so called lack of success with the Dommes in this site and I see in findommes and prodommes a suitable victim" - Sorry to disappoint you again, but if I was looking for something that I can put the blame on, it would have been my location and the fact I cannot freely comute to anywhere I wish.
3. "I need for someone to educate me" - well as arrogant it may seem I do have enough knowledge and experience about BDSM in general and although I may have not dwelved in all ot if's aspect I have learnt enough on the points that were interesting to me.
4. "I need someone to teach me how to make the perfect profile" - well believe it or not, this is not the only site I've been registerd and I have created quite a few profiles and have monitored the difference (or the lack of it) with every change, so when I say my profile is the last thing I need to worry about, then probably I have some insight and am not just talking jibberish.

I may remeber something else I wanted to point out, but for now I guess it will be enough.

On the side note, thanks for the nice reply from StevenDark and want to clarify that i was checking TNDommeK's profile, just because it showed up in my "Viewed Your profile" list and far from "all the time"

And finally cant miss the opportunity given to me by MistressZaraUK, quoting "Yes, they do charge for this service, but so does a restaurant for supplying you with a meal or a mechanic for fixing your car" and adding ".... and the prostitute who takes care of your sexual needs" ... so why offended? ;) Nuff said

(in reply to MistressZaraUK)
Profile   Post #: 295
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 4:46:39 PM   
MistressZaraUK


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re

"Curiosity killed the cat" the oh so famous quote ... I guess I just couldn't stand it and I came to check what was actually going on. Although probably for most I seem arrogant and not having a clue, actually I am none of the above. I do, anyway, believe in what I wrote and tried to express clearly enough why, in fact, I believe in it. Having read enough I thought it's time for some "myth buting" but not before I express my astonishment at how people comment my "collarme life", "my knowledge and experience" and my personality without even being close to knowing me. Without further ado ...

"THE MYTH BUSTING"
1. "Being unsuccessful in Domme comunication and not having Dommes pay any attention to me and even ignoring my profile" - Sorry to disappoint you but all the Dommes I've been with, I found them on internet ... well not on this site, but on similar sites and even in here I've found overtime Dommes with whom although things never came to a meeting, I was having a nice communication and even some online fun.
2. "I am looking for someone to blame for my so called lack of success with the Dommes in this site and I see in findommes and prodommes a suitable victim" - Sorry to disappoint you again, but if I was looking for something that I can put the blame on, it would have been my location and the fact I cannot freely comute to anywhere I wish.
3. "I need for someone to educate me" - well as arrogant it may seem I do have enough knowledge and experience about BDSM in general and although I may have not dwelved in all ot if's aspect I have learnt enough on the points that were interesting to me.
4. "I need someone to teach me how to make the perfect profile" - well believe it or not, this is not the only site I've been registerd and I have created quite a few profiles and have monitored the difference (or the lack of it) with every change, so when I say my profile is the last thing I need to worry about, then probably I have some insight and am not just talking jibberish.

I may remeber something else I wanted to point out, but for now I guess it will be enough.

On the side note, thanks for the nice reply from StevenDark and want to clarify that i was checking TNDommeK's profile, just because it showed up in my "Viewed Your profile" list and far from "all the time"

And finally cant miss the opportunity given to me by MistressZaraUK, quoting "Yes, they do charge for this service, but so does a restaurant for supplying you with a meal or a mechanic for fixing your car" and adding ".... and the prostitute who takes care of your sexual needs" ... so why offended? ;) Nuff said


And yet again, you seem to show your complete ignorance of the BDSM scene in general, and the Pro Domme scene in particular Wh0re, as typified by your immature attempt to now label Pro Dommes alongside prostitutes. I know many professional mistresses both socially and professionally and NONE of them allow penetrative sex from ANY of their clients. Next time you are at a play event, or doing a 121 session with a mistress, why not mention to her that in your eyes she is no better then a prostitute, I'm pretty sure you will not like her reaction.

So you don't like professional Dommes, fine, that's your right but just be man enough to be honest about it rather then trying to dress it up with some half baked logic to justify your prejudices. If there was no demand for us out there, we simply would not exist, however the reality is that there is a huge demand and there will always be a professional element to the BDSM scene that will service that demand regardless if you like it or not.

And regardless of what you may think of us Wh0re, we do take pride in delivering a good service, making our customers happy and ensuring that they are getting value for their money. If we don't do that, we pretty quickly run out of customers.

Zara

(in reply to wh0re)
Profile   Post #: 296
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 4:57:30 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
Dude, you sound like a 5 year old who doesn't get what he wants from mommy...yells, screams, stomps his feet, crosses his arms and then is angry at mom all day. I'm going to bet every single Domme on here thinks the same.

Whiners and negative people are a complete turnoff to all people on the planet unless they're both whiners and negative people. In that case, stick around the forums. Sooner or later..more sooner, you will find a Domme who will come on here complaining exactly the way you do. I would suggest emailing her. I think you both would be a perfect match.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 297
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 4:59:27 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK
And yet again, you seem to show your complete ignorance of the BDSM scene in general, and the Pro Domme scene in particular Wh0re, as typified by your immature attempt to now label Pro Dommes alongside prostitutes. I know many professional mistresses both socially and professionally and NONE of them allow penetrative sex from ANY of their clients.

and this business of "penetrative sex" that you seem to find so important... where'd you get that? The last I checked at the legal level what is and is not prostitution is defined along some pretty squirrely boundaries jurisdiction by jurisdiction. At the more conceptual level selling sexuality is close enough for me.

In a non-legal sense I agree with him. I just don't have any particular negative connotation to the word "prostitute". So I agree with the statement "Pro Dommes are no better than prostitutes" which is a lot like saying they are no better than plumbers or school teachers. I'd say they are infinitely better than lawyers, politicians, and most salesmen though if we really need to get a hierarchy going.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to MistressZaraUK)
Profile   Post #: 298
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 5:29:49 PM   
MistressZaraUK


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK
And yet again, you seem to show your complete ignorance of the BDSM scene in general, and the Pro Domme scene in particular Wh0re, as typified by your immature attempt to now label Pro Dommes alongside prostitutes. I know many professional mistresses both socially and professionally and NONE of them allow penetrative sex from ANY of their clients.

and this business of "penetrative sex" that you seem to find so important... where'd you get that? The last I checked at the legal level what is and is not prostitution is defined along some pretty squirrely boundaries jurisdiction by jurisdiction. At the more conceptual level selling sexuality is close enough for me.

In a non-legal sense I agree with him. I just don't have any particular negative connotation to the word "prostitute". So I agree with the statement "Pro Dommes are no better than prostitutes" which is a lot like saying they are no better than plumbers or school teachers. I'd say they are infinitely better than lawyers, politicians, and most salesmen though if we really need to get a hierarchy going.


If you don't fully understand what the meaning of penetrative sex is hunni, then you really do need to get out more ;-)

But seriously, it's a fair point. If the question is 'do we sell our bodies for sex' then the answer is a resounding no. If the question is 'do we provide an erotic experience for our clients' then the answer is probably yes. Therein lies the difference.

The prejudice against Pro Dommes is pretty laughable given the amount of money I see subs spending at fet events in the vain hope that someone is actually going to take an interest in them. Next time you go to an event, keep an eye on the 'non pro' Dommes you see there, trust me, that lady will not have paid for her transport, hotel, club entrance, meals, drinks or anything else it will all have been paid for by the little sub group who are following in her wake.

We do have one outstanding virtue as pros, at least we are upfront and honest as to our cost and we give our customers what they want, not whatever takes our fancy at the time

Zara

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 299
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/19/2012 5:39:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

Next time you go to an event, keep an eye on the 'non pro' Dommes you see there, trust me, that lady will not have paid for her transport, hotel, club entrance, meals, drinks or anything else it will all have been paid for by the little sub group who are following in her wake.


This had me laughing hysterically. I don't know what universe you are living honey, but I guarantee you that's soooooo not true.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to MistressZaraUK)
Profile   Post #: 300
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