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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 1:25:31 PM   
Teroh


Posts: 35
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Man, I just learn new things every day on these boards. It's what keeps me coming back.



It's why I keep coming back, too. Today I learned that I'm a stripper, which was definitely news to me. Last week I learned that I'm a prostitute, which is odd since I don't have sex but I yam what I yam, I guess.

:)

I love these forums.



Don't take this the wrong way, but my opinion of strippers and prostitutes is greater than FinDommes

Damn I'm reading that and it sounds cold... But it's how I feel. Maybe because with the aforementioned I sense a more straightforward logical quid pro quo. Not to mention I don't have to see or hear about them frequently.

There's also nothing wrong with strip clubs, I'd actually prefer them to bars if it weren't for the creepers and over over priced drinks. Tell my buddy that just got back from tour that he's weak minded for going to the strip club after hitting the bars with us... In doing so I've got to warn you, might want to have a dentist's number ready haha


< Message edited by Teroh -- 12/26/2012 1:30:58 PM >

(in reply to AllisonWilder)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 1:31:55 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Teroh



Don't take this the wrong way, but my opinion of strippers and prostitutes is greater than FinDommes

Damn I'm reading that and it sounds cold... But it's how I feel. Maybe because with the aforementioned I since a more straightforward logical quid pro quo. Not to mention I don't have to see or hear about them frequently.


I won't take that the wrong way because the word 'finDomme' doesn't define all that I am (and honestly, it really isn't offensive). It's just a label, after all.

(in reply to Teroh)
Profile   Post #: 402
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 1:33:26 PM   
BreakTrainUse


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/15/2011
Status: offline
hmmm

< Message edited by BreakTrainUse -- 12/26/2012 1:34:22 PM >

(in reply to stef)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 1:38:40 PM   
FinDommeXtina


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2012
From: USA
Status: offline 		It's the ultimate label to avoid all confusion. Many slaves/submissives contact me in regards to Serving Me but I only accept ones who will often purchase from my wishlist or send trinkets or token gifts. It weeds out the ones that I choose to not waste my time on. I am very involved IRL and to sort through 100s of messages per week from regular submissives just looking to get their rocks off is tiresome. As I label myself a FinDom, there is a certain crowd I am trying to appeal to. There are many types of FinDoms out there, and like Allison I too agree that FinDom is not all I am wrapped up to be. A box inside a box inside another box of perversion and kink. Ultimately my FinDom label is a red flag for people who don't want to appreciate my time in a way other than "Thank you". If that was the case, I would need several clones to keep up with these men. FinDoms usually deal in complex kinks that SHOULD be compensated for as they are very physically and emotionally involving. Just my 2 cents.

An object is only an object until you give it meaning. Whether it's balloons, bubbles, floggers, rope or crispy money bills. When someone debates the legitimacy of any kink in ANY world including BDSM s/he begin to sound awfully arrogant.

< Message edited by FinDommeXtina -- 12/26/2012 1:43:28 PM >

(in reply to AllisonWilder)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 1:42:52 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakTrainUse



quote:

ORIGINAL: stef



ORIGINAL: SadisticPredator

Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s?

No.


Thank god you came along to clear that up.




Glad I could help. You need any help with which way is up, or how to open a can of soup, now that I'm here to clear up completely obvious facts for you?


quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakTrainUse

hmmm



Don't ya hate it when ya post under another sock account. At least ya was able to edit it huh?

Luckily for you, I was able to save it thanks to the back key.


< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 12/26/2012 1:53:13 PM >

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to BreakTrainUse)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 1:58:48 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		I wanted to be sure you didn't accuse me of making up what you had said.




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 2:12:42 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Oh, and where are the finsubs?

Can only speak for Chael: he's not on any discussion sites about BDSM... or anything else. Heck, when he (rarely) plays WoW he only solos; he doesn't like grouping or raiding as he isn't interested in talking and playing with strangers on the internet. He has a profile on Fetlife - because *I* made it and run it so that I can RSVP both of us to events that require a Fetlife profile. I've tried to get him interested, but it simply isn't something he cares for.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 407
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 2:14:17 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
Did you empty your wallet Jeff or did you just go for entertainment?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I spent within my means. At the time I had more money than sexuality in my life so I "hired" the strippers to give me some fodder. Sometimes one would get a $100 tip for smiling at me. Other times I grudgingly paid a few bucks here and there because I saw it as "a part of the deal" of entering such a place. In any event, it was always me in charge of the situation. Honestly, given my personality, it'd be a good thing if I was led around by my dick more than I am.

quote:

If you didn't empty it, the strippers were disappointed but you're not that weak minded wealthy one that they were really looking for.

How many strippers have you actually known on an intimate (interpersonal not sexual -- friends) basis? I would say that for some of them this characterization applies. For others... not so much. I can tell you that apparently a fair number weren't all THAT disappointed in me. Do they all secretly dream of some rich guy parachuting in and changing their life circumstances dramatically? Probably from time to time yes. So do I. Would all of them use a man's wallet beyond his means if they knew that was happening. No. I've had some turn down (or at least try to before I explained I could really afford it) the more generous tips.

My point remains. I do not believe all findommes are heartless users of people nor do I believe that all financial subs are weak-minded. Were I inclined to desire the services offered (or, to put that differently, the sort of relationship offered) I could easily see myself thinking a few bucks on an amazon wishlist was a great deal... just as I did with the strippers. Do I dislike sociopaths? Yes. Do I think all <insert group x here> are sociopathic? No.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 2:20:34 PM   
FinDommeXtina


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2012
From: USA
Status: offline 		FinSubs are all over. I would love to be able to copy and paste my pages of messages but that would be against the TOS. FinSubs who ACTUALLY want to play out the fantasy and not just chatter about it while wanking - now that's where it gets tricky. They are hard to find, but once you develop a relationship with them, they usually never stray. So that is why it takes a great leap and bound to really grab my attention. I used to reply to every single message I received (and really I still reply to 90% of them) but the hours were ticking by faster and faster and I wasn't getting anything out of it whether sexual or monetary.. Now, as my own personal choice, I do make any new finsubs run a bit of a gauntlet - the reward at the end being My Time and developing this relationship. Serious4Serious - that's all I'm asking. Finsubs with the FANTASY can go read plenty of FinDom porn online. I am a real person. I cry, I laugh, and I humiliate them. I get up, I shower, I drink coffee. I am not a Pro raking in a mint every year. All of it is consensual and expected for my time. Trust me.. the finsubs are out there. Just most are not serious about living the fantasy. I am sure most of you would agree that you have met many people who want to play the fantasy but don't want it to become real. It's the same ideal really.

Why pay for a FinDomme?

Because I give you my time. I give you my heart. You know my favorite food, color, shampoo, etc. I am not just on stage waiting for a few dollar bills to be throw at me so I can take my top off. I become a real relationship to you.

gah typos!!

< Message edited by FinDommeXtina -- 12/26/2012 2:24:15 PM >

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 409
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 2:34:50 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Teroh
Damn I'm reading that and it sounds cold... But it's how I feel. Maybe because with the aforementioned I sense a more straightforward logical quid pro quo. Not to mention I don't have to see or hear about them frequently.

Everyone has their preferences and they are entitled to them. The error is when we start painting those preferences onto other people. You know what freaks me right the fuck out? Humiliation. Yup... that right there is bad bad shit in my eyes.

But here's the thing. I understand that my eyes are not everyone's eyes. In point of fact I eventually learned why I saw it one way and other people saw it a different way. So while you don't get the give & take in a fin sub/dom relationship that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. An interesting thought that occurred to me is that America as a whole fetishizes money. It's not exactly much of a stretch to get to "findomme".

All that being said I'm finding this thread the most fascinating one I've read in a long time. I've come to see this as "The BDSM community evaluating some new aspect and deciding if it's 'us' or 'them'. I see this thread as an evolutionary decision point for BDSM -- much like M/s was (and still is to some extent). In the end I see the discussion as entirely reasonable. Any community or group or whatever gets to decide who's in and who's out. In fact, they must do so in order to have any identity at all.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Teroh)
Profile   Post #: 410
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 2:42:56 PM   
FinDommeXtina


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2012
From: USA
Status: offline 		Very well said JeffBC.

I still don't understand being humiliated. I would never ever dream of being turned on by it. However, it is something I am naturally good at (gee thanks parents and highschool). All I know is.. that it exists, and that in itself is validity of the fetish.

There simply would not be FinDommes if the demand for them wasn't overwhelming. Hey atleast it cuts through all the BS and lets us get right down to business hehe!

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 411
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 3:13:47 PM   
Teroh


Posts: 35
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FinDommeXtina

Very well said JeffBC.

I still don't understand being humiliated. I would never ever dream of being turned on by it. However, it is something I am naturally good at (gee thanks parents and highschool). All I know is.. that it exists, and that in itself is validity of the fetish.

There simply would not be FinDommes if the demand for them wasn't overwhelming. Hey atleast it cuts through all the BS and lets us get right down to business hehe!


Is there though? Like I said I haven't seen one post to date. I agree from an economics perspective that the laws of supply and demand apply here as they do in any service industry. Hell I would even be morally set with the concept as a whole if all parties knew exactly what they were paying/being paid for. I still would be unlikely to associate with them, just like I wouldn't want to associate with people who eat feces, but hey if that's there thing. That's not the question though, the question isn't are there these mystical strange pay pig creatures. The question is, is it a legitimate form of BDSM. I suppose that all depends on if giving away money to a stranger (or person on the Internet) is somehow erotic, and of course massochistic. See this is where the hang-up arises....

All practices in BDSM have an underlying psychological or physiological rationale that helps to identity them as pleasurable biologically. (Most basic example would be endorphins released during spanking). So my question is this, what's the methodology that translates buying trinkets or what have you for someone else that you've never physically seen (at stage 1 where, from your comments, it seems they give you an initial tribute).

(in reply to FinDommeXtina)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 3:15:55 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Teroh
All practices in BDSM have an underlying psychological or physiological rationale that helps to identity them as pleasurable biologically.

Ergo, I should not be here.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Teroh)
Profile   Post #: 413
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 3:17:50 PM   
GoddessArena


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/26/2012
Status: offline 		yeah but most FINDOMMES do that because as a findomme we are rewarded financially not with just money but with gifts. and if you dont ask at first sight, down the road you may be wondering like damn why havent i received anything money, clothes, shoes, even a letter. because the sub thinks he doesnt have to give u shit because u never asked at the beginning. we ask at the beggining to make sure that the subs are legit an know that this is a financial situation....they must know that their job is to serve an reward the princess.

(in reply to idogaydrugs)
Profile   Post #: 414
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 3:37:06 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

I wanted to be sure you didn't accuse me of making up what you had said.

Another loser busted

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 3:48:24 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		FR-

Just to add something to the conversation I would like to point out that some findommes do infact meet their subs.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to stef)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 3:51:07 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Yep.

Hell, I live with and married to my primary one!

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)
Profile   Post #: 417
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 3:55:06 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		I was married to one for 14 years. Lived with another for 6. Fin three now that all live within a mile of my house. I think it might be helpful when people are trying to figure out this fetish if they would stop assuming that the "princess" profiles they see online are all there are to it.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 12/26/2012 3:56:04 PM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 418
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 3:59:41 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Indeed...but then it's been said and described repeatedly, in threads several times a week, and repeatedly in this thread itself - but the complainers don't care about the details, consent, various forms, etc. They don't listen to one word stated here about how many of us are of other types.

They're here just to bitch, they don't care about, you know, actual people's experience with actual findom.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)
Profile   Post #: 419
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 12/26/2012 4:06:31 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
I was married to one for 14 years. Lived with another for 6. Fin three now that all live within a mile of my house. I think it might be helpful when people are trying to figure out this fetish if they would stop assuming that the "princess" profiles they see online are all there are to it.

Which would be roughly equivalent to believing that the "master" one meets at a MAsT meeting is likely to resemble the "master" one reads about on a SwaggerDom profile.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)
Profile   Post #: 420
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