quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: IWillTeachYouGir


To me it has always boiled down to: Would you be this way if no money was involved? That should determine the legitimacy of it.

So does that mean that teachers that don't teach for FREE aren't really teachers?
Does that mean if my mechanic doesn't fix my car for FREE that he isn't really a mechanic?

Really? Lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: IWillTeachYouGir

I think you kind of missed the point in a rush to make a comment. Being a teacher or mechanic isn't really a comparison to being a part of an alternative lifestyle since it (the lifestyle) has more to do with emotions and feeling, not monetary reward and we all (although some probably should) don't get degrees in it.

I think that is where all the feelings get hurt here, are you Domme if money isn't involved or is money what makes you one? Again, like the rest of my post said, I don't care, to each their own but it is a pretty legitimate question. You make it sound like if we don't get paid it isn't real.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

I don't think my comparisons are off this time.
Although I admit sometimes they are a lil out there.
To ME, it's the same idea.

Here is why...

Because I am a teacher regardless.
However, I will not teach for free.

I am a switch regardless.
However, I will not do sessions with people other than my primary partner(s) for free.

I enjoy financial domination.
However, I obviously don't do it for free.

I enjoy participating in fetish videos.
Again, I wouldn't do it for free.

You can enjoy things and still refuse to do them for free.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IWillTeachYouGir

This was all a very cool read to be honest.

To me it has always boiled down to: Would you be this way if no money was involved? That should determine the legitimacy of it. That said, people should do whatever they want, if you are into this and get paid for it, more power to you. The whole point of this entire "lifestyle" should be to be yourself anyways. Otherwise we would all just try to fit to some strict moral code of living.

For the Dancer in here, you girls work you butts off, more power to you if you find enjoyment in it, regulars, and making good money.

As for the fake adds, etc. All of us are supposed to be adults on here and it is the internet. If dudes want to throw their money at fake profiles, etc. let them. For them it is probably a rush and safer then getting busted calling an escort or something. That is why they do it. They know it isn't real.

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ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

... I think the majority of so-called "Dommes" in this field aren't. They have no idea what it means to be dominant (nor do I think they care) and they equate being dominant with being a bitchy twat. They're just a bunch "women" that have discovered that some guys are desperate enough to buy them gifts and pay their bills.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

... I can honestly say that I am sometimes sickened by the number of 19 year old "financial Dommes" there are on CM.

... I seriously question how much knowledge all of these 19 year old financial dommes are bringing to the party. Will the really have enough knowledge and experience to draw upon to give a paying client his money's worth?

Also, a pet peeve of mine is Dommes who are giving people the bird in their profile pics. And it seems like financial Dommes are the ones who are most likely to strike this pose in their pictures. [:'(]

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: IWillTeachYouGir

I think you kind of missed the point in a rush to make a comment. Being a teacher or mechanic isn't really a comparison to being a part of an alternative lifestyle since it (the lifestyle) has more to do with emotions and feeling, not monetary reward and we all (although some probably should) don't get degrees in it.

I think that is where all the feelings get hurt here, are you Domme if money isn't involved or is money what makes you one? Again, like the rest of my post said, I don't care, to each their own but it is a pretty legitimate question. You make it sound like if we don't get paid it isn't real.

I don't think my comparisons are off this time.
Although I admit sometimes they are a lil out there.
To ME, it's the same idea.

Here is why...

Because I am a teacher regardless.
However, I will not teach for free.

I am a switch regardless.
However, I will not do sessions with people other than my primary partner(s) for free.

I enjoy financial domination.
However, I obviously don't do it for free.

I enjoy participating in fetish videos.
Again, I wouldn't do it for free.

You can enjoy things and still refuse to do them for free.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

quote:

ORIGINAL: IWillTeachYouGir

This was all a very cool read to be honest.

To me it has always boiled down to: Would you be this way if no money was involved? That should determine the legitimacy of it. That said, people should do whatever they want, if you are into this and get paid for it, more power to you. The whole point of this entire "lifestyle" should be to be yourself anyways. Otherwise we would all just try to fit to some strict moral code of living.

For the Dancer in here, you girls work you butts off, more power to you if you find enjoyment in it, regulars, and making good money.

As for the fake adds, etc. All of us are supposed to be adults on here and it is the internet. If dudes want to throw their money at fake profiles, etc. let them. For them it is probably a rush and safer then getting busted calling an escort or something. That is why they do it. They know it isn't real.

I got what you said.. And yes, I would be. But I happen to enjoy that aspect of control. But yes, I would still be this way.

Thank you for the dancer compliment. Yes we do work our asses off,lol.

And your right about the fake adds part. I never really stopped to think about maybe it's something they enjoy. Kinda like a financial Russian roulette. Hey, whatever floats their boat.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

I am an experienced female Dominant who is neither a Pro Domme nor a Fin-Domme. It may work well for others, however I don't have to desire nor the time for either one. I'm financially sound, with no desire to teach a submissive how to better manage his money. I'm not wrapped up in societal norms as I've explained in my profile so I'm not concerned about who pays for what when a submissive and I are together.

I agree with the two comments below. I haven't been on this site for very long, but in the time I have, I've never seen such an influx of 20 something Fin-Dommes on a website in my life! It's like all of a sudden these girls have figured out how to get a "free ride," and are falling all over each other trying to join the site.

As for what I think about Financial Domination and if it should be considered a "legitimate" area of BDSM? I honestly don't know. I understand its intentions, but... (shrugs) I have a difficult time wrapping my logical mind around it. You mentioned also that so many of us keep pointing out the 20 something Fin-Dommes. But to be honest, I have yet to see an older,experienced Fin-Domme bring attention to herself.

(Thank you)

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ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Well to name a few, myself, lil Squaw and Allison Wilder would be examples of experienced fin dommes.

Now the 19 year old princesses...definitely want a free ride.

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ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
but is this really different from the societal norm that says that the man should pay?

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ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

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ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder
Is managing someones finances a form of D/s?

No. Otherwise we'd be drowning in accountant Doms - except they seem to tend more to the sub side of things.

quote:

I say yes. I say when you work for it, if you work extra/overtime for it, I say where it goes, be it a savings account, a 401k, bills, food, family, yourself, electronics, books, shoes, anything. If you are my sub, you ask to buy so much as a pack of gum because I control your money.

So your 'subs' are basically fools. Giving control of your money to someone you don't know is how people are swindled. They have absolutely no way of knowing what you'll do with it or if they'll end up in financial ruin. If they happen to have a family, they're wildly irresponsible fools.

And people honestly can't see why anyone would object to this? Wake up and smell the maple-nut crunch people. How many families go into penury because of this shit? Christ, no wonder you fuckers object to universal health care - you really don't give a flying fuck about anyone but yourselves.

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ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

TNDommeK, I understand where the opinions come from. I get that all people are exposed to are the bratty bitches flipping the bird and barely speaking to them, if they speak to them at all after. I've come across profile after profile that's filled with wishlist info, 'fuck you, pay me' crap, 'I'm better than you, little piggy, now pay to worship me' kinds of stuff so I get the frustration.

It certainly doesn't help that they multiply like rabbits and then come spew their 'I'm better than you, now pay me and bow to me' shit on the discussion board side. They make those of us that are actually involved in this life and that are into the fetish look like idiots. Because of all of that, it makes it harder for people to ever take us seriously, even though we've proven over and over that we're real people who can hold conversations and don't expect every person to pay for our time.

I'll never change someones mind about me and after 30 pages of me participating in this thread, I no longer expect to. I also no longer care. I am what I am, I'm honest about it, I'm up front about it and I know what I do isn't what people assume.

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ORIGINAL: lee1979

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ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
but is this really different from the societal norm that says that the man should pay?

I agree with pretty much everything you said except this bit. I really don't think this is even remotely true in the modern world and have been on plenty of vanilla dates and never once did the girl feel it was acceptable to expect me to pay for everything.