RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s?

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/30/2013 6:22:26 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

No its not.

No its not what?

If you are talking about IC, only the slave section survives unless you are telling me its just been resurrected

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/30/2013 6:23:44 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

And if we ticked such a box, we would still get whiny rants from certain quarters about all findoms/prodommes being whores and scammers.

Funnily enough, you didn't really get much of that at all on that site. Not sure why we get so much of it here. Perhaps the markets just been over saturated.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/30/2013 1:22:37 PM

TNDommeK

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I think so, fin ducks are popping up everywhere. And I'm not a hypocrite, if subs enjoy that, then more power to them. I'll never bash them. I might hide my head in the sand from embarrassment for them but its what floats their boat.

However, I'm sure they have burned a few people, which I'm sure is why some subs bitch and complain.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/30/2013 2:35:45 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
Funnily enough, you didn't really get much of that at all on that site. Not sure why we get so much of it here. Perhaps the markets just been over saturated.

Meaning the complaining about it or the actual folks who participate in fin kink, themselves?

If it's the former, I'd be willing to stand up and say cultural differences. In the UK, pay for play is legal and because it doesn't carry a criminal stigma, it's seen much differently. Here, there's a different attitude. Informed Consent (and I was really sorry that those in the UK lost that resource) being based in the UK is going to have a different atmosphere on the subject, rather than CM, which is based in the USA and a high percentage of the membership is in this country.

Well, there's that, and the sour grapes that have been mentioned elsewhere between the two discussions.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/30/2013 2:59:13 PM

jola37

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One thing in the UK is almost anyone I've met who claims to know a Dominatrix, they nearly always feel cool about it. It's hip to know a Domme, this is knowing her in a vanilla context btw. I get the sense that most people think good on her if she can make a living out of it.

I have been aware of Fin Dom as part of a Pro-Dommes repertoire but had never seen it as their only modus operandi until I became a member here. At first I just couldn't get my head round it, but I think I can see one way it gives a buzz. The feeling of losing control buzz. I like to get this feeling by being restrained, others maybe by being locked in a cage or handing power over to another. I can see that a Fin Dommes client can hand over sums of money and then get that feeling of being out of control (maybe of himself) and this is the way he feels comfortable achieving this. I can totally see this.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/30/2013 6:14:04 PM

TNDommeK

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That and some men associate money with power. Taking away their money is like taking their power.
But you have some ppl who feel its fraud or whatever bullshit they conjure up in their heads,lol.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 11:39:42 AM

Zonie63

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Bump.

There are several threads on the front page that were already answered here. So I'm bumping it back up to the 1st page. But in truth, I doubt that we can stop people from creating 10 new financial domination threads each week. But I still decided to try.

The only trouble with the really long threads is that one has to wade through a lot of stuff just to get to some of the pearls of wisdom. It's hard to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Besides, it seems that everything that can be argued from either side has already been argued; as a result many of the newer threads just go over the same ground which was previously covered in other threads. Eventually, you just get to a point to agree to disagree and move on.

But it's also understandable that new visitors to the boards may not realize what has already been discussed, which is why it's considered good etiquette to search the forum and find out if the topic has been raised before. A lot of people don't bother to do that, or even if they do, they want their questions answered anyway.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 12:06:48 PM

OpheliaMacabre

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I can understand why people would think financial domination is more of a scam than an actual fetish, but I know it's because it's so misunderstood and a lot of the women who get into it ARE cons. They use other people's pictures or think they deserve being spoiled, but not knowing that it means satisfaction on both ends. I enjoy humiliating, rejecting, and draining men. It actually gets me off. I also believe in getting to know my subs and knowing exactly what they like and what they don't like. I want to build that trust. Without the trust, it doesn't work, much like with any other fetish out there. I'm not a findomme to make a quick buck. I'm a findomme because THAT IS MY FETISH.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 12:49:39 PM

Spiritedsub2

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-FR

Posted last week on the forums by a self-identified male sub about fin dommes:

"Doesn't make the fact that you're only offering thirst, not water, any less of an example that you're sucking men dry."

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 1:12:25 PM

MariaB

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I certainly don't think the whole things a scam but much of it is. The problem is, this is now a cottage industry and many of these supposed Fin Domes don't know what they are doing-therefore providing a disappointing and negative experience for the one who paid.
.....................................................
This is a good link http://lifeofstupid.wordpress.com/2007/10/21/financial-domination-or-why-youre-broke-now/

Another problem is that the idea behind D/s is not to exploit submissives, nor is it to objectify them – although both have there place and make up a large part of D/s. It’s meant to be an enriching experience for both parties. The kink in power exchange is that the dominant enriches the submissives life by controlling them and compelling them to live in service to another and that the submissive wants this.
I don’t think the that there being such a focus on exploitation is quite recognized as a problem. On the contrary it’s often seen as the basis for financial domination. Many financial doms and subs seem to miss this point. While financial domination isn’t completely compatible with traditional domination it’s also not as incompatible as many might argue.

A slave disobeys, fails or you feel like torturing them? Take some of their money, enough to hurt or at least make them squirm. How does a sub show you that he has submitted to you in real-time? He submits to you beating him or tying him up, he cleans your house or runs your errands. But how does he do it if he lives in another state or country? He gives you a regular tribute or buys you presents, he pays your rent or bills. That’s financial domination 101. Take it a few steps farther – begin exploiting his weaknesses and manipulating him into giving you more and more money. Now we get to financial sadism. Make him pay you some percentage of his paycheck, or all of it, and give him an allowance to live on. Now you’ve got yourself some financial bondage. Basic economics and some simple S&M mainstays combine to make a mutually satisfying, online capable, information age fetish.

...................................................

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 1:31:32 PM

SimplyMichael

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Maria,

I can "rape" a woman and have it be a nice hot scene with loads of consent. Doesn't legitimize rape.

There is a vast difference between using financial controls to increase the level of control in an actual relationship and conning a sucker out of money.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 1:36:43 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There is a vast difference between using financial controls to increase the level of control in an actual relationship and conning a sucker out of money.

I used to kinda lean your way there, SM, but the lilone has kinda convinced me otherwise.
One of the great laws of life is,"You can't play tennis alone."
It takes nimrods with open wallets to keep fin domming going.
If they get hornswaggled, that's on them.
Takes two to tango.

These chicks are selling a bill of goods, but nobodies making these cats buy.
If they do, that they do, despite site warnings, common sense and any sort of maturity, well, that's their bad.
It's their money-who am I to tell em how to part with it?

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 2:15:15 PM

TNDommeK

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Kana it doesn't matter how you try to educate him. He is close minded, like Dink, doesn't listen to actual facts and feels he knows everything on the subject.,his comment is the actual garbage that a person with have to sift through to find pearls of wisdom mentioned earlier.

However, his vocab is getting a bit funnier with each post. Criminal whore almost had me spitting coffee everywhere. What a moronic thing to say.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 7/31/2013 2:16:51 PM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 2:21:42 PM

fartinmynostrils

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If a woman lavishes me with financial largesse....she can dominate me anyhow she wants. So yes, I love financial domination!

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 2:49:01 PM

TNDommeK

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You see Kana, he waltzed right past the "you can't play tennis alone".

You can lead a horse to water...but ya can't make em THINK

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 2:58:05 PM

TNDommeK

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This x1000

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 3:06:07 PM

Kana

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My original post got yanked due to quoting a yanked post so I'm reposting my comments here so as to not make TD look insane with her "This X1000" post. :-p

Ooooooh, I understand you here. I've posted pretty regularly about my feelings.
Right now though-this is kinda where I'm at:
Having loads of fins (And I wanna be clear I'm separating the ones who've never wielded a paddle and are only in it for the loot from people in the scene like our very own TenneDommen or Lp) is like having a liquor store in your backyard.Kinda handy, but they attract their fair share of problems, loiterers, drunks, not great people. Brings down everyone's property value.
The thing is though, I would never question any of the customers on how and why they are making their purchases. Fuck, with some of those folk (Me, when I was a drinking man), you'd be risking your hide to get between them and their booze.
And some of those cats, they've gone to extravagent measures to get that cash, begged, sold their ass, sold their fucking blood.
But it's their money. The product is legal. I don't hafta like it, but I also have zero right to say how they spend their hard earned loot.
That's on them.
Completely.

Now, if your issue is more the countless fakes on the other side, I'm with ya there.
Or, to be more exact, with RS, who does this shit for a living and has made, to me at least, a convincing case why it's bad business to let this go on. For lots of reasons.
But he argues this better than I, and has the facts and stats to back that discussion up, whereas I don't.
And you are making a vast assumption in thinking I have any credibility at all to lose.

And I added this

And even if I did have any credibility/street rep/name/whatever, why would I give a shit? It don't affect me or mine so WTF do I care?
People gonna think/do all sortsa crazy shit.
That's on them. And it's their problem too. Just don't come crying to me should things go wrong cuz I'll be about as sympathetic as granite

I mean shit, this is BDSM. Any old idiot can call themselves a Dom. Why can't any chica haul off, label herself a Domina and start charging fools who are lost enough to pay em.

Hell, if anything, I'm jealous. Trust me here. If I were a hot ass bitch I'd make Scarlett O'Hara (Rhett to Scarlett:"You use your beauty as a weapon") look like a piker.
I'd make the world kiss my fine ass.

< Message edited by Kana -- 7/31/2013 3:15:33 PM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 3:10:37 PM

TNDommeK

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Are the comments disappearing?

I hear ya, but what you said made sense, the problem is..will ppl understand that? And I wouldn't call any of my subs idjits lol, they know what's up.

Oh and in response to micheal:

I think you and I agree. I don't want that either. The day I start fucking for money, I'll be honest and call myself a whore. And won't mention kink. But for now, since I'm a financial dominant woman, a professional dominant woman, AND (gasp) a lifestyle dominant woman...I won't take on the name whore just because you think it fits.

Let me break this down in preschool powder form for you...I don't particularly know the mods, only from time to time when getting gold letters. So I get no special privileges here. I follow rules just like you have to. Only difference is I'm not a fucking cry baby about other ppls kinks that aren't mine. I respect their kinks and let them do their thing.

The consent between my subs and myself are between us but since you choose to feel like I'm a fraud I'll keep going slow for you...I saw that you read my profile, but did you actually read it? I'm very upfront about what I do. My subs know everything. They know I'm married, they know I don't fuck for money. And the first one who even so much as breaths some fuck shit like that, will be dropped. Period.

Now take all this info you've gotten, twist it around to better your story and comment.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 7/31/2013 3:27:25 PM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 3:22:47 PM

dink22

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Kana it doesn't matter how you try to educate him. He is close minded, like Dink, doesn't listen to actual facts and feels he knows everything on the subject.,his comment is the actual garbage that a person with have to sift through to find pearls of wisdom mentioned earlier.

However, his vocab is getting a bit funnier with each post. Criminal whore almost had me spitting coffee everywhere. What a moronic thing to say.

Tell me what "facts" to listen to.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 7/31/2013 3:25:46 PM

VideoAdminChi

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quote:

Are the comments disappearing?

Yes, some posts were pulled for violations as were posts that quoted or replied to them. Certain posters should check for gold mail. Those who merely quoted or replied generally do not get mail. If your post is still relevant (replied to more than that which was in violation) and you would like it back to repost, please CMail me.

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