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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/3/2013 4:52:24 PM   
YoungAbusiveDom


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/2/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63

Well, sure, in that context I can see it, although that seems like it would be more in the context of a committed relationship. I know a situation where the man is the primary breadwinner, but the wife still controls the money only because she's more financially savvy than her husband. I don't know if that makes one or the other dominant or submissive, but it seems more just a matter of delegating a task to the one who is better skilled at carrying it out.


You make a very good point. I just happen to see it differently, which might cause a lot of confusion . I see dominance and submission in a different context altogether, or so it seems. When it comes to finances, I think the power could swing based on who controls what, and the perspective from which it is looked at. To me, the person with income could be play a very submissive role. I think even if they controlled most of their earnings, and were to give away portions as a/an <insert quirky name here>, they could still fulfil the ultimate submissive role. I think a submissive should have a fair amount of power; but to me, that doesn't make them dominant in one aspect. Make sense? I'm weird lol.

Maybe I'm just reading too far into it? Hey, it's all in the name of the debate and philosophy/psychology behind our mind games! haha

< Message edited by YoungAbusiveDom -- 9/3/2013 4:53:17 PM >

_____________________________

Violence is not an answer. Violence is a tool. It is up to us to use that tool for something productive. We have chosen to misuse this tool for many years, and it's disheartening. It's time to start using this precious tool for something productive.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/3/2013 9:50:51 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I don't think Jeff was being rude, that's just how he has discussion. I guess you'd have to know him from the forums to understand.
:)

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/3/2013 10:24:52 PM   
YoungAbusiveDom


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/2/2013
Status: offline 		It seemed to not be just a simple discussion to me; but if that is how he has a discussion... I'll just keep my mouth shut on that part. I'd rather not get into a debate on how to debate lol.

_____________________________

Violence is not an answer. Violence is a tool. It is up to us to use that tool for something productive. We have chosen to misuse this tool for many years, and it's disheartening. It's time to start using this precious tool for something productive.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 1:36:26 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		It's all good. :)

_____________________________

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 3:03:03 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungAbusiveDom

It seemed to not be just a simple discussion to me; but if that is how he has a discussion... I'll just keep my mouth shut on that part. I'd rather not get into a debate on how to debate lol.


You'll find that many of us are (at least in the forums) blunt and to the point. While I, personally am not that way in person, it's quicker and easier to just type what we mean here, rather than to dance around something and to sugar coat it. Also, many of us have had these same discussions for years. While we may have been rather verbose when we first started discussing something, many of us have distilled our arguments down to the main points we wish to make. *g*

_____________________________

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A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 5:23:58 AM   
Zonie63


Posts: 2826
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungAbusiveDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63

Well, sure, in that context I can see it, although that seems like it would be more in the context of a committed relationship. I know a situation where the man is the primary breadwinner, but the wife still controls the money only because she's more financially savvy than her husband. I don't know if that makes one or the other dominant or submissive, but it seems more just a matter of delegating a task to the one who is better skilled at carrying it out.


You make a very good point. I just happen to see it differently, which might cause a lot of confusion . I see dominance and submission in a different context altogether, or so it seems. When it comes to finances, I think the power could swing based on who controls what, and the perspective from which it is looked at. To me, the person with income could be play a very submissive role. I think even if they controlled most of their earnings, and were to give away portions as a/an <insert quirky name here>, they could still fulfil the ultimate submissive role. I think a submissive should have a fair amount of power; but to me, that doesn't make them dominant in one aspect. Make sense? I'm weird lol.

Maybe I'm just reading too far into it? Hey, it's all in the name of the debate and philosophy/psychology behind our mind games! haha


My view is that individuals/couples/whatever can make their own rules and live according to whatever style they wish - as long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others. If the topic comes up in conversation, I might state my opinion if I'm interested, but that's pretty much where it ends. In the final analysis, others have to their lives and I have to live mine.

I'm not even sure what it is that makes us either dominant or submissive. I like the fact that issues like this can explored in these forums, as it gives me insight and perspectives that I may not have thought of. Some often make comparisons to wolf packs, the so-called "alpha wolves" and "beta wolves," implying that dominance and submission is just part of nature.

In this thread, the concept of money itself is also an integral component of the discussion. This, I think, is where the issue gets complicated and somewhat confusing, and it's where the arguing and other hullabaloo surrounding this topic comes from.

I don't think that money, in and of itself, makes someone either dominant or submissive. They might be dominant or submissive for other reasons, perhaps something more natural and basic which would likely still exist even if we lived in a society where money didn't exist.

I also think that it's perfectly natural for anyone to like to receive gifts and be pampered, whether dominant, submissive, vanilla, or whatever. Hell, even dogs and cats like to be pampered. Nothing wrong with that at all.

(in reply to YoungAbusiveDom)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 8:48:25 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I don't think Jeff was being rude, that's just how he has discussion. I guess you'd have to know him from the forums to understand.
:)

OK, I went back and read it. Especially now after something like 9 hours sleep (a miracle I haven't seen i weeks) I agree it was somewhat rude... .although with provocation. Could I have written it all a bit better? Yeah. I apologize YoungAbusiveDom.

Now that the apology is delivered clean, I'm still likely to point out the random theories unsubstantiated by fact that people of all stripes post on these boards. Nothing will change my viewpoint that passive-aggressiveness is the hallmark of a submissive personality. A dominant personality feels empowered so it aggresses or not as it sees fit.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 10:22:23 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		"Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? "

Nope . . . it is a form of business.

Glad I could clear that up for y'all after 79 pages.



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I give good thread.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 10:31:46 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		This thread just won't die, will it?


< Message edited by MasterCaneman -- 9/4/2013 10:32:26 AM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 1:43:19 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		If this thread stays, others can't be started. Plus, there's good shit in here.

RS, thank you for clearing things up, all this time I thought I enjoyed my kinks. Whodathunk it was business the whole time. Guess I better register with the yellow pages.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 4:10:29 PM   
YoungAbusiveDom


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/2/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

OK, I went back and read it. Especially now after something like 9 hours sleep (a miracle I haven't seen i weeks) I agree it was somewhat rude... .although with provocation. Could I have written it all a bit better? Yeah. I apologize YoungAbusiveDom.

Now that the apology is delivered clean, I'm still likely to point out the random theories unsubstantiated by fact that people of all stripes post on these boards. Nothing will change my viewpoint that passive-aggressiveness is the hallmark of a submissive personality. A dominant personality feels empowered so it aggresses or not as it sees fit.


No apology necessary, but welcomed. I'm not hurt by what you said. I wasn't sure how it was meant to be interpreted, but I see your point. I know I probably provoked a response like that, but I didn't think I did that good enough of a job o.O

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

You'll find that many of us are (at least in the forums) blunt and to the point. While I, personally am not that way in person, it's quicker and easier to just type what we mean here, rather than to dance around something and to sugar coat it. Also, many of us have had these same discussions for years. While we may have been rather verbose when we first started discussing something, many of us have distilled our arguments down to the main points we wish to make. *g*


I can see your point; I don't like monotony either. I do raise the question as to why those who have already covered a topic, and decided upon an outcome, seem to have a strong dislike for seeing the exact same debates/conversations occurring again. Personally, I'd just sit back and watch to see the 'new' outcome; but that is probably because I'm a big people watcher. I know history always repeats itself, so maybe I'm just more open to watching it repeat, but to see if new people create different outcomes. Maybe if the 'veterans' were to keep quiet, there might some new light or ideas that were never broached before. Not trying to tell everyone to keep their mouths shut lol, just a humble thought I had since this is a N-teenth time I've seen this attitude happen on BBS/social networking sites. It seems like those who've previously discussed/debated a topic come off as "we've solved this problem, you weren't here, and we're right because we've answered all the questions." While it may be true, it kills the learning process for many. I've watched a lot of sites lose new members, and potential ones, because of this attitude. Again, I'm only making an observation, just to help the potential of this thread (and others).

_____________________________

Violence is not an answer. Violence is a tool. It is up to us to use that tool for something productive. We have chosen to misuse this tool for many years, and it's disheartening. It's time to start using this precious tool for something productive.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1571
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 5:54:21 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I never said we solved it or that we're done talking about it. Just that we have become less verbose with our arguments. Feel free to pound away though.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to YoungAbusiveDom)
Profile   Post #: 1572
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 5:57:37 PM   
YoungAbusiveDom


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/2/2013
Status: offline 		It was just a minor musing. I wasn't trying to imply anyone said it was a solved problem; I was just saying that the tone seems to be more assertive about their answers with those who have already discussed a topic for a long time. Kind of like they're less open to keeping the topic going, though I'm quite positive that isn't the case.

_____________________________

Violence is not an answer. Violence is a tool. It is up to us to use that tool for something productive. We have chosen to misuse this tool for many years, and it's disheartening. It's time to start using this precious tool for something productive.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 1573
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 6:07:06 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

OK, I went back and read it. Especially now after something like 9 hours sleep (a miracle I haven't seen i weeks) I agree it was somewhat rude... .although with provocation. Could I have written it all a bit better? Yeah. I apologize YoungAbusiveDom.

Now that the apology is delivered clean, I'm still likely to point out the random theories unsubstantiated by fact that people of all stripes post on these boards. Nothing will change my viewpoint that passive-aggressiveness is the hallmark of a submissive personality. A dominant personality feels empowered so it aggresses or not as it sees fit.



I thought you made some very good points in your post regardless of how it was received by some. I personally agreed with all of the points that you made as having merit.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 1574
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 6:11:02 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungAbusiveDom


I can see your point; I don't like monotony either. I do raise the question as to why those who have already covered a topic, and decided upon an outcome, seem to have a strong dislike for seeing the exact same debates/conversations occurring again. Personally, I'd just sit back and watch to see the 'new' outcome; but that is probably because I'm a big people watcher. I know history always repeats itself, so maybe I'm just more open to watching it repeat, but to see if new people create different outcomes. Maybe if the 'veterans' were to keep quiet, there might some new light or ideas that were never broached before. Not trying to tell everyone to keep their mouths shut lol, just a humble thought I had since this is a N-teenth time I've seen this attitude happen on BBS/social networking sites. It seems like those who've previously discussed/debated a topic come off as "we've solved this problem, you weren't here, and we're right because we've answered all the questions." While it may be true, it kills the learning process for many. I've watched a lot of sites lose new members, and potential ones, because of this attitude. Again, I'm only making an observation, just to help the potential of this thread (and others).



Seriously? You advocate against freedom of speech? Interesting. Even though you say you aren't telling people to keep their mouths shut, you are actually telling a group of people to do just that. So should there be a restriction on the internet that you can't contribute if you've been at a place for longer than x amount of time? I honestly don't see how that would be preferable. Maybe we'll just start pulling out other random characteristics then for posters to fit, like ethnicity, political leanings, or gender.

(in reply to YoungAbusiveDom)
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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 7:58:44 PM   
YoungAbusiveDom


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/2/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Seriously? You advocate against freedom of speech? Interesting. Even though you say you aren't telling people to keep their mouths shut, you are actually telling a group of people to do just that. So should there be a restriction on the internet that you can't contribute if you've been at a place for longer than x amount of time? I honestly don't see how that would be preferable. Maybe we'll just start pulling out other random characteristics then for posters to fit, like ethnicity, political leanings, or gender.


That's far from what I was meaning to say. When you take what I said out of context, that could very well be an interpretation.

_____________________________

Violence is not an answer. Violence is a tool. It is up to us to use that tool for something productive. We have chosen to misuse this tool for many years, and it's disheartening. It's time to start using this precious tool for something productive.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 1576
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 8:27:23 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungAbusiveDom

That's far from what I was meaning to say. When you take what I said out of context, that could very well be an interpretation.


I'm confused, what was taken out of context and misinterpreted?

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 9:55:03 PM   
GoddessAngel13


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/31/2013
Status: offline 		I can only speak for myself and my experience, but many sub/slaves are very into this,
just like i am and i have had a few slaves think spanking them was silly and stupid. Everything is mutual and no law is broken here. Like I say, to each is own and we are not the "type of people" to pass judgement on anyone's lifestyle choices. I for one, thinking whipping someone to the point of blood is drawn is disgusting, so I would never be open to that. But again, if that's your thing on both sides of the relationship and its mutual, more power to you both, why should I care what someone else wants/does?
Like someone stated there, are people out there Into illegal acts real sick stuff, like animals and children, so if you want to get the pitch forks and torches out, those are the ones to call out and go after. ;)

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Profile   Post #: 1578
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2013 11:37:34 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Agreed. That's my whole point about an "alternative lifestyle".
Kinks aren't supposed to be frowned on or judged just bc they may not be another's kink. (Unless of course they're illegal)

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to GoddessAngel13)
Profile   Post #: 1579
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 4:40:19 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Agreed. That's my whole point about an "alternative lifestyle".
Kinks aren't supposed to be frowned on or judged just bc they may not be another's kink. (Unless of course they're illegal)


Ya know TNDommeK, I'd almost have to change that "unless they're illegal" to "unless they're immoral." (because I don't think wiitwd is wrong, but under the right (wrong) circumstances, we could find that it's been made illegal.) And then we'd have to define what immoral is. I guess I'd define that as when you hurt others non-consensually. (and I think sex with animals or children fall into that category)

Does that make sense? (no sleep) *g*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1580
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