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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 7:46:29 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Agreed. That's my whole point about an "alternative lifestyle".
Kinks aren't supposed to be frowned on or judged just bc they may not be another's kink. (Unless of course they're illegal)

Delusional gunk. Humans do not work this way. We want to know "who's in and who's out". The alternative community, by my estimation, has WAY more rules for being included than the mainstream community does (heh, the advantages of being the default choice).

The whole YKIMY business sounds great as a slogan but no human will ever operate that way. It never ceases to amaze me that I routinely run afoul of stuff that is 100% NOT allowed or accepted in kinkland. So no, don't kid yourself. There will be rules of acceptability and there will be the secret handshake and decoder rings. All human communities have them and embattled subcommunities circle the wagons more aggressively than most.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 8:33:21 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

The whole YKIMY business sounds great as a slogan but no human will ever operate that way. It never ceases to amaze me that I routinely run afoul of stuff that is 100% NOT allowed or accepted in kinkland. So no, don't kid yourself. There will be rules of acceptability and there will be the secret handshake and decoder rings. All human communities have them and embattled subcommunities circle the wagons more aggressively than most.


Agreed.... The only thing that gets the mainstream in arms is those people in the alternative lifestyle group and even then they only pay mild attention to it. But hell.... I find no one more judgemental than those within the Alternative community compared to those outside it. It makes me laugh at those comments that we are sooooo tolerant and accepting.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 10:22:55 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Fast reply.
I was referring to kids and animals when I said that. I prolly shoulda made that more clear. Sorry. :)
But I do feel that this should be a place or community where we are free to enjoy certain pleasures that nilla folks would wince at.

Blushes, please call me K. :)


< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 9/5/2013 10:25:50 AM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 12:11:09 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Fast reply.
I was referring to kids and animals when I said that. I prolly shoulda made that more clear. Sorry. :)
But I do feel that this should be a place or community where we are free to enjoy certain pleasures that nilla folks would wince at.

Blushes, please call me K. :)



Oh I knew that! I was just agreeing with you but adding to it. (I was out of my mind from lack of sleep.)

Wait. I have your number?!! *squee*!!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 1:52:22 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Lol, I meant just call me K. Not TNDommeK...

I'm so not sure how we got onto farm animals but were way off topic. From legit kinks to farm animals, tune in next post to see what happens. Lol

_____________________________

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 1:52:30 PM   
VictorCrackus


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		Though I obviously don't post much on the boards, I've noticed that at least in my area, that the majority of dommes require money for just about anything. I came on the website seeking once seeking play, yes. But sometimes we grow as we age, and now I've found that the majority of dommes around me require payment. I can understand understand -Findom- in the sense of a relationship. With romance, with boundaries, within an actual relationship.

Though far be it from me to define what an actual relationship is, perhaps in the common sense of the word is what I'm going for. In that area, I can understand Findom, but when I see just about everyone at least on the website, around this area requiring financial domination, all I can do is just sigh. Wondering what could have been. Outside of degradation fetishes, is ones attention really not enough to garner interest?

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 2:01:52 PM   
RedMagic1


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Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VictorCrackus
Outside of degradation fetishes, is ones attention really not enough to garner interest?

I've skipped at least 40 pages of this thread, but I saw your post in the scroller just now, and wanted to respond.

I just ran a search on female dominants in the US over the age of 35, and looked at everyone with photos on the first page of results. Only a couple mentioned findom or tributes in the positive, and a couple mentioned that they wouldn't accept money so don't offer it because it's insulting. Most didn't mention it either way. So I don't think "all dominant women" are asking for tributes. Rather, it's mostly kink-curious PYT's who are trying to parlay their looks into some extra cash.

Beyond that, though, is the attention you give women interesting and supportive, or creepy? If a woman wants you in her life, she'll remove obstacles; and if she is suspicious of you, she'll place obstacles in your way. If 100% of the women you approach are telling you either "pay to play" or "get lost," then your approach is probably faulty.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 2:08:37 PM   
VictorCrackus


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		I actually don't message those that require such things. A few of them required tribute to chat. Which was actually all I was asking to do. Just a chat. If that is creepy...

Then I'm doomed.

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Profile   Post #: 1588
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 2:15:32 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VictorCrackus

I actually don't message those that require such things. A few of them required tribute to chat. Which was actually all I was asking to do. Just a chat. If that is creepy...

Then I'm doomed.

Maybe you ran into scammers. But consider this from the woman's point of view. She received maybe 100 requests to chat in the last week, and 95% or more of the men she chatted with talked with her by typing one-handed until they climaxed, then they disappeared from the chat window. So it's not uncommon for women to demand some form of money down, so they won't feel as used in chat. This is learned behavior, after having chats go poorly one too many times.

The "secret" is to get her wanting to chat with you. If she wants to find out more about you, wants to pursue you back, then she'll go out of her way to make it easier to communicate.

So don't ask to chat until you're sure she will say yes. Actually, I'd skip yahoo/MSN altogether, and ask for a phone number. Much more adult and confident. But again, ask when you know she'll say yes, because you're getting along well, and it's the next logical step.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to VictorCrackus)
Profile   Post #: 1589
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 2:24:45 PM   
VictorCrackus


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		I believe I can manage to interest a woman that is at least interested in the same thing I'm interested in. Which is what I look for really. The thing is, Findom isn't one of those things. I'm just saddened that at least for Texas, the majority of them are into Findom, be they scammers or the real thing. I simply lament the over abundance of them for now. But thank you for the advice.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 2:37:11 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VictorCrackus
I'm just saddened that at least for Texas, the majority of them are into Findom, be they scammers or the real thing.

I just looked at dominant women in Texas, and the breakdown seems to be along age lines. Under 30 (and especially under 25) a large percentage of the women mention findom or tribute. Over 30, only a handful do.

Could you date a 23-year-old cheerleader in vanilla, say from Match.com or meeting her in a bar, based on your looks and personality alone? If yes, I can see why you're concerned about the situation on CM. But if the answer is "probably not," why do you think fetish would be any different from vanilla? Women are attracted to looks, personality, accomplishments, money. Different women will prioritize those categories differently, but there's usually one main reason a 50-year-old male doctor is dating a 25-year-old Hooters girl.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to VictorCrackus)
Profile   Post #: 1591
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 2:47:01 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Lol, I meant just call me K. Not TNDommeK...

I'm so not sure how we got onto farm animals but were way off topic. From legit kinks to farm animals, tune in next post to see what happens. Lol


*lol* :)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 3:10:17 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VictorCrackus
I actually don't message those that require such things. A few of them required tribute to chat. Which was actually all I was asking to do. Just a chat. If that is creepy...

Then I'm doomed.

This is probably off topic considering this is a findomme thread.

I hate to tell you this, but yes, it's probably creepy. What was it that you wanted to chat about? Chances are (and I'm basing this on the majority in such cases) you wanted to chat about sex or kink. If you approached a woman in the physical world and decided you wanted to chat her up about sex or kink without knowing her, how well do you think that would go?

There are thousands, upon thousands of males on this site who "just want to chat" about kink. Do you have any idea of how boring that is, particularly when there is no reason for Me to care about *your* or even *our* shared kinks? I could be spending the same amount of time engaging in kink with people that I actually have a vested interest. Doing stuff with people I *like* is going to win every time over *talking* about things with some dude that I don't even know.

In this, I can completely understand why cash is the equalizer. Since there is no emotional bond for a female to be inspired to care about your kinks, there's really nothing else on the table for the woman to want to spend the time chatting with you.



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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 3:58:47 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		That and your profile says absolutely nothing about YOU.

_____________________________

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Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 4:07:13 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
There are thousands, upon thousands of males on this site who "just want to chat" about kink. Do you have any idea of how boring that is, particularly when there is no reason for Me to care about *your* or even *our* shared kinks? I could be spending the same amount of time engaging in kink with people that I actually have a vested interest. Doing stuff with people I *like* is going to win every time over *talking* about things with some dude that I don't even know.

This. And to support the point, I could call up LadyPact right now and have a long and I'm sure interesting to both of us conversation about kink. But we already have a relationship. To some extent, she already cares about me.

Someone else said it... you pay in gold coin or "relationship coin" but you pay somehow... just as everyone in a relationship must... men and women alike.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 4:09:02 PM   
cloudboy


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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 4:11:48 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Hahaha, I've heard that before Jeff.
Ya pay one way or another!

_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 1597
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 4:50:39 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy




Why should it die? It's been about the only lucid, informational, thread on the subject that's been mostly conversational, and not full of people shouting past each other's points. It's been said by the mods that if there is a current thread on a subject, that other new ones will be pulled. I'll take this discussion any day over the threads by butthurt whiners.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 6:41:23 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Hahaha, I've heard that before Jeff.Ya pay one way or another!

*nods* And since this is a findomme thread I'd like to underscore the point that this works both ways and across D/s orientations. Everyone in a relationship must provide something the other partner(s) want/need... findommes are not excluded from that despite the fact that money is moving around. There ain't no free lunch for them either.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 1599
RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/5/2013 7:17:36 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I agree, I feel I give something very helpful to my slaves.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 1600
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