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[Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stops frustrating me!


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[Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stops fr... - 9/2/2012 3:36:14 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		The profile says age 39. Turns out his real age is 48.

Worse, that fact comes out only after *I* raise the issue several messages in. I look at his photo, look at his profile, look at his photo again (noting that it oddly bears a date stamp reading '98), look at his profile again. Finally, fearing that I am being rude, I ask how old he actually is.

"Uh...oh yeah, I never got around to updating that. Just didn't seem important..."

Gawd, deception is a turnoff!!!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 3:39:34 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Oh my goodness. One of my exes was notorious for that (after he left me...) i called him on it in my journal and he changed it!

I don't understand thinking it's okay to start a relationship with a lie.

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(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 3:49:25 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Oh my goodness. One of my exes was notorious for that (after he left me...) i called him on it in my journal and he changed it!

I don't understand thinking it's okay to start a relationship with a lie.



Yeah! What the hell do they think is going to happen when we meet face to face? I have met up with guys who clearly sent me photos at least a decade old. They do themselves a great disservice.

First, I will be offended by their deception before they even say a word.

Second, the unexpectedness of their actual appearance will hit me like a slap in the face, leaving me a bit shocked. Guys, that's not the kind of situation where the element of surprise is your friend!

Third, having planted one expectation, they make themselves less attractive by contrast than I might otherwise have perceived them.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 3:50:55 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Exactly, how long can reality be hidden anyway?



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(in reply to Baroana)
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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 3:51:04 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Does CM not update the age? I probably should change mine then,lol. I assumed it did.

But, yea that is sooo not a good thing to start off a relationship with. I don't see anything rude about you straight up asking how old a person is. Aren't you glad you did?

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 3:52:26 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		CM doesnt ask for date of birth so no, it doesnt update.

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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 3:53:35 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		To my knowledge CM profiles don't auto-update.

But a 9 year difference in this case? It looks intentionally misleading.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 3:55:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yeah, Hugh claimed he was ten years younger, but hey, he was using old pictures, too!

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RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:08:40 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		I just checked my profile, figuring it had been years since I updated. My profile has a place for my birthdate, a checkbox next to it if I want to hide my age - which I don't - and no place I can see for me to hand enter my age. So I expect collarme is updating it for me. Although i mention the subject a couple more times in my text profile.

One of those times is where I say, 'Please be older than my children'. So why did a 21 year old just write me?

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:10:30 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Yeah, Hugh claimed he was ten years younger, but hey, he was using old pictures, too!



Years ago I met a man from online who did something similar. He didn't lie about his age, but the photo he showed me was 10 yrs old. When I met him I couldn't believe the difference in his looks. I didn't care about his looks...I mean...he wasn't a turn off because he looked older than the photo, he was a turn off because of the dishonesty.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:19:34 PM   
Master2811


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/4/2012
Status: offline 		Someone I chatted with said in her third chat she was 5 years older than the age mentioned on this site. Her name ended with a number suggesting her age. But she was already 5 years here on this site.

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:23:53 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Does CM not update the age? I probably should change mine then,lol. I assumed it did.

But, yea that is sooo not a good thing to start off a relationship with. I don't see anything rude about you straight up asking how old a person is. Aren't you glad you did?



I definitely am glad I did! However, if it had turned out that my eyes were simply deceiving me, I would have felt bad for impliedly putting him down.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:25:34 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

To my knowledge CM profiles don't auto-update.

But a 9 year difference in this case? It looks intentionally misleading.



Totally, he gave such a lame excuse about never bothering to update his age because he figured he'd never meet anyone worthwhile anyway. What a crock of shit.

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:27:52 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Yeah, Hugh claimed he was ten years younger, but hey, he was using old pictures, too!



Years ago I met a man from online who did something similar. He didn't lie about his age, but the photo he showed me was 10 yrs old. When I met him I couldn't believe the difference in his looks. I didn't care about his looks...I mean...he wasn't a turn off because he looked older than the photo, he was a turn off because of the dishonesty.



Agreed.

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:28:18 PM   
Delilya


Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		Happened to me a couple of months ago. He was coming in from another state, I was there to pick him up at the train and take him to the rental car place. I had no idea who it was walking up to me. Instead of a head full of hair, he had one very bad comb over. He was at best 5'8" instead of the 6'1" he claimed. And he was quite a bit older and heavier than his very old photo showed. Thing was, I still would have helped him get settled, if he had been honest. Since he wasn't I declined dinner and went my merry way.

< Message edited by Delilya -- 9/2/2012 4:29:41 PM >

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(in reply to Master2811)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:31:06 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Master2811

Someone I chatted with said in her third chat she was 5 years older than the age mentioned on this site. Her name ended with a number suggesting her age. But she was already 5 years here on this site.



Hehe. At least she EVENTUALLY came clean on her own. I had to ask this guy myself how old he is.

Without the intention to defame 40-something guys as a group, this has become a pattern of sorts. A handful have send me messages with the subject matter very much focused on looks. For example, "I'm 42, but a very young looking 42" or, "I may not be a jock but I'm very fit!"

(in reply to Master2811)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:33:07 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Delilya

Happened to me a couple of months ago. He was coming in from another state, I was there to pick him up at the train and take him to the rental car place. I had no idea who it was walking up to me. Instead of a head full of hair, he had one very bad comb over. He was at best 5'8" instead of the 6'1" he claimed. And he was quite a bit older and heavier than his very old photo showed. Thing was, I still would have helped him get settled, if he had been honest. Since he wasn't I declined dinner and went my merry way.



That doesn't sound fun. Comb-overs should be outlawed.

(in reply to Delilya)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:36:17 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Shallow Hib is Shallow. (I have added this quality as part of my Midlife Crisis(tm) so I'm not all that practised.)

I value youthfulness. My family is very young looking and energetic. I have clients my age that look older than my dad! That said, I value honesty over everything!

Rant about the ones who are married next, mmkay? Or maybe this can be a mixed base rant.



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(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:36:39 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'll be the party pooper - age matters to me.

My first dom was 11 years older than me and up and died on me. I will not date/submit to someone older than me, and a lie about that is a deal breaker. I will not put myself in a position of loving a man to lose him again - and yes, men my age die, but it would be less common than someone 10 years older. Its one way that i can protect myself.

And there are probably a whole gang of men out there that i could fall in love with that are older than me, but i'm not going there again.....

In this instance i AM age-ist.

(in reply to Delilya)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: [Rant Alert] Aaarrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! This never stop... - 9/2/2012 4:42:00 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I'll be the party pooper - age matters to me.

My first dom was 11 years older than me and up and died on me. I will not date/submit to someone older than me, and a lie about that is a deal breaker. I will not put myself in a position of loving a man to lose him again - and yes, men my age die, but it would be less common than someone 10 years older. Its one way that i can protect myself.

And there are probably a whole gang of men out there that i could fall in love with that are older than me, but i'm not going there again.....

In this instance i AM age-ist.



Hey, I never said age doesn't matter to me. It very much does. I also can't stand those 40, 50, and 60 year-old men who act like victims because then can't get into the pants of the women young enough to be their daughters.

But for purposes of this thread, I wasn't complaining about older guys per se. I was complaining specifically about age-lying.

And Hibby, of course we can expand the rant subjects. Did I ever discuss the guy I met who happened to be married with three kids? He said he thought I knew. Since then, I always ask directly about spouses and children in the first message or two.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 20
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