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Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 12:39:15 AM   
Theo23


Posts: 47
Joined: 5/4/2006
From: Minneapolis
Status: offline 		Being that my pleasure is directly dependent on my partners, I always enjoy learning more about the physce of Dominant women. I'm of the opinion that for many Dominant women, pushing thier submissives limits is a huge part of what they enjoy. On the other hand, I see many profiles looking for expierenced subs only.

While expierenced subs certainly have things left to explore and soft limits to be pushed (many of them anyhow) these two things seem to be at odds. So I'm curious and would love to read some opinions on what the ladies here prefer. A 'new' toy to mold and play with or someone who's been there, done that?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 1:24:25 AM   
SeekingaServant


Posts: 37
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline 		I personally am looking for a semi experienced slave, at minimum. I would not want a fully "freshmeat" kind...ugh, too much work breaking them of all their preconcieved notions.

(in reply to Theo23)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 2:32:31 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I have found that those who are completely new have some seriously flawed preconceived notions as to how exactly *I* should act.  This is not everyone of course but enough to have made an impression on me.  Experience is not as much an issue for me as maturity and realism.  If the person read a few erotic novels and expects the daily interaction to be like that...it will be a disappointment.  If someone does not have a lot of experience but has lurked and read enough to have cleared the cobwebs some, sure, I'd be up for it. 

My problem comes with most people who have been in this for awhile.  As you remain in the scene you grow.  What squicked you 10 years ago won't even have you bat an eye today.  So, when you get to a point where your tastes are more...well rounded...it is more difficult to find a partner who is willing to play at the same level as you right off the bat.  For the right person, though, it may be worth the wait. 

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to SeekingaServant)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 5:50:15 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Theo23

Being that my pleasure is directly dependent on my partners, I always enjoy learning more about the physce of Dominant women. I'm of the opinion that for many Dominant women, pushing thier submissives limits is a huge part of what they enjoy. On the other hand, I see many profiles looking for expierenced subs only.

While expierenced subs certainly have things left to explore and soft limits to be pushed (many of them anyhow) these two things seem to be at odds. So I'm curious and would love to read some opinions on what the ladies here prefer. A 'new' toy to mold and play with or someone who's been there, done that?


I never go out of my way to push limits -- I scene and I live as I want. If that pushes someone's limits, so be it and I'll be aware of that enough to take them step by step.

Experience isn't any factor for me. Attitude and flexiblity (in time, attitude, ways of doing things) is.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Theo23)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 6:30:48 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingaServant

I personally am looking for a semi experienced slave, at minimum. I would not want a fully "freshmeat" kind...ugh, too much work breaking them of all their preconcieved notions.


Actually, the most annoying submissive I've known was very experienced.  She had been the personal slave of a well-known pro-dom and I had more problems getting her to let lose of what she "knew" about submission than any novice I've ever had anything to do with.



_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to SeekingaServant)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 6:58:21 AM   
MistressDiane


Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		I prefer one that has "enough experience" to know who and what they are.

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 6:59:59 AM   
MistressDiane


Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		sorry John hit the fast reply button.

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to MistressDiane)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 7:04:01 AM   
MochaMistress


Posts: 275
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer the ones in between that know enough about themselves. I can train them for my needs. In my experience its the one with lots of experience that come across as topping from the bottom.

(in reply to Theo23)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 7:39:17 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDiane

sorry John hit the fast reply button.


No problem on two levels.  It was a valid comment that fitted into the discussion and it didn't attack what I'd already written.

My only problem with the rapid reply system is people who use "you" in their reply and seem to be directly attacking me.  Then, I get a bit testy.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to MistressDiane)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 8:43:35 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
You’re making a dichotomy where one doesn’t exist.
Pushing limits versus experienced submissive.

I don’t push limits at all. It has nothing to do with my submissive’s experience level. I’m not going to push the limits of a newbie. I’m not going to push the limits of someone who’s been in the lifestyle 20 years.

Taking the whole pushing limits scenario out of the question, it leaves, do I prefer newbies or more experienced subs.

I used to be fond of newbies. But more often than not lately, I have found that they are completely living in fantasy land and it’s not worth my time and effort. I grew tired of dispelling myths, reconstructing perceptions to fit reality, and letting people know the difference between "fetishist", "bottom", and submissive or slave.

I prefer someone who has a realistic grip on this lifestyle and possesses some basic education about WIITWD. Once someone has been around the block a few times, they get a better idea of what they are looking for and what they should call themselves, and how they should present themselves.

I have more respect for someone who can say "I am a wanker and a fetishist and I’m looking for a Lady who can Top me in the bedroom on weekends, no-strings attached." than I do for a wanking fetishist who says "I’m a slave looking for a Mistress to serve."

So, I guess for me, it’s not so much a matter of experience as it is a matter of education and honesty in presentation.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Theo23)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 4:07:53 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		I have met complete novices that were more dialed in to their submission the experienced slaves. It doesn’t matter to me how many years they have or don’t have under their belt (or someone else’s belt lol-) its how we connect and how our chemistry is.   It’s not a question of limits being challenged. I don’t get off on that. The journey, which you might call “molding” is one we take together. They step into my life to experience me, serve and adore me. How they do this is what gets me off.    

_____________________________



(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 4:26:20 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

I have met complete novices that were more dialed in to their submission the experienced slaves. It doesn’t matter to me how many years they have or don’t have under their belt (or someone else’s belt lol-) its how we connect and how our chemistry is. It’s not a question of limits being challenged. I don’t get off on that. The journey, which you might call “molding” is one we take together. They step into my life to experience me, serve and adore me. How they do this is what gets me off.



I agree with this almost verbatim...almost. Occasionally I *do* enjoy limits being challenged. I adore the sub who is willing to take risks he wouldn't have before he met me 1) because he trusts me, and 2) because the limit we're pressing is something I REALLY like to do.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 4:57:42 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I generally prefer inexperienced submissives.

I don't like to be compared to "former Mistresses" or have to break bad habits, or deal with a sub that believes his needs come first or his fetishes are already set and not flexible.  I like a clean slate to use -- to mold him into a submissive that develops fetishes around the ones I already have in place.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Theo23)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 5:14:05 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline 		Knowledge and understanding are the key.  My Domme would not scene with me until I had read 5 books on BDSM.  That was enough to give me a general understanding of what was going on.  Of course it was at that point the real education began.  Personally I think that was a great approach.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 5:55:32 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingaServant

I personally am looking for a semi experienced slave, at minimum. I would not want a fully "freshmeat" kind...ugh, too much work breaking them of all their preconcieved notions.


Yup what she said nail = head.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to SeekingaServant)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 6:04:02 PM   
ladylexington


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		When it comes to casual play, I want someone with experience. This is a lazy preference of mine. I don't want to walk a new person through the history of BDSM just to practice my flogging.

In a more long-term realtionship, experience is almost irrelevant. There are much more important qualities to consider - and both the experienced and unexperienced will have to toss aside several misconceptions to learn my likes, dislikes, and approach to the lifestyle.

_____________________________

If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 6:30:54 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Iam with DV here. For me it doesn't matter and with someone new, we would always have a new adventure as well as with those of experience. As for any sub with experience...it doesn't matter as Iam still Mayor, Sheriff and all around purveyor in painville.

(in reply to ladylexington)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 6:33:32 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		ladylexington, obviously I still don't know how to reply to the OP.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 6:41:20 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Personally, I tend to prefer fresh meat to experienced subs for one simple reason. Fresh meat has no ideas about how you are going to want to be served and usually doesnt try and anticipate your likes and dislikes.  The experiences I ahve had with subs that have had owners before me has almost always been that they carry over what they were taught before, whether or not I like it. With my newer pets, I have the luxury of starting from a blank slate and only teaching what I like or dont like.  But, of course, thats simply my preference.

the other DV

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. - 6/12/2006 7:03:16 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Theo,
 
I am pretty well settled in what I want and what I don't want, what I enjoy and what I don't care about.
I don't worry about limits.  I find that the biggest limit is the total power exchange.  If a boy can show Me that this is not a problem for him, then the rest can fall into place.  It is easy to talk about limits regarding specific BDSM activities, but the day to day is the true limit for most.
So that is the one that is important to Me.   The most experienced boy in the world can be a royal pain in the ass, while the one with little experience, but a pure heart and a readiness to serve in all capacities, can be a joy.  Anyone can rack up time on every piece of BDSM equipment and pervertable.  But if the smile and contentment is not there while scrubbing the toilet, all that experience means nothing to Me. 
Hope that made some sense.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Theo23)
Profile   Post #: 20
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