Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub.

Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (Full Version)

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Theo23 -> Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 12:39:15 AM)
Being that my pleasure is directly dependent on my partners, I always enjoy learning more about the physce of Dominant women. I'm of the opinion that for many Dominant women, pushing thier submissives limits is a huge part of what they enjoy. On the other hand, I see many profiles looking for expierenced subs only. While expierenced subs certainly have things left to explore and soft limits to be pushed (many of them anyhow) these two things seem to be at odds. So I'm curious and would love to read some opinions on what the ladies here prefer. A 'new' toy to mold and play with or someone who's been there, done that?

SeekingaServant -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 1:24:25 AM)
I personally am looking for a semi experienced slave, at minimum. I would not want a fully "freshmeat" kind...ugh, too much work breaking them of all their preconcieved notions.

MsKatHouston -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 2:32:31 AM)
I have found that those who are completely new have some seriously flawed preconceived notions as to how exactly I should act. This is not everyone of course but enough to have made an impression on me. Experience is not as much an issue for me as maturity and realism. If the person read a few erotic novels and expects the daily interaction to be like that...it will be a disappointment. If someone does not have a lot of experience but has lurked and read enough to have cleared the cobwebs some, sure, I'd be up for it. My problem comes with most people who have been in this for awhile. As you remain in the scene you grow. What squicked you 10 years ago won't even have you bat an eye today. So, when you get to a point where your tastes are more...well rounded...it is more difficult to find a partner who is willing to play at the same level as you right off the bat. For the right person, though, it may be worth the wait.

thetammyjo -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 5:50:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Theo23 Being that my pleasure is directly dependent on my partners, I always enjoy learning more about the physce of Dominant women. I'm of the opinion that for many Dominant women, pushing thier submissives limits is a huge part of what they enjoy. On the other hand, I see many profiles looking for expierenced subs only. While expierenced subs certainly have things left to explore and soft limits to be pushed (many of them anyhow) these two things seem to be at odds. So I'm curious and would love to read some opinions on what the ladies here prefer. A 'new' toy to mold and play with or someone who's been there, done that? I never go out of my way to push limits -- I scene and I live as I want. If that pushes someone's limits, so be it and I'll be aware of that enough to take them step by step. Experience isn't any factor for me. Attitude and flexiblity (in time, attitude, ways of doing things) is.

JohnWarren -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 6:30:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SeekingaServant I personally am looking for a semi experienced slave, at minimum. I would not want a fully "freshmeat" kind...ugh, too much work breaking them of all their preconcieved notions. Actually, the most annoying submissive I've known was very experienced. She had been the personal slave of a well-known pro-dom and I had more problems getting her to let lose of what she "knew" about submission than any novice I've ever had anything to do with.

MistressDiane -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 6:58:21 AM)
I prefer one that has "enough experience" to know who and what they are.

MistressDiane -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 6:59:59 AM)
sorry John hit the fast reply button.

MochaMistress -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 7:04:01 AM)
I prefer the ones in between that know enough about themselves. I can train them for my needs. In my experience its the one with lots of experience that come across as topping from the bottom.

JohnWarren -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 7:39:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDiane sorry John hit the fast reply button. No problem on two levels. It was a valid comment that fitted into the discussion and it didn't attack what I'd already written. My only problem with the rapid reply system is people who use "you" in their reply and seem to be directly attacking me. Then, I get a bit testy.

Proprietrix -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 8:43:35 AM)
You’re making a dichotomy where one doesn’t exist. Pushing limits versus experienced submissive. I don’t push limits at all. It has nothing to do with my submissive’s experience level. I’m not going to push the limits of a newbie. I’m not going to push the limits of someone who’s been in the lifestyle 20 years. Taking the whole pushing limits scenario out of the question, it leaves, do I prefer newbies or more experienced subs. I used to be fond of newbies. But more often than not lately, I have found that they are completely living in fantasy land and it’s not worth my time and effort. I grew tired of dispelling myths, reconstructing perceptions to fit reality, and letting people know the difference between "fetishist", "bottom", and submissive or slave. I prefer someone who has a realistic grip on this lifestyle and possesses some basic education about WIITWD. Once someone has been around the block a few times, they get a better idea of what they are looking for and what they should call themselves, and how they should present themselves. I have more respect for someone who can say "I am a wanker and a fetishist and I’m looking for a Lady who can Top me in the bedroom on weekends, no-strings attached." than I do for a wanking fetishist who says "I’m a slave looking for a Mistress to serve." So, I guess for me, it’s not so much a matter of experience as it is a matter of education and honesty in presentation.

DiannaVesta -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 4:07:53 PM)
I have met complete novices that were more dialed in to their submission the experienced slaves. It doesn’t matter to me how many years they have or don’t have under their belt (or someone else’s belt lol-) its how we connect and how our chemistry is. It’s not a question of limits being challenged. I don’t get off on that. The journey, which you might call “molding” is one we take together. They step into my life to experience me, serve and adore me. How they do this is what gets me off.

Misstoyou -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 4:26:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta I have met complete novices that were more dialed in to their submission the experienced slaves. It doesn’t matter to me how many years they have or don’t have under their belt (or someone else’s belt lol-) its how we connect and how our chemistry is. It’s not a question of limits being challenged. I don’t get off on that. The journey, which you might call “molding” is one we take together. They step into my life to experience me, serve and adore me. How they do this is what gets me off. I agree with this almost verbatim...almost. Occasionally I do enjoy limits being challenged. I adore the sub who is willing to take risks he wouldn't have before he met me 1) because he trusts me, and 2) because the limit we're pressing is something I REALLY like to do.

AAkasha -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 4:57:42 PM)
I generally prefer inexperienced submissives. I don't like to be compared to "former Mistresses" or have to break bad habits, or deal with a sub that believes his needs come first or his fetishes are already set and not flexible. I like a clean slate to use -- to mold him into a submissive that develops fetishes around the ones I already have in place. Akasha

TeeGO -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 5:14:05 PM)
Knowledge and understanding are the key. My Domme would not scene with me until I had read 5 books on BDSM. That was enough to give me a general understanding of what was going on. Of course it was at that point the real education began. Personally I think that was a great approach.

theRose4U -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 5:55:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SeekingaServant I personally am looking for a semi experienced slave, at minimum. I would not want a fully "freshmeat" kind...ugh, too much work breaking them of all their preconcieved notions. Yup what she said nail = head.

ladylexington -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 6:04:02 PM)
When it comes to casual play, I want someone with experience. This is a lazy preference of mine. I don't want to walk a new person through the history of BDSM just to practice my flogging. In a more long-term realtionship, experience is almost irrelevant. There are much more important qualities to consider - and both the experienced and unexperienced will have to toss aside several misconceptions to learn my likes, dislikes, and approach to the lifestyle.

MrRodgers -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 6:30:54 PM)
Iam with DV here. For me it doesn't matter and with someone new, we would always have a new adventure as well as with those of experience. As for any sub with experience...it doesn't matter as Iam still Mayor, Sheriff and all around purveyor in painville.

MrRodgers -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 6:33:32 PM)
ladylexington, obviously I still don't know how to reply to the OP.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 6:41:20 PM)
Personally, I tend to prefer fresh meat to experienced subs for one simple reason. Fresh meat has no ideas about how you are going to want to be served and usually doesnt try and anticipate your likes and dislikes. The experiences I ahve had with subs that have had owners before me has almost always been that they carry over what they were taught before, whether or not I like it. With my newer pets, I have the luxury of starting from a blank slate and only teaching what I like or dont like. But, of course, thats simply my preference. the other DV

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Fresh meat VS. Expierenced Sub. (6/12/2006 7:03:16 PM)
Theo, I am pretty well settled in what I want and what I don't want, what I enjoy and what I don't care about. I don't worry about limits. I find that the biggest limit is the total power exchange. If a boy can show Me that this is not a problem for him, then the rest can fall into place. It is easy to talk about limits regarding specific BDSM activities, but the day to day is the true limit for most. So that is the one that is important to Me. The most experienced boy in the world can be a royal pain in the ass, while the one with little experience, but a pure heart and a readiness to serve in all capacities, can be a joy. Anyone can rack up time on every piece of BDSM equipment and pervertable. But if the smile and contentment is not there while scrubbing the toilet, all that experience means nothing to Me. Hope that made some sense.

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